Happy Hour: Joy!

This is an AI-generated transcript from auto-generated subtitles for the video Happy Hour: Joy!. It likely contains inaccuracies, especially with speaker attribution if there are multiple speakers.

The following talk was given by Nikki Mirghafori at Insight Meditation Center in Redwood City, CA on October 09, 2021. Please visit the website www.audiodharma.org for more information.

Happy Hour: Joy!

Introduction

Okay, there we go. So, hello, hello everyone. A warm, warm welcome. For today's practice together, I wanted to invite us to turn our hearts, our awareness, to metta^[1], which is tinged with joy, with delight. This bright quality of happiness is so nourishing, so supportive for us as human beings.

Whatever the conditions of our lives are, whether we're going through a period of ease—yay!—joy can support us in making it brighter and being of support to ourselves and others. If we're going through a tough time, there can still be space for joy. Joy can actually, especially, be supportive if there are challenges and difficulties, so that sorrow, pain, or dukkha^[2] doesn't become the entire measure of all that we see. It doesn't just suck the air out of the room; it doesn't become all there is. We can notice that, actually, yes, maybe challenges are here, but yes, joy can be present, too. There can be different guests present at the same time: there can be joy, there can be sorrow, etc.

So, with that, the invitation is to turn towards joy today. Whatever you need, I will share with you during the guided meditation. As you know, no previous experience is necessary. So let's begin. Let's begin our practice together.

Guided Meditation

Arriving. Arriving in our body. Arriving in this moment.

As always, we begin with settling the mind, inviting ourselves to arrive gently with the breath, with embodiment. Nowhere to go, nothing to do, but to just sit, or even lie down if that's what the body needs.

Connect. Become aligned, unified. Feeling our bottom on the cushion, the contact points, really connecting. Letting our spine be aligned, our vertebrae. Let the sense of integrity be uplifted from our sit bones. The more stable and wide our base feels, the more connected we feel, the easier we can sit upright, tall like a mountain that is well-connected, well-rooted to the earth.

Imagine there is an internal vertical pull aligning us, aligning our heart, connecting our heart to our head, to our belly. Feeling connected. The breath enlivening this verticality, this vertical pull connecting us to the earth and the skies. Well-rooted to the earth, uplifted to the skies.

Allowing each breath as it moves in to fill out the space of the heart. A sense of alignment, energetic alignment. See which part of this verticality needs more energy. If you're feeling a little too flighty, unsettled, or scattered, then bring more attention to the lower part of this verticality, to the earthiness, connected to the earth. If you're feeling heavy, tired, or sleepy, maybe bring more energy to the upper chest, the upper part connected to the sky.

I invite you now, while you stay embodied—feeling your bottom on the cushion, your feet on the earth, your legs on the earth if you're sitting on a cushion, breath in the abdomen—to bring to mind someone who's easy for us to feel happy for. Think of something that is going well in their lives, so that we naturally feel happy for them.

Choosing someone easy, that doesn't bring a sense of envy. It could be a child, a pet, a friend, a relative, or anyone where you genuinely celebrate. You feel happy, you feel glad for them. There's something good in their lives, anything. Maybe they're healthy after not having been healthy, or in any other areas of life there's a sense of well-being, a gladness that they have, an appreciation they have for an area of their life. Even if they aren't conscious of it, in the case of pets, you are glad for them. You're happy for their goodness, the good fortune they're enjoying. You're glad that they're glad. You're happy that they're happy.

It could even be someone you barely know, as long as it doesn't bring up envy. Maybe they went on a trip recently, maybe you saw the photos on social media, and you're just glad for them. Even if you're not going on a trip right now, you're glad. Yay, somebody in the world is having a lovely experience! Tapping into the generosity of the heart. I'm happy for you. I'm happy that you're happy.

I'm happy that you're happy. May you feel nourished by your happiness. May your happiness continue, may it increase, may it never end.

I had a friend today describe their hiking trip, where they so delighted in the fall foliage, the colors of the leaves, the brightness, the beautiful display of the leaves of autumn. Their description, their happiness, made me so happy. Vicarious delight. Vicarious joy. See what might come up for you. This shared happiness, shared gladness. This interconnected web of humanity. Bringing gladness into our heart as if it was our joy. We experience it right here in this moment, gladdening our heart.

Letting yourself relish, delight in someone else's happiness. Vicarious joy. Sympathetic joy. If we feel happy for other people's happiness, this sense of generosity of heart, generosity of spirit, brings so much gladness. Our heart can swim in it. It can be light. Imagining, relishing this goodness, this blessing. How happy they are. Allowing yourself to rejoice with them, for them. Sharing their joy. I'm happy for your happiness.

Joy is joy, neurobiologically. Our brains don't distinguish between vicarious joy—the joy we experience for the happiness of others—and the joy as if we experienced it ourselves. It's the same nourishing, happy-making joy. See for yourself. We're tuning into a sense of generosity of heart that feels happy with others' happiness. Breathing in their joy as if it's ours. Lightening up our heart.

If you wish, you can stay with others. If you like, now you can turn to yourself, this being who is you. The aspects of your life. What are the blessings in your life, the gifts that you can feel happy for? Your own good fortune, your own happiness. Let your heart relish and shine. This is no time for feeling small or ashamed of your well-being or good fortune. Let yourself relish what is good, and you'll discover there is more than you knew, perhaps. Are they acknowledged? Focusing on the abundance that is also present in your life.

We can choose to focus on what's challenging, and we can choose to focus on what is good. See what happens if you make this choice. Does your heart feel more full with gladness? With ease? With delight? With gratitude?

May my good fortune continue. May it increase, may it never end. Or simply: I'm happy for my own happiness. This being who is me, I'm glad for the goodness in their life. Whatever good fortune, whatever blessings this being who is me enjoys, is graced with, may they continue, may they increase, may they never cease. I delight, I take joy in them.

See if the palm of your hand wants to be placed on your chest, your heart center, connecting with yourself. The goodness, the gratitude for these blessings. Not to make darkness, only darkness, the measure of our existence, but our light, our good fortune, our goodness. Notice if this practice of joy for your own joy transitions naturally into gratitude for the last moments of this practice period. Appreciating our good fortune for practicing together. For having met the dharma^[3]. Such good fortune to be able to practice, to cultivate our hearts and our minds in this way. What a blessing.

To get in touch with our own goodness, our inner Buddha. To benefit from the dharma, the way things are, the teachings. Awakening teachings. And sangha^[4], the good fortune of sangha.

May all beings everywhere have blessings in their lives, be happy, and joyful. May all beings be free, including ourselves.

Thank you all. Thank you for your practice.

Reflections and Q&A

Well, I don't know about you, but I certainly feel lighter and more joyous than when we started. There's this sense of delight and joy, both for others' good fortune and for my own. As I was saying, physiologically, our brains don't distinguish between gladness for somebody else's gladness and gladness for our own. It's just joy! It's the same stuff, it's the same neurotransmitters. We can feel that, actually, when we experience happiness, joy, and gladness. So, I'd love to hear your reflections. What did you discover? What came up for you?

Bill says, "That felt good. Thank you, Nikki." You are so welcome, Bill. I'm glad. You're welcome to raise your hand or type your reflections in chat. What did you discover? Do you feel lighter? Do you feel more joyful? Are you smiling? Yes, I see nods.

I have a reflection sent to me personally. I won't read the name—I treat them as private—but I'll read the reflection. It says, "It's great to end the week on a joyous note." Yes, I agree! It's the perfect Friday, or for those of you on the Asia-Pacific timeline, a perfect Saturday morning practice.

Deborah says, "I appreciated the opportunity to reflect on the simple joys I experienced today. I don't think I realized them until I looked back at the day." Oh, that's lovely! Yay. That's wonderful.

Oh, and I missed this from Bill. Bill says, "Could you review what you said earlier about focusing on the lower or upper body depending on whether you are tired or scattered? Not sure I understood."

Okay, so when I was inviting you, there is this one way we can envision our body or work with what can be termed as the energy body. There are so many different ways to work with the energy body. Don't stop listening thinking, "Wow, energy body, that's advanced." No, no, it's very simple. Let me explain it. What I was bringing forth was inviting you to just have this sense of verticality, as if there was a pull in your body. If you're feeling scattered and everywhere, then bring more attention to the lower part of it. Just feel grounded, like, "Oh, yes." And if you're feeling heavy, tired, and sleepy, then bring more attention and awareness to the upper end of this energy body, the uplift. So that's that. Thanks for asking, Bill.

Aaron says, "I just feel more peaceful. A deep, quieter joy." Oh, beautiful. Beautiful, deep, quieter joy. I love it.

Vicky asks, "When darkness arises, does one replace heavier reminders with lighter sensibility?"

That's an excellent question. It depends. If you're doing a mudita^[5] practice, which is what we just did—vicarious joy—and if darkness, heaviness, or sadness arises, you have two options. One option is to turn towards the darkness with kindness. Then your practice will become compassion, because you're holding suffering and darkness with metta, with kindness. And it's fine! Mudita, compassion, and metta—they're all related; they keep transitioning into one another. So you can do it that way if it feels appropriate.

Another option is you can say, "Hello, darkness, my old friend. I see you. It's okay, you can be here. I'm not gonna push you away. You don't have to go away, but can you sit here and hold witness as I acknowledge the light?" [Laughter] And if it says, "Yeah, okay, I can hang out for a few minutes and let you acknowledge the light," then you can continue with the mudita practice, with the joy practice. And if it says, "No, take care of me," then you can turn to compassion. So those are a couple of ways you can go.

Here's a reflection from Yuka: "Thank you for reminding me I have everything. I just need to remember it more." Oh, that is so sweet. It just makes me happy to no end. The sense of reminding ourselves of the abundance. Thank you for sharing that, Yuka. We've missed the poetry in your words and in your practice.

Sharing Joy

So, dear ones, it is time now to turn to practice in small groups to share our joy. We're going to do it in a round-robin format. One person will say what brings them joy or what they're grateful for, and the next person says what they're grateful for, and the third person says what brings them joy. You just go round and round and listen to each other and feel mudita, feel vicarious joy for each other's goodness.

This is such a happy-making practice! We've done this before in Happy Hour, and it can be so happy-making. So I invite you to engage in sharing your joy, sharing your goodness as a gift of generosity, allowing others to delight in your joy, and for you to delight in theirs.

I've created the rooms, so take care of yourselves and take care of each other. Here we go.

Community Reflections

Okay, welcome back everyone! The rooms are closed. We have a few minutes for reflections. What was that like? What happened? Especially if you haven't spoken or shared for a while, I would love to hear from you.

Deborah says, "We all agree this Happy Hour and the sangha brings us joy." Oh, that's sweet. I see many of you smiling. Bill says, "Agreed." Barbara gives a heart.

Anthony has a physical hand raised. I often don't see physical hands here. There you go, Anthony, please.

Anthony: Thanks for pointing that out. That's exactly what I was gonna say. I have much joy for the dharma teachers at IMS^[6], you know, and for you, Nikki, for just sharing your wisdom with us, giving your time and effort.

Nikki: Thank you, Anthony. And thank you for your practice. It's giving and receiving joy. Our good fortune, yeah. Beautiful, thank you. Any other reflections? We have another minute.

Melanie says, "Thank you, Nikki. Your joy gives me joy." Oh, you're sweet. And your joy gives me joy, Melanie.

Oh, another hand up. Let's see... there you are.

Speaker: Hey Nikki. I'd like to express gratitude to Zoom. Because I think this sangha is not possible without this technology. And as the amazing group that I was in pointed out, it would be great if we were all physically together, but I'm very grateful that we can meet this way.

Nikki: Yes, absolutely! And given that right now you're in Japan—wow! Here we have this international sangha from different places in the world and different time zones. Yes, gratitude to technology, gratitude to Zoom. Actually, I get chills saying this, it's amazing, right? Ten years ago, who would have imagined having this kind of international sangha? That we could come together and practice, get into small groups, and share. So much gratitude. Thank you all, that's a beautiful point.

Oh, I see Deborah, your hand. If it's quick, because we're out of time, actually.

Deborah: Shall I just... similarly, I mentioned that I have two new friends that I've never met, that I've met through being in class with. One's in Singapore and one's in San Diego, and they're delightful, loving people. It just boggles my mind how this happened. It is a silver lining. And I'll mute myself.

Nikki: Thank you, thank you so much.

And Eileen says, "I might have taken today's joys for granted if it weren't for this session. Thank you." You are so welcome, Carmen.

So, dear ones, thank you so much for your practice. For showing up with your hearts, with your minds, with your full beings, and with your joys and sorrows, too. All of it included. May we all be happy, may we all be free. All beings everywhere. Thank you.