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Happy Hour: Radiating Metta to All Beings

Hello and welcome everyone. It is lovely to see your faces on Zoom and feel your presence on YouTube, wherever you're joining from in the world. Lovely to be with you.

For the practice for today, there are so many beautiful practices to choose from. Many of you know that Diana and I were teaching a metta^[1] retreat last week online. In fact, some of you were on the retreat—it is good to see you and practice with you.

Having been in a container of metta for one week, how nourishing it is. Metta can shape-shift into the other practices of compassion, vicarious joy, gratitude, equanimity, and so on. Having led many different practices this past week and sat in them myself, what feels really resonant is the last practice that I invited folks to explore on the retreat, which is radiating metta.

Radiating metta over the entire world can be such a joyous practice. It can be likened to feeling like Santa Claus, giving gifts of kindness. If you remember a time that you have generously given gifts of kindness, how uplifting and supportive for you that has felt. To share your generosity—here I am, here is this being who is me—just sharing your generosity without any expectation for return or reciprocity. Sharing your kindness and your gifts can be very joyful; it can fill our hearts with gladness and happiness.

Sometimes when people do this practice of metta—loving-kindness for all beings—the instructions are for a gradual cultivation. We practice concentric circles, starting from where it's easy and moving out, including more and more, expanding more and more. The final category of "all beings" just includes everything and everyone.

With this idea of radiating for everyone and everything, sometimes when people do this practice, they tune into challenges. This can happen not just with metta for all beings, but even metta for a dear person, or even for ourselves. When we're sharing loving-kindness and then our mind tunes into difficulty—say, if we're doing it for ourselves, we get this sense of, "Oh, but I'm having such a hard time." Then the practice of metta becomes a practice of compassion because it's meeting challenges.

Similarly, if we do this practice for someone who's near and dear to us, a benefactor or dear friend, when metta meets challenge, we feel, "Oh, they're going through a hard time." First we're just practicing metta simply: "May you be safe. May you be happy. May you be free from suffering." When kindness meets suffering, it becomes compassion.

When people are trying to share their goodness with all beings everywhere, suffering in the world comes up for them. They tune into the suffering, like, "Oh, so many people in the world are suffering, so many animals." At that point, the practice becomes a practice of compassion. It's not pure metta anymore, because metta is when we're wishing loving-kindness for neutral beings. At that point, metta has shape-shifted to compassion. Not to say it's a problem or it's wrong, but just to recognize at that point, "Oh, your mind is tuning into the suffering, so the practice has become compassion," which is okay.

If you want to keep the practice as a metta practice for all beings—just wishing well—then tune into just the gift, the gift of generosity of the metta, and imagine beings who are in a neutral situation. They're not suffering, neither are they really happy nor unhappy. That's the trick here to keep this practice in the channel of metta.

Without further ado, let's practice. Let's give our hearts to this practice.

Guided Meditation

Arriving in our bodies, always starting with the body. Landing in the body here. Connecting with the breath. Connecting with this breathing, sitting body, turning our gaze inward.

The gift of this moment, the gift of this breath.

When thoughts arise, not that there is anything wrong with thinking per se, but in this moment we turn our hearts, turn our attention, away from thinking. Thank you, not now, please come back later, thoughts. Turning away, letting go.

Gently smiling, and turning towards this breath, the sensations of the body in this moment. Soothing, healing, nurturing, like a lullaby. In-breath, out-breath.

Can we feel nourished, receiving the breath? Just the simplicity of sitting and being breathed. Just this breath, just this moment.

Imagine as if the breath is entering and exiting through the middle of your chest, through the proverbial heart center. With each breath, a sense of kindness, friendliness, is awakened on its own. As if there's a holy fire in the middle of your chest and the breath is billowing on the embers.

Feeling the warmth. Maybe the image of a golden light works better for you if not fire. It's okay, whatever works. With each breath, this golden light, this golden orb of goodwill, becomes brighter and brighter. Shining radiantly with warmth, with care.

Appreciating your inner goodness. Trusting in your inner goodness, your power to care, to be friendly and kind. Just witnessing with each breath. Letting this light, this warmth, this fire, be nourishing to you first. Heating you up, radiating through your body.

Let yourself feel nourished, relaxing, resting. Warmed by this glow, which is both yours and not yours. You're acknowledging it as yours, perhaps, and yet it is part of your Buddha nature^[2]. This goodness, this capacity, is here. You're just acknowledging it, helping it glow more brightly.

Let this practice be easeful, not effortful. You're not pushing it out, just acknowledging and observing the glow, the warmth, the care that's shining out, radiating out. First, it touches you. Now acknowledging it radiating outward, your whole body radiant. Your whole body as a vessel of kindness. Just because you exist in this world, just because you breathe, kindness and goodwill can radiate out.

From your thoughts, your words, your actions in the world, just as you're sitting, from your thoughts of loving-kindness, from turning your mind and your heart towards kindness, goodness can radiate out in ways you can't imagine. Let it flow, radiating outward in all directions.

Radiating from your chest forward, your body forward. All beings who come in contact with this radiating metta feel gladness, feel your goodwill, feel your care. "May you be well, dear being." Human, four-legged animal, flying beings, swimming beings, slithering, hopping. All beings.

To my right side, "May you be well." Let it be easeful, just resting in a sense of ease and contentment. Let it radiate out, not pushing. It radiates on its own, you just hold witness.

Extending to all the beings behind you. Radiating kindness backwards. To your left, draped in light. All around you, shining out kindness. "May you be well." Or simply using the four phrases if you wish: "May you be safe. May you be happy. May you be healthy. May you have ease."

And upwards. All the beings above you, flying, orbiting. And all the beings below you: insects, beings on the other side of the Earth, all around you.

As if there are tiny Santa Clauses dispatched all around the globe. We're little Tinker Bells of light, blessing, sharing your kindness to all beings. "May you be well." Sharing gifts of kindness.

If it helps, you can bring some classes of beings to mind, without it becoming too busy. Maybe all babies, all human babies, all over the globe, whatever color, nationality, race, or conditions there. "May you be well, may you be happy." All animal babies, all the kittens, all calves, all baby birds, all young fish, all baby spiders. You can have fun with this practice. Cultivating.

And in this radiating of metta, remember you are included. You are part of all beings. And so are your dear beings, your friends, your benefactors, family, loved ones. All the people who are neutral in the world, you don't know them. Also let the beings you have challenges with be included, if it doesn't make the practice too challenging. All beings everywhere.

Let it be a joyous practice of generosity. With each breath, "May all beings be well. May all beings be happy."

If difficult mind states arise—boredom, irritability, irritation—let that be held with kindness. Meeting all experience too with kindness, with a smile.

Expansiveness of the heart. "May all beings be well. May all beings be happy." Expansive, unbounded, exultant.

Imagine perhaps all the beings around the world, all the two-legged beings. "May all be well." All humans, on so many different continents. All the creatures of the sea, "May you be well." May all the creatures of the skies, all the animals of the land, whatever the size might be, short, medium, or tall.

Now checking in to see what it feels like to be radiating, wishing well for all beings. Excluding none. Whether there is a sense of more ease, contentment, just settling maybe.

In the last moments of this practice period, acknowledging this radiance of metta is our true nature. We're not creating it, fabricating it, it's already here. We just acknowledge it, and by acknowledging we cultivate it to be more readily available.

Letting this goodness nourish us, as if we're sitting in it. This light, this warmth, as if it's a big warm hug. "May I be well. May I be safe, happy, healthy. May I have ease." And may all of this goodness flow through me, flow to others beyond me through this vessel that is me.

"May all beings be well. May all beings be happy. May all beings be free."

Thank you for your practice, everyone, dear sangha^[3]. Those on Zoom, those on YouTube joining us. This can be a joyful practice, just giving gifts, letting it flow. Let it shine, let your light shine.

Reflections

We have some time for any reflections—what you might have observed. For the benefit of others, for the benefit of the sangha, we share our reflections. It may be of support: "This is what I discovered," "This is what opened up for me," or "This is what I'm confused by," "This is what didn't work." Both for your benefit and the benefit of others. You're invited to raise your Zoom hand if you'd like to share. You can also type in the chat. If typed to me alone, I won't read your name, it will be a private reflection. If typed to everyone, then it will be a public reflection and I will read your name. Any reflections? What did you discover?

There's a comment that says, "Big thanks on YouTube." You are welcome. Thank you for joining and practicing.

Sujang: I just want to thank you for a lovely practice again. It was just lovely to see you today. I've been missing you both for about a week, I guess. I was so distracted by someone cleaning my place right now. They're going back and forth wearing a mask, and I really tried hard to be present, but then I was not able to, I have to confess. At the same time, I'm trying to just let go of the controlling part, like, "Did she clean this part? Did she do what I said?" So I was just sitting here like, "Okay, let it be for 30 minutes, whatever happens, just let it unfold and let go of it." But I'm actually inside of a small little room, and I'm thinking, "You know what, I'll just let go of it."

Nikki: Great, thanks for sharing that, Sujang. It's lovely to be back to see you and everyone in the sangha. I've missed you all as well. Regarding what you're talking about, I have two reflections. One is regarding letting go—letting go of control. Letting go is also related to metta. When we let go of control, there's a sense of offering generosity, offering a gift. It's like, "It's okay." We're offering this gift of metta to ourselves when we're not holding tight, just letting go. I appreciate that you're playing with this letting go.

Another reflection is when this other person is doing what you asked them to do, you can include them in the metta. You can include yourself in the metta in this practice, because it's all beings. The person who is cleaning, who is offering their service and their time, can very well be included in that. "May you be well, may you be safe." With your thoughts of control, just offering yourself kindness. Expanding, really directing this metta to whatever is arising in the space of awareness. Does that make sense, what I'm inviting you to play with? Next time you can try that. Of course, letting go is lovely, and that's beautiful.

Sujang: Okay, so letting her do whatever she has to do, I think that's also like a practice, right?

Nikki: Yeah, because that's what you're essentially doing anyway. You're not getting up to go interrupt, so you might as well offer her the gift of metta in your heart. Because you're actually doing it, but there's a little bit of holding back. Holding back metta with doubt, "Is she doing the right thing?" Oh, may she be well, she's doing her best. Because you're not getting up to go interrupt anyway, in this way you're offering your own mind peace. That's what I'm pointing out. By giving her metta, you're offering your own mind and heart peace. That's what's beautiful about this practice. We think we're doing a favor to the other person, but actually, we're doing ourselves a favor. Freeing your own heart up from, "Oh, what's happening?"

Sujang: That makes sense. Thank you.

Nikki: I have some reflections here in the chat: "Lovely meditation, thanks." You're welcome. "I loved generating the feelings of radiating love first before starting the words." Ah, lovely.

"Do you have any suggestions for if I find it really hard? For me sometimes it's hard to believe that I have Buddha nature in me. I feel like I've forgotten how to have a kind attitude. I know I have it other times, but today it feels so distant."

I appreciate the question. I think the last part that you said—"I know I have it other times"—is the stepping stone. You know you have it some other times, but today it feels distant. So you trust that you have it. You land in that trust that it's available other times, and that's enough, just sitting with that. "Yeah, I trust that it's available to me other times." And then maybe even bringing to mind a memory of times you have been kind, say to a friend or a child, like, "Oh yeah, it's not so distant." Bring the memory in, and that helps rekindle it.

A reflection from someone who was on the retreat: "So glad for this beautiful continuity. It's really helping with the challenges of integration and missing being steeped in the Three Jewels^[4]."

That's very sweet. So glad Kathryn that you can join Happy Hour on YouTube and support the continuity. Next time you can join on Zoom, because now we're going to be enjoying the third jewel of sangha by speaking with each other in small communities. Just spreading each other's kindness, receiving kindness, and spreading kindness. It's very simple, it's not big. We all have it, we're all these candles or orbs of light or shining bright suns, whatever metaphor works for you tonight.

With that, I would like to invite us, as we get into the breakout rooms, to start with fifteen seconds of silent metta for each other. Just silently holding each other with kindness. Then you can share as much or as little as you like about your practice—a few words, or just holding witness and listening to each other. With that, I am going to open the rooms. Maybe we'll have seven or eight minutes tonight. Here we go, enjoy.

[Breakout rooms commence and conclude]

Welcome back everyone! We have a couple of minutes for any reflections on what might have come up during the practice, silently or in the group. If you haven't shared, you're welcome to raise your hand or type in chat what's up for the benefit of all beings.

I see a lot of smiles. Ariana, please.

Ariana: At least one other person in our breakout group referred to this time as our reward at the end of a difficult day. So I wanted to thank you for that, it's always a reward. Thank you.

Nikki: Thank you so much for sharing that. That is such a gift to hear, Ariana. Thank you. Fred, I see your hand.

Fred: I was realizing during the meditation that earlier today, a friend had asked me to help him on a project which I'm skeptical that I can be very effective in helping with. But I could feel some of the muscles developed from this regular practice that allowed me to say, "Yeah, what the hell, let's give it a try." I think that's the source. Who knows if it'll work out, but it's better to try.

Nikki: That's sweet. Thanks for sharing that, Fred. It's the workings of this practice, how it manifests in the world in the way of, "Yeah, why not? I'm gonna try to help you. It may not work out, but I'm gonna try to help you." How beautiful is that muscle. Thanks so much for sharing that, and allowing us to hold witness to the beauty of this manifestation in the world, the way your practice is showing up.

We all celebrate together our practice and the seeds that we plant, and the way they show up. I am delighted that this is a reward, because it's so sweet to come together and practice. It is really a gift at the end of a long, perhaps hard day.

So with all that, thank you for your practice, dear ones. May you be well, may you be free, may you be happy, and all beings everywhere. Thank you.