--- ai_generation_date: '2026-07-27' ai_model: gemini-3-pro-preview audiodharma: talks: - date: '2026-07-13' mp3_url: https://audiodharma.us-east-1.linodeobjects.com/talks/25854/20260713-jim_podolske-imc-practicing_with_receptive_awareness.mp3 speakers: - speaker_name: Jim Podolske speaker_url: https://www.audiodharma.org/speakers/118 talk_start_time_seconds: 0 title: Practicing with receptive awareness url: https://www.audiodharma.org/talks/25854 video_unavailable: false location_city: Redwood City, CA video_unavailable: false youtube: id: Dx4OKB7hwhY imprecise_upload_date: null title: Monday Evening Sit and Talk with Jim Podolske upload_date: '2026-07-14' uploader_str: Insight Meditation Center uploader_url: https://www.youtube.com/@InsightMeditationCenter youtube_url: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dx4OKB7hwhY --- # Practicing with receptive awareness - [Jim Podolske](https://www.audiodharma.org/speakers/118) _This is an AI-generated transcript from auto-generated subtitles for the video above. It likely contains inaccuracies, especially with speaker attribution if there are multiple speakers._ ## [Practicing with receptive awareness](https://www.audiodharma.org/talks/25854) Well, good evening everyone. Welcome. Diana is away this week, so she asked me to talk to you. About two months ago, I was on a two-week retreat. I did a retreat up in Cloud Mountain Retreat Center in southern Washington with Andrea Fella and Carol Wilson. So I thought I'd talk about what that retreat was like for me and what I gained out of it. The retreat was based on the meditation style of a Burmese teacher called Sayadaw U Tejaniya[^1], and Andrea has been teaching that style for probably the last fifteen or twenty years. There are plenty of talks on AudioDharma about the Sayadaw's teaching, and he's also written books. In about the last year or so, Diana has been spinning up on that technique. She's going to be teaching retreats on the methods of Sayadaw U Tejaniya. All that being said, this will not be the end-all and be-all talk on this particular style of practice, but I wanted to share with you what it's been like for me. One of the things that I like about it is it's fairly simple. You can summarize it by just describing four parts or elements. These elements aren't meant to be instructions in the sense of this being a prescription of how to do the practice, but more they're a description of what you might find. So there are some suggestions and some guidance that I'll be talking about, but it isn't something that is so prescribed as some of the other meditation techniques that you may have learned, particularly from the Mahasi[^2] school of teaching. ## Element One: Relax The first of the four elements, suggestions, or guidance is to relax. Before anything else, relax. That may conjure up images of things like sitting in a recliner, turning on the television, or drinking a beer. That's not what's being pointed to in this particular practice. Relaxing can really start with the body. As you perhaps engage in a formal meditation practice like the sitting that we just did, you can start by scanning from the top of your head to the bottom of your feet, looking for places of tension, of tightness, of holding, or of contraction. Often, if you start at the top of your head, you might notice if there is some tension in the scalp, or in the muscles around the eyes, in the jaw, in the neck, in the shoulders, and the arms. Sometimes there can be tension in the hands, in the chest, in the muscles between the ribs, in the abdomen, in the upper back, the lower back, the buttocks, the upper legs, the lower legs, and the feet. It can be a relatively simple scan. Maybe just taking a couple of minutes of going through the whole body and looking for places where there's something being held. Sometimes just scanning through and noticing it may cause it to relax on its own. For example, quite often for me, the neck and shoulders can get tight. By just noticing that, I can just let them relax a little bit. Sometimes the chest or the abdomen can relax as well. Relaxing isn't something you can force. You can't force yourself to be relaxed, but you can notice what parts of the body are not relaxed. If just noticing doesn't bring release, another simple, gentle way that can sometimes bring release is by imagining that you're breathing through that tension. Imagine the breath going through the neck, or through the head, or through the back and out. Sometimes just that gentle motion of the breath and that gentle imagining of it moving through the tension can also help bring some release. Finally, there may be some tension that just isn't going to let go right away. Just acknowledge it. Note that it's there, maybe offering some kindness to that part of the body, and just allowing it to be. Oftentimes, as you bring some sense of relaxation and ease to the body, there may also be some letting go in the mind. There may be some tension in the mind as well, like thoughts of things that happened today, thoughts of things that are going to happen tomorrow, or just some fantasy. Just noticing if there's some tension in the mind will sometimes allow that to relax a bit. So that's the number one element: relax. Say it to yourself in a gentle, kind, and relaxed way. It's not like, "Relax, darn it." ## Element Two: Am I Aware Right Now? Once there's a greater sense of ease or stability, then you can ask the question, which is the second element: _Am I aware right now?_ Is awareness present right now in my experience? I really like this question. This is a question that I carry with me throughout the day, not only in sitting meditation but also in everyday things. When I wake up in the morning, when I stand in the bathroom and brush my teeth or take a shower, or when driving, just noticing at any given moment: Is there awareness right now? Is there some receptivity to the experience that's going on right now? I found this receptive awareness is a subtle thing and can often be so simple that you miss it. For me, it was great being on this retreat. I was in the middle of a sort of rainforest with beautiful trees all covered with moss. Everything was green, and the birds were chirping. The things that I was aware of were beautiful and pleasant. I found that it was actually quite enjoyable when awareness was operating. I mentioned asking, "Am I aware right now? Or is there awareness operating right now?" It's kind of a simple suggestion or instruction, but it does a couple of things. Number one, I find that every time I ask the question, "Am I aware?" either I notice that yes, awareness is present right now, or awareness will arise just by asking the question. Last year I was having a conversation with Andrea about this, and she said awareness is not something that we make happen, but we can notice when it's arisen. By noticing when it's arisen and when it's not, it sort of strengthens it. So there's a strengthening that comes every time we ask ourselves this question: "Am I aware right now? Is there awareness?" This builds both a strengthening of awareness and a development of continuity of practice. This is most useful not just if you do it for half an hour a day while sitting on a cushion or a chair, but by noticing awareness throughout the day. In my morning routine of having breakfast, being aware while I eat, and not wandering off into planning about the rest of the day. Brushing my teeth, shaving, showering—there's really no time throughout the day that you can't ask yourself that question. ## Element Three: What Am I Aware Of? So then there's relaxing and asking yourself whether you're aware in that given moment. And then the third element is: _What am I aware of?_ What's the experience that's most prevalent right now? In that way, this practice differs somewhat from other types of practice where one usually chooses a particular object or experience to rest one's attention on. In some meditation techniques, you may stay with the breath. Or you may be doing loving-kindness meditation, and so you're staying with certain phrases. There are other techniques where you use a mantra, a repeated phrase, or in the Tibetan tradition, there are often types of imaging—bringing certain images to mind and holding certain images in mind. All of those are wonderful practices. This is just somewhat different. In this practice, you don't have to try to make yourself have some particular experience. It's just noticing what's the most obvious thing that's happening right now. What's in your experience? What's the most obvious thing that's happening? There's a saying that you can't see what you can't see. Trying to see some experience that isn't there for you in the moment isn't so helpful. One of the things that I liked about this retreat was that it felt like it gave me permission, and even encouragement, to be as honest with myself as possible as to what was going on. That includes having some pretty wild thoughts and impulses. I think at one point, I was just filled with hatred. Even though it's not said, oftentimes when that would happen to me on a retreat or in meditation, I'd go, "Well, that's not supposed to be happening. I need to somehow get rid of that experience. I need to switch and do something to eradicate that particular experience." But in this particular practice, and with these particular teachers, they really encourage you to just notice if that's what's going on. Pay attention. Notice what's going on and acknowledge it. Some of the images that came to me around that are like if you go to see a doctor. It doesn't help to tell the doctor about all of the parts of the body that are working well, or say, "Yeah, no, I'm healthy as a horse," if in fact there's something going on that needs attention. For the most part, I guess all of the doctors I've encountered don't usually start with, "That's terrible. You shouldn't be experiencing that." What they want to know is what's actually going on. Developing that sense of honesty and accuracy in noting what you're aware of is an important part of this practice. I just retired from being a scientist for 44 years. In science, for the most part, if you do an experiment, you want to be honest with what the result is. You don't want to just say, "Well, okay, I did the experiment and I got seven and a half, but I really thought it should be six, so I'm going to throw that out. I'm only going to pay attention to the experiment that gave me six." That's not good science, and I don't think that's good meditation practice either. The third element is really acknowledging and being curious about what you're actually experiencing, what you're actually aware of, and what's coming in through the sense doors. ## Element Four: How Am I Relating to This Experience? That leads to the fourth element of this practice, which is asking the question: _How am I relating to this experience?_ For those of you who have been around here a while, you've probably heard Diana talk about this Pali word called _vedanā_[^3]. It's the feeling tone of experience. Is something pleasant, is it unpleasant, or is it neither pleasant nor unpleasant? Is it neutral? The value of noting that characteristic of your experience is that quite often, there's a tendency when something is pleasant to want to try to grasp it, to try to hang on to it, to try to get more of it. Similarly, if something is unpleasant, there's a tendency to want to push it away. A sense of aversion or hatred can arise if that's the experience. Probably the most difficult one is when something is neither pleasant nor unpleasant. There's a tendency to ignore it. Ignorance takes place, or misperception, some lack of clarity, or some lack of acknowledgment that that experience is going on. So in this fourth element of "how are we relating to it," we can look at whether it is pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral, and from that, ask if there is some process in the mind associated with that. There are these three qualities called the _kilesas_[^4], and you may have heard Diana talk about them. The first of the _kilesas_ is greed or lust. It is that movement of the mind towards grasping, towards wanting more and more, and hanging on to sense experience that can't be clung to. The second _kilesa_ is often described as aversion or hatred. It's that pushing away, that rejecting of experience. And then the third _kilesa_ is delusion. It's that kind of misperceiving or ignoring that can take place. These three _kilesas_ are important to recognize because they stand between us and a greater sense of freedom. The instruction that I received, and that I've been practicing for the last several months now, is when I'm in a receptively aware state, I can ask: Are any of the _kilesas_ operating right now? Is there greed operating? Is there some wanting, some movement of the mind to go out and cling to something? Or, for me, maybe the strongest or most prevalent is aversion or hatred. So asking myself, is there aversion going on right now? And the same with delusion. Is there delusion? It can be helpful then, if you recognize one of those operating, to note it, to acknowledge it, to say, "Oh yeah, aversion feels like this. Aversion is like this. This is what aversion feels like." Or, "Greed feels like this. Greed is like this." Or, "Delusion feels like this. It's like this." Noting it doesn't necessarily end it. You can fall into the trap sometimes of thinking, "Okay, well now if I notice greed, it will disappear immediately." Some sort of transactional relationship with your mind. The way it was described to me, and that I'm seeing more and more, is that by noting the _kilesas_ arising over time, it doesn't lead to some mental process that lets them go, but it does feed wisdom. Wisdom is a process that goes on that isn't under our control. Wisdom develops by this continued practice of being aware. Over time, it's wisdom that lets go of actions that lead to the conditions that led to the arising of these _kilesas_. So it takes a certain level of trust or confidence that you don't have to understand all of the minute details of what's going on. It's enough to just be aware and recognize the _kilesas_ as they arise, and that over time, that will have an effect. ## Cultivating Trust and Continuity One of the other things that I learned from this retreat is it's probably best not to start with the most intense _kilesa_. [Laughter] Like, if you absolutely hate something, it might be stronger than your ability to be mindful of it. It might be better instead of starting at a ten, to start at a three, four, or five with something that just kind of annoys you, and see if you can look at that and watch that. Over time there'll be a strengthening of awareness and the ability to be with and experience stronger levels of aversion, greed, or delusion. Starting in the middle, and then over time building an ability to be with the stronger versions of the _kilesas_, and then also working down the other way. Noticing subtler and subtler ways in which the mind may either be grasping at or wanting some particular experience, or pushing away or disliking. For me, it's very much a work in progress. I can work pretty well in the range of three to six, working up and working down. This continuity of practice is important. Over time, as you do it, the trust and the confidence will then develop. When you first start, you might go, "Well, I don't know if I really believe this is going to work." I've been very fortunate in that I've had a longtime friendship with Andrea and other teachers. I kind of borrowed their confidence to begin with, and then as the practice has deepened, the trust and confidence have built. Cultivating an ability to be aware, to know what you're aware of, and to know how you're relating to it can then lead to a greater sense of stability, a greater sense of ease, a greater sense of openness, and being open to the whole of your experience. And a greater sense of freedom. I hope this is helpful to you. As always, I'd like to say, don't take my word for this. Try it out yourself. Really see how cultivating a receptive awareness and honesty can lead to a greater sense of freedom. I think I'll leave it at that. We still have some time if there are any questions or comments. As I said, I'm not the expert on this technique, but after spending two weeks with two highly practiced teachers, I've come away with a greater sense of confidence in it. Thank you. ## Questions and Answers **Question:** How is this practice very different from the mindfulness meditation that we learn here? You know, you take the introduction to mindfulness and then there's the six or seven weeks. How is it different, or is it the same or similar? I'm just curious. **Jim:** That's a great question. I found that in some ways, what the breath meditation can sometimes lead to is a sense of tightening or constriction. It's like, "I'm supposed to be staying with the breath, and the mind keeps going off." That disciplining of one's attention, at least for me, can sometimes lead to a sense of frustration. Whereas in this practice, I don't have to come back to the breath. All I need to do is ask: _Am I aware right now, and what am I aware of?_ What's most obvious? Starting with just paying attention to what's most obvious can, at least for me, feel more relaxing than having to keep coming to the breath and maybe sometimes having aversion coming up around the breath, or some self-judgment coming up about the breath. One thing that I didn't say about this fourth element—about how I am relating to this experience—is also noticing: _Am I identifying with it?_ Am I identifying with the experience that I have? Am I trying to make it "me" or "mine"? That's something that I'm not as aware of how I'm identifying with things when I do the breath meditation as when I do this. But it may be different for you. **Question:** I was thinking about greed, hatred, and delusion, and wondering about delusion. I'm not as clear on that one. I see greed and aversion all the time [Laughter] in my day-to-day life, mild and full spectrum. But with delusion, I'm wondering if the delusion I've noticed is when I notice patterns of thinking and beliefs that I have that aren't really serving me. Like the belief that I am what I accomplish, or that getting all my ducks in a row will make me ultimately happy. [Laughter] What are your thoughts on delusion? What is delusion for you? **Jim:** That's a great question, and I think you're on to something. One of the things that I noticed on this retreat is just how easily the mind goes into this activity that Carol called "concocting." Concocting stories. You have an experience, and then the mind starts concocting stories about it—this is what it means, or beliefs about it, or judgments. If awareness is strong enough, you can just notice, "Oh, okay, right now the mind is concocting. It's concocting stories, judgments, and things like that." And if you can catch it at that level, then it's just like, "Oh yeah, that's kind of what the mind does." I notice what's happening when I'm not aware, or when awareness isn't present, and at least some of the time it seems like one of these stories, one of these concoctions about my experience, can grow and grow and grow until it's a self-sustaining bubble. I can just get lost in that story, lost in that thought, lost in those plans. And then it's only every once in a while you just kind of snap out of it and notice, "Oh yeah, I was lost in this story." So yeah, I think that's one element of delusion, of just getting lost in all of these stories that our minds make up about our experience. Well, if there are no other questions or comments, thank you very much for coming this evening and I wish you a safe trip home. --- [^1]: **Sayadaw U Tejaniya:** Original transcript said 'Saiad Utania' or 'sidoia', corrected to 'Sayadaw U Tejaniya' based on context. Sayadaw U Tejaniya is a Burmese Theravada Buddhist monk and meditation teacher whose teachings focus heavily on continuous awareness and understanding the mind. [^2]: **Mahasi school:** Refers to the meditation method popularized by Mahasi Sayadaw, a Burmese Theravada Buddhist monk and meditation master who had a significant impact on the teaching of Vipassana (insight) meditation in the West. [^3]: **Vedanā:** A Pali word often translated as "feeling" or "sensation," referring to the pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral feeling tone of any experience. [^4]: **Kilesas:** Original transcript said 'clatas' / 'kalatia' / 'collatia' / 'calacas', corrected to '_kilesas_' based on context. _Kilesas_ (or _kleshas_ in Sanskrit) are mental states that cloud the mind and manifest in unwholesome actions. They are often referred to as defilements or afflictions, with the three main ones being greed, hatred, and delusion.