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Happy Hour: St. Metta Day

Introduction

Hello friends, and welcome to Happy Hour. Let's begin by saying hello, welcoming ourselves, and welcoming each other. I'll start by saying hi, I'm Nikki in Mountain View, California on unceded Ohlone land. Who is here and wants to say hello? Take it away.

[Various greetings from participants]

Let's begin. I think the space is warmed up, so let's transition. Thank you, Neil, for posting information about the Happy Hour Google Groups. If you are new to Happy Hour, you're warmly invited to join to get quotes and references. As I like to say, it's low in traffic but high in heartfulness.

For today's practice, I wanted to seed a couple of things. One is this invitation for considering that our intention leads everything. Everything in our lives and in the world starts with our intention, and inviting ourselves to this cultivation is really the very first step. I want to share a poem written by a fellow practitioner. It's inspiring and beautiful. The poem is called A Prayer for Awakening. I'll share it again when we're practicing, but just to drop it in:

"May my mind be expansive enough to hold whatever comes to visit. May my heart be brave enough to face all that is before me. May my eyes be sharp enough to see whatever is there. May my ears be keen enough to hear all that is said. And may my arms be long enough to embrace all that needs comforting."

This invocation of "may I cultivate my heart and myself in these beautiful ways"—I invite you to consider what invocation you have for your heart and your life as a practitioner.

Another thing I wanted to seed, besides this idea of intention, is that tomorrow in the West, especially in the US, is Valentine's Day. That actually can bring some sadness for many people: "Oh, I don't have a Valentine or a partner." There are so many beautiful ways to construe and perceive this idea of love. Let's celebrate Saint Valentine's Day—tonight being the eve of it and tomorrow the day of it—as a way to celebrate self-love. It is a day to celebrate this beloved that is ourselves. This being that we usually forsake for another, we just forget that there's this wonderful being that needs and appreciates love first and foremost.

Also, let's celebrate it as a day for universal love. It doesn't have to just be this one person, a tit-for-tat of "I like you if you do this for me." Can we just be kind? Can we be loving to whoever shows up on our path, like the grocery store clerk? Can we share our good will, metta^[1], as a sense of the interconnection we have with every human being, instead of just thinking of this in a limited way? We are really expanding this idea. So, happy Saint Metta Day! That's what I like to call Saint Valentine's Day. It's really Saint Metta Day. It's metta in any way, shape, or form.

Is that plenty? Let's practice together.

Guided Meditation

I invite you to land in your bodies. To arrive. To arrive with your invocation, with your intention, whatever it is in this moment.

Maybe you are inspired by the poem I read from a fellow practitioner. Maybe their invocation is a seed for yours.

May my mind be expansive enough to hold whatever comes to visit. Resting and breathing with that.

May my inner eyes be sharp enough and open enough internally to see whatever is there, whatever arises. Whatever is here. Clear seeing.

May my ears be keen enough to hear all that is said, all that is communicated, internally and externally. Deep listening to myself, to the universe, to others.

And may my proverbial arms be long enough to embrace all that needs comforting. Which might start with my own heart, myself. I may need comforting in this moment, this body, this heart, as well as others.

Connecting with the body, with our intention, with the breath.

May my heart be limitless. Knowing its exalted and boundless capacity for care and love for all beings, for myself, for others. Kindness and good will everywhere.

May I accept and love myself just as I am.

Connecting with the breath, with the body, with intentions, with good will. If your thoughts are arising and you find yourself entangled in thought, it's okay. We gently let them go and reconnect with our intention, our presence, our kindness, and good will. Starting with this being here and now. Breathing. Alive, with just this breath.

May I love and accept myself just as I am. I love and accept this body, especially if it's having challenges right now, just as it is. With each breath, relaxing into, opening to whatever is arising in this moment.

May I meet this moment with kindness. May I meet this moment, this body, this heart, this mind. May I meet all that arises with kindness.

May I meet myself as my Valentine, a beloved other. May I open my heart to myself fully. Loving, accepting, cherishing this complex human being that is me, who is doing their best. Who, in the words of Suzuki Roshi, is perfect. This being with me is perfect just as they are, just as I am, and there's always room for improvement.

Can I open my heart to this being here fully in this moment? Just for a moment, risking it for just a moment to step in and see what it feels like.

Love heals. Love heals. Can you offer yourself some healing love? See the good. See the good.

Now, expanding our hearts, they are expandable. What if we meet someone we know, or maybe don't even know, as a Valentine? Seeing their goodness, seeing their humanity. It is said that the Dalai Lama, whenever he meets someone, makes that person feel like they're the most important person in the world. He gives them his attention, care, and kind gaze. Honoring each person, each being, their uniqueness, their goodness.

What if you did that tomorrow on Saint Metta Day, Saint Valentine's Day, with the barista who makes your coffee? See their humanity. Give them your metta. The whole world is full of Valentines, full of these beautiful expressions of humanity. Why not start tonight with the beings who are practicing with you?

If it feels overwhelming, come back. See yourself as a Valentine, a beloved other, a beautiful human being. As perfect as you are, knowing there is always room for improvement. All of us are mixed bags, and all of us are worthy of care, of love, of acceptance.

May I see the goodness in everyone I meet. May I see their friendliness. May I receive with friendliness all that arises in my heart and my mind, internally, externally, in my life. May I meet this moment with kindness.

As we turn to end this meditation and sit together, feeling into your intention again and recognizing the goodness of this intention. Why am I here?

Letting the goodness of this wholesome desire shine in your heart and outward together. Letting our light shine and offering our light, our goodness, not just to ourselves but to all beings everywhere. May all beings everywhere know their own goodness, feel their own love and care, their own goodness. May I feel my own goodness, my care for myself. May all beings everywhere be safe, happy, healthy, and at ease. May all beings be free, including myself.

Thanks for your practice, everyone.

Setting Intentions in Small Groups

I'd like to invite us to consider our intentions. Why are we here? Why are we practicing? Why are we showing up tonight?

Feel into that why, and what can be the beautiful expression of it. As I shared with the Prayer for Awakening, what is your prayer for awakening? May I meet the moment with kindness? May I be awake? May I be kinder to myself and others? I know there are a lot of challenges, and maybe I lose my temper in these ways; may I have more ease in the midst of that. Whatever it might be, there's no right or wrong. It's just beautiful to see our intentions.

It's powerful to know and see our intention, our prayer for awakening. It actually gives it more prominence when it's seen. And it's even more prominent not only when it's seen by us, but when it's seen by others, when it's held witness by friendly eyes, recognized, and shared.

We're going to do that for ourselves now in small groups. The invitation is to share something about your intention. Let it be honored. Let yourself honor your intention, let yourself be held witness, be accountable. You can speak to it as much as you like or as little as you like, honoring each other. And also, if you want to show up with silence, that's fine.

In small groups, the first person will share something about their intention, just a short 30 seconds or at most a minute. Then the next person, and the next person. We'll go around and make sure everybody has time to share. Only speak from your experience. Do not guide, direct, or ask questions of others. Just show up as you are. If you want to say "pass" or hold silent space, that's perfectly fine. But it's such a beautiful opportunity for receiving support, giving support, recognizing, and acknowledging. Take advantage of this.

I'm going to create the breakout rooms. Take care of yourselves with kindness, take care of each other with kindness.

Reflections

Welcome back. If you'd like to share any reflections, you can raise your Zoom hand or type them in chat. Either about the guided meditation or the small groups. What did you notice? What arose? Especially if you haven't spoken in this group ever, or for a while, you're welcome to share your reflections and step forward. I'll take one or two reflections.

Ellie: Thanks Nikki for doing this and creating this space for us. It's interesting because, with the inner critic and all that I love to participate in, I organically do mindfulness, and then loving-kindness arises out of that. I don't repeat the phrases that much. But then, out of the blue, for some reason, I started kissing my own hand like this. I have no idea where it came from, but I like it. When I remembered to be kind to myself, I don't know where that gesture came from. Maybe I cook for myself so much, that's why I started kissing my own hand. It's a nice gesture, I've never had it before. The other insight came that I just immediately went to find out where that came from, but that isn't really important at this point. I'm just enjoying it when I remember to do it.

Nikki: That is so sweet. Thank you for sharing that, Ellie. That just gladdens my heart so much. These physical gestures, sometimes giving ourselves a hug, or just appreciating, putting our hand on our hearts. I just tried it, it's so lovely! Just thanking your hand, like, "Oh my God, I just feel this appreciation for this hand that types and cleans and cooks." Try it everyone, it's pretty wild! It's very sweet. Thank you, Ellie. Thanks for sharing that beautiful gesture of appreciating this person who serves you and takes care of you.

Jesse says in chat, "Thanks Nikki for an amazing practice. I am so excited for Saint Metta Day." I love that, thank you for that, Jesse.

Are there other quick reflections or questions? What was it like for you to have your intention witnessed or shared by others? Was it empowering, supportive, scary? I know you have thoughts, Red.

Red: Thank you, Nikki. Yeah, I find it powerful and important, actually, to say I want to live with a more open heart. To have an aspiration that's really unrelated to any I might have had as a younger person, that has nothing to do with acquiring or building a career. There's a kind of seriousness about the intention that is increased by stating it in public. "Yes, this is actually what I want to do with my life now." There's sort of a boldness about that, and I like that.

Nikki: Beautiful, thank you Red. There is a boldness about that. Yes, may we all be bold. I see a couple more hands, let's honor those and then close. Jeannie, you can unmute.

Jeannie: I don't know how to do this hand raising on this little iPad! My experience was that my partner very graciously listened to me. It was really nice to share my new understanding or a thought I had, and then I wanted to listen to him. But we ran out of time. I'm not used to the time thing, I haven't regulated it well so that we internally know how much time we have and when to switch.

Nikki: I hear you. I appreciate that they listened to you with care, and there's a regret: "I still wanted to listen, and I wish I had regulated my time." I think what helps, Jeannie, for you and everyone else, is what we're doing here in the group. Before, we used to do monologues, where one person would talk for a while. But now we've changed that, so it's more of a spiral. Each person shares just 30 seconds or at most a minute—just a tiny little nugget—and then the next person shares, so that everybody has time. But I do appreciate your wish to have honored them, so I'm glad that you said that so I could bring that out. You get the last word, Claire.

Claire: Just to follow up on your discussion of the way that groups work, we were a three-person group and in fact, we did sort of stick to the 30-second principle. But what was really nice was that each person seemed to build on the person preceding them. It really was an upward spiral. It was really very lovely. We all felt that we were giving each other something.

Nikki: Great, you couldn't have said it better. The beauty of the spiral is the uplift that happens. Especially when you talk about your intentions, it's a virtuous cycle. It just keeps going around and we give each other gifts. Thank you, Claire, for sharing how beautifully that worked.

So thank you all for your practice. Jerry says in the chat, "Happy Metta all year round." Exactly, all year round everyone. Thank you all for your practice, thank you for your cultivation. May you be well, may you be happy, may all beings be well and free, including ourselves. Take good care, be well.