Happy Hour: Not Choosing Wind-Drag

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The following talk was given by Nikki Mirghafori at Insight Meditation Center in Redwood City, CA on July 01, 2021. Please visit the website www.audiodharma.org for more information.

Happy Hour: Not Choosing Wind-Drag

Introduction

Hi, and welcome to today's happy hour. For the theme today, I'd like to invite us to explore a theme we were exploring last week from different aspects and dimensions. Today, again from another aspect, another dimension, and that is putting down what is extra, what is not needed. Putting down what is not needed so that we can make more space for ease, for peace, for love, for care, for confidence, for trust.

One simile that can come up is, say, if it's in the summer, it's already hot, and you don't want to be wearing a wool coat. That is extra. It's not needed to put it on, so you put it down. Or the idea of wind-drag. We're all going through life, and it's nice to have ease, freedom—Nirvana^[1] is another word for ease, for freedom—going through life without wind-drag. And when we add what is not needed—for example, hatred, extra self-hatred, the hatred of others—it adds wind-drag. Or a lack of confidence: "Oh, I can't do this. I'm not good enough." Wind-drag. How about we just get down to it and gently put it down? It's not needed.

So, some of the invitations I'll make tonight during the guided meditation are, if you notice things that are extra coming up—"Oh, I forgot to do blah, blah, blah"—in this moment, that is extra. In this moment, it's wind-drag. Let's put it down. Or, "Oh, I'm a terrible meditator. My mind is all over the place. I can't do this." It's wind-drag. Thank you. Relax, soften, allow it to drop away. Just sit.

And you might need to put down wind-drag, what is creating wind-drag, this extra stuff, these extra layers, many, many, many times. Do it every time joyfully. Putting it down joyfully. So I think that's enough framing for now. I might say more later, but let's begin. Let's just sit.

Guided Meditation

I want you to land in your body. Landing in your body in this moment. Arriving, as best as you're able to. Inviting this body to relax, to land.

First, let me suggest something: raise yourself up a little bit if you're sitting, tightening as if raising your shoulders. Tightening, lifting, lifting a little bit, and then drop. Drop your body. Relax. Drop.

And now really drop another level into your sit bones. You're really taking your seat on this earth, in this body. This is your seat in this life. Your unique seat. Relax into it. Inhabit it. Inhabit the seat fully. Both relaxing and sitting tall. This is your seat.

Letting the lower body sink into the earth. The upper body, the torso, rise up with the breath, with integrity. You're both well-rooted into the earth, connected deeply, gravity pulling you down, enjoying sense-aware rootedness. Your chest open, feeling uplifted, filled with breath, with air. Your chest and your abdomen, your whole body.

Spending a few minutes in your own time feeling well-rooted. Your feet, your legs, your sit bones connected to the earth. And enlivened throughout your body with the breath. Calming, soothing.

Releasing, putting down whatever comes up that's extra in this moment. Sensations are just sensations. Breath is just breath. Sounds are just sounds. And thoughts could be seen as just thoughts coming and going. Not getting entangled. If you notice any entanglement, it's extra. It's wind-drag. Smilingly noticing it is just that. Relaxing, softening the body.

Noticing that without the entanglement, without what's extra, there's more ease, more peace. You can just sit, just be. So much easier, less tiring, less exhausting for the body, for the mind, to just sit and be.

Releasing, letting go, putting down what is extra. Entanglements, self-doubt: "I can't do this, my mind's distracted, I don't like this." All the commentaries. It's not needed. It's like a warm coat in the summer. You don't need to wear it.

Your heart, your mind is naturally calm, naturally peaceful, naturally loving. The natural state is a free state. You know this. You know this deep down. Just sitting, putting down what's extra to make space for peace, for care, as self-care.

Noticing if judgments are coming up. Extra. Not needed. Smilingly relaxing the body, allowing this extra layer to drop off, and feel the ease, space, extra space created for peace. As a way to care for oneself, for yourself, for ourselves. So much more nourishing, so much more loving. Such ease. Restful. The best protection we can offer ourselves from the arrows that can cause harm: wind-drag. Just sit. Just here.

Especially when we're put down. Any enmity, any self-criticism, self-hatred, self-doubt, or judgments directed towards ourselves or others. When we put those down, especially when we release them, we make even more space for love, care for ourselves and others.

In Pali^[2], the language of the Buddha, Dosa^[3] is ill will, hatred. Adosa^[4], the opposite of ill will, hatred, is synonymous with loving-kindness. So when you put any of these unhelpful, unprofitable attitudes of the mind down, release them. You're making more space for peace, for love, for friendliness.

Now I would like to invite you, as a bridge between this practice on the cushion and our daily life, to do a little visualization if you would. As you feel embodied, sitting, feeling your feet on the floor, your sit bones contacting the earth, your hands, your breath moving through your body, bring to mind, if you would, a situation from today where there was something you were to do. It could be sending an email, or washing the dishes, or going for a walk, whatever, but there was some wind-drag in the mind. Resistance. Either inner judgment—"I can't do this, not good enough, I don't know what to do"—doubt, or external. Any situation where there was wind-drag.

Feeling your body, feeling your breath as you feel into the situation where there was wind-drag: "I don't feel like doing this." Wind-drag. Feeling your body, what does your body feel like with this entanglement, with this wind-drag? Do you notice more tightness, more fatigue, more exertion? More stress, more dukkha^[5]?

Now imagine you're putting it down. Releasing, just putting down whatever this extra winter coat is in the summer. Just putting it down and giving your heart to what needs to be done, what's calling you, and just doing it. Just being with it. No wind-drag. Imagine yourself doing this. Just simply doing it. Whatever it is, immersed in it, becoming one with it. Just simply immersed without resistance, without wind-drag.

I'd like to read a poem. Let it wash over you. This reflection, let it drop in as your body is sitting, embodied. Let it resonate in your heart, in your body. The poem is called "In This Passing Moment" by Hogen Bays^[6].

In the presence of Sangha, in the light of Dharma, In oneness with Buddha, may my path To complete enlightenment benefit everyone.

In this passing moment karma ripens And all things come to be. I vow to choose what is.

If there is cost, I choose to pay. If there is need, I choose to give. If there is pain, I choose to feel. If there is sorrow, I choose to grieve.

When burning, I choose heat. When calm, I choose peace. When starving, I choose hunger. When happy, I choose joy.

Whom I encounter, I choose to meet. What I shoulder, I choose to bear. When it is my death, I choose to die. Where this takes me, I choose to go.

Being with what is, I respond to what is. This life is as real as a dream. The one who knows it cannot be found. And truth is not a thing. Therefore, I vow to choose this Dharma entrance gate.

May all the Buddhas and wise ones help me live this vow.

When sitting, I choose to sit. When sitting, I choose to sit. That's all.

For the last moments of this practice, if any thoughts are coming up of judging your practice, considering it not good enough, not worthy enough—these self-judgments, these thoughts of ill will towards yourself are extra. They are extra, not needed. Putting them down. Releasing, letting go. You did your best. You showed up as best as you're able to.

By letting go of self-judgment, of Dosa, you make space for Adosa, which in Pali is synonymous with Metta^[7], loving-kindness, the opposite of ill will. Choosing simply just this. Letting the extra, letting the wind-drag go. In this passing moment, just this. Just this.

Reflections

Thank you all for your practice. So for today's practice, I was weaving a few different themes, as you probably noticed. One theme was this theme of what is extra, putting down what is extra. The extra that's put down, if it is ill will—again, in Pali, Dosa. The opposite of that in Pali, you add an "a" and it becomes the opposite: Adosa. Adosa is synonymous with Metta. So when you put any ill will, doubt, all this extra wind-drag, especially when you put those down, you're making some more space for peace, for ease, for love, for self-care. It's the most important protection we can offer ourselves: "May I be safe from all this extra stuff that I keep hurting myself with and hurting others with." The body can relax, the mind can relax.

Another theme I wanted to bring in is the simplicity of "just this" with this beautiful poem called "In This Passing Moment" by Hogen Bays. It's pretty easy to find for those who want to find it later, and probably Neil is going to send it to the Google Groups he has. Thank you, Neil. The theme here is no conflict. Just this. Just this.

Just as if you're sending an email or you're washing the dishes, just immersed in it. Just immersed with what is. No conflict, no wind-drag. Again, making more space. Have you noticed the days that maybe you got the same amount done as another day, but if there was a lot of wind-drag, a lot of doubt internally and externally, you're much more exhausted by the end of the day? As if you've climbed a mountain, but it's all wind-drag. Lack of freedom. Whereas putting down what is extra, what is not needed, and recognizing what's not needed creates freedom.

Q&A and Community

So I've said plenty. I would love to hear from you. What did you notice? What did you discover? You can type in the chat. If it's typed publicly, I'll say your name. If not, just to me, then it'll be a private reflection, and I won't read out your name. You can also raise your Zoom hand.

Ali says, "In what you created, I got the message that the very act of choosing eliminates so much of the extra, then begging the question, where am I not choosing in my life?"

Great. I love this context as an access to simplicity and space. Beautifully put, Ali. I want to read this part again, that it begs the question: where am I not choosing in my life? Where is wind-drag? Beautiful. Thank you for offering this beautiful reflection, Ali. Well said.

Other reflections, please. You're welcome to raise your hand also. Especially if you haven't spoken in a while, I'd love to hear from you. Or if you have a question, or if this was challenging or confusing, it's all okay, it's all welcome. Anthony, I see your hand. I usually don't see people's hands because I see a small strip, but here you are.

Anthony: Yes, Nikki. Thank you. I'd like to say how much I was relating to the breath, you know, to let go. And I just wanted to say the power of the breath, you know. Once I connected with my breath, everything else went away, as far as my worries and the stress.

Nikki: Yeah, thank you, Anthony. That is really powerful. That insight of connecting with the breath, really. It's as if, again, this image I have of wind-drag. When you're kind of riding the breath, you connect with the breath, and it's so full and it's delicious, and it's just putting down other things. What's extra can become so easy. Beautiful.

Yeah, thank you. In fact, that reminds me. I got a pointer to this book called Breath by James Nestor^[8], which I've just started to listen to, and it's about the breath, about physiological and psychological research that is just amazing. So yeah, breath. Thank you, Anthony.

So dear ones, how about we turn to practice and community, and we'll leave some minutes on the other side when we come back from groups for reflections? Maybe what comes up when you hear and hold with community these three themes. How did they work for you? What you observed, benefiting from other people's insight and wisdom. It's always interesting. Even if you feel like you have nothing to say, hang in there. Just listen with Metta for your own benefit and others. It's all okay.

So I will create the breakout rooms, and as always, let's start with 15 seconds of silent Metta for one another before you start speaking, just holding yourself, holding others with Metta. And then you can say as much or as little as you want to say. Okay, here we go. They are open, enjoy.

(Breakout rooms session)

Welcome back everyone. We have a couple of minutes for insights, reflections. What came up, what you noticed, what you learned about yourself.

Milan is asking for the Google Groups information, yes. Anything else? You're welcome to raise your hand with your Zoom hand, or reflect. Yes please, someone on the phone. Is this Michael? You are unmuted.

Michael: Hi, it's Michael. So I'm happy to report—can you hear me?

Nikki: Yeah, yeah, great.

Michael: I'm happy to report we all loved the letting-go theme of this evening, so deep bows to you. I was super grateful to be in the group with these two wise women, so it was really pleasant and just really watered my happiness seeds and my letting-go seeds. So deep bows.

Nikki: Thank you, Michael. I loved how you put that, watering your loving-kindness seeds and your letting-go seeds. That was just lovely. Wasn't that wonderful, community doing that? Yeah, great. Thank you for that reflection, and I'm so delighted to hear that this theme of letting go to make space for care, for love, as a way to care and love for ourselves resonated.

It's amazing how connected the theme of letting go is with Metta, with kindness, even though on its face it doesn't seem like it. As Neil was saying last week, at first you think, "Wait, this is letting go, this is not Metta." Whereas it's like, "Oh, wait a minute, there's this moistening of the heart," as he was also saying, a gentleness, a sense of care. So it's so much fun to discover these connections between these practices that at first might be hidden.

So dear ones, we have come to the end of our practice time together. I'd like to thank you all for showing up, for cultivating your heart for the sake of yourself, others, and everyone whose lives yours touches.

May all beings be happy. May all beings be free, including ourselves. Thank you.