Guided Meditation: Mindful Mettā; Dharmette: Pāramīs (5 of 5) The Perfections of Goodwill and Equanimity

This is an AI-generated transcript from auto-generated subtitles for the video Guided Meditation: Mindful Mettā; Pāramīs (5 of 5) The Perfections of Goodwill and Equanimity. It likely contains inaccuracies, especially with speaker attribution if there are multiple speakers.

The following talk was given by Kodo Conlin at Insight Meditation Center in Redwood City, CA on May 19, 2023. Please visit the website www.audiodharma.org for more information.

Guided Meditation: Mindful Mettā

Hello. We're back for our fifth day, considering the pāramīs^[1], the perfections. What a wonderful week of practice.

This path of the perfections is remarkable in a very specific way. There are an array of trajectories: you can develop any one of these ten qualities and move your practice, or be moved by your practice, in a certain direction. This writing by Dhammapāla^[2] that we're studying this week is pretty fascinating in its period of Buddhist history and the way that it brings together different currents of understanding. It feels like a privilege and a real joy to get to spend a week in this territory.

Let's begin with gratitude, and let's move into sitting. In the spirit of our theme for the day, which is mettā^[3] and upekkhā^[4]—loving-kindness and equanimity—we'll do a simple practice that I'm going to call mindful mettā. We'll mostly do our familiar mindfulness practice for the first long while, and then at a certain point in the sitting, switch to loving-kindness practice. Let's begin.

Beginning with a pause, pausing our activities and involvements, inside and outside. Finding ourselves here. Seated, reclining, standing—however it is we're meditating. And finding ourselves here with this body, in this body. Maybe take a few deep breaths to strengthen the connection between attention and embodiment.

Gathering energy to stay present, to clearly know this moment of experience. Now, this. Alert, clearly knowing as we breathe in. Alert and clearly knowing, breathing out. Again, to know this moment, for now, is enough.

Now making a gentle transition, with as little inner movement as possible, a transition to loving-kindness practice. It can be as simple as wishing well-being for yourself or someone who is dear to you. A little shift in inner posture, feeling the wish for their well-being.

As the sitting comes to a close, that wish for well-being, conditioned by mindfulness—may that wish extend in all directions. May all beings be happy. May all beings be healthy. May all beings be safe. And may all beings everywhere know the ease of liberation.

Dharmette: Pāramīs (5 of 5) The Perfections of Goodwill and Equanimity

Welcome to our fifth day on the pāramīs, the perfections. As I mentioned, I'll attempt to have a shorter talk about mettā and upekkhā so that we have time for your comments and questions. I think as a sangha, we learn so much about this practice by hearing or reading about the experiences of others doing similar practices. We'll get to that at the end, along with a couple of announcements.

I have heard that the Buddha's physician, Jīvaka^[5], was asked what the Buddha was like. This is a person who knew the Buddha closely—you know, how well does your doctor know you? When asked, "What is the Buddha like, dear physician?" he described the Buddha's mettā, the Buddha's loving-kindness. Isn't that something? Jīvaka wasn't saying, "Oh, he is the wisest, he gives the best advice, he's so calm," or, "He frowns a lot." No, it was his mettā. It was the Buddha's heartfulness that came through. I like to think of mettā as an expression of everything that the Buddha had cultivated for years.

These last two pāramīs are mettā (loving-kindness) and upekkhā (equanimity). Here we're talking about loving-kindness as a wish, and it's a wish to provide for the welfare and happiness of beings in the world. It can show up as benevolence, peaceful action, and beneficial action. With equanimity, we're talking about the attitude of impartiality toward what's desirable and undesirable—both beings and thoughts.

Let's start with mettā. Mettā is a wish, an attitude. Doesn't it take some practice? We have these inclinations toward the opposite, and aren't those so ready? Through regular practice, the causal basis—the condition we can put in place for the arising of mettā—traditionally is reflecting on the goodness of others.

We can do this deliberately. We can incline the mind to reflect on goodness: "Oh wow, this person did something so kind," or, "This person said something that had such and such an effect." There are options for regular practice. Of course, at IMC here we have "Happy Hour" with this wonderful sangha and Nikki Mirghafori^[6]. I also know a couple of teachers who do mettā at night before going to sleep. They lay down in their bed, and rather than having the mind wander, they direct it: "May this being be happy, may this being be happy." Mettā can really develop as a concentration practice. It can deeply unify the mind, and how wholesome that is, to unify the mind around the wish for well-being for others.

Loving-kindness is also an internal practice that becomes external. I guess most or all of our practices are this way. We cultivate these inclinations, and then they start showing up in our menu of actions. The options we have for response, the things we get to select from, start to have this little touch of mettā. The mind inclines to benefit others. In this way, mettā is known as an abiding, an abode—a place where we can live inside when we're concentrated on the well-being of others, a place we can live in this world. When we offer it, it is said to soften and moisten the heart.

In very brief, mettā nourishes the heart. It brightens and steadies the mind, and as such, it supports the development of equanimity. When we're so fed by goodness, we're less susceptible to the vicissitudes—the ups and downs, the pleasures and pains, the praises and blames. If mettā softens our heart to the world, I'll say equanimity stays intimate without losing balance.

A few words on equanimity, sometimes called equipoise. It's this attitude of impartiality towards what's desirable and undesirable, again, both regarding people or other beings, and our thoughts. I think it's the last of the pāramīs for a good reason. Sometimes it's called the crown jewel of the emotions in Buddhist practice. It was certainly mastered by the Buddha, who was so full of heart, but it's infused with everything that we've practiced before.

In my own thinking, I sometimes consider one who is equanimous as someone who is self-possessed. Rather than being pulled and pushed around by either circumstances on the outside or the impulses toward greed, hatred, and delusion on the inside, we're self-possessed. We have this abiding of loving-kindness, equanimity, and balance.

An important note that often comes up: equanimity does not mean heartlessness. It doesn't mean cutting oneself off from connection with the world. There can be this understanding of equanimity where we think, "I'm impartial to the world because I don't care." I don't experience it that way. Rather, it's a sort of freedom amidst conditions that arises from clear seeing. One of the alternate translations for equanimity in Pali is "standing in the middle of all this," or "peace in the midst of all this."

Again, I think equanimity is last on the list in part because we've already established this number of wholesome ways of being connected with beings, with thoughts, and with this world. We've generated the connection of virtue, generosity, renunciation, and wisdom. We're closer to other beings through our energy, patience, truthfulness, and resolve, and then the intimacy of mettā. All of this goes into our equanimity. It's not becoming a zero. This is also expressed in the fact that the condition we cultivate to support the growth of equanimity is not ignoring; it's wisdom. It's clear seeing.

So, in very brief, mettā and upekkhā. As we close, maybe we have the sense that this pāramī practice is a lot to remember—ten qualities, a lot of do's and donts, "I hope I took some good notes"—but really, it can be quite simple. It can be three things: this wish for the benefit, welfare, and liberation of ourselves and others (just a wish), along with our compassion or care for others, and then our commitment to skillfulness. Skillful means, in this situation right now, what is the most skillful response? So, our aspiration, our care, and our skillfulness. Just that simple. All of the pāramīs are such beautiful qualities.

I think if we take up the practice of the pāramīs, it could be that all of our work is not evident to other people. No one we know out there is walking around with a checklist like, "Oh yes, their generosity, their patience, and their energy." Maybe all that other people will register is, "Oh, that person is kind, that person cares." Maybe they will just feel our mettā, like Jīvaka, and maybe that's enough.

So, the perfections: a path from right where we are to right where we are with full freedom. Wondrous. For the welfare and benefit of all beings, may we endeavor patiently, persistently, generously, wholeheartedly, and with a heart full of love and a mind of clear wisdom. May it be so.

Announcements and Q&A

I'd love to transition to some questions or comments you have. We have just a few minutes, and I have a few minutes to stay after, but during this little bit of YouTube lag, I'll make these announcements.

First, on Sunday, May 21st, there is the Mindful Parents class for parents of children of all ages. It's at IMC in Redwood City from 11:00 AM to 12:15 PM, and it's a new program. The second thing is the Sunday potluck at IMC—the first one since before the pandemic! That's pretty amazing. It will be on May 28th at 11:00 AM, after Gil's dharma talk^[7]. So please, if you're available and interested, avail yourselves.

Let's see... oh, a question: "How to be equanimous with dukkha^[8] arising?" Thank you very much. That's right when equanimity matters, doesn't it? How to be equanimous with dukkha arising?

Two doorways occur to me. One is to trust awareness. In our simple mindfulness practice, one of the manifestations of equanimity can be just that: when the dukkha arises, we don't grab on and get pulled along.

The other manifestation is wisdom. That is also through our mindfulness practice—to clearly know the dukkha itself, its arising, its conditions, its effect on us in terms of body and attitude. And then pay careful attention to when the dukkha lets go. It won't last forever, so keep an eye on this process. That's a wisdom doorway. Thank you for the question.

We'll see if anything else comes up. Oh, this is great: looks like IMC is celebrating Asian American Pacific Islander Buddhist practice on Sunday, May 28th. Wonderful, wonderful.

Some appreciations are coming through. I hope this time has been nourishing. May it be of benefit. And maybe for now, we are complete. Well, dharma friends, thank you for this week of practice. I hope to do this again with you sometime soon. Please take very good care of yourselves. Thank you.