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Guided Meditation: Relax, Know, Let Be

Hello everyone, and welcome. We're here to be mindful of our present-moment experience. While you're first paying attention to me, to who is there for you, it's amazing this connection we have through YouTube and online, and what it means to teach mindfulness and being in the present moment over such long distances. But certainly, you are where you are, and that's where mindfulness practice comes alive.

Yesterday I talked about a simple technique for mindfulness that some people like to have—a nice rhythm or a little technique to do. It also represents some of the qualities and aspects of mindfulness, and that was to be here, to relax, and then to recognize. To establish oneself here, to relax into here, and then to recognize what's here. The act of recognition is quite important.

Another way of doing this that's related, and maybe it could be done after the first one in the same meditation, is to relax, let go, to recognize what's here, to recognize what the experience of the moment is, and then to let it be. Let it be.

As we continue in this—relax, recognize, let be—the relaxing becomes extra, becomes work, becomes just keeping yourself busy. It's nicer just to recognize what's here and let things be. As meditation goes deeper and deeper, and quieter and quieter, then maybe even the recognizing seems too much, and the primary thing to do is just let things be.

This letting be is in the family of letting go; it's a form of letting go, and a very profound form, where we're letting go of things needing to be different than how they are in the moment, at least in meditation. Certainly in life, we have to change things, but in meditation, we relax. At some point, freedom comes because we're not picking anything up, we're not reacting to anything, we're not believing the reactions, or getting involved in them. The ability to recognize is strong enough that we recognize whatever passes through, whatever is happening, and we find ourselves letting it be. Not being for or against it, not wanting it or not wanting it, just here, rooted here, letting it be.

So letting be is quite a profound form of letting go. In some ways, it's more wise than the action of letting go. When we're just there letting things be, one of the advantages is that at some point things let go of themselves, rather than us letting go. The ability to just be, to let things be in the field of recognition, and then see that things are let go of—because trust is so deep, the ease is so deep, our non-involvement is so thorough—is quite inspiring. It is quite inspiring to see how things can unfold without us having to be the agent for the change.

Assuming a meditation posture, and gently closing the eyes.

Taking just a little bit deeper breath than usual. Just a gentle, deeper breath, almost as if you're being tender to yourself as you breathe.

Breathing in, breathing out.

As you exhale, relax. Soften.

And letting your breathing return to normal.

On the exhale, relax the muscles of the face.

On the exhale, relaxing the neck. And then the tops of the shoulders. And then deep inside the shoulders.

Exhale, relaxing the chest. Deep in the chest.

And relaxing the belly. Softening the belly.

On the exhale, relaxing the hands, the arms. And then the legs and the feet.

And having relaxed this way, now become aware of your breathing. Centering yourself in the body breathing.

Recognize how you are. Recognize how it is to breathe, how it is to be in your body. And let it be.

Recognize how you are in your mood and emotional state, no matter how subtle or how big. And let it be. And breathe with it.

Sometimes breathing with things, we can accompany our difficult states without being for or against them. It is easier to just let it be, to accompany them.

So at whatever rhythm that's nice for you: relax, recognize, and let be.

And if relaxing is too much, then just be. Breathe. Recognize, let be.

Experimenting with how it is you can be present, knowing what's happening but giving it space. Allow it to be itself without being involved.

To recognize clearly is to begin the process of letting be. When we only recognize...

And then as we come to the end of the sitting, imagine yourself comfortable and safe, at ease, being with someone. Maybe someone who is suffering in some way, challenged.

Imagine that you are present for the person, but you allow the person to be.

What would it be like for you to take in someone, to really pay attention, and to recognize someone without being involved with wanting something or not wanting something, fixing, or any kind of way of asserting yourself, or judging the other person? Just letting the person be. Taking them in, experiencing them more fully. Offering them a chance to feel safe around you and feel like you want nothing more than to be available and present, allowing the person to be as they are.

That sometimes is a profound gift. Sometimes people do not have the experience of someone who is with them and allows them to be.

It may be that our ability to sit and meditate, breathing with how things are, letting things be, learning the deep art of letting be, will support us and the gift we can give others. Offering them the kind of respect, the kind of love where we recognize someone and allow them to be who they are. Maybe in such a way so it's easier for them to find their own way without our interference.

In the innumerable ways that we can, in this practice that we do, this can translate into caring for others. May we be motivated to care for the world, motivated to live for the welfare and happiness of others, and the welfare and happiness of ourselves.

May all beings be happy. May all beings be safe. May all beings be peaceful. And may all beings be free.

Dharmette: Karma/Dharma (5 of 5) Living in the Dharma Stream

The topic for this week has been the karmic stream and the Dharma streams^[1] of our lives. Many people are swimming in the karmic stream only. That's all they know, and because that's all they know, they think that's all there is. So they're constantly navigating and negotiating that world.

We can do wonderful things in the karmic world, and terrible things. The Buddhist tradition divides up the activities of the karmic world into two areas: that which is unhealthy or unwholesome, and that which is beautiful. The encouragement is to do the things that are beautiful. Those things are healthy, they're wholesome, because it's for your own benefit and for the benefit of others. So learning how to live without hate, without greed, without delusion, without criticism, animosity, resentment, or acquisitiveness; learning to live with generosity, love, and kindness.

But the core of something being the karmic stream^[2] is that it is based on, at its root, a certain kind of attachment. It can be very, very subtle. Maybe the easiest way to understand it is attachment to self—some kind of idea of ourselves as being somehow solid, substantial, or a reference point. Or it could be a subtle attachment, maybe not to ourselves exactly, but more basically to three basic attachments that propel the whole karmic world. It's not easy to see; you usually have to be very attentive and sensitive at the deeper levels to really tap into it.

One of them is attachment to sense comfort and sense pleasures. Human beings are very oriented, sometimes in a very deep way, to be comfortable and to have pleasantness. It's closely related to being safe. The other is a very subtle attachment to existing, to being alive, to being. And then there is a very subtle attachment to not being, to not existing. Some people experience this, and it takes the form—if you watch your own mind stream and how this karma plays out in your own mind, you can track what you're thinking about and see: is your thinking involved with something to do with comfort and discomfort, making things pleasant or unpleasant? Is it in some way an assertion of identity? Is being someone an identity in that part of your mind stream? Or is there a movement to not have an identity, to not be seen a certain way, not be presented some way, and not be recognized a certain way? This movement towards being and non-being, towards sense pleasure, in the Buddhist tradition is considered deeply, deeply rooted. So even beautiful karma has that attachment as well.

We can only go so far with beautiful karma. With good karma, we are shaping our future. We're shaping and conditioning ourselves. You can watch your thoughts and see how the thoughts that you have condition the next thought, and the next thought. They can keep certain mental preoccupations going in a way that can have a negative or positive influence on us. But it always involves work; it always involves mental activity. Over months, years, and decades, it takes a toll. There can be a weariness, a tiredness from always navigating, negotiating existing, non-existing, identity, non-identity, pleasure, comfort, and all that.

The Dharma stream is not a dualistic, radically different way of living than ordinary life. You might be doing many of the same things that you do in ordinary life: shopping, cooking, caring for family or friends, going to work, and all kinds of things. But it's done without attachment. At the deeper level, if the Dharma stream has really matured, then there's no attachment to sense pleasures, to comfort, no attachment to existence, even to life, and also no attachment to non-existence, non-identity, to not being alive. One navigates and lives a life fully unconcerned with this attachment, this preoccupation, these fears, and these desires around these three areas.

On the way to that Dharma stream, we are learning how to let go of coarser attachments. We are learning how to care for friends and family, go to work, take care of ourselves, and do all the ordinary things people do, but learning to do them without attachment, without clinging to anything—even the subtler attachments. Then we find ourselves able to do these things without this layer of mental work of navigating and negotiating the self in the middle of it all, negotiating how to make ourselves comfortable in the middle of it all. It releases a whole level of preoccupation.

The Buddhist reference point for this is freedom. One goes about the world free, doing the ordinary things that people do that may be appropriate for them. But there is a freedom in doing it. There's an ease. There's a peace. There's an absence of a certain agitation or contraction that always exists in the karmic stream. To be in the Dharma stream is to begin appreciating how it's possible to live in the world without clinging and attachment.

It begins with letting go of bigger attachments. Maybe it begins by meditating. For some people, it's eye-opening to begin meditating and realize how many of the ordinary preoccupations of the mind, and how they translate to bodily tension, can be put down. They can relax and become quiet. It can be a life-changer to realize how much extra preoccupation the mind is spinning, churning, and ruminating on, that can be put down and relaxed. And so we begin seeing where it's possible.

Then the Dharma stream is seen as an open door. As we relax, as we let go, as we don't act with attachment, the absence of attachment, clinging, craving, and resistance is like an open door inviting you, "Hey, come here, come take a look at this." So the Dharma stream is found by stepping through that door into that new stream. In the teachings of the Buddha, reality is always inviting you, welcoming you into this new stream, into the Dharma stream. There's a wide open door that's ready for you, if you can put down your burden, put down your attachments, your clinging.

You get to keep your life, perhaps, because this is not a judgment about what people do in their lives; it's just the idea to do them without clinging. If what you do in your life is completely dependent on clinging—you're doing it because you cling—then how you live your life might change as you let go of clinging. I'm pretty confident that it will be for your own good to do that, and for the good of the people around you. It's not a good result to live a life and do things in the world that are propelled by attachment and clinging, that need to have craving as part of it. Even that fundamental attachment to being alive, or the attachment to not wanting to be alive, or attachment to identity and non-identity—happiness is not found through identity. Happiness is not found by being preoccupied with life or death. There's a way of putting this down and experiencing a profound peace, which will help you live your life peacefully, happily, and wisely.

That's maybe one of the key reasons to put down the attachment: so we can live wisely in the world, and live in a way that is really beneficial for others. Maybe even inspiring for others, being an example for others that it's possible to live a life that's not anxious, possible to live a life that's not greedy, resentful, or hating. It's a wonderful gift to the world to give that example. I think one of the clear ways to see it is in raising children. If children see the model of hate, greed, and fear, then that's what they think is needed to live this life. But if they have a different model, what a gift it is to the children! And it's a gift to yourself. Because if you can live without these fundamental attachments, if you enter into the Dharma stream and really trust it, then when it's your turn to die—and if you die in a conscious way—chances are you won't be afraid. Chances are it won't be a difficult thing to do because you're not attached either way.

So the Dharma stream and the karma stream. If you're going to do the karma stream, do it well. Do it beautifully. Bring beauty to the world, spiritual beauty. Walk in beauty. One of the ways to do that, to walk in beauty, is to realize also that beautiful karma is a precursor, a support that can point the way to the Dharma stream. And the beautiful stuff that we do just gets done better when it's done from the Dharma stream.

Hopefully, this is an interesting distinction to explore and understand your life. As I've said repeatedly, one of the primary reference points I'd suggest for really studying these two streams is in the moment-to-moment tracking of your thought streams, what you're thinking about. Right there you'll see all you need to know to really get a sense of the karma stream and the Dharma stream.

May your thoughts flow in the stream where there's no attachment. Thank you very much, and I look forward to being back here next Monday.