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Happy Hour: Feeling Supported by Blessings & Challenges

Introduction

Hello everyone, and welcome to Happy Hour! I am Nikki Mirghafori in Mountain View, California, on unceded Ohlone land. As we always do, we start by saying hello, warming the space with mettā^[1], with goodwill, and just connecting with each other before we transition to meditating.

It is lovely to be with you. It makes me happy and lifts my spirit to just sit with you in this virtual space. I say this not just to share what I feel, but also to invite you to feel into whether it is true for you as well. Notice whether there is a difference from five or ten minutes ago when you were on your own or doing whatever you were doing in your space. Now, you are here. You are in Sangha^[2], and your practice has actually already started with the warmth, heartfulness, and joy of seeing each other on the screen. Knowing that we are among fellow practitioners—that awareness of this sense of goodwill, and your own goodwill—is part of our practice.

Turn your awareness to your own goodness, your own intention, and your own wholeheartedness. Even if the day might have been hard, or ten minutes ago things felt tough in your body or your life, you are still bringing goodness into your heart and mind space.

I would like to tie that into our practice and meditation today. Before we transition to practicing together, I want to mention that awareness—the simple, magical, incredible power of knowing—is the precursor to kindness. It is a particular kind of knowing and a particular kind of paying attention. Mindfulness, or awareness, is known as sati^[3] in Pali^[4]. It is a particular way of paying attention that is the precursor to mettā, to kindness, and to cultivating goodness.

Turning our awareness to awareness is something I would like to invite us to become more aware of: just a simple way of being and paying attention. I've said plenty, so let's practice together.

Guided Meditation

Arriving in your seat. Whatever this body needs in this moment. Maybe rolling your shoulders back a little bit. Sitting, lying down, or even standing. If you are sleepy and you need to stand up with your eyes open, that's fine. Or if the body is hurting and you need to be lying down or sitting up. For these instructions and invitations, I'm going to assume you're sitting.

Feeling your body. Feeling the uprightness of this body. Landing. Landing. Releasing.

Feeling your feet on the earth.

Your sit bones on the chair or the cushion.

Feeling your hands rest on your lap.

And letting go. Letting go of entanglements, thoughts, whatever has come before in this moment. Making space to be aware, to know the breath. To receive the breath with kindness. With kindness towards yourself.

Letting each breath—each in-breath, each out-breath, each precious in-breath and out-breath—be received, not taken for granted. To be received with kindness as a gift of kindness.

And can there be a kind knowing? Knowing whatever is arising with kindness.

Whatever is arising, whether it's pain in the body, or challenges in the mind and the heart.

Not believing, not pushing away, not condoning, but just knowing with kindness.

As if the breath is imbued with kindness.

Breathing through parts of the body that are challenged. Breathing through the heart if there is pain, suffering, sadness.

The knowing is both kind, compassionate, and powerful.

Knowing with kindness is powerfully uplifting, nurturing.

Let your breath be present right here with the knowing.

Softening, relaxing, breathing around, breathing into, with the knowing.

The practice of kindness is not separate from the way you know. And from this breath that's so intimate. Kindness is so intimately intertwined with both.

Knowing can be vast, spacious, allowing.

So vast. Relaxed, receiving, receiving.

Knowing with kindness.

Knowing the breath. Letting the breath infuse whatever is present.

I'd like to invite you to try on a perspective. Try it on for size. And if it doesn't work, you can let it go and just be with the breath and kind knowing. Engulfing everything with kindness. So here is the invitation, if you'd like to try this perspective on:

The perspective is: the universe is conspiring to support me.

The universe is conspiring to support me, help me.

Including all the gifts, all the opportunities, all the chance meetings, etc. As well as all the challenges, all the difficulties.

All the difficulties that challenge and stretch me—this being who is me—to fully inhabit the being I can become. To grow in ways that I cannot even imagine, to be of service to myself and others.

Drop this in if you like, and just sit with the breath with kindness. You don't have to think or ruminate about this perspective, not at all. Just let it be dropped in and be with the breath. Be with the knowing of whatever arises. Maybe it's just silent inside. Great. Maybe thoughts, sensations, etc. arise within this way of knowing with kindness. With this perspective, try it on for size if you like.

Just being here with the breath, knowing with kindness whatever arises.

Just knowing, simply let go of thinking and ruminating about the perspective. It's already been introduced. Just be.

Simply knowing whatever arises with kindness. Awareness imbued with kindness. Spacious, receiving. Not thinking, ruminating. Just knowing, letting go. Very simple, keep it simple.

And as we turn to end this practice period together, let there be kindness in knowing with kindness your own wholeheartedness, your own goodness for having showed up to support yourself and others.

If there's any judgment about, "Oh, I didn't do it right," or you were sleepy or distracted, let it go. Know even that with kindness. Thank your judgments: "You're trying to be helpful, I don't have to believe you all. Thank you, I know you're trying to be helpful, and it's okay. I can be kind to myself."

Appreciate that you've showed up. See the goodness in the engagement and the effort.

And together, all these moments of mindfulness and kindness that we've planted the seeds for, turning and offering goodness. The goodness to ourselves, to others, to all beings everywhere. Trusting there is goodness in this cultivation.

May all beings everywhere be well. May all beings everywhere be free. Including ourselves.

Thank you so much for your practice, everyone.

Reflections

In this practice at first, I invited us all to settle with the breath. Receiving kindness, knowing kindness, and knowing awareness imbued with kindness. The practice of mettā is not something separate, but imbued. We also played with the breath being intertwined with kindness, breathing through the challenges in the body, the heart, and the mind, and making space.

I invited you to imagine and have the perception of knowing as spacious. Just knowing. It's not so much incisive, pointing to this and that, but kind knowing is very spacious. To know is kind and gentle.

Then I invited you to take on this perspective, as if you were taking a drop of ink and dropping it in: What if the universe is conspiring to support me? In all the gifts and all the challenges included, so I can become fully myself, to expand my heart in kindness, compassion, and humility. In all the ways I need to grow to become fully the being I need to become to be of service to myself and to others. Just to put that perspective on, but not ruminate on it. Not to start thinking, but just drop that in and then go back to this kind knowing and see what shift that might make. Maybe something, maybe nothing. That was the invitation.

[Following a breakout group session]

We have a few minutes for reflection. How was that? What did you discover? Was there anything surprising, any aha moments, or challenges?

Stephanie: It's been a while since I've been here and spoken, so I'm glad to be back. It was a great practice. I have been struggling with some very unkind thoughts lately because I've been dealing with insurance companies, and that's just a nightmare. But the meditation really helped me out tonight, and the group was great as always. I'm glad to be here and I'm going to try to make it part of my schedule again.

Nikki: Great, lovely you're back, Stephanie. Wonderful that you're back and that it was supportive for you. Dealing with insurance and loss is challenging. Have compassion for yourself and compassion for all the people who are working within the system. That's hard too.

Other reflections? How was this practice for you, taking on this new perspective? Did it shift something?

Susan: I've dialed in a few times, and I have to say it's very inspiring and comforting when we share our thoughts about what this session has been about. Hearing that other people have had the same experiences, difficulties, and thoughts is so affirming and it just makes me feel a lot better. I thank everyone for that.

Nikki: Beautiful, thanks Susan. It's the power of community, really. The power of community is so special, and that's one of the things I love about Happy Hour. Being able to be in these small groups is powerful, as both you and Stephanie have attested to. Beautiful. Maybe I'll make space for one last reflection, especially if it's related to the theme.

Neil: I'll just throw out that the interesting thing about this statement is that it doesn't matter if it's right, and if the universe really is helping or not. What matters is your life is better if you can act as if this is right. That's what matters, you know? So it's sort of ironic, but marvelous too.

Nikki: Honestly, I couldn't have said it better. I think those are the Buddha's words! [Laughter] That's exactly it. We don't have to believe that it's true, but acting as if it is transforms our perspective. Instead of "Oh poor me, I have to go through this challenge, this difficulty, this pain, this sorrow, this loss," it's like, "Okay, this is the way the universe is conspiring to support me. To stretch me, to tenderize my heart, to make me a kinder, more wise person above and beyond what I could possibly imagine." Thank you, Neil. Beautiful.

Participant: Everyone in our group was touched by the thought that the universe wants us to succeed because when we succeed, the universe succeeds. And when we don't realize our full potential, a little bit of the universe gets deflated.

Nikki: Beautiful, yes. I love that insight as well. There's a sense of "Oh yes, I am a part of this universe." Me fulfilling my full potential, which may not look like what I think it is—challenges are a part of it—conspires to support me so that I become more fully myself. Beautiful. Thank you.

Maria: I was wondering if you think that the environment has any impact on the meditation? Are there any specific environments you would recommend before they start a meditation?

Nikki: When we start to practice, it doesn't matter where you're sitting, standing, or walking. Some people think that it needs to be more silent. Especially with the practice of cultivating kindness, it's often nice to practice on the subway, on a bus, or when you're driving, not with your eyes closed but wishing everyone well. There are different ways of practicing that can be done anywhere, so you don't necessarily need a very quiet space. That can be supportive for a particular way of cultivating calm abiding and peace, but you can actually practice in any kind of environment.

Thank you all for your cultivation. May we act as if the universe is supporting us through the gifts and the challenges for us to become fully awakened, and the universe to be more awakened, and all of humanity along with us fulfilling our potential. Thank you all for your practice. May we all be well, may we all awaken, and share our goodness. Be well, take care everyone.