This is an AI-generated transcript from auto-generated subtitles for the video above. It likely contains inaccuracies, especially with speaker attribution if there are multiple speakers.

Guided Meditation

Hello everyone, and welcome. To continue this theme for the week on the expressions of love, and how they come into play for meditation practice, this is also an expression of the Dharma^[1]—or an expression of our experience of meditation.

In different ways, we start feeling something about the depth of our life: some of the deepest motivations that we can have, some of the deepest values we want to live by, some of the deepest experiences of peace and freedom. There's something about the depth of those experiences within us—deep in our hearts, deep in our being—that starts having more value than a lot of the other things that we spend our time doing. It becomes a priority. It becomes an orientation that we want to live by, stay close to, and stay in touch with.

I'm fond of words and etymologies, and the word commitment has the word mitten in it, having to do with the hand or fingers. A commitment is what we want to be in touch with. A vow is what we want our life to be centered on, based on.

With love, a time comes when we discover this deep capacity for love that seems almost inherent in who we are, independent of the conditions of the world, in the sense that the love is constant. This love is something we want to come from. At some point, there becomes something like a resolve, a commitment, a dedication, a kind of vow we make, where we say, "This is so important that I'm going to base my life on it. I'm going to base the way I live in it."

This was certainly true for me, in a way that was surprising. As I did this Dharma practice, sometimes this deep sense of inner vow—nothing that I had to do, nothing that was a requirement—was the heart's call. It was a call in the heart. One expression of this deep Dharmic love is that there's a call, an aspiration, a dedication, that coming from this love is the most natural, appropriate, and meaningful way to be in the world. It's not a construction. It's not making something up. This gives life meaning, purpose, agency, and identity. This provides life with the power of healing, community, and kinship. This is valuable.

To begin this meditation today, consider: What is it in the Dharma, in meditation, in mindfulness, in your spiritual life within you, that is the most important? Does that most important thing have a place inside? Is something alive inside of you that is an expression of that depth and purpose?

Gently close your eyes if they're not closed already. Gently see if you can have your breathing breathe along with this depth of meaning, purpose, and value. Even if you're not sure, or can't articulate what it is, maybe there's a feeling for it.

Take a few deeper, fuller breaths, and relax deeply in. Let go of your thoughts. Let go of anything that takes you away from the present moment. Breathe mindfully from the deepest place you know, here and now.

If you feel yourself deeper than your thoughts, deeper than your memories or plans or conversations you're having in your head, deep within you, is there a reservoir of calm, peace, love, of inner goodness, for which being in touch with is valuable? Something that you'd like to be in touch with more often?

In these minutes of meditation, stay in touch. Listen to the call to be present to that which is deepest within you, that which helps you feel settled, connected, at home in something important within.

For those of you who've been along for these many months that we've been exploring love, where inside of you is the deepest form of love that's your way of loving? Not as an idea, not as a goal right now, but what is it inside of you that you know, in your way, is the most meaningful form of love that flows from you?

Is there any way that you want to follow the call of that love, be committed to that form of love, or stay in touch with it? To have it at the center, as an orientation for living your life? And if so, is that wish part of the love, or is it a bridge to the love?

As we come to the end of this meditation, is there some place within, some way in your love and your care in your heart, from which you can gaze upon the world kindly? From which there's a love that cares for others, cares for their well-being, their welfare, and happiness? Some place deep inside that smiles at the love that wishes everyone well.

May all beings be happy. May all beings be safe. May all beings be peaceful. May all beings be free. And may the depth of our own deep wishes for the welfare of the world find a way to be expressed in how we live our life. Thank you.

Dharmette: Love (79) Commitment to Love

Hello and welcome to the final talk for this week's series on the expressions of love. We are coming towards the end of this now almost seven-month series on love, and maybe there'll be one more week next week. We'll see. I thought, coming to the end—since we have not had a Zoom community meeting for our YouTube community for a very long time—that next Friday when this finishes at a quarter to the hour, we could switch over to Zoom. We'll provide the Zoom link in different ways, and maybe have some conversations, some questions, maybe some breakout groups, so we can talk to each other a little bit. Those of you who've been coming here for a long time might enjoy meeting each other, and we'll do that maybe from about 45 minutes or so. I'll talk about it more next week.

For today, on the expressions of love: there is something about love, certain kinds of love, that is not meant to just be left to itself inside of us but wants to be expressed. I found that as I did meditation practice and long retreat practice, something deep inside wanted to come out of me, wanted to live in some way. It was not just something that was static, a good feeling, or something very personal, but something that I wanted to live out in the social interactions of life, in the world itself.

There were a variety of things. For example, there was a period of time when I just wanted to bow to people. I didn't need to say anything or do anything, but there was something profound about putting the hands together in front of the heart, kind of opening the heart, and bowing down to people. It was an appreciation, a form of love that wasn't required, but it was just the heart's expression that wanted to be expressed.

One of the expressions of this deep love, maybe Dharmic love, can have different kinds of names. I'll go through a list of some of the words associated with it. Maybe one of those words speaks to you, and some of them won't. But there can be a sense of commitment, an aspiration, a resolve. In some areas of Buddhism, the word "vow" is used. There's the heart's vow. There is a promise we make to ourselves that this is what we want to do.

Those are some of the words, and I'm sure there are others. But what it is, is that we feel like we're in touch with something inside, and in essence, the theme is love. It's a form of love that seems so important that we value it immensely. We see that most other things we do in ordinary life—the reactive things we do—take us away from a profound sense of wholeness, a profound sense of aliveness and connectivity, a profound sense of meaning, and a profound sense of love that simply exists in a beautiful way. It's natural to see that difference, to see that one is more desirable than others. One is more valuable. It is a way of being where I can contribute more to the world than if I live in my reactive world, my fear-based world, my petty desire world, my desires for comfort, or my preoccupations.

In this place, life feels full and meaningful. It feels like just being alive is enough. Just having this love to act in the world seems good. And so there comes a time in this deep kind of love where there's a very natural desire—it's not required, you don't have to do it before you're ready, if ever—but there's a natural sense of a vow. A sense that: "This is the place I'd like to stand. I stand in my life on this. This is the orientation, this is the meaning. This is the place I want to always be. This is what I'm practicing for. This is why I'm living my life, so that this can be the source of my life, the source of what motivates me and guides me."

It can be a profound sense of love. For me, the profound sense of love that arose during my Zen monastic time was what I characterized as compassion. That compassion seemed like the most important thing, the most valuable thing. It came hand-in-hand together with a deep sense of inner freedom. But this sense of compassion wanted to be expressed in the world. It wanted to be expressed in a commitment, in a vow. I felt it made sense to make a promise to myself that this is where I want to stay rooted. "This is so important that I don't want to lose touch with this. I don't want to flippantly get distracted by things; I really want to stay close to this."

That vow I made to myself, this inner aspiration that arose from deep inside, has been a guiding light for me in pretty much my whole adult life—to live from this place of compassion, caring for the suffering of the world. It's been very rewarding, and I still feel like this is really a center place. As I've practiced over these years, other forms of love have also taken their seat in that same place; they coexist. A deep sense of mettā^[2] arose over time, that wonderful sense of goodwill. There was a deep sense of anukampā^[3], of caring for the welfare of people. It became part of it, and it felt like the most natural thing in the world to say yes to: "Yes, this is what I want to say yes to in my life."

In the ancient language of the Buddha, Pali^[4], one of the primary words for this is adhiṭṭhāna^[5]. Adhi means higher, and ṭhāna is an ordinary word for stand. So, a higher stance. "This is where I'm going to stand. I'm going to stand on this." The Buddha talked about standing on peace, standing on wisdom, standing on generosity, standing on truth. Those are the four stands that he emphasized. I'd like to add that, in addition to those, it can be love. It can be mettā, karuṇā^[6], muditā^[7], upekkhā^[8], anukampā.

It can be generosity, a love that's generous. It can be a love that is dedicated to non-harming. That's where we're centered. We're never going to give up that vow, that commitment, that orientation, because nothing else makes sense. Something inside of me prevents me from intentionally causing harm or killing any living being. With that kind of love, I don't even have to make that commitment; it is the commitment. It's just here. It's not even a choice.

There is the love that is kind words, kind speech—being in relationship with people in a way that supports friendly relationships. There is the love of respect, a deep appreciation, maybe the kind where you are willing to bow even if you disagree with people. There's something about respecting them without agreeing with them.

And then there is the vow of love. "Yes, this is what I want to base my life on. This is what my life is based on, and I want to remember this." So part of the vow is simply expressed in the idea: "I'm committed to remembering this part of me, because this is what I want to base my life on, or what my life in its most meaningful way is based on, and I don't want to lose touch with that." So I'll stay in touch with it through a commitment—touching with a hand, with fingers, going by the etymology of the word commitment.

As we practice the Dharma, as we practice this kind of deep meditation, at some point we touch something inside of us that is going to guide how we live our life—from this place of peace, from this place of freedom, from this place of love. Some people might call it a calling. Some people call it an inspiration. Some people might just call it love itself.

There's a natural sense of, "Yes, this is what I want to do," and it can change whole lives. People realize that the life they have been living is not based on that. Maybe the life they were living was based on becoming wealthy, which at some point has a hollowness to it, or becoming famous. There are all kinds of things—as we get older, professions and different things begin to be questioned a little bit because of the root motivation of why we're doing them. As practice reveals a deeper, more meaningful motivation of how to live a life, some people will change their jobs, change their work, or change the direction of their life so they can enact and live from this deep place.

I offer this to you not as something any one of you is supposed to do, but I'm offering this so that you might recognize this in yourself someday. Through the practice, through the practice of love, you might find yourself thinking, "Oh, look at that, this is what Gil was talking about. This wants to be my guide. This is what I want to base my life on." Even if it means having to make some major changes in your life. Or maybe you realize, "This is how I want to base my life. I don't have to change anything, but I'm going to change how I do the things in my life. I'm going to approach them differently now. I'm going to approach them as opportunities to love, opportunities for kindness, friendship, and opportunities for freedom."

Over this weekend, you might reflect on these words: vow, commitment, aspiration, deep intention. See if, when you spend time thinking and reflecting on it, you can find your deepest intention. What is the deepest place where you say an unqualifying "Yes, this is the source. This is the guide for how I really want to live if I could"? Explore it and discuss it. Don't settle on the first answer. Maybe there are different answers, an ecology of answers that somehow have a common denominator. If you have friends, you can talk to them about this. You can journal about it. Go on walks by yourself and reflect on it. Explore this area and see what depth is inside of you. What do you recognize there?

If that doesn't open to something inside, you can switch the question to: "If nothing that Gil talks about is relevant for me, what is my life based on? Is there a guiding principle? Is there a guiding orientation, intention, or desire? What is it that drives my life?"

If you can't find anything at all, then I worry a little bit that people are all too easily led by others who tell them the answers, tell them what they should believe, or tell them what they should do. In this practice, we become the agent for how we live our life.

Thank you very much, and I look forward to coming back for at least one more week for this lengthy theme of love. Thank you.