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Fear (1 of 4) Understanding Fear

Welcome to the beginning of the week and a new theme for our meditations^[1]. This week, I'd like to talk about fear. One of the motivations for this is to follow up last week's topic on the three roots of the wholesome and the three roots of the unwholesome^[2]. When we talk about greed, hatred, and delusion being the root motivation—a root source from which all unwholesome, unhealthy behavior arises—some people will say, "Wait a minute, what about fear? Isn't fear just as important for human beings, and just as afflictive for human beings, as greed, hatred, and delusion? Why is it left out?"

Some of you know about the teachings of the five hindrances^[3]: desire, ill-will, sloth and torpor, restlessness and worry, and doubt. Some people will ask there also, "Why is fear not considered a hindrance?" Then people will try to squeeze it into one of the hindrances^[4]: "Well, it's probably a kind of ill-will, and that's why it's not talked about, because it's included within that."

This lack of emphasis on fear is sometimes a little bit surprising given how huge it is for human beings. For many people, at some point in their lives, it is fundamental. It is like a fundamental base that influences or conditions how we see the world, how we see ourselves, and the choices we make about how to live. I would like to look at this topic of fear for today and the next three days.

Respecting and Understanding Fear

One of the very important aspects of Dharma practice is, in fact, to understand fear and to be willing not only to understand it but also to respect it. I think that fear should always be respected. Respect doesn't mean that we give in to it or give it authority, but respect means we give it a second look, realizing that there is something there to learn. Whenever there is fear, it is a message. Whenever there is fear, it's an indication that something needs attention.

Certainly, if there is an imminent danger—something is happening in the present moment and we feel afraid because a car is driving down the wrong side of the street at us—then that is a clear message to get out of the way. Oftentimes, in the moment of real danger, fear is a message that we had better take heed and take care of.

But some fears belong more to the imagination, or to our prediction of the future, and to our constructed ideas of what could be, should be, or will be. It is not immediate, and sometimes our fears are unfounded. Regardless of what kind of fear it is, it should be respected. Because it's a message, it is more like a symptom of something that needs attention. If it is unfounded or not really necessary, what it is often a symptom of is something deeper inside of us that does need attention—that does need our care and our mindfulness.

Mindfulness and Shifting Our Orientation

We want to start this process of looking at fear by beginning to appreciate the value of understanding it. That is one of the great advantages of mindfulness practice, because mindfulness practice is the practice of giving a second look to everything. It is really stopping long enough not to be reactive, but to the best of our ability, putting aside our reactivity^[5] enough so we can really be present and see: What is this? What is this experience?

Of course, it is a little bit more complicated with fear, because fear itself is a kind of reactivity. When fear arises, we try not to be too reactive to the fear. We try to look at it, to be present for it, and to study it.

One of the ways to begin understanding fear that helps us is if we can shift our orientation. We shift from thinking of fear in terms of "I am afraid," to "I have fear." The difference is that "I am" is like identifying and defining ourselves by it. If all of who we are is afraid, that is a very different orientation and a very different door inward to understanding it than if we view it as, "I have fear," or "There is fear here."

Fear is not the whole picture of who we are; it's always a subset of our whole being. It can be strong and course through us so it feels like everything, but as soon as we allow it to be our whole being, it's too easy to get entangled in it, caught by it, or to judge ourselves for it. This idea of switching to "I have fear" or "There is fear here" is a strategy to not be over-identified with it or caught in it, so we can look at it clearly and see it as something a little bit objective.

The Wholesome and Unwholesome Roots of Fear

Now, one of the theories for why fear is not one of the three roots for unwholesome behavior, or one of the hindrances, is that there is a wide range of fear. There is fear which is motivated by the three unwholesome roots, and fear which is part of the wholesome roots. The word "fear" itself—like the word "anger" we talked about last week—maybe should be seen as an umbrella term, a broad category for a broad range of feelings that fit within things that bring up a sense of caution, of care, of wanting to become safe, and wanting to be protected.

There are healthy forms of that, and there are those which are not so healthy. There are helpful forms of fear, and not so helpful forms of fear. To make a categorical statement that fears are rooted in what is unwholesome and unhelpful just doesn't fit the range of what this emotion is. It's more useful to see that fear can be motivated by the unwholesome roots—it can be motivated, in fact, by greed, hatred, and delusion—or it could be motivated by non-greed, non-hate, and non-delusion. It can be motivated by a feeling of generosity, friendliness, care, or love. It could be motivated by self-respect. It could be motivated by a deep understanding and wisdom of what is really best for ourselves and best for others.

When we are up against some behavior, some way of thinking, or some way of speaking, there can be a healthy fear that comes along when we see the danger of acting that way. That way causes harm in the world, causes harm to ourselves, and causes harm to our relationships. We have a capacity for something like self-respect, and so there is some caution around harming that, some caution to protect ourselves for our own sense of confidence and trust in ourselves. If we feel some fear when we are about to do something that is going to cause us to lose that, that is considered healthy.

On the unhealthy side, if there is a lot of greed, then there can be fear about not getting what one wants, or we have greed for what we already have^[6] and we're afraid of losing it. There might be a lot of hostility, and in hostility, we're afraid of the thing that we're hostile toward; we don't want to get too close, so we want to push it away.

There can be a lot of delusion, confusion, or ignorance about all kinds of things. One of those things is the nature of self. The ideas we have constructed of who we are maybe are not such useful ideas—maybe not even true ideas. But holding onto ourselves as being a certain kind of person means that idea can easily be threatened.

Layers of Fear: A Fairy Tale

For example, if someone grows up feeling quite insecure, but then they find a group of people—it may be a gang—and in that gang they feel a sense of belonging, they feel safe. But it comes along with an identity of being someone who is really tough and strong, who bosses people around or worse. This idea of being strong and tough and bossing people around turns out to be a construct which is actually quite fragile and is easily threatened. And so then there is fear.

But if we study that fear—see that fear is a symptom—we see that deep down inside it began with a sense of insecurity. That insecurity maybe has a better avenue of being resolved and dealt with in other ways besides being part of a gang, belonging, and taking on a gang persona.

So we need to study our fears. Hang out long enough with them to respect them, long enough so we can really start feeling and sensing what is going on. Questioning it, reflecting on it, going for walks and asking, "Really, what's happening here when I'm afraid?" Then asking ourselves: Is there any greed, hate, and delusion underneath here or not? Is there any wisdom, non-hate, non-greed, love, self-respect, or generosity? What is underneath that really needs our attention?

This idea of going down deeper and deeper to look goes along with a fairy tale that I'd like to read. There was once a beautiful princess who was engaged to a hideous serpent monster. Terrified, she sought the counsel of a wise old witch. The witch told the princess that she should go ahead with the marriage, and that she should wear ten white gowns on her wedding night. When it came time to go to bed with the serpent, she should take off each one of the gowns one at a time, and ask the serpent to take off one of his skins for each of hers. After she took off her ten gowns, she was to embrace the serpent.

The princess didn't like it, but she took the advice of the wise elder woman. As she took off the last of her gowns, she saw that the slimy, repulsive serpent was still there. Although she was repulsed^[7], she nevertheless had the wisdom to follow through with what the old woman had said, and she embraced the serpent. When she did, the serpent was transformed into her wonderful spouse. We don't know the gender of the serpent in the end! [Laughter]

Towards Fearlessness

Taking off the gowns represents taking off these things we've built up—the layers of fear that we've built up over a lifetime. Layers of personas, layers of ways in which we understand, measure, expect of, and are afraid of the world. There might be layers and layers of taking things off. It's a fantastic process to learn how to come from a deep place of trust, or maybe better said in the Buddhist language, a place of fearlessness.

To know how to be safe while at the same time being fearless—to have the wisdom of how to live fearlessly—is part of the direction that the Dharma is going. Perhaps to become fearless—without fear—is ultimately a better place, a deeper, wiser place than to live with fear, to instead live with trust. Discovering this place of fearlessness is part of the gift of studying fear, understanding it, and becoming wise about it.

Conclusion and Practice for the Week

We will go through this a little bit more over the next few days. If you're one of those people who has some fear, anxiety, or worry, maybe this week could be a time for you to take a different look at it. If you find it hard to stop, sit, be present, and study your own fear, you might do one of two things, or both things.

You might journal about it—just write about it. The other is you might find a friend, or a total stranger, that is willing to talk to you a little bit. You just talk out what you understand about your fear, explore it, and find out. Let's get to the bottom of fear this week. Thank you so much.