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Mindfulness of Breathing (50) Equanimity Factor of Awakening (Part 2)

Today is part two of the equanimity factor of awakening. It's also part of this series on mindfulness of breathing, which the Buddha presented a little bit like a path: as we stay present for our breath, we are cultivating and deepening the meditation practice. With a deep relaxation of the body and a deep relaxation of the mind, we're not just focused on the details of our life, or the particular activities of the body or mind. We start becoming aware of the mind state, the quality of our mind, and the feeling of the gestalt or wholeness of awareness that can just be here holding it all.

It's a fairly mature place in meditation that we might fall into occasionally, where the mind state is more salient and prominent than the particular details of what's happening in our body or mind. All of the above are important, but to be more holistic in the practice at some point, we get a sense of the mind as a whole—the mood or mind state that we have.

These mind states have various characteristics. When we get more settled and the mind feels whole, expansive, or clear, there is greater clarity and mindfulness, and the seven factors of awakening are part of that. The last one, equanimity, is the part where, when we're really stable in a strong awareness and a wholesome mind state, it tends to come with a strong sense of equanimity.

Equanimity is, very simply, not getting caught in the reactivity of the mind of being for and against things. It's a wonderful capacity. We still might be for and against things, and we might have those thoughts or impulses a little bit, but with equanimity, we simply don't pick it up. We don't get involved. They just pass through; they're just fleeting impulses of the moment that come and go, and we don't get involved.

This can lead to a tremendous social good. When we don't respond socially into the world by our reactivity—by the quick impulses of being for and against things^[1]—then we're more likely to be impartial in a really healthy understanding of impartiality. We treat everyone equally, or we don't treat people through the filter of our desires and aversions, leaning in to unwanting or pulling back because we don't want something. We don't so easily get pulled into our preferences.

A sense of justice, a sense of impartiality, and a sense of being someone who is safe for other people becomes stronger the more we have this equanimity—this ability to not get caught up in our reactivity or these impulses of being for and against all kinds of things. There might still be a wise being for and against things, but that wisdom builds on equanimity, on being stable and settled. It's not impulsive. There's a clarity and a wholesomeness in how we respond to the world.

So equanimity is both something for deep meditation and for everyday life. It's a great boon for life. In deeper and deeper meditation, it is a place where some people can really feel this state of equanimity in a very powerful way that gives us a feeling for it, and then it is a support for what it's like to bring that into our daily life.

But in the ānāpānasati^[2] process, the reference point for it is very much in meditation. In meditation, equanimity is what allows the mindfulness to be uninterrupted, to just stay in the flow of awareness right here. We don't find ourselves drifting off in thought and coming back two or three minutes later. We don't find ourselves getting caught and preoccupied by what's happening. Now, we might be very attentive to what's happening, but we're not caught by it. The steadiness of mindfulness holds the course, keeps walking, and keeps engaging step by step. Equanimity allows that steadiness and continuity of awareness.

Equanimity, or upekkhā^[3], as I said yesterday, has a lot to do with wisdom—having an overview of the situation. It's not a wisdom that is acquired knowledge that we bring with us and apply, but rather something that we deeply understand as we go along.

There's a variety of things to this wisdom. One can be realizing that it's not worthwhile being reactive. It's not worthwhile being caught up in thoughts or in our reactivity; it's just not valuable for us, and we can feel and sense that directly.

Another is that we can have a clear feeling for the impermanence of phenomena—the inconstancy of how things come, go, and change. To really understand that means we don't relate to things as if they're going to be there forever, or as if they are something fixed that has to stay fixed. Having a clear sense that something is impermanent and subject to change allows us to step back and just be willing to be present and aware.

There is also the wisdom of not taking all these things personally, recognizing that I am not unique and my experience is not unique. Probably all the experiences we've had in meditation, one way or another, others have had as well. One of the primary roles of a meditation teacher is sometimes to normalize people's experiences—to just make it ordinary. It's okay; it's just part of the process. This helps us keep coming back to the equanimous, steady mindfulness that doesn't get perturbed or agitated no matter what is happening—no matter the fear, the pain, or the suffering that we're experiencing in meditation. It's all normalized in a certain way. Not taking it personally is one of those ways. So there's a variety of wisdoms that come into play that really support this ability to stay equanimous, balanced, and unagitated in our experience.

But this equanimity also comes from a sense of balance, and balance has something to do with inner strength to be cultivated. When there's a strength of mindfulness, a strength of concentration, and a strength of stability, it's kind of like we have something that holds us down and keeps us grounded. It allows us to withstand the winds of the mind, the winds of change, and things that come and go. We develop that strength by the continuity of meditation—meditating almost every day and regularly. The mind is an instrument that can be developed, strengthened, and trained. Not everyone develops their mind or trains their mind to be strong.

Part of what ongoing, regular meditation practice is about is not just showing up and being mindful of stuff and accepting stuff, but also developing an inner strength, a capacity to let go, a capacity to really stay present and steady with experience, and not wander off into all kinds of things. A strength of concentration, a strength of even joy. As we get stronger and stronger, we're not buffeted so much by the winds of change and what goes on, and we're more able to hold the course.

As the ninth step of this ānāpānasati, mindfulness of the mind is to start experiencing and sensing that we have this amazing resource, this amazing thing called citta^[4]—the mind that we want to care for. That is a reference point for a well-being and a wholeness that any kind of suffering we have is just a subset of. When the mind is really spacious, open, expansive, and present, we're aware of the citta in a bigger way. It's much harder to take our greeds, attachments, lusts, addictions, hates, hostilities, regrets, resentments, and fears as being all there is. They all become a piece of the puzzle; they're not the whole puzzle. The whole puzzle feels more like the mind that can be aware of it all.

There can be a feeling of great goodness, great rightness, and a sense of a mind or inner life which is whole. Whether it feels completely whole or completely satisfying as I'm describing here, that keeps coming as we continue the practice of ānāpānasati. Step ten is gladdening the mind, or feeling the satisfaction of the mind, of being connected to this mind that feels more whole.

Then the eleventh step is samādhi^[5], which is concentrating the mind or unifying the mind. We'll talk about that soon enough, and that's what makes the mind even more whole. It's a fantastic process here. I know that it's not easy to experience all these things I'm talking about, but part of the confidence in practice is to know that you're on a good path. Part of the equanimity that comes with practice is the confidence that this is a good path to be on. I can just walk this path steadily and keep going. I don't have to be too concerned about how far I've gotten, because I know I'm on a good path and I'll keep walking.

Thank you for today, and I look forward, as I almost every day do now, to coming, sitting, and teaching here with you. Thank you.