Guided Meditation: From Below Discursive Thought; Dharmette: Aspiration (3 of 5) Developing and Serving

This is an AI-generated transcript from auto-generated subtitles for the video Guided Meditation: From Below Discursive Thought; Aspiration (3 of 5) Developing and Serving. It likely contains inaccuracies, especially with speaker attribution if there are multiple speakers.

The following talk was given by Gil Fronsdal at Insight Meditation Center in Redwood City, CA on July 05, 2023. Please visit the website www.audiodharma.org for more information.

Guided Meditation: From Below Discursive Thought

Hello everyone, and welcome back. Happy to be here.

One of the profound opportunities or possibilities with mindfulness meditation^[1] is to be aware. As we sit in meditation, to be aware of ourselves, to be aware of sounds and the situation we're in, from some place within that is not filtered by our discursive thinking. And to be aware from there, but also to be aware of what's going on deeper than discursive thinking in us.

Discursive thinking can often color our perceptions and our experience of the world. Whatever kind of story, idea, judgments, or commentary we're making can sometimes be undermining us. If it's a depressing story we're telling, then the telling of the story repeatedly conditions more depression. If it's anger, it conditions more anger. If it's some attitude that we are incapable or unworthy, it conditions us to feel that and be that more.

It's almost like discursive thinking is fuel to support any kind of negative thinking that we might have about ourselves or the world. Some of the thinking might be accurate enough, but for it to be the conditioning that shapes us can often be quite unfortunate.

So, if we can somehow listen deeper. Listen from a place that's not filtered, or perceive, or know, or feel ourselves in meditation. To feel, to be embodied in our breathing. To be embodied in our experience of our emotions, our moods, or what's happening. To sense and feel almost from the heart, or from the torso, or the belly, rather than through the medium of our thinking, stories, and ideas. If we can do that, then we're not going to be so conditioned by discursive thinking. There will still be thinking, but that thinking—which is not a story—tends to be wiser. It tends to not have the same kind of impact that an ongoing story or commentary might have.

Also, it's very respectful. I think the deepest way to respect what's happening within us is to not see or understand it through the lens of an ongoing commentary, ongoing judgments, ongoing stories, predictions, and fantasies. But to really be present for what's deeper inside with a quiet mind, with a quiet heart.

Mindfulness has a kind of Midas touch: everything turns to gold. Everything has a chance to transform into something good. It's remarkable, even if something deep down feels kind of negative, when it is attended to respectfully from that quiet place within, below that discursive level, something different begins to shift, change, and open up. It's kind of like if we're in some level of distress, and a friend sits down with us and just listens. They don't fix us, they don't even try to help us, they just listen and are present. That tends to shift what's going on within our relationship to it.

So, to offer that to ourselves. Assume a meditation posture. This idea of taking an upright posture, either actually or metaphorically, I like to think of it as a posture that begins with an attitude of respect for ourselves, for all that we are. Take an attitude that demonstrates that or allows for that, and then gently close the eyes.

Take a few moments to be as quiet as you can. Don't force it. Just listen, feel, and sense yourself in a full way, in a deep way. As you are here and now, as if you have permission to be this way, and you're just going to be present for it. Almost like a discovery or a reacquaintance. Or like you are your own friend sitting with yourself, just here to listen and be present for it.

If you are quietly present for yourself here and now, without spinning off into discursive thought, or without living in it—it might still go on, but to live in a deeper place, the quiet place that can listen and be present. Then gently, not too much, take a bit deeper inhales and a little longer exhales. Almost as if you're massaging, opening, or settling this deeper place within.

Relaxing your face, shoulders, and belly. Relaxing the thinking mind.

And if there is a lot of discursive thinking, it's okay. See if you can listen or be present from a quiet place, a deeper place within. Become your own friend sitting at a bench, listening, feeling, sensing, allowing something deeper to show itself underneath the discursive thinking.

Then settling into your normal breathing pattern. If you can offer this deeper, quiet attention to breathing, just that is profound.

As different things occur within, let them be known from whatever place is available to you that's underneath or deeper than discursive thinking. There might be simple thoughts involved in knowing it, but those thoughts will probably be more peaceful, simple, or maybe even wiser than what's available through discursive thinking.

Rather than fixing anything or making anything go away, let it be known respectfully by this quiet presence. Through this quiet presence, let it be known by a simple mindfulness and awareness. That is an act of respect; everything is respected. In a sense, there is nothing to fix because we don't see anything as being broken. It's just something to hold in our awareness, breathing with it. Letting the rhythm of breathing support awareness from the quiet place within.

Relaxing as you exhale. And in the relaxing, can you settle into the quietest place within where you can be present for yourself? Where you can know, sense, or feel what's underneath or deeper than the story-making mind, the commentary mind.

And then, as we come to the end of the sitting, consider what it's like to offer a presence to others that comes from a quieter place. Without our need, without projection, judgment, or commentary. But to be present quietly for the humanity of others as they are, with respect and care.

Then consider the ways in which goodwill might flow from this quiet place. A simple goodwill, well-wishing, care for the happiness and well-being of others. As we bring this meditation to an end, wish for the well-being of everyone. We begin familiarizing ourselves with how this meditation practice is something we do not just for ourselves, but for the world around us. To prepare us to come into the world with friendliness and goodwill, so we can contribute to the possibility that all beings may be happy.

All beings may be safe. All beings may be peaceful. And all beings may be free. May it be so.

Dharmette: Aspiration (3 of 5) Developing and Serving

Thank you. So, continuing on this theme of aspiration. One of the really beautiful parts of compassion is this desire for the alleviation of suffering, for suffering to come to an end. We're so fortunate we live in a world where people do have this aspiration, have this wish. And because it's such a beautiful and important desire, it's important to consider the different facets of it and how to do it well. If we do it on automatic pilot, or just by what we think it's supposed to be like, we might do it simplistically or in ways that actually might not even be helpful.

I'm involved with training people to do Buddhist chaplaincy. Chaplaincy in the public sphere is one of the few professions where it's much more explicit—almost like a job description—to bring compassionate care to patients in hospitals, inmates in prison, and all kinds of different situations like hospice, schools, and colleges. One of the core ideas of the chaplaincy world is that compassionate care should be done in the service of others, as opposed to fixing them or helping them.

There was a famous article by Rachel Naomi Remen^[2] who wrote about this distinction between fixing, helping, and serving. Not representing her entirely accurately, but speaking for myself: fixing implies that someone is broken. If we're going to go fix them, then we're fixing their brokenness. It doesn't really feel good to be approached as if you're a broken person. While the compassion might be there, it comes along with a message that can reinforce all kinds of societal and personal ideas that there is something wrong with us.

The other idea is to help. That seems innocent enough, and it's often a beautiful thing to do, provided that we're not seeing other people as being helpless. If we see other people as helpless, we're conditioning or viewing them in a very limited way. If we go in there to alleviate suffering for people and we're trying to get rid of the suffering as fast as we can, we might actually be limiting people dramatically.

Serving is the third option. The idea of serving is that there's deep respect for others, for their agency, for their capacity, and for their potential, and that we are there to support that to grow.

Yesterday, I talked about going deeper to the causes of suffering. Today, I want to emphasize that we also want to go deeper and look at people's potential: how they can develop and how they can grow. It's more than just removing the causes of suffering; it's really growing up and developing ourselves in such a way that we have the inner strength and inner capacity to be with the difficulties and adversities of life. The challenges of life are often where people grow, develop, get stronger, get wiser, and work through some of the complex attachments and conditioning we have that get in the way. To simply go in there and alleviate suffering too quickly can deny people the opportunity to grow into it and develop themselves.

To see people not as broken, but as capable. See them as whole beings moving towards wholeness. See them not as helpless, but see that they have the potential and the capacity to help themselves. And so then we serve those capacities. We serve their ability, we serve their movement towards wholeness.

We are available. We are there. We're not the savior; we're not coming in there in shining armor to be the one who helps them. It's a delicate thing because sometimes people want to be saved. They're looking for others to take responsibility, they're looking for others to do it for them. We come along and offer them help, and we even fix them in some ways—temporarily, perhaps—and they're so grateful. It's so rewarding as a compassionate caregiver to feel the gratitude and the wonderfulness of people that we've saved, and we feel like we've done the right thing. But maybe not. Maybe it doesn't cause harm, but maybe it has shortchanged people.

What really needs to happen is people need to grow. Even if they are grown up, there's all this continued capacity for emotional growth, spiritual growth, and relational growth that people are capable of. So if there are emotional or psychological challenges, we should be a little bit tender and careful not to interfere with people's ability to struggle and find their way with what's difficult.

In serving them, we're accompanying people. We're available. We say, "I'm here for you. Let me know what I can do or how I can support you." Or, "I'm here with you, and I see that you're struggling, and I want to support you in that struggle to find a way through it." We are there as a companion, as a support, as a sounding board. Maybe we offer ideas, maybe we offer questions that help people understand, but it's important not to take away people's agency. Don't take away people's ability to move to wholeness, because that movement towards health and wholeness is health and wholeness in and of itself.

So, allow people to develop. People who suffer, where do they need to develop? What needs to grow and be cultivated? For example, because I'm in the meditation tradition, someone who's suffering a lot, maybe you support them to go to a meditation retreat. There, they're sitting, really present for themselves and for what's going on. It's remarkable the deeper connection, the deeper process of working through things, and growing and developing in capacity that can happen on a meditation retreat. Coming to help people means helping them to help themselves. You offer them the possibility to do a retreat. There are many other things they could do, but the idea is to support people to do it and find a way themselves.

Development and service, and being careful with the fixing mode and the helping mode. These are two aspects of aspiration: to look and see how to support people's development, and to look and discover how, within ourselves, we can be of service.

One of the supports for this—for ourselves to be able to have compassionate care in this way—is to learn how to be present for ourselves and for others from someplace deeper than the realm of our discursive thinking. Discursive thinking, even when it wants to help people, can come along with so much bias, prejudice, simplistic ideas, stories, memories, and associations. It's remarkable that discursive thinking is not so innocent; it's sometimes heavily conditioned by the background luggage that we carry along with us.

To be able to feel, or know, or connect to a thinking that's deeper than discursive thinking is one of the great skills that can come from meditation practice. We learn to quiet the discursive mind so that we can listen, feel, know, and be wise from some place that's below that level.

As I said in the meditation, part of the problem with discursive constructions of stories, ideas, and commentary is that if any of that is negative in nature—the stories we tell about others or about ourselves—the ongoing nature of discursive thinking means that it's being reinforced. It's like creating an atmosphere and a mood. Once we start creating atmospheres and moods within us, it feels like it is us. It gives a kind of authority or truth to the moods, attitudes, and emotional states that we end up in. But when those are reinforced by discursive thinking, it's probably best not to give them a lot of credence.

To have the ability to drop deeper. And as I said in the meditation as well, one of the ways of using our capacity to know, feel, and sense from a quiet or deeper place is that we can turn that toward our discursive mind itself. Kind of like we're being with a friend who is troubled. We're not fixing them, we're not saving them, we're not helping them; what we're doing is being present, listening, accompanying them, and showing them they're not alone. Listening to them deeply, maybe asking simple questions to help bring forth what's really happening.

In the same way, we can bring that deeper presence, that deeper awareness, toward our discursive mind and all its constructs and ideas that are spinning in there. There's always going to be something deeper underneath it. Discursive thinking is always a surface expression of something that's really more important that needs to be heard, felt, and known.

So as we learn the aspirational aspects of compassion, we're also learning how to connect and be with ourselves and with others from this deeper capacity we have. We are developing the capacity to be present from a place of wisdom, of love, of care, that is not skewed by some of the spinning discursive thoughts that are so easy to live in our minds.

Thank you. I hope that these words are useful for you. If they're not, then please feel free to discard them, and then we'll continue with this word aspiration tomorrow. Thank you.