---
ai_generation_date: '2026-08-28'
ai_model: gemini-3-pro-preview
audiodharma:
  talks:
    - date: '2020-08-05'
      mp3_url: https://audiodharma.us-east-1.linodeobjects.com/talks/11830/20200805-Nikki_Mirghafori-IMC-happy_hour_metta_and_resolve.mp3
      speakers:
        - speaker_name: Nikki Mirghafori
          speaker_url: https://www.audiodharma.org/speakers/229
      talk_start_time_seconds: 0
      title: 'Happy Hour: Metta and Resolve'
      url: https://www.audiodharma.org/talks/11830
      video_unavailable: false
location_city: Redwood City, CA
video_unavailable: false
youtube:
  id: mpRUgx5aRRI
  imprecise_upload_date: '2021-05-04'
  title: 'Happy Hour: Metta and Resolve (Nikki Mirghafori)'
  upload_date: null
  uploader_str: Insight Meditation Center
  uploader_url: https://www.youtube.com/@InsightMeditationCenter
youtube_url: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mpRUgx5aRRI
---

# Happy Hour: Metta and Resolve - [Nikki Mirghafori](https://www.audiodharma.org/speakers/229)

_This is an AI-generated transcript from auto-generated subtitles for the video above. It likely contains inaccuracies, especially with speaker attribution if there are multiple speakers._

## [Happy Hour: Metta and Resolve](https://www.audiodharma.org/talks/11830)

Oh, welcome, welcome to Happy Hour, everyone. Whether you're joining us on Zoom at this moment in time or on YouTube, it's lovely to have you with us. Also, welcome wherever in the world you are, whatever time zone, whether it's your morning starting your day in Australia, or winding down on the East Coast around 9:00 PM, or early evening on the West Coast. Oh, I see some of our Singaporean friends have joined, good morning to you. It's great to see you.

So the invitation for tonight is to continue exploring. We've been exploring mettā[^1] with respect to the pāramīs[^2]—the ten pāramīs—for the past couple of weeks. And tonight, we have made our way to the pāramīs, the perfections, these ten beautiful qualities that the Buddha has taught. These ten beautiful qualities of the heart. And tonight we have reached what's called adhiṭṭhāna[^3], which is often translated as resolve.

There are more nuances to the word, though, so I want to spend a minute. Adhiṭṭhāna comes from the Pali word _adhi_ meaning foundation or beginning, and the word _ṭhāna_ in Pali meaning standing. So, foundational beginning, standing, foundational standing. Feel into those two words for yourself: foundational standing. Like if you take a stance, your foundational stance. The foundational standing is often translated as a decision, resolution, self-determination, will, or resolve. But I actually like the combination of these two words in Pali to really get a feeling in the body, because resolve can feel so tight. But the idea here isn't the tightness, it's foundational. So it's your basis, it's through your root, through your core. Feel as if you have these roots into the ground. They're your foundational standing. They allow you to stand.

That's the way I'm going to invite us to relate to adhiṭṭhāna. Again, I might use the word resolve, but really it's this feeling of your foundational standing. It's your decision, the way that you intend to be, to show up. So we are exploring that foundational standing, this resolve, with respect to mettā.

As we practice any kind of practice—cultivating wisdom, cultivating compassion, cultivating mettā, good will—any cultivation that you take on, both short-term in the momentary cultivation (as you're sitting and your mind is wandering and you're like, "come back, come back, mind"), there's a sense of your north star. There's a sense of foundational standing. There's a sense of resolve, intentionality that you bring to each moment of practice at the micro level, as well as the macro level. There are times that practice might become challenging, or life is more challenging than usual, and you go back. You feel into your foundational standing, this adhiṭṭhāna, your resolve, your intentionality.

It is this sense of resolution, will, determination, but I really like "foundational standing." What's your beginning? What's your intention? What's your north star, both in the micro level in every moment of practice, and in the macro level in the arc of your life? In the months, years, decades of your life, your adhiṭṭhāna, your resolve, your foundational standing, your intentionality, the decisions that you make.

With that, the invitation tonight is to explore how, with cultivating goodwill, friendliness, mettā for others and ourselves, we tap into feeling this foundational standing, this resolution, this resolve. It's not willy-nilly, and also recognizing the beauty, the goodness of this resolve. Otherwise, you wouldn't be here at this moment of time. You wouldn't have shown up. There are so many things you could be doing with your time. For those who would be listening to this on AudioDharma later or watching it on YouTube, there wouldn't be this intentionality, the connection to this sense of resolve, to this foundational standing.

In our exploration tonight, I will invite you to feel into that and recognize the goodness, the beauty of your own adhiṭṭhāna, your own resolve. Maybe through this, you'll find more adhiṭṭhāna. In fact, I'll just use the word adhiṭṭhāna from now on. Foundational standing, resolve. It's kind of nice to use a new word sometimes so we don't have so much association with it, so much baggage. Maybe the word resolution or being resolute feels tight for you, but adhiṭṭhāna, oh, here's this new word. Okay, you can associate whatever you find tonight, whatever beautiful qualities you find in your heart, your body, and your mind with it.

## Guided Meditation

So with that introduction, I'd like to invite you to get into your meditation posture. If you need to move to be more comfortable, this is the perfect time to do that. If you need to lie down, that's okay, too. See what your body is calling for right now. If you need to sit up a little more straight with more dignity, maybe that's what your body needs right now. Decide what your body needs.

And with a sense of connecting with your intentionality, connecting with your foundation, first let's connect with our foundation, with our physical foundation, our body. Landing in the body. Feeling the body breathing, settling. And also, at the beginning of this practice, as we are turning our attention to our bodies, to our foundation, let's also touch into our foundational beginning, our foundational stance, our adhiṭṭhāna, our resolve.

Without getting tight, but as a sense of alignment in the body, as a sense of beauty, grace, the north star. The sense of love, perhaps, that the heart has for this practice, for this cultivation for yourself, for others. Can that feel like adhiṭṭhāna?

Letting that go, let's not become heady, and feel our bodies landing in the body, softening, relaxing. Allowing, inviting the body to relax with each breath. With each out-breath, landing somewhere. Letting each in-breath be enlivening, and each out-breath relaxing.

And if you find your mind is resting—if your tension is resting and a thought, plan, or memory arises—gently inviting it back to be with the breath, to be with the body. The sense of this foundational stance, foundational stance for presence in this moment in a spacious, relaxed way, and yet having this stance, having a perspective, having a resolve. Connecting with adhiṭṭhāna.

Just breathing or letting yourself be breathed. The foundational stance, feeling it through your body. The entire intentionality through your bones, through your heart, through your body. Not just a heady endeavor. What does your heart want? What does it want to be aligned with, move towards? As if your heart was a magnet, what is the gravitational force that your magnet wants to align with, is attracted to? Your whole body, what is your intention?

And as you drop these questions into the body, sitting, breathing, notice if connecting with your adhiṭṭhāna, your foundational stance, or evoking the word resolve—if it brings tightness. If it doesn't, great. If it does, notice if you bring more attention to the whole body, the whole body more relaxed, soft, and the sense of mettā, sense of care. Foundational stance, resolve, can have the sense of friendliness. It doesn't have to be harsh. It can be a powerful, very powerful, strong force, and yet it doesn't have to be harsh. It can be strong with beauty, love, and grace. With friendliness, with warmth, with care.

Dropping it into your body, not your head. Dropping these reflections in the body. And now just allowing for a few minutes. Just allowing yourself to be breathed. Not thinking, but letting these reflections you have planted, as if you have planted seeds in the soil of your body and your heart. Now let your body relax, and let it be breathed.

Allowing there to be a settling, a relaxing of the body. The environment opening up to the breath more, to the sounds. Sounds in the environment, relaxing with all that's arising in the body and all around.

And whatever arises in your mind right now, can the heart, can the mind connect with the resolve, with the adhiṭṭhāna for loving-kindness? Whatever arises: thoughts, sounds, sensations. I hear the sound of sirens now where I'm sitting, and my mind, my heart turns to adhiṭṭhāna for compassion for whoever is in trouble right now, mettā to meet suffering. See what else is arising for you. Maybe it's just simple, it's just the breath, the body. Maybe it's sleepiness. Maybe it's thoughts that, "Oh, I can't do this, my mind is too distracted."

Can you connect with the resolve, with the foundational stance for kindness and goodwill for yourself in this moment? If that is your orientation in life, can you connect with it in this moment, too? Can you hold whatever is arising in this moment with kindness? First holding yourself with kindness and goodwill. "May I be a friend to myself. May I hold myself with kindness. May I love and accept myself just as I am."

Then whatever arises—thoughts, sounds, sensations—can there be a lack of judgment, lack of irritation? Just a sense of friendliness, ease. Friendliness with yourself, everything that arises.

And if you find your mind judging, fixing, comparing, maybe turn your attention to your foundational stance. Connect with your adhiṭṭhāna. What is your adhiṭṭhāna? What is your foundational stance, foundational standing in life? What are you trying to cultivate? Who are you trying to be, and the way you're showing up moment to moment with your actions, with your thoughts, how you spend your time, how you're spending your attention? Your intention, is it aligned? Is it aligned with your foundational stance in this moment and over time?

Letting yourself be breathed. Just this breath. Just this in-breath, just this out-breath. Letting the reflections percolate. Connect it to the body, your foundation. Let yourself be breathed.

So the last minute, reconnecting with the adhiṭṭhāna, foundational stance, or kindness for yourself. Holding yourself with care, friendliness, non-judgment. And whatever arose in this practice period, these 30 minutes of the guided sit, allow it to be just as it was. It had to be, had to arise just as it did given causes and conditions. Connecting with the intention of goodwill for yourself. Holding yourself with kindness, acceptance, and goodwill.

Thanks, everyone, for joining yourself and everyone on this journey of exploring mettā and adhiṭṭhāna.

## Reflections and Q&A

I'd like to invite us to share some reflections. You can type them in chat or raise your hand and unmute yourself. If you raise your hand physically, I may not see you, but you can raise your blue hand or just unmute yourself. You should be able to do that.

I'll share a reflection with you. As I was guiding this practice, this meditation, one piece that was quite significant for me tonight was feeling my whole body, using the word "foundational stance." The body as a foundation, aligning with the metaphor of as if your whole body was a magnet with the gravitational force of the earth. What is your earth? What are you aligning with? For me, it felt really significant. What am I aligning with in what I'm creating in every moment of my life, in the way I show up, and reconnecting with my resolve, my intention, for my adhiṭṭhāna. I wanted to share that from what came up with me.

Marie Christine asks, "Is foundational stance connected to commitment?" It can be. The idea of this adhiṭṭhāna as a resolve is related to a commitment. When you make a resolve, when you make a stance, you're making a kind of a commitment. So yes, there is a relationship. Thank you for that question.

Other reflections, questions, please? You should be able to unmute yourself. Just check what came up for you. What did you discover? Nancy, please.

**Nancy:** Can you hear me now?

**Nikki:** Yes.

**Nancy:** I felt a certain confidence in focusing on the body, the sensations, and sounds. In the moment of a certain confidence—which I'm not sure if that's the same thing as the stance—but in being able to sit, that my body will take me there. So I don't know how to express that appropriately.

**Nikki:** You expressed it beautifully, Nancy. It just hits my heart, the sense of confidence that arises, that you sit and your body will take you there. Beautiful, I love that. Thank you for sharing that, Nancy, that was lovely.

Nav offers in the chat, "Exploring the felt sense of a foundational stance and how it relates to love." Beautiful, thank you, Nav. Would you like to say more about that? You don't have to, but if you want, it'll be lovely.

**Nav:** Sure. To me, the word foundation has a hardness, like a foundation stone. But you know, the practice is about strength and softness at the same time. So for me, trying to explore how a foundational stance links to love for oneself and others, that relationship is something that I'm just starting to look at.

**Nikki:** Great, beautiful. Thank you for sharing that. I also appreciate you bringing up two things. One is that for some, the idea of foundation has this hardness to it. Different words evoke a different sense for different people, so I appreciate you bringing that in. And for you, recognizing that and exploring that there needs to be a softness with the strength. Love can be strong. And this foundational stance, not the harshness, not the rigidity, but the softness, the strength, and the beauty, the brightness in it. I appreciate you raising all that. Lovely.

Paroma offers, "Felt very grounded." Beautiful, great, sounds wonderful. Thank you for that.

I'd like to save some time perhaps for reflections on the other side of the practice, meeting in the little groups that we'll get into, unless there is a reflection you really like to share to feel complete before we get into it. I'll give it a moment if you want to raise your hand or unmute yourself. But otherwise, any takers? Let's see. Okay, no.

## Community Practice

The invitation tonight for a group practice is as you relate to others—maybe two or three other people in the small group—the invitation is to show up. Not with the energy of, "Oh, now I have to talk to people, I have to put my public face on." Not that. This is a sandbox to see how you can show up with this balance of care, of warmth, of friendliness for yourself and for others. With that energy, holding yourself, holding them, and trusting that you're being held by others in that way.

In the interaction, each person will be sharing for just a couple of minutes. What you share, what you say, is not as important as how you show up for yourself. Can you speak while you're holding yourself with kindness, and others, and connecting tonight with a sense of this foundational stance for kindness, for goodwill? How do I want to show up in the world? Do I want to show up with care for myself and care for others? What does it feel like with an interaction, with just a six-minute interaction? How can it possibly show up freshly meditated, with people who've just meditated with me? Then maybe you can take it out into the world with your family, with your colleagues later. But here, this is a sandbox, you can try this out.

So with that, the prompt is: What did you discover tonight in this exploration? Again, whatever you say is fine. If you discovered nothing, or if you fell asleep, it's perfectly fine. But that is the prompt, see what comes up for you. I'm going to create the breakout rooms now. If you decide tonight is not right for you, it's okay to bow out. But you are invited to try it out, see what it feels like. Making the breakout rooms... I'm about to open them up. Remember to stay in your body. Here we go.

_[Breakout rooms commence and return]_

Okay, the rooms are closed and everyone is back. Welcome back, everyone.

## Group Reflections

We have a few minutes for reflections, questions, comments, or complaints. Either about the first part of the practice—the silent meditation—or the second part of practicing in community. Erica, please.

**Erica:** The connection for me between resolve and loving-kindness was really rich. My orientation in life is about a big heart, loving-kindness. I'm sure a lot of us who are gathering here share that. But I often feel like I don't have a big heart. I'm falling short of that aspiration. Somehow, the pairing of that with resolve was really encouraging. Resolve, or a foundational stance, is a commitment that you keep returning to. It made me feel like it's okay that I don't have a heart like the sky every day. That's a commitment that I can keep coming back to. That was beautiful. And then physically, I felt like my heart was expanding out of my chest, which is very cool. Just because of this connection and the freedom of that. So that was really nice.

**Nikki:** Beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing that, Erica. I so appreciate you speaking about discovering that it's a commitment you come back to instead of berating oneself. You just come back to it. It's your north star, of course you keep coming back to it.

What you're saying also relates to how the five precepts, how ethics, how sīla[^4] is held in Buddhism. It's not like the commandments of "thou shall not," and it's not about sinning. It's about a commitment. You make a commitment to not kill, not cause harm, and not steal. You keep making a commitment. And maybe you'll take somebody's time more than they wanted to give it, so in some ways you've stolen, but you don't berate yourself. You come back to your intention. You have this resolve. You come back to your intention, you make a commitment. So it's the same. I'm just buoyed, I'm delighted to hear how you're discovering this from mettā, and also the stability in the body. Beautiful, thank you.

Joe, I see your hand is raised, please.

**Joe:** So I don't relate to "foundational stance" very well. I relate to "resolve." And I've had a resolve, you might say, to keep going through good times or bad in my practice. The good times get better and longer, and the bad times get less bad and less long. But it never occurred to me to apply resolve to what Gil calls "being a safe person for everyone," or to resolve to show mettā. So I'm gonna add that into the resolve mix.

**Nikki:** Great, beautiful. Thank you for sharing that. I love hearing about your new resolve or connecting with this idea of resolve. It's great, makes me happy. Thank you.

Any other reflections? I see a question earlier from Yuka. Yuka, are you still here? I don't see Yuka anymore. Okay, there was a question in the chat she typed earlier. Oh no, she's up there, I see you now. I have a very limited view, I have to keep scrolling back and forth to see people. Because of YouTube privacy, I have to highlight myself so only I'm seen. I just see a strip of names and photos. Anyway, here you are, Yuka.

The question you wrote was, "How do you perceive the feeling of not feeling?" How I understand it is, how do you relate to the feeling of not feeling, or numbness? Am I understanding your question correctly, or do you want to say a little more about it so I understand your question better?

**Yuka:** [unintelligible] my body come back [unintelligible] feeling good but...

**Nikki:** Oh, so this is what I understood you say: During the meditation, it felt like you didn't feel your body, and when I rang the bell, it seemed like you came back to your body, and you started to feel your body again. So it seemed like for a while, the sensations of the body were not felt. Is that the question?

**Yuka:** Yeah.

**Nikki:** So you're wondering about that. That can be many different things, but the case here is sometimes when the mind gets really, really still, it's called samādhi[^5] or concentration or shamatha[^6]—it's called different things—but it's basically when the mind gets very calm, very still. Sometimes the sensations of the body disappear. Sometimes the sensations of the body dissolve. They're not there. It's okay. There's a different way of relating to the sensations. Sometimes the body sensations can feel like points in space. Many different things can show up. It's all fine. It's all good.

Just relate to it the same way you relate to a hiccup. The body does something, like, "Oh, okay." Relate to it in a natural way, like, "Oh, this is natural. This is what happens when the mind really settles." It's not too scary. Not at all. It's completely normal when the mind settles.

If we have more time, I'll tell you more, but this is just fine. In fact, I'll stay a few minutes afterwards if you want to ask more questions. I'll make myself available tonight for anyone who has specific questions. But it's 7:02, and let's close the session together.

Thank you all for showing up for yourself and others, practicing and aligning your life with your adhiṭṭhāna. May we all be well, free. All beings everywhere, and aligned with our adhiṭṭhāna. Thanks, everyone. I'll stay for an extra five minutes for whoever would like to stay and ask questions, and I will stop the YouTube stream.

---

[^1]: **Mettā:** A Pali word often translated as loving-kindness, goodwill, or friendliness.

[^2]: **Pāramī:** A Pali word referring to "perfection" or "culmination" of certain virtues. In Theravada Buddhism, there are ten pāramīs.

[^3]: **Adhiṭṭhāna:** A Pali word often translated as resolve, determination, or foundational stance. It is one of the ten pāramīs.

[^4]: **Sīla:** A Pali word translated as ethics or morality. The Buddhist practice of ethical conduct.

[^5]: **Samādhi:** A Pali word meaning concentration, a state of intense, unified focus or meditation.

[^6]: **Shamatha:** A Buddhist meditation practice aimed at developing calm abiding and mental tranquility.