--- ai_generation_date: '2026-09-02' ai_model: gemini-3-pro-preview audiodharma: talks: - date: '2020-10-05' mp3_url: https://audiodharma.us-east-1.linodeobjects.com/talks/12205/20201005-Nikki_Mirghafori-IMC-happy_hour_pillars_of_joy_2_8_humility.mp3 speakers: - speaker_name: Nikki Mirghafori speaker_url: https://www.audiodharma.org/speakers/229 talk_start_time_seconds: 0 title: 'Happy Hour: Pillars of Joy (2/8) - Humility' url: https://www.audiodharma.org/talks/12205 video_unavailable: false location_city: Redwood City, CA video_unavailable: false youtube: id: k-uJId_QfzQ imprecise_upload_date: '2021-05-04' title: 'Happy Hour: Pillars of Joy (2/8)-- Humility' upload_date: null uploader_str: Insight Meditation Center uploader_url: https://www.youtube.com/@InsightMeditationCenter youtube_url: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-uJId_QfzQ --- # Happy Hour: Pillars of Joy (2/8) - Humility - [Nikki Mirghafori](https://www.audiodharma.org/speakers/229) _This is an AI-generated transcript from auto-generated subtitles for the video above. It likely contains inaccuracies, especially with speaker attribution if there are multiple speakers._ ## [Happy Hour: Pillars of Joy (2/8) - Humility](https://www.audiodharma.org/talks/12205) ## Introduction Welcome everyone, welcome to Happy Hour. For our practice today, let's continue the theme of exploring the eight pillars of joy. This is inspired by the book that I talked about last week and a couple of weeks ago. It's the book called _The Book of Joy_ by the Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu, and there are lots of lovely teachings in there. As we go through the eight pillars of joy, you'll see that it's all familiar teachings. It's a nice list that puts them together. We spent three sessions with perspective. Perspective is so juicy that we can spend a lot of time on it—how you see the world, how you see yourself in it, how you see yourself with respect to others, your challenges, your gifts, all of that. Another word for it, perhaps, is a wise perspective or right view, which many of you would recognize as the first step of the Noble Eightfold Path. That is so important; it's number one, the way we see things. Last time we already started to bring in the second pillar a little bit: humility. I'd like to invite us to reflect for a moment: why would you think humility is important to be happy? Just reflect in yourself on how a sense of humility shows up, or actually, how a lack of humility shows up. If anyone wants to share something, you're welcome to raise your blue hand. In the meanwhile, I'll just continue sharing my reflections and some ways to work with humility. One way to see this factor of humility is from the perspective of interdependence. From a bird's-eye view, we can see how intertwined and interdependent all of our lives are, and that we really can't do this on our own. It can bring up a sense of profound humility when we realize how dependent everything is. Our livelihood, what we eat, what we wear—how profoundly we are interdependent on each other. That just brings up a sense of humility. I'm going to invite you to do that during the meditation, but even before we start, just bring something into your mind and see how dependent it is on others. Maybe just something you use, simply like my mug here. Wow, how many things have gone into this mug being produced and making it here for me to drink out of? There is a sense of humility. It can also feel like a sense of overwhelm, seeing how many contributions it has taken for something to come to us. That is also referred to as interbeing[^1] by Thich Nhat Hanh[^2]. There's a sense of interbeing, that everything is interdependent on other things. We will tap into that sense of humility in the guided meditation tonight. Another way to perhaps reflect on humility is to realize that everything we have in our lives—including our life, our gifts, our intelligence, our relationships, what we're grateful for—is really a gift of grace. We live interdependently through a gift of grace. It's staggering to think of all that we've received in our lives, all the experiences, education, whatever it might have been. When you consider so much that you have been given, and that each of us has been given so much to actually get to this point... Of course, we've all had challenges in our lives, yes. It's part of the human condition, absolutely. And yet we all have so many gifts, including right here, being able to receive the dharma[^3]. Being right here, able to show up in this Zoom room or listening later through AudioDharma. There is a gift of grace in the technology that has developed. It's appreciating with a sense of humility this interdependence of all human beings, this web of interconnection, including the World Wide Web. Here we are. It is a sense of grace, a sense of this gift that all these human beings have worked on for so long in different ways. And also seeing our part in this whole, seeing that we have a gift to share. Feeling the sense of humility and letting that lead to a sense of abundance and generosity. Those are some invitations that we'll work with for this practice. Without further ado, I'd like to ask you to get into your meditation posture. ## Guided Meditation If you need to move, if you need to sit up straighter as I need to, or if you need to lie down, move and shift your posture so that you're comfortable. Find the right posture for you. As always, we're going to start with landing and arriving in the body with the breath before turning our minds to explore the invitations. So arriving. Arriving in this body, this moment. Letting go. Letting go of all the words that just came before, all the ideas. Landing. Landing deeply in your body. Landing in your bones. Feeling your bottom on the cushion, the touch points, and relaxing. Letting the center of gravity come down, come down, come down from your head, into your chest, down into your sit bones. Receiving the breath in your abdomen, and with each breath relaxing the forehead, the jaw, the eyes, the neck. Let your shoulders drop. Your arms, the hands—let them be heavy. Your chest, relaxing it at the out-breath in the abdomen. Receiving the breath. The entire upper body relaxed and soft. Now inviting the sit bones, the groin area, the upper legs, the knees, the lower legs, and feet to all relax. Feel heavy, let go of their weight. Receiving the breath in the whole body and relaxing. Just settling right here, right now. And if thoughts are arising—plans, memories—it's okay. It's part of this practice; that's what minds do. Check in to see if any tension has crept into your body: your forehead, jaw, or other areas. Usually, when we go off thinking, the body gets tense. Relax the body again. Invite awareness back without any judgment. No problem. You might have to do this many, many times. Do it every time smilingly. Let yourself take delight and joy in the simplicity of the breath moving through the body. Each breath simple, calming, soothing, settling. Now I'd like to invite you, if you wish, as you're staying with the body and with the breath, to bring to mind someone in your life who has inspired you with their humility. How do they embody it? They're not full of themselves or proud. It's a sense of gentleness of spirit. There's a sense of confidence in them, perhaps making the humility even more tangible. Notice what it is about them. As you feel into their presence, how do they inspire you? This person you've known, or currently know, who has gifts but is not conceited. If you're having trouble coming up with someone, maybe consider the Dalai Lama or Desmond Tutu, both of whom show up in the world with a lot of humility. These human beings are not conceited. The Dalai Lama says, "I'm just a simple monk, one of seven billion people." And Desmond Tutu is well known for admitting his challenges in life. Whomever you can, bring them to your heart, to your mind's eye. And now I'd like to invite you, staying with your body and staying with the breath, to bring to mind some of the gifts that you've been given in this life. The gifts that your family, your upbringing, your parents gave you: the gift of life, upbringing, education, nourishment, food. Not to give into the challenges—we all have had challenges of different sorts—but choosing the perspective to tune into the gifts. Whatever it might have been. Maybe friends, colleagues, opportunities to travel, good health, or people who have been a significant gift in your life and continue to be. The invitation is to see yourself in this complex, interrelated web of humanity. You are not alone. You are deeply interconnected. You have been all your life, in every way. Everything you've received, every morsel of food you have received, has been possible because of so many beings, so many causes and conditions. The sun, the earth, the water. The farmer, the transporter, the person who packaged it, the people who designed the delivery systems, the roads, the railroads. So many beings, so much has impacted every single gift in your life. Perhaps choosing something, maybe something you're wearing, and considering all the causes and conditions that have gone into this being on your body right now. Breathing, staying in the body as you contemplate. Imagining all the beings, known and unknown in the world, who have had a part in what you're wearing. It can seem overwhelming. If it's too overwhelming, let go. Come back to the breath and the body breathing, and open up to appreciation. Appreciation for all these beings. Those who you don't know who have impacted you with their work, with their actions. People you have known throughout time: your teachers, parents, friends, neighbors. Appreciating the people especially whom you're connected to, who bring joy, delight, friendship, and love into your life. Feeling deeply your sense of interconnection. As you breathe, let your body be relaxed as you feel your heart deeply connected in this web, allowing there to be a sense of appreciation. Wow, you're a human being, part of this amazing human family. Yes, it has a lot of challenges, we know, but it also has so much beauty, grace, kindness, generosity, and love. You're part of this, uniquely you. Your heart open to the appreciation of all that you've received, all you're receiving. Give joy, delight, and appreciation for this realization. If at any point it feels overwhelming, just come back to the breath and the body breathing, maybe with a sense of leftover appreciation for the abundance and your part in the interconnection. As I sit here towards the end of this practice period and I hear this little child outside, I'm just reminded of how every single one of us was a child at some point. We received care and nutrition to make it to this point. We've all made it to be adults. A sense of humility for all that we've received, even if there were challenges. Just the humility that we received enough support as a child. As a human child, we couldn't possibly make it on our own. We're not designed to; we're so dependent. That sense of grace, appreciation, humility, and the interconnection with all the children who have come before us. All humans are at some point children. All of us, of our mother's womb. This humility and appreciation for this interconnected way. We can't do it alone. None of us. In the last moment of this practice, have humility with respect to the outcome. We tried, we showed up, we practiced. Offering up and putting our best effort with humility on the altar, the universal altar. Here we are, we showed up. Our best offering, which is beautiful. Even if you judge it to be distracted, it's beautiful, shining just as it was. May we accept and appreciate our own gifts, our own abundance, our own prodigious gifts that we take for granted, with humility. Thank you all for your practice. ## Reflections I will change the settings if any of you would like to share any reflections either in chat with everyone, or unmute yourself. There's a sense of lightness when I think about a sense of humility. There's a lightness about it that kind of empties the vessel, empties the heart for joy. If we're too full of ourselves, it feels like we're taking on too much on our shoulders. There isn't enough place, enough space for this lightness of recognizing our interconnection, our place in the human family, which is a gift and a challenge, of course. But in so many ways, it's grace. From a particular perspective, it's unfathomably beautiful and bright. I'd like to share any reflections or questions that are coming up for you. Nancy offers: _"This meditation took me through so many periods of my life. Happy but active mind."_ Thank you, Nancy, for that reflection. It was a bit more active, I think, this invitation, because there were a lot of invitations that I was making about imagining people and interconnection. So it's quite normal for it to have been a more active mind. If that was the case for you, welcome to the club, and thanks for sharing that, Nancy. I'll take one more pause for any reflections or questions before we move into the next part of our practice and community. Ben says, _"Wonderful, thank you."_ You're very welcome, Ben. Bill says: _"Trying to find a balance between listening and yet not being overly analytical."_ Great. The invitation I have there for you, Bill—and this is for everyone for this practice and all the practices where I'm inviting reflections to drop in—is to stay with the breath and the body when we get kind of heady. The first part, we calm ourselves, we get in the body with the breath, and then I'm afraid when I give the reflection, we go up to the head and start thinking. Stay in the body, and even if you miss hearing a few things I say, that's fine. Stay with the body and the breath, and drop these reflections in the body. See what comes up, what percolates, what resonates. Don't think about it. I'm glad you're doing that. Fantastic, then you're doing it right! That will guide you and support all of you with these, otherwise it can feel overwhelming. Casey offers: _"Really beautiful guided meditation. The first part I really resonated with and liked, and the second part I felt sad."_ That's okay, that can arise. See what's arising, what's coming there, and whether you can actually be with that with compassion. It's not a problem for sadness to arise during meditation, even if the title of it is Joy and Humility. It's fine. A lot of times I tend to say at the beginning, if I remember, that whatever invitations I give, your mileage might vary. Different things might come up for you. As long as you turn towards it with kindness and hold it with compassion, it is part of this practice. See what needs care, what needs love. It might be self-care; it might be self-compassion in this case, Casey. Ariana says: _"I really appreciated the meditation and the humility of being a totally dependent child."_ Claire says: _"Reminded of people who taught me humility."_ Yes, thank you, Claire. Me too. Kim says: _"I appreciate how you allowed the child's voice to come in the practice."_ You're welcome. It delighted me to hear the child first playing and then crying, just all the states of being a child. We've all been there, every single one of us. It's part of being human. With a sense of humility, all there is is still a little child inside. Especially when challenges come up in practice, really hold that young one. Especially when there have been challenges in family upbringing, to turn towards that. Dear ones, with that sense of gentleness and humility, I'd like to invite you—this is the invitation for the practice meetings tonight—to show up as the child. When you look at the other people in the room, look as if you're looking at their five-year-old versions, or two-year-olds. Remember the sound that you were hearing through the mic, and show up the same way yourself with the same sense of humility. Yes, you're accomplished, you're an adult, and yet, show up with the tenderness and simplicity of a child. When children show up and play together in the schoolyard, there's a simplicity, there's a beauty. See if you can connect to these other lovely beings. Everyone who shows up here is lovely. Trust that there's a sense of acceptance, care, and mettā[^4]. Show up in that way, holding yourself with humility and holding these young people. You don't have to put your social face on, just have a sense of tenderness and get to know these other children. That's the invitation. You can say as much or as little as you want in this practice, but hold space for your inner children with care. Really be gentle with each other, and be gentle and kind to yourself. As you're speaking, slow down. Actually, yes, that's another instruction that I want to give tonight: slow down. See what happens if you slow down. I'm going to create the rooms, and please stay if you can to hang out with other children. And if you can't, if you have to go, that's perfectly understood, no judgments. I'm creating the breakout rooms right now just so you know, and I am about to open them. Here we go. ## Q&A and Post-Breakout Reflections Welcome back, everyone. We just have a couple of minutes for any reflections, questions, or comments. What was that like for you? What was it like to connect in this way? **Neil:** I'm wondering if you could explain the connection between the first part of the meditation, where we focused on a person who shows great humility, and the second part. I connected to both of them, but they did not connect together in my mind. **Nikki:** There were two different ways to relate to humility. One is from the perspective of feeling it in the body. I could have probably done it as two different sessions altogether. One session where you feel into the feeling of someone that you've known—what is it about them that inspires you to humility? That's one way to relate to it. Then another way to relate to it is in the sense of interconnection. There are just different ways to relate to it, and the feeling is that we want to have lots of different ways available, different tools in the tool bag. They're not supposed to be connected to each other; they're kind of slightly separate ways. Thanks for bringing that up. **Claire:** I really appreciated the opportunity to think back to the people I've known who demonstrated a lot of humility, because I learned so much from such very special people. Several have passed away, and you don't stop and think about them every day. It was a nice opportunity to reflect on the relationship. **Nikki:** Thank you, Claire. I felt the same way myself, actually. As I was bringing the invitations, I thought about a few professors I knew who were very accomplished. One of them was the equivalent of a Nobel Prize winner, and this human being was just so not conceited or full of themselves at all. It so touched me and impacted me so much to witness that, to see how that can show up. Anybody else? Oh, actually, I see it's 7:01. Wow, time flies when you're discussing humility. I am so curious, I'd love to know what it felt like to relate to each other as children. What did that feel like, if you haven't spoken yet? **Participant:** I was surprised that I found myself very excited, like a kid is to see someone. You just kind of let go of the fear that you learned. **Nikki:** Sweet, I love hearing that. Thanks so much for sharing that. I'm seeing some other people nodding their heads—a sense of excitement and very sweet. Ben says, _"One of our group had a pet in the frame. Pets are so real and sincere like kids."_ Yeah, that sense of enthusiasm, realness, and sincerity, like kids. Can we take down that mask that says, "I'm an adult, I don't want to show up"? Lovely. Thank you for sharing that. It makes me really happy to hear that. Dear ones, thank you for showing up and practicing, all of us together, and supporting each other. Supporting yourselves and all those whose lives you touch directly and indirectly. May all beings be happy and joyful in every way, and that includes ourselves. Take care, everyone. Be well. --- [^1]: **Interbeing:** A term coined by Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh to describe the deep interconnectedness of all things; the idea that nothing exists independently, but only in relation to everything else. [^2]: **Thich Nhat Hanh:** A globally recognized Vietnamese Thiền Buddhist monk, peace activist, prolific author, and poet, known as the "father of mindfulness." Note: The original transcript phoneticized his name as "take not han." [^3]: **Dharma:** In Buddhism, this generally refers to the teachings of the Buddha or the cosmic law and order. [^4]: **Mettā:** A Pali word meaning loving-kindness, friendliness, or goodwill. It is one of the four "brahmavihāras" (divine abodes) in Buddhism.