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Guided Meditation: "Yes"

Warm greetings from Insight Meditation Center. Delighted to be here with all of you this way, and particularly for the topic this week and for today.

The overall topic is appreciative joy^[1]. One of the strong associations I have with having some deep appreciation, and joy with appreciation, is the word "yes." I have found over the years that this word "yes" has been a great support for me in my meditation practice, my mindfulness practice, and in my life. It isn't so much that I am affirming something; if anything, what I'm affirming is the mindfulness, the awareness of whatever is happening. There's a kind of delightful feeling of "yes." I'll be aware for this. Yes. This is wonderful to be aware, to be present. Yes to being here with this experience.

The experience itself might not be something I am necessarily affirming with the "yes." I might have a different opinion of whether it should be there or not, or a judgment about it in some way. But even so, the central feature in any experience is our being aware of it. It's its own thing. It's its own miracle. And so to say "yes" and to recognize that miracle.

There's not a few times where I see something that maybe we can call unwholesome or unwise happening in my mind—something I'm caught in—and then I'm clearly aware that that's there. And [Laughter] I smile. I'm not smiling at the presence of this; I'm smiling in the freedom that awareness gives me. Yes, this too I can be aware of. This too I can let be there and be free of it. Give it breathing room, leave it alone. That awareness is such a beautiful, wonderful "yes" to awareness.

So one of the ways of practicing meditation that I have occasionally done, and I'll offer you today, is to have a recurring word that you repeat in the meditation in the quietest, calmest, most peaceful way that you can, but also with a certain enthusiasm: the word "yes."

Yes to the inhale. Yes to the exhale. Yes, I recognize what's happening here. Yes, I know there's suffering here. Yes, I'm aware of it. Yes.

It doesn't have to be more elaborate than that. You don't have to add any more words like, "yes to my suffering," or "yes to the inhale." What it is, is an attitude: the "yes" that is meant to open us. "Yes," and then the movement is like this: it's almost as if the arms are being spread out horizontally, widely, and we step forward with an open chest. Yes, I'm here for this. I'm receiving this. I'm connecting to this. Yes.

So, "yes" to the breath, and there's a kind of sense of openness. "Yes" to this experience. This "yes" keeps us in the present moment. The "yes" is always to the present. If you're thinking about what happened ten years ago, it isn't that you say "yes" to what happened. You say "yes" to the awareness of remembering. "Yes" to remembering. That makes space for it, and in a way, we step back from it. We step away from it. We're not in it. We're certainly not collapsing into anything, or just savoring anything, or overwhelmed by something, because we have this wonderful capacity: a "yes" that makes us almost bigger than whatever it is.

So, assuming a meditation posture, maybe rocking your body back and forth a little bit to find a nice, centered posture. Sitting bones centered on the surface they're resting against. Gently close your eyes. And with the attitude of "yes," allow your body to take a few deeper breaths.

One way to take a deeper breath is to take a comfortably deep breath, pause for an instant, and then do it a little bit more. Then relax on the exhale. Maybe a little bit longer relaxation, a longer exhale. And there too, it might be interesting at the end of the exhale to pause for an instant and either exhale a little more by letting go, or in letting go, somehow let the shoulders and chest relax further.

Then letting the breathing return to normal. With the exhale, continue to relax in the exhale. If it's comfortable to extend the exhale a little bit so there's a little bit more letting go and relaxing, you might try that. Relaxing in the body, the mind, the heart. And then letting yourself be at ease the best you can.

Appreciating this simplicity, the simplest ways in which you have present moment awareness. Maybe the inhale comes and appears. It's known, it's felt as a present moment experience. The exhale. And to gently, peacefully, calmly, as a gentle breeze in the mind, say the word "yes" to what is happening, to what you're aware of.

Not to go along with it, but to almost open wide. Stepping towards it, being with it. Yes to being aware. Yes to being bigger in awareness than anything one is aware of. Yes to receiving it in the largeness of awareness.

Whenever you find yourself drifting off in thought, at that point consider that saying "yes" to what's happening is a better alternative than drifting in thoughts. A "yes" that connects you, grounds you to this moment, moment after moment. A "yes" that is opening, relaxing. Receptive, willing to be here with this.

And the word, "yes." The attitude, "yes." It helps you to fill in the present moment. Step into it more fully. Here, now. In a way that the mind quiets. The stilling of thoughts. So there's more room to be aware.

And as we come to the end of this sitting, let your attention bring in thoughts and remembrances of the world around you. The people of your life. Maybe the people you'll see today. And while you're still in meditation here, bring a "yes" to those people.

Yes to being aware. Yes to letting them be present in your heart. Yes that deeply cares for them, loves them, appreciates them. Sees them as someone for whom your heart can sing, can smile. Yes.

Smiling not necessarily for what they do or how they are. But "yes" to being aware of them. "Yes" to giving them some space in your heart. At least in the privacy of meditation. "Yes" to being present for the people you'll encounter today.

And "yes" to the possibility that they can be happy. "Yes" to the possibility they can be peaceful and safe. If nothing else, they can be peaceful and safe in the field of your awareness. In your presence, we offer them safety. We offer them peace. We offer them care, respect. Yes.

May we go into the world with a wish for the welfare of others. A "yes" to their welfare. A "yes" that is more than just an affirmation. It's an offering of peace.

May all beings be happy. May all beings be safe. May all beings be peaceful. May all beings be free. Thank you.

Dharmette: Love (58) Mudita and Opening with "Yes"

So, this week the topic is appreciative joy^[1:1]. Now we are laying down the foundation for it, and we'll practice more directly with it soon. But appreciative joy is an ability that's a kind of double happiness, or triple happiness. It's the happiness and success that others have, and it's our happiness in relationship to that—being delighted by that, being heartened by it. And then wishing them more, wishing it to remain, and saying, "Yes, may it continue." Or, "May they feel the happiness, may they feel the contentment, may they remember their goodness and what they've done that's so good."

So there's this way of building or compounding things that are good in the world, to recognize it in others. There are many things to recognize in others: their happiness, their success, when things are going well for them. It's nice to acknowledge it in a simple way, not lingering on it, but just showing our appreciation, our delight, or offering our congratulations.

But also, it's possible to appreciate people's innate goodness, their sincerity. People have good qualities. Most people have mixed qualities, good and bad in a sense, but we can say "yes" to the good qualities. We can take time to see them and recognize them. Not to linger with what we don't like, not to linger with what we're complaining about. Certainly, we can have things we don't like, but to linger there, to stay stuck on that, maybe is not so useful for you. But to recognize, "Oh, that person is behaving in unfortunate ways, and I can see more. There's more to that person than that behavior. And I can appreciate that. Maybe I can speak to that. Maybe I can draw that out more."

One of the reasons why appreciative joy is sometimes considered the hardest of the four divine abodes, the four Brahma-vihāras^[2], is because of envy. People have envy or jealousy. They want to have what the other person has. They wish they could have it. They even slightly resent what the other person has, the goodness the other person has. Or they get caught up in this desire: "That's what I want. I should be having that. How do I get that?" We get caught up in this complex of ways in which we get attached, that prevent us from really stepping in and saying "yes" in a selfless way.

That's another form of the happiness of appreciative joy—that we can just put ourselves aside. We can delightfully have it not be about us, not about "me," but just clearly, "Yes, this is wonderful what is happening for this person." We can congratulate others and appreciate their goodness, thanking them perhaps, free of any kind of attachment to self, or trying to prove ourselves, or holding on to self. You don't want to say thank you but actually mean, "Thank you, but I want more," or "Thank you, and I deserve to have a better time here." Just let go and say "yes." Thank you.

So, we become aware of envy, the ways we close down, the ways we limit ourselves and limit our capacity for happiness. We open up wider. We become freer in that process. Part of the joy of appreciative joy is how it actually frees us in a joyful, delightful way. It's a kind of wonderful "yes."

Yes to what's happening here with this person. Yes, this person just graduated from high school and is happy. Yes, I'll be happy with them.

Yes, this person just got a raise and they're very happy. Yes, let's be happy. Let's say cheers to them.

Yes, this person finished their crossword puzzle. Yes, they finished it. Rather than saying, "Well, how could they waste their time doing a crossword puzzle?" or "I wish I could do it," or "I have a hard time with crossword puzzles," just say, "Yes, this is great. You're happy, so I'll be happy."

It's empathic happiness. It's simpatico with other people: sharing what they're doing, participating in their goodness and well-being.

And when that's not possible because of the envy, the jealousy, maybe even the resentment or the anger that gets in the way, or the selfishness, or the conceit, or feeling "it's about me and I'm left out," there is the art of saying "yes" to that. Not going along with it, not participating in the unwholesome states that we're caught in, but opening up: Yes, in a way this is my way of being a human being right now. I'm not going to be critical. I don't have to add arrows to my heart. Yes, I have envy.

And in that "yes," maybe you become bigger than the envy, bigger than the jealousy, bigger than the resentment. Through awareness, through stepping forward, through saying "yes" and expanding yourself, you become big. What happens when we get attached, when we cling, when we resist, when we protect ourselves, is we actually get smaller. And the smaller we are, the less capacity we have to manage things and have space to hold things. The "yes" is meant to give us greater capacity, not only to be with happiness, but also to be with the opposites. So, yes.

I encourage you to try it out. Just sprinkle it through the day. Say "yes" to just being open, being present. Especially look for good things in people. Look at their beauty, look at their good qualities, look at their happiness and joy. Step towards it. They might not know that you're stepping towards them, but in your heart you say, "Yes, this is good. I'm happy. Look at that."

The checkout clerk complimented someone on something they bought, and the customer smiled. Wow, yes. How often do we see people smile in the store? Wow, that was a big smile. What a great thing. Yes.

So, practice the art of just looking for what to appreciate, what to delight in. It can be overdone, but for today, don't worry about that. See if you can go through the day with a greater sense of "yes," looking for what you can appreciate and delight in: the goodness, the success, the happiness of others.

Thank you. Doing this exercise during the day will prepare you more for dipping into the samadhi^[3] of appreciative joy. Thank you.