--- ai_generation_date: '2026-09-14' ai_model: gemini-3-pro-preview audiodharma: talks: - date: '2020-07-19' mp3_url: https://audiodharma.us-east-1.linodeobjects.com/talks/11732/20200719-Gil_Fronsdal-IMC-be_see_free_we_9_of_10_strength_and_confidence.mp3 speakers: - speaker_name: Gil Fronsdal speaker_url: https://www.audiodharma.org/speakers/1 talk_start_time_seconds: 0 title: Be, See, Free, We (9 of 10) Strength and Confidence url: https://www.audiodharma.org/talks/11732 video_unavailable: false location_city: Redwood City, CA video_unavailable: false youtube: id: ac80L4q0ql4 imprecise_upload_date: '2021-05-04' title: 'Dharmette: Be, See, Free, We (9 of 10) Strength and Confidence' upload_date: null uploader_str: Insight Meditation Center uploader_url: https://www.youtube.com/@InsightMeditationCenter youtube_url: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ac80L4q0ql4 --- # Be, See, Free, We (9 of 10) Strength and Confidence - [Gil Fronsdal](https://www.audiodharma.org/speakers/1) _This is an AI-generated transcript from auto-generated subtitles for the video above. It likely contains inaccuracies, especially with speaker attribution if there are multiple speakers._ ## [Be, See, Free, We (9 of 10) Strength and Confidence](https://www.audiodharma.org/talks/11732) What many of you cannot see on these screens is that I'm sitting on what we call a teaching platform here at IMC[^1]. This teaching platform is maybe 14 inches off the ground and made from wood, with four wooden legs. This teaching platform was built by a man named Jim, who has now passed away. He was part of our community for many years. One of his gifts to me and to people in our community was that he stuttered. The way it was a gift was that when he talked, periodically he would start stuttering and he would stop in the most relaxed and open way, as if there was no problem whatsoever. As if there was nothing wrong happening, and we all learned that there was nothing wrong happening. There was not a problem; it was just his way of being in the world, his way of talking. We would all just wait—or I don't know if "wait" is even the right word, we would just allow for it. We would stay silent, and then at some point he would complete the sentence. His gift was that he seemed very relaxed and unapologetic. There wasn't anything that needed to be talked about or explained. He was a very confident man—confident in himself, peaceful in himself, assured in himself—and he stuttered. This idea of allowing ourselves to be who we are, with all the different ways that we are, suggests that many of the ways in which people get self-conscious, feel apologetic, or feel like there's somehow something wrong with them, maybe aren't necessary. One of the signs I've seen over the years of people who become mature in Buddhist practice is that they have things that are a little bit unusual, unique to them, that in some places might be called problems. But whatever this quality or aspect of who they are is, they seem to have a remarkable okay-ness with it, a remarkable ease with how they are. You get a sense it's kind of a gift to be around people for whom, if you had that condition, you would feel self-conscious and trip over yourself. But to be with someone who doesn't seem to be self-conscious and seems to be at ease—that's the kind of strength that I want to refer to today. It's not necessarily a strength that looks powerful, but it's a strength that allows us to be ourselves without apology, without comparing ourselves to others, without diminishing ourselves in any way, without limiting ourselves. There are many ways in which we limit ourselves. I think a nice example to give is if someone has practiced a musical instrument for a long time and finally has a chance to perform their music in front of other people. Maybe it's a solo piece, and it's exquisite. When the person is really absorbed in the music, the audience disappears. The room they're in disappears, leaving just the music and them playing the music. It's so exquisite to feel that, and the person feels some kind of freedom when they play this way. So much of the world disappears in such a beautiful, wonderful way. And then somehow, in the middle of their music, someone tells them that their fly is down: "Hey, by the way, your fly is down." Now the person is self-conscious, and they're concerned about what people think of them. They need to be the musician who's well-dressed and takes care of themselves. All these ideas of self come into play, and now it's hard to be absorbed in the music. These ideas of self have constricted, limited, or tripped up this absorption, this beautiful ability to play music. I don't know if that's the best example, but there are lots of examples you can come up with of people who are doing something and there's a freedom in it, and as soon as they start getting self-conscious, trying to define themselves, or trying to prove that they are a certain kind of person, they become limited. I did that when I was in college. To my surprise, I started doing art in college. I like to say I was tricked into it, but I started doing art and drawing. I started taking art classes, drawing classes, and a painting class, and I really enjoyed it a lot. Then one day—I remember very well—I was riding my bicycle and I said, "Oh, I'm an artist." I defined myself as an artist in a way I hadn't before when I just _did_ art. Amazingly enough, the day I decided I was an artist was the day I stopped doing art. There was something about doing art for the purpose of _being_ an artist, for the sake of the identity, which was coming from a very different place within than just doing it as a nice expression of who I was. And so this identity of an artist, for me—not saying it's going to be this way for other people, but for me—was limiting. It kind of tripped me up. In Buddhism, we put a lot of emphasis on not-self. But the emphasis on not-self is not meant to diminish ourselves, but to allow us to play the music. It allows us to express ourselves without the limitations of definition—when the definitions limit us. It doesn't have to mean holding on to some particular aspect and saying, "This is who I really am," in a way that is limiting. To have this welling up from the inside of our strength, our confidence, to come from a place of power, is one of the things that Buddhist practice is cultivating and developing. For some people, being strong and being powerful in themselves is frightening. It feels like, "If I stand up, if I somehow make myself known and am strong, I'll be batted down." Maybe sometimes they have been batted down; people do terrible things to each other. Or they are afraid of hurting people: "If I'm strong and confident, I might hurt someone, and I can't do that." And certainly, people do hurt each other. But meditation practice can be a place where we allow our strength and power to be there, but not in a way that's egotistical and self-centered. It can be there in a way that's actually very peaceful. Like my friend Jim who stuttered, he had a certain strength, a power of just being alive, pausing as he stuttered. It was an ease and relaxation that was also a strength. Now that I'm getting older, I look back at my life and see my body changing in a variety of ways. My body is weaker than it used to be, and I remember how I was decades ago. I was stronger in some ways, and I didn't know it back then. It was just part of who I was, and I was unself-conscious about it. But there was physical strength that I don't have now, and I didn't recognize it because it's just part of the territory. We all have strength. You wouldn't be alive if there wasn't some energy coursing through you, some aliveness coursing through you that was holding you up, allowing you to breathe, allowing you to just be as you are. Always. I am confident that as we get older and weaker and sicker and all kinds of things happen, there is a strength that can still exist there: the Dharma[^2] strength. Part of what we're cultivating in the Dharma is inner strength, inner confidence, and inner assurance to carry us and let us be. This allows us to really look deeply into this world. When we have insight into the inconstancy of experience, its changing nature, it's a whole different game to experience change and impermanence with stability, strength, and confidence. It's a whole different thing if we encounter our suffering and we have a sense of well-being, assurance, or confidence. And it's a whole different context for understanding the Buddha's teachings of not-self. It's not really just an issue of understanding; we have insight, a deep penetrating perception of not-self. If that perception is buoyed or supported by confidence, strength, a kind of inner power, ease, and assurance, then we're not batted around by the idea of not-self. It doesn't feel like a diminishment to understand not-self. The self that Buddhism talks about—that particular way Buddhists understand self—is a self that limits us. It's conceit that limits us; it's selfishness that limits us. We want to have the strength to break through that, to let the old skin of the snake, of the nāga[^3], fall away. Finally, I'll end with the word _nāga_. In Pali, it can mean a serpent, but it also can mean an elephant. The elephant is supposed to be a very big, strong animal in the forest, in the jungles. There is this idea that the person without attachment becomes like an elephant. It's not always clear whether in these stories it's a serpent, an elephant, or some mythic being, but it's certainly something that's powerful. Imagine that a very big fly lands on an ant. That's a really big deal for the ant. It's heavy for the ant. The ant certainly notices that something bigger than itself is riding on its back; it's a problem. The same fly lands on the back of an elephant. It's no big deal for the elephant. Maybe the elephant recognizes the fly is there, but the elephant doesn't care. Do you want to go through the world as an ant, or do you want to go through the world as an elephant? One of the things that mindfulness is cultivating for us as we really open up and recognize what's here is allowing for this confidence and strength to be here. Confidence in the Dharma, confidence in the practice, confidence in our ability to practice, confidence in the value and importance of freedom, confidence that being attached and caught in self is not useful. As we develop this confidence, in a sense, we become like an elephant. We still have flies that are buzzing around. We still have our fears, our concerns, our selfishness, and all these things, and maybe we stutter, but it's not a big deal. We have learned how to be free of it. There is a saying in Buddhism, or a custom, to refer to practitioners that practice together in Sangha[^4] as _nāgas_, serpents, and dragons. I don't know if you like to be referred to that way. If you don't like it, don't listen! But dear serpents and dragons, may your strength and power support you as you sit and meditate. As you live this day—maybe this last day of the retreat for those of you on the retreat—may it really be a day where we feel reassured in some very strong, stable way. Reassured that just to be alive is enough. Thank you. ## Announcements For those of you on YouTube, I'm looking here because that's where the YouTube screen is, so maybe it's a little bit confusing. I started a retreat on Thursday evening, and I folded in the 7:00 AM talks with the retreat. The theme that I chose this week was tied into the retreat itself. For those of you who would like to come again—some of you have already, but if you haven't—if you want to come to the final Dharma talk for the retreat, which will be on the teaching of not-self, it will be this afternoon at 2:30. The last few days it was at 4:00, but it will be at 2:30. It's part of the 10-part series that I'm doing this week as part of the 7:00 AM sittings, and they'll probably be packaged together at some point as a set. They have the title _Be, See, Free, We_, and you can always listen to them or watch them on YouTube later. Thank you. Someone put up music notes and piano notes on the chat, very nice. I wish you well today. Oh, the other thing is that I'm taking a little vacation this coming week. For the morning sitting, one of the great teachers here at IMC, Diana Clark, will fill in for me. She has a nice plan for the week, and I think you'll be in good hands and you'll enjoy it. I'll be back the following week. Thank you. --- [^1]: **IMC:** Insight Meditation Center, a Buddhist meditation center in Redwood City, California. [^2]: **Dharma:** A Sanskrit term (Dhamma in Pali) that refers to the teachings of the Buddha, the truth of how things are, or the path of practice. [^3]: **Nāga:** A term in Pali and Sanskrit that can refer to a mythic serpent or dragon, or a great elephant. It is often used as a metaphor for spiritual power and the strength of an enlightened being. Original transcript said "nepali," corrected to "Pali" based on context. [^4]: **Sangha:** The Buddhist community of monks, nuns, novices, and laity. In a broader sense, it refers to the community of practitioners.