Guided Meditation: Relaxing, Recognizing and Releasing; Dharmette: A Monastery Within story (3 of 5) Practicing with Relationships

This is an AI-generated transcript from auto-generated subtitles for the video Guided Meditation: Releasing; A Monastery Within story (3 of 5) Practicing with Relationships. It likely contains inaccuracies, especially with speaker attribution if there are multiple speakers.

The following talk was given by Ying Chen, 陈颖 at Insight Meditation Center in Redwood City, CA on June 07, 2023. Please visit the website www.audiodharma.org for more information.

Guided Meditation: Relaxing, Recognizing and Releasing

Greetings, good morning, good day, everyone. Welcome, Sangha^[1], to our 7:00 a.m. meditation and dharmette. I have been feeling very intimate this morning to meditate and practice together, learning together.

We have been using this list of R words in our meditation in the morning. The last couple of days, we went through relaxing and recognizing. Today, in our progression, I will add yet another R word, which is releasing.

There is a progression in our meditative process where, when our body, mind, and heart become more and more relaxed, the surface levels of agitation begin to calm down and settle down. It is like the mud beginning to settle to the bottom of a lake, which allows for clear seeing. We can begin to recognize what is in the field—recognize the fish swimming, the oysters moving, or the seagrass moving. Just like that, when relaxation deepens, there can be a sense of clear recognition of what is happening.

One of the important aspects of our practice is to begin to recognize the forces of clinging, grasping, and craving. When those are recognized, at the same time, they can be released. Releasing is this dimension of the movements that come when there is a clear recognition of the forces of grasping and clinging. The forces of grasping and clinging have many forms of manifestations.

I am using quite abstract words—clinging, grasping, craving—but in our manifest world, we can begin to feel how it feels in our embodied sense. Maybe there are certain kinds of extra constrictions^[2] somewhere in the body, or there may be a certain sense of heightening that can be released.

Today, in our meditation, if you take on this tour of three R's—relaxing, recognizing, and releasing whatever may be released in terms of extra tension and grasping—wherever you are, it is perfectly fine. It doesn't mean that you have to be somewhere specific in this sequence of R's or this map of R's; wherever you are is wholesome. So, let's begin to take a meditative posture.

Take the first few moments to just arrive at your seat. Arrive in the space you are in. Arriving here and now.

As if you are entering into a monastery within yourself. A monastery of this body, mind, and heart. A temple within.

Maybe there's a metaphor that immediately evokes some sense of reverence^[3]. There may be some sense of quieting. As you enter into the temple of this body, mind, and heart, take your seat right here.

The initial phase of our practice involves relaxing the body, in whatever way that might manifest itself. We can do a body scan while inviting relaxation, or you can simply sit with the offering and invitation to relax. It's helpful to relax the body. If there are certain parts of the body that tend to be tightened, offer a gentle invitation to relax.

Relaxing the mind. Relaxing the heart.

Maybe relaxing the mind refers to relaxing the thinking muscles. Maybe the muscles around the skull, or the neck. Some parts of the body where thinking seems to be associated.

Relaxing the heart. Gently breathing through the heart.

As the body becomes calmer and more settled, it is natural that mindfulness begins to come to the foreground. Present, aware. And you begin to recognize the dancing movements, sensations in the body, the temperature on the hands, the warmth in the palms. The touch points that have a sense of pressure and tingling of the body against the floor, chairs, or beds.

Recognizing each experience as they arise and pass away, being a relaxed and easeful field, the recognition comes naturally. There may be a slight heightened clarity^[4] or sensitivity to the experiences in the body, in the mind, and the heart.

Noticing any pleasant or unpleasant experiences arising and passing. And also noticing what happens as the pleasant and unpleasant experiences arise.

Is there extra efforting that's happening? That is a form of grasping that can be released.

Any tightening to the experience, the object of your experience? That is a form of grasping that can be released.

Are there forms of leaning into the objects of experience? That is a form of clinging that can be released.

Simple, relaxed recognition.

With a relaxed, easeful, clear recognition, there arises stillness. Silence within.

If the mind gets caught up in stories, let the stories be released. If the mind is caught up in judging, comparing, evaluating, or fixing, let them be released.

Noticing what it feels like when the extra tension and grasping are released. Maybe just a hint of how it might feel. Maybe just a possibility.

In the opening of the heart, the quieting of the mind, maybe some sense of stillness. A way into our stillness. Like walking into a peaceful temple.

This process of relaxing, recognizing, and releasing allows us to settle into deeper aspects of our being that are otherwise constantly stirred up and hard to get in touch with.

As you receive the sound of the bell to signify the end of sitting together, you're welcome to abide in this monastery within, to receive the stories from a monastery within.

Dharmette: A Monastery Within story (3 of 5) Practicing with Relationships

We are exploring this theme of the multidimensional nature of Dharma^[5] practice and the Dharma practice path. Yesterday, I shared a story from Gil Fronsdal's book, A Monastery Within^[6], about a 30-year-old man who was overwhelmed by his family life, particularly his two children, and wanted to escape to the monastery to find relief. But the abbot sent him back out after a seven-day solitary retreat. The abbot sent him back out to his family and told him that his family is his best teacher; that is where he would find spiritual strength and freedom.

Today, we will continue a bit in this dimension. The character in today's story is not someone who was trying to escape to the monastery. In fact, this person was having a really good time in the monastery. But the abbot decided again to send him out, because the world is his monastery. That is where his monastery is. I am going to read this story, and then I will offer some reflections.

"The Brilliant Monk. A young man once came to the monastery to ordain as a monk. He had been raised in relatively fortunate circumstances with easy access to education. Capable, smart, and friendly, he succeeded in most everything he set his mind to. Deeply reflective about life, he had studied the teachings of the major religions. In his early twenties, he decided not to follow the customary path of marriage and a career. Leaving behind the life he had known, he ordained at the age of 22 and applied himself to the meditation and training the monastery provided.

Disciplined, intent, and intelligent, he made quick progress in the spiritual practice. Monks and nuns who had been there for years were in awe of how quickly he settled into deep meditation. Within three months of entering the monastery, he experienced his first taste of enlightenment.

Immediately, the abbot grabbed the young monk, dragged him out the front gate, and without explanation, kicked him out of the monastery. Later, addressing the residents of the monastery, the abbot explained, 'The new monk's realization was genuine, and I am quite happy for him. However, in order for him to mature further along the path of liberation, he has to return to the world to experience more of the difficulties and sufferings of life. To understand all the corners of his own heart, he has to grapple with issues of livelihood, family, and community life. Furthermore, I expect that someday he will be a great teacher, but for this to happen, he has to understand all those issues so that he can have greater compassion and insight into the lives of his students. For this particular monk, this is not going to happen in the monastery.'"

This abbot is pretty dramatic! Reading this story, I was asking myself: what is great fortune? It's hard to say, right? For this brilliant monk, a smooth fast track was quite nice. It was quite nice for a while, and all the life fortunes were quite nice for a while. Yet, the Dharma is much bigger, broader, richer, and deeper.

Having deep meditative experiences and knowledge is great; I don't want to dismiss any of that. Yet, as the story says, to understand all the corners of his own heart, he has to grapple with the issues of livelihood, family, and communities. For me, what this points at is that liberation happens when the maturity^[7] of the whole being, the holistic being, ripens.

There is no such thing as conditional liberation—where you are only liberated if your neighbor's dog stops barking, or when you live in a constant 70-degree room temperature, or when you can have your favorite food once every five days. Liberation is not conditioned. Whatever the conditions that we hope have to be a certain way, maybe all of us are fortunate enough that we are practicing Dharma with good enough conditions in this world. Maybe having a livelihood, a family, and communities to grapple with is the monastery where we can engage in a way that strengthens our heart and mind.

Today in particular, I want to say a few words about practicing in the relational field. This monk, in a rather secluded monastery, may not have had the chance to deal with a wide range of relational fields. For me, I can definitely say that practicing in the relational field—whether it's in the family, in local communities, or in Dharma communities—is so rewarding.

The very fact that we are here together in this virtual way means we are creating a virtual community. As social beings, we live in the relational field; we always influence each other and are being influenced by each other. Practicing in this relational dynamic has many, many benefits. I definitely would not have been able to practice without the support of communities. We mirror each other, and we are mirrored back by each other. Right now, just knowing your presence right here in this global field that we are co-creating is so uplifting, so inspiring. In this way, our practice is a collective path. Even while each of us has a unique unfolding, there is a collective path unfolding right here in this relational field.

When we are practicing in the relational field, it also offers great opportunities for us to work with the challenges that come along. We get to open corners of our heart that might otherwise not be touched. As soon as we engage in the relational field of communities, we will meet differences, disagreements, likes, dislikes, and preferences. It is like yesterday's story, where the 30-year-old man was having a very hard time accepting his older son's behavior and considered it unacceptable. The story didn't give a very detailed elaboration about what the behaviors might be.

How many times are we considering other people's behavior unacceptable because we have a fixed view^[8] on something? It is not necessarily that they are doing anything harmful; they are just different. I remember for a while, when my son was young, he loved to eat with his hands, and I had this idea that it was not clean. But the Buddha ate with his hands. There are still billions of people on this planet eating with their hands. Is that unacceptable? I had to change my own view on this.

How can we live with the differences without harboring ill will, anger, hatred, or aversion? How can we live with the differences while still being in harmony with each other? This is certainly not easy to do, but it is such a worthy dimension of the practice to open up to. When we become more and more skillful in our relational world, in relational fields, the benefit will ripple out into the world at large. It is such a beneficial force for the world at large.

May the collective practicing force that we are engaged in together bring benefit to all beings everywhere. Thank you for your attention, and deep bows to your practice and your engagement. I will see you tomorrow. Bye-bye, everyone.