--- ai_generation_date: '2026-10-26' ai_model: gemini-3.1-pro-preview ai_prompt_hash: 2d625dd6 audiodharma: talks: - date: '2020-09-30' is_meditation: false mp3_url: https://audiodharma.us-east-1.linodeobjects.com/talks/12191/20200930-Nikki_Mirghafori-IMC-happy_hour_pillars_of_joy_1_8_perspective_ii.mp3 section_slug: reflections speakers: - speaker_name: Nikki Mirghafori speaker_url: https://www.audiodharma.org/speakers/229 talk_start_time_seconds: 0 title: 'Happy Hour: Pillars of Joy (1/8) - Perspective II' url: https://www.audiodharma.org/talks/12191 video_unavailable: false collapsed_sections: - guided-meditation location_city: Redwood City, CA video_unavailable: false youtube: id: 76kR2sZzHG4 imprecise_upload_date: '2021-05-04' title: 'Happy Hour: Pillars of Joy (1/8) -- Perspective II' upload_date: null uploader_str: Insight Meditation Center uploader_url: https://www.youtube.com/@InsightMeditationCenter youtube_url: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=76kR2sZzHG4 --- # Happy Hour: Pillars of Joy (1/8) - Perspective II - [Nikki Mirghafori](https://www.audiodharma.org/speakers/229) _This is an AI-generated transcript from auto-generated subtitles for the video above. It likely contains inaccuracies, especially with speaker attribution if there are multiple speakers._ ## [Happy Hour: Pillars of Joy (1/8) - Perspective II](https://www.audiodharma.org/talks/12191) ## Introduction So hello and welcome everyone, wherever you are joining in this moment or listening afterwards on AudioDharma. So we started a new series this week, and the series we're exploring—and we're going to work our way through exploring these different aspects—is the eight pillars of joy, which I referred to last week and the week before that with those of you who might have been present. The first pillar of joy is perspective. So we spent some time on Monday or Tuesday morning, for those of you from Asia or Australia to China, with the theme of perspective. And we explored perspective in one way... from seeing all the other people who suffer like us in the same situation. And many of you shared that that was a very powerful practice experience for you and requested we do more of that. I see people are nodding yes, so we will do more of that. What I wanted to invite us to explore tonight, instead of moving to other pillars of joy, is to stay with perspective. To stay with perspective and explore it in a slightly different way. One reason being that the perspective that we take in life about whatever arises and passes in our life, in our minds, is really the most fundamental, most important aspect that determines our happiness or our unhappiness. And there's also, as I mentioned (I won't repeat because it's all recorded, if anybody missed it you can go back and listen to the discussion on Monday), there's also research suggesting that our perspective is really the most important basic aspect that determines our experience. And also, it happens to be the first of the eight path factors in the Eightfold Path[^1]. It's the very basic Buddhist teaching on the way to live so that we are free; we live with freedom, with ease, with goodness, with joy, of service. Wise perspective is also the very first path factor. For that reason, it really sets everything else in motion. If the way you see things is contractive—"Oh, poor me," or so many other ways that your perspective could be—instead of, say in this example I'm giving right now, one of feeling your resourcefulness. As we are all resourceful in so many ways. Yes, we all have challenges. Every single one of us has challenges, and we're also resourceful beyond all imagination. So one perspective, for example, could be just focusing on how we're a victim, how things happen to us, and not really seeing our resources, our ability to be aware, to be kind, to be generous with ourselves and others, etc. So the way we will explore perspective in the guided meditation tonight, today, is one of perspective with respect to time and space. Last time it was a sense of common humanity, that's the way I invited us to shift our perspective with respect to common humanity. So remember that that's one way, and today what we will explore is shifting our perspective with respect to time and space. I've already talked enough, so let's get into our meditation posture. ## Guided Meditation Ah, you can let all the words go. Whatever you need will just be shared with you in the experience. So moving, shifting if you need to, to get into a more comfortable position, to a different posture. This is the perfect time to do that. And landing. Landing in this body. Landing. Landing in this moment. Arriving. Starting by greeting. Ah, greeting the breath. Receiving the breath in the abdomen. Softening and relaxing your sit bones, your legs, your feet. With each out-breath, landing more deeply. Relaxing, relaxing more. Letting go of any tension in the lower body, legs, your sit bones. The abdomen, chest, the neck and shoulders. Ah, spending a little time with the neck and shoulders. With the next out-breath, relaxing, softening. Letting go of any tension. Letting it evaporate. Relaxing the arms, the hands especially. The face, the forehead, letting it smooth out. Relaxing the jaw. Bringing awareness to the whole body. If there's any tension anywhere, letting go, releasing. Relaxing with the next out-breath. Each in-breath bringing more awareness, more alertness, more presence to right here, right now. Not yesterday, not tomorrow, not five minutes from now, right here in this moment. Each in-breath making us more aware of all the sensations in the body, and each out-breath... ah, relaxing into this moment. Softening the body. And if you find the mind is wandering, resting on a thought, a plan, inviting, inviting awareness to rest with the breath. Taking refuge in this moment. Refuge in the body. Enjoying this moment of peace, of calm. Taking refuge in the present moment. You can always get to the thoughts later. If they're important enough they'll come back. Just bow to them and say thank you, please come back later, not now. Coming back and just relishing the simplicity of sitting and breathing. Notice if the mind is thinking about something, notice what it's gravitating towards. Just take note. Is it part of a habitual theme? Simply noticing, taking stock. And coming back ever so gently, non-judgmentally to the breath in the body. Such delight there can be, so much peace in just simply being right here, right now. The garden that is this body. Tilling the soil, cultivating your luscious garden. Letting there be a sense of friendliness with your body, with your mind, with your breath. As if you're greeting your friend, the breath as a friend. Your body as a friend, even if there are pains and challenges, someone you care about. With a friendly attitude, friendly perspective, perspective of goodwill. Or so light, as if a dropper of color dropped in. Just feeling it in your bones, your breath. Maybe it shows up as a smile, a physical smile. As if your body were smiling. Smiling with your heart. Greeting this moment's experience, greeting the breathing. I'd like to invite you, if you will, to bring to mind a situation or a problem or a challenge you're facing in your life right now. Now I'm going to invite you to describe the problem as if it were happening to someone else, using your name rather than the words "me" or "mine". Shifting perspective. I'd like to invite you to actually have some more physical space, as if you're stepping back a few feet, describing, watching a situation from a third-person perspective. If it hasn't already arisen, from a third-person perspective that is perhaps kind, if that's available, describing the situation. And notice with this shift of using your name instead of "me", "myself", and "I", describing the situation, and also the space, the physical space, watching yourself, watching your life as if a movie where you're a third-person observer, a kind observer. See what kind of a shift that might bring. Is there still a sense of reactivity and tightness and feeling caught, or has that jiggled somehow open? Please remember to stay with your body and breath, just to stay settled as you're going through this reflection. Coming back to the breath and body as much as possible to keep it grounded. Just feeling it in your body, you're not trying to think about it, you're not trying to problem-solve. It's just shifting perspectives and feeling into it, feeling the body. Now I'd like to invite you, if you will, to imagine this issue from the perspective of a week, a year, or even a decade from now. Will this issue or event still have an impact on you? Will you even remember it? And what would you have learned, how may you have grown from working through this experience? Again, staying in the body with the breath as you drop in these reflections, as if a pebble into a pond. Not into your head, into your body. Can there be a sense of compassion and kindness for yourself or the situation from the perspective of years' time in the future, looking back? Staying with the body, staying with the breath, relaxing the body. If you notice any tightness is coming, letting that reflection go, just coming back to the breath in the body. And one more invitation if you wish. Now with this issue, witnessing the issue from a universal perspective. Popping up, a bird's eye view, far, far away. And see the situation, your concerns, your fears, your frustrations, from this vantage point. Now seeing all the people, all the other people too, as well as yourself. All of you, all of us, worthy of love, respect, appreciation, care, kindness. And now ask, ask what would serve the whole? Just drop the question into your body. Again, not into your head, as if a pebble in a pond, dropping in the body. What would serve? What would serve the whole? Don't think about the answers, see if something comes up. If nothing comes up, that's okay, just sit with the breath, the relaxed body. Now letting go of all these explorations of different perspectives and just sitting. Taking refuge in this moment with the body and the breath. And for the last moments of this practice period, to hold yourself with kindness and care and appreciation for having tried. For having sat, having showed up, aligning your actions with your aspiration, and letting go of any attachment to outcome. With humility, appreciating that you showed up, you did your best. As if you were your best friend who showed up for you, you showed up when you needed them, they were there for you. Appreciating yourself in the same way, you showed up. And may our practice, may our showing up together in Sangha[^2] support be of service to our own awakening and the freedom, goodness, and joy for all beings everywhere. Thank you all for showing up for your practice. ## Reflections So before... yeah, thank you Neil for the reminder to make the announcement after making time for reflections. I'd like to open the space for some reflections. If you want to say a word or two or phrase, you can put it in chat or unmute yourself. And these were different ways of exploring some different perspectives. Some might have worked for you, some didn't. It's all okay. And again, it's not to think about, it's to drop in, to shift the perspective and see what happens. It's not supposed to be a thinking meditation. And if it was too much thinking, please try it again later by dropping in these reflections, these shifts in way of seeing, and see what can change and shift. I particularly appreciated telling the story not in the first person, but in the third person. For me, there was a sense of compassion both in that and seeing all beings. They're just different feelings that can arise, so I'm curious to hear from you. Great, Marie Christine says, "I chose too big an annoyance which led me to be very active." Ah, thanks for that reflection Marie Christine. It might be helpful to start with something a little smaller. I usually say that, I usually say, you know, don't choose the top one that's the biggest one. But this is something we learned also from our own practice, so we kind of build up to the big annoyances. Bill offers, "I like the idea of objectivity about my own concern." Nice. Casey says, "Helpful." Forest offers, "Tenderness for my own effort." Oh, I like that, thank you. Bill also offers, "Also really like the idea of looking for themes in stray thoughts." Oh yeah, nice. I'm glad you remembered that and caught that to practice that. Violet offers, "It's nice to locate emotions, thoughts, difficulties in the body. It is easier to then sit with the bodily sensations of the difficulty rather than get stuck in the story." Yes, great. Thank you for observing that, it's so important, Violet. Beautiful, it's a felt wisdom. Nav offers, "The scale of time changes the relative size of the present challenges." Yep, scale of time does. An interesting perspective, yeah. Vicki offers, "I felt sadder seeing my situation from a third-person perspective." Ah, interesting. Okay, so it sounds like, Vicki, that brought sadness, so could that sadness possibly be an opening to compassion? There's a question I have for you. Where are you? Oh, there you are, I'm here. And I think I also, like Marie Christine, maybe chose something that was too big of a challenge. Yeah, yeah, so I appreciate that. And also, both for you and Marie Christine, in that case I wonder... also this shift, for something that's big, it's so painful and so difficult that maybe still the contraction doesn't release, but maybe that can become an invitation to invite compassion for it, for this difficult situation. To be held with, "Oh sweetie, this is really hard." From a third-person perspective, this is really hard too. My heart, my heart weeps for you. Of course, that's why you're having trouble with this. Anybody would have trouble with this. Thank you, thank you, yeah, thanks for sharing that. Casey says, "Helpful for me to give myself more self-compassion." Great. Yeah, same theme, wonderful. Yeah. Nice, Liz offers, "So hard to settle, but just being in Sangha is so supportive tonight." Beautiful. "Also appreciating my own effort to just show up and be here tonight." Oh lovely, beautiful. And that makes me happy, but it is a night and I know it makes the Sangha happy too, it just took off this kind of support. I'm so glad you're here. I'm so glad you showed up. Casey also offers, "And same as Vicki with the sadder feeling." Yep, the compassion, yeah. And Neil offers, "Me too, too big. Got real hard when you mentioned to look at it from a decade from now, it still seems pretty big. Hopefully not worse." Yeah, so again, all the big issues take an invitation to bring in compassion. It's not that the practice isn't working, it's just like, okay, this is an invitation to bring that perspective and see we can work with it. Yeah, great. And yeah, lots of pain. Yeah, of course. Of course, it's the human condition. Not just this, and as well as the sign of our times, there's plenty of pain all around. I think it was interesting that Casey says, "It was interesting that I mentioned a decade later. I couldn't think that far because I'm not sure I will be alive." It's just an invitation I suggested, you know, a week, a month, a year, a day, 10 days. So you can try. These are all invitations to shift the perspective. So if the mind is kind of clingy, like "Oh that doesn't work for me," it might be like "Okay fine, so I'm just trying it on for size." These are just experiments. So I appreciate you bringing that up Casey, because again it reminds me that all of these are explorations for us to try. Oh, and some may not work for you, so adapt them for what works for you. Just providing some invitations to play around with. You know yourself better than I know you, what you need. "Ah, this is big and needs more compassion." So great, fantastic. So let's get into groups, and before we do that I want to make a couple of announcements. ## Announcements and Group Practice One is that, thank you Neil for reminding me, there's a survey that Insight Meditation Center, through which the happy hour is offered, there is a survey that's happening. And I want to ask you if you would kindly please fill the survey as the happy hour Sangha. And the survey has to do with opening, because happy hour used to be in person, and now we're wondering what people's needs are. And this is an international Sangha, so if you want to say, "Hey, would really like this to continue to be on Zoom," then we'll consider it. So please, the place to find that would be if you go to insightmeditationcenter.org. I put it in chat again: insightmeditationcenter.org. And on the very top, you'll see a link to the survey. And if you would please fill the survey as a gift of your generosity of time, that would be greatly appreciated by IMC as we're trying to figure out if and when we open up again the center, how these programs are going to show up. Oh yes, thank you Violet for putting the direct link to the SurveyMonkey link. And the other announcement I want to make is that Zoom seems to have shifted and changed things so that I cannot disable the waiting room. So we might need to reset this Zoom room, in which case we might have to change the link. So if you have memorized the link, please check the calendar. It might change. If you try to get in and you can't get in tomorrow or in the next few days, we might have to change it in order to fix all this. So that's just a heads up. Okay, so with that, I'd like to invite us into practicing in community. Thank you for showing up tonight, showing up for yourself, showing up for others. So together the theme is perspective. How can you have the perspective of looking at the three of you without judging yourself, "Oh that thing I said wasn't very smart," or that other person, like seeing the three of you from a bird's eye view perspective. Here are three human beings practicing together. Is that possible in real time, the perspective of kindness and compassion, a third-person perspective or the fourth-person perspective? Because there'll be three of you in most rooms. And if you can't participate, it's all okay, but please don't sign off out of fear. But if you have to go, it's completely understandable. So I will make the rooms now, and let's see. Here we go, a little bit of... okay, alright. I'm about to open the rooms. Here we go. ## Post-Group Reflections Okay, alright everyone, welcome back. So we have just one minute if anybody wants to talk about if anybody actually tried on this third-person perspective as you were in community, and how that worked. So feel free to unmute yourself, because I may not see your hand if you raise your hand, and what happened if you did that. Did it work, was it strange, did you even remember? **Participant:** So I remembered, and you know it was actually in combination with what Bill's chat message was, right, which was "There's a lot of pain in this Sangha," something like that. And you know, that came back to me, you know, as the three of us were talking, right? Because I mean all three of us had, you know, different flavors but a difficult time with this, you know. And so you know, there was... I did feel some sort of universal compassion for all of us, which, you know, of course the three of us aren't anything special. Um, you know, so, I mean everyone suffers. **Nikki:** Thank you, Neil. Well said. I'll just leave it at that. I think that's the perfect Dharma[^3] wisdom to end our evening with. Yeah, thank you, thank you. So I want to thank you all. Thank you all for showing up and practicing with challenges or difficulties. And when practice is challenging too, and it opens your heart in some ways in seeing the common humanity. We all have challenges, it's not just us, it's not just you, it's not "me, myself, or mine". So in that way, yay, I celebrate the practice! Even if this practice seems challenging, it is working because it's opening our heart to see, "Hey, the perspective shifts." In interesting ways, not in a perhaps micro way, but in the macro way the perspective shifts. So I want to thank you all for showing up, for practicing for the benefit of yourself and all beings whose lives you touch. May you all be well, happy, safe. Have joy and ease, and all beings everywhere also. Thank you. [Laughter] Thank goodness you're all very special to me, thank you! Thank you all, bye! --- [^1]: **Eightfold Path:** The Noble Eightfold Path is the Buddha's principal teaching on the path to liberation from suffering, consisting of eight interconnected practices: Right View, Right Resolve, Right Speech, Right Action, Right Livelihood, Right Effort, Right Mindfulness, and Right Concentration. [^2]: **Sangha:** The Buddhist community; it can refer specifically to the monastic community or more broadly to the entire community of practitioners. [^3]: **Dharma:** The teachings of the Buddha; also the truth of the way things are.