Guided Meditation: Quality of Inner Life; Dharmette: Vedanā (4 of 5) Feelings with and without Clinging

This is an AI-generated transcript from auto-generated subtitles for the video Guided Meditation: Quality of Inner Life Vedana (4 of 5) Feelings With and Without Clinging. It likely contains inaccuracies, especially with speaker attribution if there are multiple speakers.

The following talk was given by Gil Fronsdal at Insight Meditation Center in Redwood City, CA on July 08, 2021. Please visit the website www.audiodharma.org for more information.

Guided Meditation: Quality of Inner Life

Good morning, good day, everyone. I am happy to have this time with you to share the Dharma and to meditate together. The topic this week is vedanā^[1], the feeling tones of our experience.

There are layers of such within us. There is a kind of journey and practice to go deeper and deeper to discover vedanā—feelings of pleasant and unpleasant which are reliable or supportive for us, and to not invest so much in feelings which are not reliable.

The idea is that these sensual feelings, as valuable as they sometimes can be, are more unreliable. They're not enduring. The senses need to be continually stimulated. There is something to be found deeper inside. One way to access or think about it is as the quality of our inner being—below the surface, below our concerns for what's happening in our daily life, our relationship to other people, and the comfort levels of our lives as they occur in the moment. If we really settle into the inner life, what quality is that? What is the feeling tone of that? Is it a place of comfort, warmth, and well-being, or is it a place of anxiety, distress, anger, or annoyance? What is down there?

Depending on how it is, it's possible to see it as either being pleasant or unpleasant. Seeing it with that simplicity is meant to be a way of being a little bit free of it, not getting entangled in the complexity of it. Just very simply seeing that aspect of it that's pleasant, unpleasant, or neither. What I'd like to propose for this sitting, as you settle down and connect deeper and deeper within you, is that if what you find is unpleasant, you tell yourself, "Not that, that's not it." So you keep stepping back or looking deeper, because one of the places of wonderfulness is the awareness that knows what's happening.

We don't need to get entangled or caught in what is unpleasant because we can keep going deeper or settling back more and recognizing that simply being aware, perceiving, and being mindful in there offers some freedom from the unpleasant. That kind of freedom, that clarity of mindfulness and clear recognition, has a kind of pleasure to it, a goodness to it. That's where we begin tapping into something like well-being within. And if along the way, before you discover that freedom of awareness, you do find that the inner life has some pleasantness, warmth, or goodness to it, that too is "not it." "No, not this, not this." But do it with no aversion, with no sense of pushing it away. Rather, do it as a way of keeping opening and opening, so we are not stuck with anything.

Assume a meditation posture that is supportive for you. Take a few long, slow, deep breaths. These are deep breaths of initiation, sensing that you are stepping into a sacred dimension, initiating yourself into this inner world of awareness of the here and now.

Let go of the thoughts and concerns of the day as you exhale, settling into your body. Then let your breathing return to normal. Perhaps relax your body further. With the relaxation, settle deeper and deeper into your body, your being.

Tension is a way of being at the surface of our body; there's a tense surface. As tension relaxes, we can settle in. On the exhale, relax the face. On the exhale, relax the shoulders. On the exhale, soften the belly. And on the exhale, relax the mind.

Any tension associated with thinking, let that soften, quiet, and relax. Any contraction associated with thinking, let that open up. Then settle into your breathing.

For a few breaths, think of the breathing, the rhythm of breathing, as a guide inward to your inner life, the quality of your inner state. Breathe with it, letting go of thoughts enough so you can sense and feel here and now how you are deep inside.

If you really feel yourself inside, within, how are you? How are you, really? Notice if it is pleasant, unpleasant, or neither. Keep it that simple. Rather than getting pulled into the complexity of it, simply be aware of how it is pleasant or unpleasant. Maybe that can be a perspective that gives you some freedom.

Feel yourself deep inside, and maybe tell yourself, "Not this, this is not the heart of the matter." No aversion, no desire. Just freedom in relationship to how you feel, as you search deeper and deeper within to a place of freedom. A freedom that is not separate from flowing along with the rhythm of breathing.

As we come to the end of the sitting, to whatever degree you are aware of having an inner life—or if an "inner life" seems too complicated, you have an inner place where you feel the depths of life, the depths of yourself. The places that are most intimate and tender. The places inside which maintain the more enduring feelings about just being alive and being present. This is a part of ourselves to care for, to respect, to love, to nourish, and to support.

Just as you have such an inner life, a feeling tone, a place of depth inside where your greatest capacity for peace and happiness resides, so do others. We know that this inner world we have can be in turmoil and be challenging, and that life challenges it in all kinds of ways. But if we realize that others have this inner depth, this inner potential, and that this is where the greatest well-being and happiness resides, perhaps we can look beyond the surface behavior and activities of people. We can have some care for them as beings of depth. Some attention, some respect, maybe even reverence for the potential everyone has in the depths of their inner intimacy and tenderness. If they are not peaceful there, they are suffering.

Be attuned to this depth in others, and from that connection to them, wish them well. Relate to them with compassion and kindness, and wish for them the best. May their inner life be happy and find real welfare and benefit.

May all beings be happy in their core. May all beings be safe, and feel safe at the very core of their being. May all beings be peaceful deep inside the core of who they are. May they know peace. May all beings be free. May their good hearts be set free so they too can live for the welfare and happiness of others. May we all live for each other's care. May we all have as our concern the welfare and happiness of others.

Dharmette: Vedanā (4 of 5) Feelings with and without Clinging

For this fourth talk on vedanā, feeling tones: we have a capacity to recognize when things are pleasant, when things are unpleasant, and when they are neither pleasant nor unpleasant. If we don't recognize it, these underlying tendencies—these habits or drives of the mind—can pick up almost automatically, maybe even take over. In the presence of something that's pleasant, there can be strong desire and wanting. In the presence of something which is unpleasant, there can be aversion, pushing away, and not wanting it. In the presence of what is neither pleasant nor unpleasant, there can be confusion and delusion.

Partly, this is because we are very oriented to looking for what's pleasant and unpleasant. That is, for some people, a fundamental orientation to find their way in the world: always looking for pleasure. In fact, for some people who practice mindfulness and really start seeing what is operating in their minds and hearts when they go through the world, it can be quite an embarrassment or a shock to discover how much we are motivated by pleasant and unpleasant feelings, and how much we react to that and search for it.

We can appreciate that when things are neither pleasant nor unpleasant, there can be confusion about which way to go or what to do. Or there can be delusion, where we make up fantasies to fill in the gap, the vacuum—pleasant fantasies or unpleasant fantasies to fill it in and make it understandable. These fundamental drives, these underlying tendencies, can get triggered, awakened, or wait in the wings ready to step up in the presence of what is pleasant, unpleasant, or neither.

If we can be aware of things being pleasant, unpleasant, or neither—really be aware with this clear recognition and clear comprehension I talked about recently, "Now, this is pleasant"—it makes things a lot simpler. Not to be simplistic or reductionist, but it gives us a very realistic and helpful perspective. It helps us to leave the pleasant and unpleasant alone and not have the automatic underlying tendencies kick in and carry us away.

Situations can be quite complicated, and if we try to react, respond, and figure out the complication of it, we might actually get pulled in. Then the desires and aversions have a chance to start operating. By making it very simple—"Oh, that's an unpleasant situation, that's uncomfortable"—sometimes we don't get pulled in or sucked in such that the desires and aversions sneak in through the back door.

If we can see clearly, "Oh, it's unpleasant," that clear seeing doesn't make room for the underlying tendencies to get involved. Or, if they do arise, it's so clear that they are there that we don't have to do anything with them; we can just leave them alone. There's a desire for more of something pleasant, and so you see it's just a desire. Or there's aversion to something unpleasant, and it's just an aversion. For some of us, desires are a dime a dozen. For others, aversions are a dime a dozen. But if we are on automatic pilot, yielding constantly to desire and aversion, it's an exhausting life, and it's not a free life.

So, to begin clearly recognizing "this is pleasant" or "this is unpleasant," without leaving a back door open for desire, aversion, confusion, or delusion to come in and sweep us away, is one of the very powerful things about this practice.

As we don't get swept away—as compulsive desires and aversions don't take over—then there starts to be space for non-desire, non-aversion, non-clinging, non-grasping, non-pushing away, and non-hostility. That space that opens up is a pleasant space. It is a feeling, a place where there starts to be breathing room for our inner life, breathing room for other energies, forces, or sentiments to begin appearing and bubbling up.

It allows for equanimity to be there. Equanimity is not a neutral thing; it comes with a very strong sense of well-being. When it is strong, there is room for generosity, kindness, and love. There is room for delight, joy, and appreciation. There is so much more room for these good qualities in the heart when there is no clinging and no grasping on things.

The Buddha made a distinction between those feeling tones which come along with compulsive desires, aversions, confusions, and delusions as part and parcel of them, and those that don't. For example, if I win the California lottery and have a lot of greed for that, I could be very happy, joyful, or delighted for a while. But it's a joy that comes with a strong attachment and clinging to wealth and all the fantastic things I can do with it. I have read that they have done studies of people who won lotteries, and a year after they won these big pots of money, they are actually less happy than they were before. So much of our hope is put into compulsive desire and aversion, hoping they are going to fix us and do something, but they don't.

The alternative is to let go into non-clinging. There is a joy, delight, and pleasantness that comes with that. The Buddha makes a distinction between two kinds of pleasantness and two kinds of unpleasantness. The unpleasantness of letting go is knowing that there is more letting go to do. Sometimes we feel longing or feel like something is not quite right here; it is a little unpleasant to still feel contracted and tight because we now know something about freedom. So the distinction is made between the feeling tones that are associated with clinging and the feeling tones that are associated with non-clinging.

The Buddha referred to it in a few different ways. Literally, he said the first is "of the flesh" and the other is "not of the flesh." How I interpret that is that "of the flesh" points to places where our ordinary sense apparatus are operating—touch, taste, seeing, and hearing—where our senses are stimulated. "Not of the flesh" means that there is something that wells up from within that happens independently of what is happening in our environment and independently of our conceits or mental attachments. If our mental attachments are challenged or supported, there can be a kind of inner well-being that's not of the senses in the ordinary way. A beautiful quality wells up inside, and it almost feels like it's not of the flesh. It almost feels like it is there for no reason. It feels almost like the natural wellspring of life. It is there due to causes and conditions, but it has this feeling of being free of the ordinary causes and conditions of our life. So he called it "of the flesh" and "not of the flesh." Some translators translate it as worldly and unworldly, or worldly and spiritual, but I like "of the flesh" and "not of the flesh."

Another way the Buddha talked about it is as the vedanā associated with domestic life versus that associated with the renunciant life. That usually doesn't work very well for an English-speaking modern audience. But if we understand that the surface of domestic life is often involved with all kinds of sensual pursuits—the most clear association with sensual desire in domestic life being sexuality—then we see the difference. The renunciant life is not as concerned with sexuality.

The pursuit of all kinds of pleasures in domestic life keeps us so busy that sometimes we don't have time to meditate, whereas a renunciant life is not pursuing sensual pleasures, but pursuing a deeper pleasure that is not of the senses, not of the world. The word "renunciant" might have negative connotations for some English speakers, but the Pali word probably had a very different association in the minds of ancient people. Maybe we could call it a sacred life: there is the domestic life and the sacred life. Perhaps it's unfortunate to make a sharp distinction between the two concepts, as the sacred life can be found in the domestic life.

But the real thing the Buddha is pointing to is the distinction between pleasant and unpleasant experiences associated with clinging, and those associated with non-clinging or non-grasping. Those which come out of non-grasping are more reliable and more enduring. They are the ones that are more nourishing for something deep inside. They are so deeply satisfying that if you have never tasted it, it's hard to understand why. It feels so good to have access to something inside that is not dependent on the world being just right, or on everybody treating you the way you think they should. To know something about the deep sense of freedom that can come with non-clinging, and the pleasantness of it—even though "pleasantness" might seem too trite, minimalistic, or reductionist for how marvelous and wonderful the experience of inner freedom can be.

Being attuned to this distinction between pleasures that involve clinging and pleasures that involve non-clinging helps us to find our way. It is meant to be inspiring, helping us find more and more freedom and not get caught in our clinging. So, thank you. Maybe for the next 24 hours, you might see if that distinction is something you can feel in your own experience: the pleasure that comes with clinging and that which doesn't. Thank you.