Dharmette: Wise Speech (2 of 5) Truthful Speech

This is an AI-generated transcript from auto-generated subtitles for the video Guided Meditation: True to Oneself; Wise Speech (2 of 5) Truthful Speech. It likely contains inaccuracies, especially with speaker attribution if there are multiple speakers.

The following talk was given by Gil Fronsdal at Insight Meditation Center in Redwood City, CA on August 29, 2023. Please visit the website www.audiodharma.org for more information.

Guided Meditation

Welcome.

Maybe I already feel kind of quiet. This topic of speech, today's topic is truth^[1]. Mindfulness meditation is the practice of being truthful to oneself. We often talk about a simple recognition of what's happening in the present moment, and some people use mental noting. Noting what's happening in the moment with a little mental note: breathing in, breathing out, hearing, itching. But those are all small, little statements of truth, saying what is true in the moment in our sensory experience.

But also, we can say the truth about other things, like, "Now I'm quiet. I feel quiet internally," or "I'm agitated," or "I'm happy or sad." It's the accumulation of these simple, freely given moments of truth that build in meditation, that help us to grow in the Dharma^[2], help us to become quiet, help us to become clear, unconflicted. So you might think of meditation as the continuous act of being truthful, being true to this moment, becoming aware of what's happening truthfully.

And this, of course, means much more than just recognizing that we're breathing in and breathing out. It's really recognizing how we actually are: the quality of the heart, the quality of the inner being, how we're showing up in the world at this moment. Recognizing what we're avoiding and hiding from, or recognizing the emotions, the beliefs, the feelings that are driving the distracted mind, the preoccupied mind, the concerned mind.

And the continuous act of being truthful creates a change. Something different happens with us under the influence of just being true. Eventually, we discover what a relief it is. There's a freedom to be found in the capacity, the ability to be truthful, to say the truth to ourselves. And it might not be actually using words; it might be a deeper knowing that this is what's happening, this is what it is.

So as we meditate today, you might want to keep in mind that what we're practicing is not concentration, not calm, not being present for the present moment. All those things help and support what is the heart of meditation, which is being truthful—being true to this moment, how it actually is.

So, assuming a meditation posture. Sometimes the emphasis is on the word "dignified posture." There's a dignity in showing up to be truthful, to be the truth, to be true. There's a dignity, a nobility, to be a true person. To stand tall, to sit still and sit tall, to lay down tall here.

Gently lowering the gaze if the eyes are open, and then perhaps closing the eyes.

Gently breathing a little deeper. Just deep enough that you feel a fuller connection to your torso, your body, your belly, and chest. And a longer exhale than usual, long enough to let something relax in your body, giving way, easing up. Breathing out a little longer so that the thinking mind can quiet down, the thinking mind can relax.

Letting breathing return to normal. And if you're quiet for a few moments, to feel and sense and know yourself. What is true for you right now? In what way can truth-telling, recognizing the truth, be quieting? Be freeing? Be opening? Something inside, something in the mind or the heart, responds positively to the recognition of what is true for you right now.

Sometimes how we breathe is influenced by how we are. And there's a way of being grounded or being settled in what's true, whether it's comfortable or not, by recognizing how it is in the breathing itself. Gently let the rhythm of breathing be like a massage or a kind physical contact, touching what is true within.

When you notice that you're distracted, don't worry about that. Don't be concerned or rush back to the breath. Instead, just be truthful. Truthfully recognize that you're distracted. Let it be a moment of truth-telling or truth recognition that is satisfying in and of itself, that's freeing, that is healing and growing. Recognizing how things are without any conflict, just the truth.

However you are, recognizing it honestly, truthfully. Maybe taking the time to feel into yourself what's below the surface. And in the truth-telling, might there be some relief, some opening, some making space for how you are?

And then, as we come to the end of this meditation, take a few moments to appreciate the value, benefits, and goodness of telling the truth to ourselves. Growth, healing, freedom, even love and compassion grow better when we are truthful to ourselves, to what's happening with ourselves and our response to the world.

And may it be that our capacity to be truthful serves for the benefit and welfare of all people, including ourselves. May it be on this day that our meditation practice, our truth-telling, is dedicated to the benefit of everyone. May all beings be happy. May all beings be safe. May all beings be peaceful. And may all beings be free.

Thank you.

Dharmette: Wise Speech (2 of 5) Truthful Speech

Good morning, good day.

This is the second talk on the five criteria that the Buddha used for wise speech^[3]. These five criteria can be taken as questions that we ask ourselves before we speak. Yesterday I talked about the question: Is it timely? Is it the right time to say what we want to say, to ask what we want to ask? Today the question is: Is it truthful? Are we speaking the truth?

I kind of like it that this is the second criterion. The first we ask is if it's timely. That's kind of like the high end, like even the truth might not be timely; it might not be the right time to speak the truth. If we start with truth, then maybe we speak inappropriately at times when it doesn't help, maybe even harms or makes things more difficult. So, is it timely? Then today, is it truthful?

Of course, the topic of what is true and how we recognize the truth can be philosophically or linguistically complex. But a simple way of understanding it is that the minimum that the truth involves is an absence of deceit. There's no intention, no effort to deceive anybody with what we're saying, what we're doing. With deception, we're clearly not speaking the truth.

Other times we might be attempting to say what's true, or we think we say what's true, but it might not be true. But we're not intentionally trying to be deceitful. We're trying to be truthful. One of the ways to strengthen our capacity or heighten our capacity to be true is, when we say something, to follow up immediately with the basis upon which we think it's true. Why do we think something is true?

For example, rather than saying, "Today is a great day," you can say, "It's my interpretation that it's a great day." We're saying on what basis we're making the claim; it's an interpretation, or it's a great day for me, rather than just making a blanket statement for everyone. So be a little more specific and say what the basis is for something.

The Buddha emphasized this^[4]. He said, especially with religious statements, on the basis of what do you make a religious or spiritual claim? Is it based on your faith? Is it based on your reasoning? Is it based on the tradition you're in, or what a teacher has said? Is it based on something you've experienced? Because even experience is interpreted and it's personal. As soon as you make these caveats or explanations, it's not a declarative statement, and declarative statements are questionable as to how truthful they are. But if you specify or contextualize how you came to this conclusion, then it's easier to participate in a conversation with others, and it's also easier to stay closer to what's true.

So, to be truthful: Is this truthful, what I'm going to say? How can I say it so it's truthful? To be truthful today to all of you, I can say that I value this idea of truth, and the Buddha emphasized it, and I would like to try to explain my interpretation of why this is important. You know that now I'm speaking the truth and I'm contextualizing what I'm going to say, so you don't have to automatically assume that I'm making declarative statements of what's absolutely true in the universe. Rather, it's my interpretation, and you'll have to hear it and see what's true for you as you hear it and what works for you.

Speaking the truth is a way to heal, it's a way to grow, it's a way to mend relationships, it's a way of connecting more deeply to others. We connect more deeply when we're truthful. When we're deceitful, we're actually creating barriers between connectivity, between people, and a kind of alienation, a separation.

It's probably true to say that spiritually, there's no spiritual growth, there's no growth in the Dharma without a dedication to being truthful, to the truth. The truth is that important. And ultimately, maybe what we're looking for is to become not just truthful, but to become a true person. A person is true in how they live their lives, how they express their lives, how they speak. Asking ourselves the question before speaking, "Is this true?" or "How can I speak what I want to say in a way that feels truthful to me?"

It's also a very powerful practice. I think of speaking the truth as being mindfulness out loud. Mindfulness meditation or mindfulness practice for oneself is really a continual act of saying the truth to ourselves, saying the truth of what's happening in our experience and not deceiving ourselves. So doing that out loud, being truthful and honest, is mindfulness out loud.

If we feel that we want to lie, if we feel we want to kind of bend the truth in some way, this is a really useful time for deepening our own introspection, to really take a good look at what's happening here with me now. Because what motivates the desire to lie? What motivates being deceitful? Is it fear? Is it greed? Is it anger? Is it conceit of some type, avoiding embarrassment or hiding from people so they don't know who we are or what we do? Is it to try to get our way in the world? What's motivating it?

The advantage of asking the question, "What's motivating my desire to lie?" is that the deeper motivations are an important place of practice. That's an important place of really looking deeply because the opportunity there is to discover what we're attached to, to discover what we're clinging to, what kind of conceit or self-making we're involved in, so that we can begin dissolving it, so we can become freer from these kinds of attachments.

There's a kind of delight that exists in Dharma practice of recognizing where we're caught, recognizing our attachments. The delight is there because we realize, "Oh, this is where the practice is. Now I get to practice. This is good." Rather than assuming that Buddhist practice is all about joy and delight and kind of skipping in the clouds in a happy-go-lucky way, Buddhist practice is a lot about this deeper truth-telling and a deep appreciation for the value of doing so—seeing our attachments and clinging so that we can be on the path of freedom from it all. So rather than seeing our attachments as bad news to identify, there's a way in which, if we're committed to being truthful, it's good news.

I think that the dedication to be truthful begins highlighting all the little ways we exaggerate, the little ways we bend the truth. Maybe sometimes we do it for what we think is the sake of the other person, so as not to hurt them or upset them, and so that seems good, some compassion or care involved in that. But is it necessary to be deceitful, to lie?

Part of the art of speaking the truth in our relationships with others is to avoid causing harm and avoid lying. Sometimes that takes some cleverness, or takes some consideration, or reframing the conversation, or sometimes even responding with a non-sequitur. Or finding some way to say something that maybe satisfies the person's question but doesn't really address it, because to address it honestly would just be complicated.

That's a classic example someone gives: Someone is dressed for their wedding, about to go into the ceremony, and they ask you, "What do you think of my dress or my suit or my clothes?" And you think it's pretty gaudy or the wrong color combination, the colors clash or something. But you don't want to say that just before someone goes into their wedding, the truthful statement about what you really think. So what can you say that's truthful? You might say, "Wow, it looks really tailor-made, it really fits your body really well." You say something that's truthful that is not your first impression but something that you have to think about and tell yourself, "Yeah, I can speak about that." And that maybe settles the person or allows people to kind of go along.

To be truthful and speak the truth when there's conflict and challenges can be very hard. This is why it's important to remember the first criterion: Is it the right time to have an honest conversation with someone? Are they ready for it? Are you ready for it? But then the other three criteria, which we'll go over the next days, also come into play. It's not only, "Is it truthful, and therefore I should say it?" It's, "Is it truthful, and can I say it in a useful way? Can I say it in a supportive way? How can I say the truth so that it's beneficial?" We'll talk more about this as we go along here.

Is it true, and what happens to you when you ask that question? Today, as you go about your day, you might have occasion to speak. If there's enough self-reflection as you're about to speak, maybe you could ask yourself the question: "Is what I'm about to say truthful? Is it truthful in a simple and clear way, or is it truthful in an exaggerated way, or an understated way, or leaving something out? Why am I adjusting myself in speaking the truth? What's the motivation for that?" I'm not saying your motivation is wrong because of that, but start looking more deeply. Is it truthful? Can you be truthful? What motivates any kind of moving away from the really clear, simple, truthful statement?

It's a great practice. Maybe before you go to sleep, or at some point near the end of the day, just review what you've talked about through the day. Review it a little bit for this question of truth: How truthful was I today? Where could I have been more truthful? Where could I have been wiser about how I spoke the truth? Where was I twisting the truth a little bit, and why? Sometimes it's hard to do this exercise live in the present moment as we're speaking, but sometimes reviewing it can really help us to see what's going on.

I offer you this not to highlight something bad about yourself, but really to highlight your capacity to grow and develop and heal in some deep way within. It's a powerful thing to speak the truth. I've found it amazing what opens up, and what opens up in relationships when we learn the art of truth-telling. But it is an art, and it takes a while to learn that skill. It's a skill well worth learning.

So thank you very much.