--- ai_generation_date: '2026-08-31' ai_model: gemini-3-pro-preview audiodharma: talks: - date: '2021-03-24' mp3_url: https://audiodharma.us-east-1.linodeobjects.com/talks/13188/20210324-Nikki_Mirghafori-IMC-happy_hour_loving_perception.mp3 speakers: - speaker_name: Nikki Mirghafori speaker_url: https://www.audiodharma.org/speakers/229 talk_start_time_seconds: 0 title: 'Happy Hour: Loving Perception' url: https://www.audiodharma.org/talks/13188 video_unavailable: false location_city: Redwood City, CA video_unavailable: false youtube: id: l7H8Xf3qWWg imprecise_upload_date: '2021-05-04' title: 'Happy Hour: Loving Perception' upload_date: null uploader_str: Insight Meditation Center uploader_url: https://www.youtube.com/@InsightMeditationCenter youtube_url: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l7H8Xf3qWWg --- # Happy Hour: Loving Perception - [Nikki Mirghafori](https://www.audiodharma.org/speakers/229) _This is an AI-generated transcript from auto-generated subtitles for the video above. It likely contains inaccuracies, especially with speaker attribution if there are multiple speakers._ ## [Happy Hour: Loving Perception](https://www.audiodharma.org/talks/13188) ## Introduction Okay, great. So, hello everyone. Hello and welcome. A warm welcome to Happy Hour. For today's practice at Happy Hour, I would like to invite us into a practice of appreciative perception. We'll explore that more. Appreciative perception. There will be some metta[^1] in there, some loving-kindness, some mudita[^2]—vicarious joy—and some gratitude practice. The inspiration for this practice this evening, morning, afternoon—whatever the time zone might be, this moment in time—comes from a quote by Rilke[^3] that I will share with you. Rilke writes: > "If your daily life seems poor, do not blame it; blame yourself. Tell yourself that you are not poet enough to call forth its riches. For the creator, there is no poverty and no poor, indifferent place." Ah, that's quite profound. I'll read it again, and maybe I'll say one thing before I read it again. The idea of meditation is sometimes we go through our lives like, "Oh, ho-hum, humdrum," and our life seems poor. What the invitation is—as he's inviting us—is that it's not so much to blame our lives, but maybe it's our way of seeing, or actually our way of _not_ seeing. It's our perception. It's our lack of perception of the riches that are in our life, of the diversity, the beauty, the grace, the opportunities—so much that there is in our lives. So it's really the poverty of our perception. What he's inviting is what I like to call a poetry of perception. We can use the word gratitude, metta, all of that, but let's make it poetic tonight. Let's mix it up a little bit. The poetry of perception. Now I'd like to read the quote one more time with that appreciation. So he says: > "If your daily life seems poor, do not blame it; blame yourself. Tell yourself that you are not poet enough to call forth its riches. For to the creator, there is no poverty and no poor, indifferent place." Again, Buddhist language probably doesn't have "blame yourself," so those parts we'll kind of take out, but just the idea of if life seems poor, ah, it's about our perception. How is our perception perceiving the good, perceiving the beauty, perceiving all the poetry, all the music, all the color, all the riches that are available in life? So that would be an invitation for this metta practice in this Happy Hour, to invite us to open up to that perception. If our life feels poor, or even if it doesn't feel poor, let's bring in the sense of appreciation. The poetry of perception. Perceiving what is good, inclining the mind to what is beautiful, what is wholesome inside and outside. All right, that's enough framing. Let's do it. ## Guided Meditation I'd like to invite you to get into your meditation posture. Shifting, moving. If you need to lie down, that's fine; see what your body needs in this moment. Do you need to move to a cushion or a chair? Sit up straighter? As always, we'll start with about ten minutes of settling with the breath in the body. Landing. Greeting. Greeting this body that's showing up as best as it is able to in this moment. And greeting the heart, the emotions. Our heart showing up as well as it's able to show up in this moment, whether it's light or heavy. Greeting, greeting this moment like this. _You are welcome, heart. Please feel safe._ It's all okay, however you're showing up. And welcoming our mind. Our mind and heart, however it's showing up in this moment: bright, a little tired, weary, excited, or a little distracted previously with preoccupations. Welcoming all of ourselves. Welcoming. A warm welcome to ourselves to set the tone for this practice. No part left out. Embracing and welcoming all. Inviting the body to relax. It doesn't have to do anything. Inviting it _not_ to do anything. The breath itself moves in and out by itself. The breath is breathed by itself. Not needing to make it into a project. Just allow it to move as it has been moving. Breathing. You being breathed for all this time without any extra effort on your part. Thank you very much. Let it be. Let the breath be natural. And see if the breath may be received in the abdomen, not from the control tower of the head, but sensed, felt intimately. Being breathed in the abdomen, inviting all the muscles to soften. To soften and let go with each out-breath. And if thoughts are arising, it's okay. See them, notice them with friendliness. See if you can release them in this moment. Not throw them away like a rock, but release them like a helium balloon. Gently, kindly, see them float. And let the awareness cradle the breath in the belly. What if every breath was appreciated? Every in-breath and out-breath. What if every breath was received with friendliness? What if every thought was received with friendliness? And let go with friendliness. What if every judgment, if any are arising, was received as if it was directed to your best friend? Your best friend, your twin, being yourself. Shifting the perception from _me, mine, I am this, I am bad, I am unworthy, I am great_. Just a little bit of space. Seeing yourself from a friendly perspective from the outside. It could be your best friend's perspective, or maybe your best friend is the Buddha. The Buddha's perspective. Unconditionally loving, unconditionally kind. Be your best friend. The Buddha hears the judgmental thoughts, the acrimony within, and smiles a knowing, loving smile. Holding you with care. Your best friend, the Buddha. And you can use any other loving archetype who stands for unconditional love next to you. It could be Kuan Yin[^4], Buddha, Jesus, a being of light, or even a loving family member next to you. They feel your breath. Maybe they know you so well. This being, this archetype—I'm just going to use the Buddha, but feel free to invoke anyone. They hear your thoughts. They hold you with care and compassion. They see how you berate yourself. They chuckle with humor, with love, with care. Just sitting next to them, you feel their love. You feel their care. Not because you have to do anything to deserve it or earn it; it's just available. It's just available because you're a human being, and life is hard enough as a human being. We each have our own challenges, every single one of us. Whatever my unique challenges are, in their particularities, as I struggle, as I suffer, this Buddha sitting next to me understands. Understands completely. Appreciates, respects, and loves me. Regardless of, or because of, or together with all the challenges, with complete compassion, acceptance, and love. It's hard enough being human. It's hard being human. It's not for the faint of heart. The Buddha understands. He understands the human condition. He completely understands it. He has boundless compassion for all of humanity. Every human. I am no exception. Just like everyone else. Maybe even putting the challenges on the lap of the Buddha. Letting the hand hold it with you. And he's patient. He listens. You feel safe in his presence. Unconditional love and acceptance is available. And now, this compassionate being next to you, they invite you to see a gift in your life. And they look at it with you, appreciating it with you. This gift in your life, perceiving it with you. They see it, you see it. You see through their eyes, they see through your eyes. What is one blessing that they see in your life? They point it out in this moment. Letting yourself cherish and see the goodness. Savor this blessing. And the compassion, the happiness for you. They're happy for you, glad for you, embracing you in joy. So happy you have this blessing in your life. If you find your mind going to the future—_I might lose this_—bring the mind back. Invite your perception to this moment, right here. You can choose to be right here, right now, choosing the poetry of your perception to relish. With the support of the compassionate being next to you. Right here, right now, sitting, breathed. This moment of aliveness. The brightness, the goodness, right here. And now, the compassionate being next to you sees another blessing in your life. They celebrate for you, with you. You see how happy they are for you. Letting yourself relax into it. Both of you savoring this good fortune. And one last time. Now this time, you bring something up, some goodness, some gift, blessing in your life, and put it on the lap of this compassionate being. And they feel so happy in your happiness and your good fortune. Feel free to continue with this borrowed perception, the perception of the compassionate being next to you. Whether there are challenges that you put on their lap and they give you unconditional love and compassion, or where they feel happy for your good fortune and happiness. Awakening your own appreciation and happiness. Feeling, receiving complete unconditional love and support. Feel free to be creative. Maybe seeing yourself hugged by this compassionate being in a completely loving embrace. You're doing your best. They think you're doing your best. It's okay. Held in a loving embrace. And for the last moments of this practice, allow whatever came up, or didn't come up, during this practice period to also be held in the loving gaze of the compassionate being. No judgment, just appreciation that you showed up and you did your best. Thank you all for your practice. ## Reflections and Q&A So we have some time for reflections or questions. You're welcome to raise your Zoom hand or type in chat as to what you noticed, what came up for you. What was easy? What was challenging? What you discovered in your practice. And the invitation to share with the sangha[^5] as a gift. The gift of practice we give supports everyone. Questions, comments, reflections, especially if you haven't spoken for a while in sangha. And just as I invite you to feel free to raise your hand, I'll say a couple more words with the theme of perception. There are so many different ways that we can play with our perception in this way. The perception of the compassionate being next to us, the Buddha, because it is available. So we can have this playing with this perception for a poetry of perception. To turn our attention with kindness, with love, both to ourselves, and also to see the good in our lives. To see the good. As Rilke said, "If your daily life seems poor, do not blame it." Don, please. **Don:** Hello everyone. Nikki, welcome back. Great to have you with us. **Nikki:** Thank you. **Don:** I had a hard time imagining this compassionate being. I struggled with that. So I didn't—I just sort of let it go at some point and just sort of focused on the breath or the sensations in the body, sort of a body scan. The compassionate being was very vague towards the end. It may be a ghost-like thing, maybe, but it was tough. **Nikki:** Yeah, thanks for sharing that. I really appreciate it. And I also really appreciate, Don, that you hung in there with the body scan and with the breath, which is great. It's always a great anchor to go to, to be in the body and to be with the breath. And also at the end, it seems like the compassionate image may be kind of hanging out, or it was there. So let me ask you a question, if it's okay. What felt like the crux of the challenge? Was it the conjuring up, was it the power of imagination, or was it like, "Oh, they're not compassionate enough?" I wonder if you could put it in your own words. **Don:** Just trying to imagine such a being. It's a foreign concept in my life. Just trying to imagine that, it's like, "Wow, what is that?" **Nikki:** Got it. Okay, that's very helpful for me too. Okay, so what would a compassionate image be like? This is both for you and for everyone who might have had a challenge with this, or will have a challenge with this. Is there a living being, anyone that you kind of identify or think of as a kind, loving being? Is there someone you identify with? Again, it could be either a living being or an archetype for you that's like, "Wow, this person represents love." Is there one? Is it okay for you to say it out loud? If not, that's okay too. **Don:** Yeah, there's somebody that helped me when I was a teenager, and so I often think of him. **Nikki:** Fantastic! Yay. So, if you think of that person, is it easier to conjure that person up as someone who's next to you? **Don:** Yes. **Nikki:** So instead of the compassionate being being vague, that person can be your compassionate image. That would be workable, Don? **Don:** Yes, great. **Nikki:** Fantastic. Thanks for bringing that up because it could be a living person, someone from your past, an archetype, someone from history. It could be anyone. I'm glad! Yay, so you can practice in that way on your own. Thank you for bringing that up, Don. And I just appreciate the reminder in the chat that we need not judge our practice, no matter the outcome, even a good one. Yes, yes, I appreciate that exactly. We're just planting seeds. We're planting seeds. Who are we to judge our practice? It's more profound than even we can understand it to be. We don't want to limit our practice to our limited mind and judge it "good," "bad," or "a star." So great. Maybe time for one more reflection before we transition. **Nav:** Hey Nikki. I thought I'd share a story with the sangha that I think would support the theme that you introduced today. A friend of mine used to volunteer with Mother Teresa, and he told me a story of a man who had donated a hospital to her. At the end of the tour, he basically asked for a photo with Mother Teresa in front of the hospital. This photo ended up taking fifteen minutes under the hot Indian sun of him trying to pose Mother Teresa for the perfect photo for him. And at the end of it, my friend who was observing all this went up to Mother Teresa as the man left and said, "Hey, you know, I thought that was a bit rude. Why did you agree to take this photo with this man?" And she turned to him and said, "Poverty comes in many forms." **Nikki:** Beautiful. Thank you, Nav. Thank you for sharing that. Poverty comes in many forms, yes. Great, great story. Thank you, Nav. And I will put this quote from Rilke in our chat. Let's see if I can do that... here we go. Speaking of poverty, yes, poverty comes in many different forms. So, dear ones, let's transition. Let's transition for those who are able to stay. If you have to go, it's understandable. But if you're afraid to be in small groups, please stay. If you have work to do, family to take care of, it's okay. But if you're afraid, please stay. It's really lovely. This is a very friendly sangha, and there's just such beauty in the practice that can arise from sharing. The invitation for tonight, as we get in small groups, is again to start with thirty seconds of silent metta for each other and receiving it from others. And then after the thirty seconds, you are invited to speak from your practice, from your personal experience. How this practice was for you, what worked, what didn't. Just sharing with the sangha, and the sangha holding it with care, with compassion. You can share as little or as much as you wish. So with that, making the groups now, and you can start with your silent metta for the community. I'm opening the groups now. Here we go. _[Break for small groups]_ **Nikki:** Okay everyone, welcome back. So we've got a couple of minutes for reflections. Nicholas, please, that hand shot right up. Tell me what's up. **Nicholas:** On behalf of others in my group—it's anonymous—it came up that the person that came up for them brought grief because they had passed or they were in poor health. And so I thought that might be something for a lot of people that would be helpful to discuss. Whether to bring that person in, in this case, or how to cope with grief. **Nikki:** That's a good point. This practice is intended to support the perception through a compassionate being, and not to bring up grief. So if this particular being is bringing up grief, then it's skillful to bow to them, love them, thank them, and invite another compassionate being. Until a day when this being coming up doesn't bring up grief. I'll share with you, for example, a lot of times a person who comes up is my mom for me, who passed away three years ago. I love her dearly, and I still miss her, and there is no grief. There is just a sense of love, that complete love engulfing. So until that can happen, it is skillful to use a different compassionate image. Thanks, Nicholas, for bringing that up. Fred, please. **Fred:** Well, I've been nested in grief the last few months, as my wife died a couple of months ago. And that has been the state of things for me for these last few months. But the person who came up for me was my wife, in a way that was not grief at all, but just seeing the person I have loved so much for so long in a beautiful condition. I wasn't trying to conjure her up, but she's on my mind all the time. She stepped in in a way that I hadn't experienced in the last couple of months. And I'll go back to grieving her, you know, since we're done, but it was nice just to have that visit from her in that way, and surprising. **Nikki:** Thank you, Fred. Thank you so much for sharing. I'm allowing myself to feel the grace and the beauty of that, and the smile on your face that just flashed for a moment at the end. Just the brightness of your love for her and her love for you. The opening to that to just be held with love, to love and be loved for a moment. Going back to grief: "Yes, hello grief, I'm going to come back to you." And for that gift, thank you so much for sharing that, Fred. Thank you. So dear ones, thank you so much for your wholehearted practice and for sharing of yourself. May all of you, may all of us, may all beings be happy and free. May all beings be happy. May all beings be free. Thank you for showing up and for your practice. --- [^1]: **Metta:** A Pali word meaning loving-kindness, friendliness, and goodwill. [^2]: **Mudita:** A Pali word meaning sympathetic or vicarious joy; joy in the good fortune of others. Original transcript said "would detail", corrected to "mudita" based on context. [^3]: **Rainer Maria Rilke:** A Bohemian-Austrian poet and novelist, widely recognized as one of the most lyrically intense German-language poets. [^4]: **Kuan Yin:** The Bodhisattva of Compassion in East Asian Buddhism. (Also known as Guanyin). [^5]: **Sangha:** A Pali and Sanskrit word meaning community, often used to refer to the community of Buddhist practitioners.