Happy Hour: Recognizing Goodness

This is an AI-generated transcript from auto-generated subtitles for the video Happy Hour: Recognizing Goodness. It likely contains inaccuracies, especially with speaker attribution if there are multiple speakers.

The following talk was given by Nikki Mirghafori at Insight Meditation Center in Redwood City, CA on September 28, 2023. Please visit the website www.audiodharma.org for more information.

Introduction

Hello, everyone. Hi! If you can hear me okay, give me a thumbs up. Fantastic. Great. Hi, I'm Nikki in Mountain View, California, on unceded Ohlone land, and welcome to Happy Hour. Who would like to say hi? You're welcome to unmute yourself or put your hello in the chat as a way for us to warm up with friendliness and warmth.

[Participants share greetings in the chat]

Okay, we're going to get started then. Thank you, Neil, for posting information on Zoom about our Google Groups. We have a low-traffic mailing list, and there is also information about how to offer yourself and other folks safety and care when we transition to small groups after the meditation.

At this time, I've changed the settings so unmuting won't be possible, so the space stays quiet. I ask you to keep the chat quiet as well; it can be distracting to receive chats in the middle of a session. Last but not least, I've turned on recording for the sake of AudioDharma.

Happy Hour: Recognizing Goodness

This week, for those of you who also attend the 7:00 a.m. teachings that Gail usually does, I'm substituting for Gail. I'm covering a teaching on what are called the Five Aggregates, the five heaps, or the five khandhas^[1].

This morning, I talked about perception or recognition. This amazing capacity, this constituent of our experience, is the act of recognizing and perceiving what arises in our field of experience—to recognize it and say, "This is that." Basically, we are pattern-recognition machines. Given our background, our history, and our mind states, this recognition is dependently arisen based on many factors. Recognizing "this is that" is what saññā^[2] is. Recognition in Buddhism points to something much simpler than the concept of recognition or perception in psychology.

So, how does this relate to Happy Hour?

The way I'd like to invite us to practice with this today is by recognizing that our recognition is very shiftable and changeable. It is not fixed. It is not inherent in a particular person, object, or situation. It is malleable. Our recognition or classification of something as friendly or unfriendly, or good or bad, is very, very malleable. This is one of the primary teachings of the Buddha, which relates to the concept of emptiness. When we hear the word "emptiness," we often think of nullness, but it is really about dependent origination—the idea that our recognition is dependent on many different things, including our state of mind and how we have primed ourselves.

Things are not fixed; they are malleable and changeable. There is not a single "Truth" or "Reality" with a capital "R" out there; it is all phenomenologically determined. And so is our level of freedom and our level of happiness. We have talked about how happiness is a choice you make. In many ways, our perception and recognition are primed through our experiences and how we cultivate our minds and hearts.

If we turn towards friendliness, if we turn towards a perception of safety, goodness, kindness, and happiness, that is the perception that arises. That is the state that arises. This is really, really powerful. When we perceive things, people, thoughts, objects, and our own behavior in a friendly way, there is more freedom. Then, we perhaps do not judge things in such a judgmental way. There is more freedom from clinging, from becoming identified, and from being fixed in a particular view.

Anyway, I am going to leave that as the priming for our guided meditation. You don't have to have heard my talk this morning at all; everything you need to know has been shared with you right now, both in the Dharma talk as well as in the guided meditation. You can let all of those thoughts and concepts go. Let's turn to practicing together. Let's arrive together.

Guided Meditation

Let's turn our awareness to this body, in this moment in time, regardless of whatever has been happening just before this moment. Maybe you were busy, full, agitated. It's all okay, not a problem.

Can we intentionally bring a perception of spaciousness? Can we intentionally recognize that there is a lot of spaciousness around? There's a lot of air around us, space around us. Letting ourselves recognize and access the space outside our bodies. Our hearts can relax. Know this: there is space inside, and more space with each in-breath and out-breath as we settle.

Letting the body, the mind, and the heart relax. They can be put down. If there are preoccupations, instead of being stuck in a loop, turn to the perception of openness and ease. That is here as well with each breath. You can always pick up the entanglement later. We can choose to perceive spaciousness, ease, and a sense of refuge in the heart and mind. In this moment, it is available.

And we expand this perception of spaciousness to include the perception or recognition of relative safety. You're probably indoors, protected, and safe enough from the elements. Of course, there is not absolute safety in this world, and yet, instead of tuning into a perception of a lack of safety, we can choose to perceive and recognize that there is safety. It's an inclination, a pattern of the mind we can turn towards, recognizing that you are comfortable enough, perhaps, where you are sitting and meditating.

Opening and turning this knowing, this perception, to include the goodwill that is available for you. Many people in this world have wished you well, wish you well now, are friendly towards you, and care about you. It could just be a few people; you don't need a crowd. But turning towards this perception, this perception of friendliness, maybe from a child or a pet. This recognition of goodness. Let yourself smile and enjoy it. It's a recognition of goodwill. You have a choice, and you choose to lean into it, to recognize it.

Let yourself savor the recognition of goodwill, kindness, and generosity around you, for you or others, wherever the heart feels uplifted in its recognition, in its perception of goodness. You may have received support, kind words, a smile. There are so many ways of receiving goodness. Letting your heart be uplifted by recognizing the goodness around you, and your own goodness. To recognize it, to receive it, to let yourself receive it. It is an act of generosity to let ourselves receive generosity. It is an act of goodwill to let ourselves receive goodwill, friendliness, and care.

Now, if you like, letting yourself recognize, turn towards, and perceive the goodness in you. Not shying away from it. Turning towards a perception of goodness, kindness, generosity, and care, and letting it nourish your heart and uplift you.

And now, if you like, you can stay with these two recognitions: receiving and giving of goodness, mettā^[3], goodwill, and generosity of spirit. Or, if you like, you can turn to the perception of recognizing the conditions for happiness that are available in your life. Our minds usually turn to what's not here, what's challenging, what's difficult. Perceive and recognize the supportive conditions for the mind to be at peace, uplifted with gladness and contentment. Maybe a roof over your head. Maybe friends, family, living in a situation that's safe enough. No world wars right now. A stable period, no lockdowns, the world is relatively normal. Appreciating that you have food to eat, that you are supported in so many ways.

And now recognizing your support for enough health that you can show up, listen, comprehend, follow, and understand this practice. Recognizing the conditions that support happiness and contentment of the body. Even if illness or old age might be present, you are well enough. Can you recognize that?

Recognizing the wholesomeness of your conditions. You have a precious human birth. There is so much opportunity to wake up. Go through the support, as well as the challenges of your life, as grist for the mill of awakening^[4], of growing in compassion. Recognizing the goodness of even the challenges. The way they stretch you, open you up, soften, and tenderize you.

As we turn to close this meditation together, can we recognize and perceive goodness in ourselves, in our community, in our circumstances? Having been able to show up and come together in practice. If you are listening to this later on AudioDharma, the goodness of being able to do this, to listen to this, and join many others—maybe not in time, but in spirit.

May all beings everywhere benefit from this co-created goodness. May they benefit, may they recognize goodness. May I recognize the goodness in my life. May this practice be of service to all beings everywhere, including myself.

Thank you. Thanks, everyone. Thanks for your practice.

Post-Meditation Reflections

Recognition and perceiving can take on so many different forms. You can choose to put on a grumpy perception and look through the lens of grumpiness, or you can choose a perception of gratitude, appreciation, and kindness. I'd like to invite us to engage in small groups with this idea of choosing our perceptions. What do we choose to recognize, and how do we choose to recognize it?

Let us engage in small groups, exploring this for our own benefit. The two other people in your group are just holding witness. They are perceiving goodness. You are only speaking and exploring for your own benefit; you are not speaking for their benefit. And if you are listening and you didn't even understand what they said, it's okay. Don't ask questions. You are just holding witness and letting them explore. We are serving each other in this beautiful way.

Give it a try. As one of you reported on Monday, "I just really appreciated that sense of safety. Let me explore for my own sake: How was this practice? What did I recognize from turning to and choosing to perceive goodness? What shifted? What happened?"

Please offer one short nugget, or rather, explore a short nugget, and let the next person do the same. Then it comes back to you, and you go round and round a few times. It's not a long monologue. After you hear others, you get inspired to explore some more. Let's go in alphabetical order according to your first name. Take care of yourselves, take care of each other, be kind, and lean into the perception of goodness. How can we lean into that? Okay, I'm going to open up the rooms and see what you discover. Let yourself be surprised. Here we go.

Q&A and Reflections

Okay, the rooms are closed. Welcome back, everyone. The chat is open if you'd like to share any questions or reflections about what you discovered, either in the meditation or when you were exploring in the small groups. Also, if you haven't spoken in the large group for a while, I invite you to pull forward, raise your hand, and bring your voice in. If you have spoken recently, please pull back and let others share reflections.

Bill: I was struck in this meditation by something I've noticed before, which is that negative perceptions have such a strong pull. There's a very twisted sort of enjoyment in thinking of all these things that are wrong. It's not healthy, but the pull is so strong. I don't know if I have a question here; I'm just making an observation.

Nikki Mirghafori: Thank you, Bill. This is a terrific observation. What you just shared is called an insight. It's an insight that comes from practice—when you really pay attention, you see, "Wow, there is such a strong pull. There's this habit pattern of the mind going there." And then, "Oh my, there's also enjoyment." Even though it's not healthy and doesn't really feel good, the mind seems to be enjoying being in this grumpy, negative state of perception. It is so profound to know this and to see it clearly, as you have. Many people go through their entire lives and never see this clearly. Seeing it clearly is the first step to weakening this pull. When you see the pull, it starts to lose its hold, its energy, and its power. It happens little by little. So this is just terrific. I'm so glad you've observed this for your own sake and shared it with the community.

Nikki Mirghafori: Cher in the chat says, "I like the idea of seeing a challenge as something to lean into and seeing it as a gift to have this challenge." Yes, they stretch us, they mold us, and it's a gift to be alive and to have challenges to grow through.

Nikki Mirghafori: Vicky on YouTube says, "I'll share that I feel more ease after doing this practice, much less grumpy." Oh, that's great! Sweet. Are there any other reflections before we bring our time together to a close? Anything else you noticed? Fred, I saw your hand show up and disappear. Please raise your hand if that was intentional.

Fred: Yes, sorry, my fumbling fingers. I'm aware when doing this meditation, and often others like it, that when we come back to reflect upon our own goodness, there's just not as much juice in it when I consider myself. I can think of a friend or a family member, and if I wanted, I could establish some sort of critical distance from them and say, "Well, of course, they reap all these benefits from their unselfishness and generosity. Some sort of wise selfishness is at play." But I don't do that with them. I just admire their presence and their actions. But I find it harder with myself. Not entirely—I'm realistic about it. I see that I can do things that are kind and generous, but I cannot step into the sort of full-throated experience of it like I can for a beloved family member or friend.

Nikki Mirghafori: Thank you for seeing this and verbalizing it so clearly and eloquently, Fred. This is common, and I so appreciate you bringing it into the container of our community practice today. A couple of reflections. First, since you already said that it is easy for you to do this with people you care about—friends and family—to just rejoice in their goodness without being critical and let your heart be uplifted, that's fantastic! That means this capacity is already available. It's like in math when we use Q.E.D.^[5]: we reduce the problem to an already solved problem. The solution is already available.

So what I suggest is to step away from yourself and see yourself as your friends, loved ones, and relatives see you. Take that third-person perspective, because your heart and mind already know how to do that. Over time, try rejoicing in your own goodness from this third-person view. In fact, a good step would be to put yourself in a group. Take your perspective of seeing a friend, and then multiple friends and family members, and add yourself to their group. It's a group that you are seeing the goodness of. Skillfully bring the group together so that the energy of rejoicing is going towards you too, Fred. Think, "Oh, he's such a good person, generous, kind. Look at his goodness as well as this other person's." The heart can rejoice, and little by little, you can turn towards yourself as an individual, and then turn to yourself as yourself. Break it down into these multiple steps.

Fred: Thanks, that's really helpful. Thank you.

Nikki Mirghafori: Thanks, Fred, this is exciting! Yay! Thanks so much for bringing this in. I am rejoicing in your goodness, the goodness of your question, Fred, and your practice. I invite you to rejoice in my rejoicing of your goodness, generosity, and kindness! [Laughter]

So, dear ones, let's dedicate the merit of our practice together. May we perceive goodness in the world. May we grow through our perception and our recognition, and help goodness grow in the world. May all beings be well. May all beings be happy, including ourselves. Thank you. Thanks, everyone. Be well.