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Guided Meditation: Avoiding the Unwholesome

So, good day. I certainly feel kind of full, or happy, to be here with you, and also feeling a little bit quiet. So I'll leave it at the welcome.

Navigating between the skillful and the unskillful, the wholesome and the unwholesome, is the path of practice. Navigating towards the wholesome and away from the unwholesome is moving towards what's beneficial. The wholesome is seen as that which is healthy and nourishing. Also, one of the connotations of the word kusala^[1] is that which is clever—clever not in the sense of being tricky, but wise, and being able to differentiate between what is unwholesome and what is wholesome.

In doing meditation practice, one of the central areas to distinguish between this is with how we are responding to the present moment. If we're responding with mindfulness and attention—how we are attentive—is the attention wholesome or unwholesome? Is the attention nourishing, or does it feel healthy? Is it inspiring? The way that we're paying attention, do you feel the goodness of it?

This is as opposed to paying attention where sometimes people use their attention in practice, both for mindfulness and for concentration, in ways that, if you really pay attention to it, would not feel so inspiring or beneficial. There's straining and pushing, a sense of heavy duty, and ideas of "I have to do it right," "I'm not good enough for this," or "this is so hard." There might be a feeling of discouragement, or there might be some complacency, a lackadaisical nature. Yes, we're kind of paying attention, but we're really not that interested, and we're here kind of by rote. There are all kinds of ways in which the attention, if we pay attention to how we're attentive, doesn't really inspire anything.

But there are ways of doing it that do inspire—not in an excited way, but in a way that arouses interest and engagement. That is peaceful, that feels settling, that feels beneficial. It feels like an ambrosia of sweetness that settles us. So as we do this meditation today, you might see if you can distinguish between the kind of attention that you're using. Notice the kind of engagement and mindfulness that maybe carries with it some unhelpful qualities, and then see if you can explore how to bring some helpful qualities of attention.

One of those is a simplicity and a matter-of-factness—just an engagement in a clear, wholehearted way, but without any strain or pushing. It is something that is opening to experience, resting in experience, or lovingly receiving the experience, for example, the breathing.

So, to enter into a wholesome or skillful posture, which is always very personal—the posture that is beneficial—take some time in adjusting the small details of posture that gets things kind of lined up. And then close your eyes. This is moving towards the wholesome, to what's beneficial. It begins right away, can begin right away.

Maybe you could find a nourishing or nurturing attention. Maybe the attention can be free of greed or aversion. Maybe the attention can have, ever so slightly, qualities of generosity, giving our attention. Qualities of care, love, or kindness. Maybe valuing and appreciating attention itself, and that we're attending to our experience.

With this kind of attention, take a few long, slow, deep breaths. Settling in as you exhale. Relaxing the body as you exhale deeply. Give in to your weight, settling into your seat, the place that's holding you up. And letting your breathing return to normal.

Then, bring a wholesome attention to the breathing. Or, notice any unwholesomeness—anything that's not inspiring about the effort or the way that you're attending now to your experience. Orient yourself quietly to a quiet attitude that's maybe free of greed or aversion. Simplicity.

And as you exhale, relax and soften the muscles of the face. Relax and soften the shoulders. Relax and soften the belly. This dedication to the wholesome means that even the effort to see the wholesome and avoid the unwholesome is done wholesomely, not anxiously. Not with the idea that you have to do it right, that there's a wrong way, or that you're good or you're bad. Just a simple appreciation and recognition that if you're doing it in an unwholesome way, there is a better way. Rather than there being a right way, there is a nurturing way.

So we're not condemning anything or condemning ourselves. Just be here to attend wisely, carefully, lovingly, to each in-breath and each out-breath. Being a friend to the in-breath and a friend to the out-breath. Here, attending to the breathing in the wholesome way that you would attend to someone you cared for a lot.

If you're lost in thought, is your thinking wholesome or unwholesome? And even if the thinking is wholesome, maybe it's not nourishing or supportive for the wholesome presence of mind in the present moment. So let go of your thinking and enter into the world of attention and awareness.

And then as we come to the end of the sitting, it's a time to turn our attention outward into the world that we will maybe encounter today, of other people and activities. Here too, the Buddhist orientation is to avoid being in the world unskillfully, unwholesomely, but to orient ourselves to what is wholesome and beneficial, inspiring and nourishing.

Orient ourselves to the world in a way that doesn't involve grim duty and obligation, but rather has a kind regard for others, a care for others, compassion, love, and friendliness that is not forced. It is not, in a sense, required, but rather something which is inspiring, and is expressed in personal ways so that we know it is beneficial for ourselves, nourishing, and self-inspiring.

In that way, how we relate to the world and to ourselves becomes part of the path of liberation and freedom, because it brings these good qualities to the forefront in our lives. So turn the attention outward now to the world, to the people, and in your own way, gaze upon the world kindly. Have thoughts of well-wishing and goodwill for others, in a way that you feel good about having it, because it's your own way, to the extent and interest that you have.

And with that in mind, maybe these words can express your goodwill or represent them: May all beings be happy. May all beings be safe. May all beings be peaceful. And may all beings be free. And may each of us, in our own way that's nourishing and wholesome for us and for the world, contribute to the welfare and happiness of all beings.

[Music]

Dharmette: Kusala (3 of 10) Understanding the Unwholesome

Okay, so I think it works now. There are only three buttons I have to push, but sometimes that's too many for me.

In talking about wholesomeness and unwholesomeness this week, today I'm going to talk about the unwholesome. I think that understanding what the Buddha's teachings are on this topic, or how he saw this topic, helps us to study and investigate how it is for us personally. It gives us ideas or an orientation to really see what the impact is of some of the attitudes we have, some of our behavior, some of the ways we speak, and even some of the ways we think. Because some of that, maybe occasionally, can be unwholesome, uninspiring, unskillful, or unbeneficial.

So to look at this topic of the unwholesome, we look in particular at what are called the three roots of the unwholesome, kind of the source for all things which are unwholesome. First, the unwholesome is described as involving suffering in this very life, involving stress in this very life. Sometimes people take the word "suffering" to mean only the big things in life are suffering. But the word dukkha^[2] can be anything ranging from even mild forms of stress or mild forms of distress. Not just discomfort, because that's too broad, but mild forms of suffering.

Whatever is unwholesome always involves some degree of dukkha. The Buddha goes on and says it involves vexation, despair, and fever. Those are strong words, so we have to understand that there can be mild versions of it as well, but it always involves some way in which it harms ourselves, that there's a kind of self-harm involved. It involves discomfort. So the unwholesome always involves dukkha, harm, and discomfort.

When we act with hostility, when we act in a mean way to people, when we are consumed with meanness or criticalness of ourselves, or when we are greedy—this is not a moralistic teaching, like you shouldn't do those things because that's the immoral thing to do according to some abstract morality coming from the outside. Rather, the pragmatic and experiential orientation of the Buddha is always: How does it feel? How am I experiencing myself? What's the impact of this on myself, right here?

Rather than looking into the moral rule books to find out if it is okay to lie, steal, or gossip negatively about friends, what we can do in practice—and this is why mindfulness is so amazingly useful—is develop a strong capacity for self-reflection and self-awareness. You don't go to the rule books, but you go to your own heart. You go to yourself, and you see what the impact of this behavior is, this attitude, this way of speaking.

It's possible, with heightened sensitivity, to feel the way that it causes suffering, pain, and discomfort for oneself. It's not nourishing, it's not inspiring. In fact, when really being mindful and seeing the impact of the way we are, some people actually get uninspired; they get dismayed and discouraged. They feel the way some of this stuff works. Even though some of the ways of acting unwholesomely^[3] are energizing, and people feel the pleasure of being alive when they're hateful and angry at other people, there is a way in which it really is draining some essential vitality and goodness within us, some wholeness, some way of being really connected to ourselves.

Because with this kind of anger and, many times, this unhealthy behavior, the focus is outwardly directed in such a way that we are out of touch with what's behind that outward movement. That is true for ourselves as well. If we're really mean or critical of ourselves, then there's a way in which we treat ourselves as an object and we don't see what's behind it. We don't see the way that we're aware. We don't see the impact it has on closing us down, the contracting, or the discomfort of it. So this reference point of the impact that our attitudes, thoughts, speech, and behavior have—and really taking that in, in a deep way, is important.

I've known people who've only experienced the impact of their behavior, of what they've done, years later, when they finally kind of woke up. They were just shocked. Sometimes it became like lightning, like, "Oh my, wow, I can't believe it, I really hurt someone." It's better late than never, but even better is to feel it right away.

For the Buddha, the unwholesome is—in modern English, we talk about instant karma. There's this instant way in which, simultaneously acting on it, we can feel how it's debilitating or draining. It limits us, closes us off, and compartmentalizes us so we're not really whole and full anymore. This is the vexation, despair, and fever, especially when it's really strong.

We can certainly look at all this and become aware of it so that we can then not do it, and think that's good, or that's fine in itself. But it's important not to underestimate the value of this for the Buddha, who has a very pragmatic orientation towards the Dharma^[4], towards his teaching. It is very functional, very experiential, and immediate. It wasn't metaphysics, there weren't abstractions, and there wasn't some kind of divine authority beyond. Everything unfolds here in our experience. This is where we discover peace, and this is where we discover how we're not at peace.

The Buddha talked about how you can know the Dharma really for yourself. The way he talked about it is that this Dharma he's teaching or pointing to is visible here and now. It's immediate. It has to do with right now. It invites itself to be seen by you, by oneself. It's kind of like, "Come here, can you look at this?" There's a kind of pull of attention towards this if you're really attentive. And it's onward leading; it has a consequence that's beneficial, that leads us to more and more goodness, and it's personally realized by the wise. So again, it's very personal, pragmatic pragmatism. That's the Dharma.

And how is it that way? When you know there is greed, hatred, and delusion—first you have to know it's there—and then when you know there is no greed, no hatred, and no delusion within you. To see that movement, to go from the unwholesome to the wholesome, the absence of the unwholesome and then the presence of the wholesome. Then you know that the Dharma is visible here and now, immediate, inviting inspection, inviting to be seen, onward leading, and personally realized by the wise.

This emphasis on greed, hate, and delusion here is because, in the Buddha's eyes, in the Buddhist experience, all things which are unwholesome—and maybe it's almost the definition of unwholesome—are in one way or the other rooted in greed, hatred, and delusion. Again, it could be very mild forms of greed, craving, compulsion, compulsive desire, or hatred. It can be very mild or it can be very strong, but the mild forms of the unwholesome maybe have mild forms of greed, hate, and delusion. This is a common denominator for all things which are unwholesome.

That's why to really get down and see underneath our behavior, to see the greed, hate, and delusion, and let go of it, to come to an end of it—that is how we see these pragmatic teachings of the Buddha. This experiential approach that he has is very personal because this is only something that we can know for ourselves in the way that we experience and know it for ourselves.

So the emphasis today is on this very personal, experiential reference point for the Dharma, for the Buddhist teachings, for the path of liberation, and, if you use modern English terminology, for ethics or for morality. That morality can spring out of a very deep connection to oneself. We know for ourselves, and that is kind of inspiring: to have our ethics, our morality, how we live in the world, really well up from a deep understanding within. It is a wellspring, a source of goodness that carries us along in that goodness, as opposed to carrying us along in a sense of grim duty or fear of some retribution.

So, it might happen that in the next 24 hours, a few of you might have some thought, speech, act, or behavior that you recognize as being unwholesome. If you do, then take that opportunity to turn your attention back on yourself. Really see how it's impacting you, and see if you can see the way that it has a negative impact—maybe an impact you don't really want to have, one that is not very inspiring.

And the stronger your bout of the unwholesome is, the better it is for this exercise. Don't go invent unwholesomeness for the exercise! But the stronger your bout of somehow doing something unwholesome—expressions of greed, hatred, and delusion—the more clarity I think you can have in this exercise of really seeing the impact it has on you. We'll continue with this tomorrow. Thank you.