--- ai_generation_date: '2026-10-03' ai_model: gemini-3-pro-preview audiodharma: talks: - date: '2020-08-05' mp3_url: https://audiodharma.us-east-1.linodeobjects.com/talks/11829/20200805-Gil_Fronsdal-IMC-p_ram_s_3_of_10_renunciation.mp3 speakers: - speaker_name: Gil Fronsdal speaker_url: https://www.audiodharma.org/speakers/1 talk_start_time_seconds: 0 title: "P\u0101ram\u012Bs (3 of 10) Renunciation" url: https://www.audiodharma.org/talks/11829 video_unavailable: false location_city: Redwood City, CA video_unavailable: false youtube: id: PWa6YNXADRU imprecise_upload_date: '2021-05-04' title: 'Dharmette: Paramis (3 of 10) Renunciation' upload_date: null uploader_str: Insight Meditation Center uploader_url: https://www.youtube.com/@InsightMeditationCenter youtube_url: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PWa6YNXADRU --- # Pāramīs (3 of 10) Renunciation - [Gil Fronsdal](https://www.audiodharma.org/speakers/1) _This is an AI-generated transcript from auto-generated subtitles for the video above. It likely contains inaccuracies, especially with speaker attribution if there are multiple speakers._ ## [Pāramīs (3 of 10) Renunciation](https://www.audiodharma.org/talks/11829) So we continue on this topic of the _pāramīs_[^1], and in Sanskrit they're known as _pāramitās_. The Sanskrit-derived Mahayana Buddhist traditions have a somewhat different list; they have a list of six, which is quite famous, and ten. The Theravada tradition that we're part of has this list of ten that I'm teaching from, and the third one is usually translated into English as renunciation. There's a rumor that the topic of renunciation is not a very popular topic for Western Dharma teachers to teach about, and that is a bit of a pity because I think it's really a fantastic and wonderful virtue, a quality to have the ability for renunciation. Maybe one of the reasons why some people hesitate to teach it, and why some people are even frightened and off-put by the concept of renunciation, is that it has a lot of negative connotations of letting go of things that we maybe shouldn't let go of. That somehow in letting go, we are becoming less of a person, or we're letting go of things which are valuable parts of life, or things that we're attached to. I think the word renunciation has a religious origin. I think it literally means "to announce again," I believe, and I think it comes from monastic life, of someone who makes a public or formal announcement that they are now entering into the religious life as a monastic, perhaps. In that sense, it's almost a sacred act. The similar word "sacrifice" sometimes means painfully giving up something that we don't want to give up, and again implies a kind of diminishment or that it's unfortunate to have to sacrifice something. But the original meaning, apparently, of the word in Latin was "to make sacred," and here we have this religious connotation. So the same thing in the Pali, in the Buddhist word _nekkhamma_[^2], translated as renunciation, it has a very positive association. In my reading of the ancient texts of the Buddha, it has more to do with what is gained than what is lost. Certainly, it is a letting go of something and it's a shift, but it's also a stepping: when you step into something, you step away from something else. A little story I like to tell for renunciation and what we gain in the process is that if you go to a winter cabin and get snowed in for the winter, and you're with all your extended family and it's a one-room cabin, probably by the end of the winter, being all cooped up, when the snow is melted enough to open the door, stepping out into the open air, the mountain air, the extensive pastures that might be there where the snow is melted—it's just a delight and a wonderful thing to go forth out of the cabin. So the word _nekkhamma_, one of the etymological understandings of it is that it means "to go forth" in that kind of way. To leave the dusty confines of a life which is somehow similarly confined, maybe to being locked up in a cabin in the winter. So the idea is that it's a movement towards something beautiful, an opening and freedom, and this is a strong association with the idea of renunciation. If we associate it with letting go, it's what I said earlier: it has to do also with what we let go into. We don't just let go of our clinging, our attachments, our resistance because they're painful. We can also let go because those painful movements of the mind and heart keep us from what is sacred. They keep us from what is best in us; keep us from peace, happiness, well-being, groundedness, sensitivity, compassion. It keeps us from these beautiful qualities, keeps us from the other _pāramīs_—these ten virtues. And so renunciation, I feel, is more like something to be really deeply appreciated and valued. When you think inside, "Should I renounce something?" and something says it's to be let go of now, if you feel like it makes you less than or it's a drag to let go, then it's probably not so wise to let go, or be careful what you're doing. The renunciation we're talking about in Buddhism should also make us happy. There should be some degree of joy, or opening, or feeling of satisfaction or rightness in what we're letting go of. Certainly, sometimes we have to let go of things that we want, and even things that are valuable, for the sake of other people. For the sake of our children if we have kids, or parents, or neighbors who are sick. I wouldn't say that we're jumping with joy when we let go of our plans for the day in order to take a sick neighbor to the emergency room. But hopefully, it has a deep feeling of rightness. If we let go and we're resentful, or deeply discouraged, or depressed by what we've done, that's very unfortunate. There's a great opportunity in the letting go if we can let go well, and really understand why we're doing it, and how we're letting go into what's really best for oneself and for others. So we let go of our plans for the day, maybe unfortunately so, but it feels like everything is better. I don't know if that's exactly the right word, but it just feels so right to take our neighbor to the ER and sit there with them and care for them, and of course, that's the right place to be. So this idea of renunciation as the third _pāramī_ follows the first two. First is generosity, which is a kind of giving, a giving of something. It is a kind of renunciation, but it's renunciation that's not obligatory; it's done from an inspiration of generosity. To feel how sometimes letting go of something as a gift is profoundly beneficial—here we're beginning to learn the value of letting go, of giving up something. Then the same thing is true with the restraint involved in _sīla_[^3]—living a life of ethical conduct, behaving in ways that are ethical or wise, and that don't cause harm. This is also not meant to be something which is a drag, but rather something that frees our integrity and provides a certain kind of freedom. The Buddha talked about the bliss or the happiness of _sīla_, the happiness of living an ethical life. And to start feeling that restraint, because _sīla_ is a kind of restraint—restraining ourselves from killing, lying, sexual misconduct, stealing, and intoxication—is not just losing something; it's gaining something in the process. So we are ready and prepared for renunciation being a continuation of that. But now we're talking about something which is not just behavior—the behavior of generosity, the behavior of restraint, of how we act with our bodies and mouths. Now we're talking about beginning to go inward, and talking about renunciation of things that the mind and heart are holding onto, things that the mind and heart are doing and valuing. It's a deeper movement of letting go in the mind and heart itself, and with that can come joy. It can be something really wonderful: the joy of renunciation, the joy of letting go. Without some letting go of something, there is no Buddhist path. Some people resist that or are even angry that we have to do that. But almost any endeavor that we're serious about doing in our life involves letting go of something else which is also good. If we decide to get an education in something, or we want to do something of service for the world, then it might take all our efforts for a while. We have to let go of many other things that we're doing, that we don't have time to do now when we're engaged in this educational project. For someone who decides to be a parent, there's a lot of letting go in being a parent. In fact, if a parent doesn't learn to let go, they're probably in trouble. Hopefully, a parent can learn to let go, especially in the early years of raising young kids. If they don't learn how to let go in a way that's graceful and brings joy, it sometimes is not very pretty—the frustration and the anger that can come. We're asked in certain situations to let go. What we're doing, the course we're taking, really requires a lot of us and we have to let go a lot. I don't know if it's the best example, but like an Olympic athlete, or an athlete that doesn't have to be Olympic who just gives themselves all out to what they're doing. The other day I was hiking up in the mountains here, in the middle of the summer, and there was a high school track team out running. It was beautiful to watch these young high school students running in the mountains like deer. There was a joy and delight in the running that I felt there, but they were doing that instead of other things. It's the same thing with the Buddhist path and Buddhist practice. It's very valuable, and some people feel really committed to it, and it does require some letting go of other good things. Even just to meditate every day, or to go on retreat, or to really make it a central focal point of one's life. The degree of renunciation that people do in order to really follow the path of freedom and liberation varies from person to person by their circumstance, their interests, their intentionality, and their vision of what's possible. Each of those is valuable, but it does require some renunciation, some decision that "I'm going to do this and not something else." I've seen some people who don't understand that and try to do everything, trying to squeeze in meditation and Buddhist practice as if they can have their cake and eat it too. As if they can have everything and add enlightenment right on top of it, the path to freedom, or Buddhism. I think that to enter the Buddhist path wisely and beneficially requires some degree of renunciation, of careful reflection and wise consideration, hopefully with the realization that this is actually important. That it's not a diminishment; it's a letting go of other things and letting go into one of the most beautiful, profound, and meaningful things a person can do—the path of liberation. That's what the Buddha did. The classic understanding of these ten _pāramīs_ is that these are the things the Buddha cultivated for many lifetimes to prepare himself to become a Buddha. They are foundational, and in that kind of mythology, it applies to us as well. There is a time and place to become wise, appreciate deeply, and feel the benefits and even the happiness of renunciation. You might spend the next 24 hours on this topic of letting go and giving up. Generosity is giving; renunciation is maybe doing something sacred. What are the best possibilities that you know of in renunciation and letting go? What do you gain in the process? How do you benefit? How does the world benefit from your renunciation, your giving up? Why don't you reflect on that? Think about where you've already done beneficial giving up and renunciation, what you've learned from that, and how this applies to following this Buddhist path and meditation path in a way that benefits you. Talk to friends, read about it. Spend the next 24 hours building this momentum through the _pāramīs_ we're doing over these 10 days, and spend time with renunciation. So, thank you, and I look forward to our topic tomorrow. --- [^1]: **Pāramī:** A Pali word often translated as "perfection" or "virtue." In Theravada Buddhism, it refers to ten noble qualities cultivated on the path to awakening. (Original transcript misheard this term in various places as 'pyramids', 'parameters', or 'party'). [^2]: **Nekkhamma:** A Pali word translated as "renunciation," "letting go," or "going forth." It conveys a positive movement toward freedom rather than a sense of deprivation. (Original transcript said 'nakama'). [^3]: **Sīla:** A Pali word translated as "virtue," "moral conduct," or "ethical restraint." (Original transcript said 'selah' and 'seela').