This is an AI-generated transcript from auto-generated subtitles for the video above. It likely contains inaccuracies, especially with speaker attribution if there are multiple speakers.

Dharma Practice as a Gradual Path to Becoming Whole In Ourselves

I think the simple point that I'd like to make in today's talk is that in Buddhism, the path of mindfulness is part of a larger path of inner growth. We could call it spiritual growth, or Dharma growth.

The word growth is very apropos for this process because it's a gradual growth. It's a gradual, unfolding development that happens over time, and it can happen one's whole life. It is just a slow, steady growing of all kinds of different inner qualities, characteristics, states of mind, and states of heart. Some of these things that grow can grow to fill us. They can really come and shape our disposition, how we are in the world, who we are, and how we feel that we are. In the tradition, they say we can come to a kind of wholeness with them, a fullness, a completion of these wonderful states. And it's a slow and steady process.

When I was introduced to Buddhism, for many years, I did not get that message. The one message I received was, "Don't look for any growth. Don't look to get any benefit from this. Just sit completely in the present moment. Meditate. Just be really right here. Sit in the emptiness of all things, or sit with an awakened mind." And that was just happily ever after.

There was this radical, almost non-dual idea to just be here with this. The other thing that I saw in Buddhism was that there was a tremendous emphasis on enlightenment. Sometimes enlightenment was to be found right here and now, and sometimes it was something you hope to make it to someday. So a lot of the emphasis was on enlightenment, and enlightenment itself was a radical letting go, a radical falling away. In Zen, they called it a dropping of body and mind. In Theravada^[1], they sometimes call it a radical cessation. But it's a radical letting go.

If you look for descriptions and definitions of what this experience of awakening is, they're very non-descriptive. There's very little to hold on to there, almost maybe purposefully, so that you're not trying to get, acquire, or select an experience. There was a little quip that people would say, that enlightenment is not what you think it is. So it doesn't matter what you're thinking, because it's not going to be that. In fact, if you go back and look at the teachings of the Buddha, the experience of awakening that he describes—if it is described—is mostly a description of absence and what's not there. There's an absence of attachment, an absence of clinging. It's almost like he is very reluctant to say what it is.

One of the things that was also emphasized over the years that I practiced was a great emphasis on not-self, no-self. It's kind of confusing, the whole idea of no-self, but that was emphasized. No-self means that you're not supposed to find anything that's yourself, and so then you just be empty. Just realize the emptiness of all things, and that's it.

So there was a lot of emphasis on enlightenment, a lot of emphasis on letting go, and a lot of emphasis on the idea of no-self. But historically, the way that was presented was partly a modern selection, especially a modern Western choice about what to emphasize as really important.

With the emphasis on letting go, emptiness, and enlightenment itself, there wasn't a recognition that the Buddha himself talked a lot, not about what the experience of awakening is like, but about how a person is transformed in the process of spiritual growth and development. A person who is awakened is a transformed person, and that transformation can be described and talked about in positive ways.

The teachings of not-self are kind of a deflection from that for some people. It's like you're not supposed to find anything about who you are; you're supposed to find out that you're not. And so any kind of transformation is not supposed to be emphasized or talked about much. Anyway, we're supposed to just let go. They don't want to talk about what you gain in the process because you're supposed to let go.

The more I read and study the Buddha's teachings, and the more that I've done this practice for over fifty years now, the more I really appreciate the slow and gradual growth of inner qualities and inner capacities for all kinds of things. In the tradition, that's emphasized by a lot of wonderful vocabulary words that I just glossed over for years. My teachers never highlighted these words and it didn't seem like they were important. One of the ones I first started seeing was the word that in English is sometimes translated as "endowed."

A person is endowed with certain characteristics and qualities. One of the things a person becomes endowed with as they mature in this practice is the Eightfold Path^[2]. Now, that was a little bit jarring for me to hear, because I was introduced to the Eightfold Path as being beginner practices in Buddhism. That's just what you have to start with. You start with the Eightfold Path, you need to learn them and dutifully do them, and then get on to the real things: emptiness and enlightenment.

But when the Buddha describes someone who has matured into an awakened state, matured in the way this practice matures, that person is described as being endowed with the Eightfold Path. The person becomes the Eightfold Path. The person doesn't even practice it anymore. The Eightfold Path is so integrated into their very being that this is how they live their life. This is how they appear. This is who they are, in a sense. They have right view, right intention, right speech, right action, right livelihood, right effort, right mindfulness, and right concentration. These are beautiful states, rather than seeing them as being practices—which means a lot of huffing and puffing, at least at first. But if you see them instead not as practices to do, but states that we acquire, then as you mature in this practice, these are states that fill us.

The language of this ancient tradition uses a lot of words about being filled. Filled with the Seven Factors of Awakening^[3], which are these wonderful qualities of awareness, clarity, vitality, joy, tranquility, unification (samādhi^[4]), and equanimity. These states are supposed to be brought into fulfillment and completion within us. They fill us. Again, they're not practices we do, but states that we bring to fulfillment. Some translators actually use the word "perfection" for some of these, which is a little bit confusing or makes them feel out of reach. But to become full, filled, endowed with, to become these things—rather than simply having them in the corner of your mind, like you have a little bit of vitality or joy—you become these things.

This goes along with how the tradition talks about what we in English call "practice." They use the Pali word bhāveti^[5], which means to grow. It's a verb meaning to grow, to cultivate, and it's used for a farmer or gardener growing plants, for example. So we become the gardener of our own inner life, and we're growing something there. We plant seeds, the seeds sprout, we water them, we nourish them, and they grow into bigger and bigger things. Eventually, what they grow into is referred to as a fruit. On the highest level of where this practice goes, there's a fruition; we attain the fruit. And what's the fruit? You're the fruit. There's a gradual maturation until you're ripe. Gradual maturation until, if you're an apple, you're really sweet, nice, and ready. The fruit has become full. The fruit has become ripe.

They talk about attaining the fruit. Sometimes there's language in this Theravada tradition that the path or the whole experience of maturation is described as attaining the path and attaining the fruit. The path is what we walk, and the path is the practices we do and what we engage in. But at some point, it's not the path that we walk, but the path that we attain. Meaning all the practices we're doing—mindfulness, ethics, loving-kindness, compassion, the practices of samādhi, learning, becoming wise—we engage in these as we walk the path until we attain the path. Meaning all of those are integrated into us. They become us. When that happens in a full way, then we experience the fruit of that, and the fruit has ripened in us.

But it might have started with a little seed. In fact, you might not even know that you have this little teeny seed somewhere. It's almost invisible. Some of the biggest trees in California have the smallest seeds, the redwood trees.

For some people, this whole idea of a path, where it can go, and becoming full with it all is off-putting or intimidating. They can't see how they can get from point A to B. It just seems so far. That's where learning more about the practice, understanding the context for it, and the means for getting from A to B comes in. It's fascinating that it's said that the fastest way to go from A to B on this path of maturation is to be fully at A. So, on your mark, get set, go. Success. You did it. And not only that, Buddhism is a competitive sport. But what's wonderful about that competition is we all reach the present moment at the same time. Isn't that nice? All sports should be that way. We all win together. [Laughter]

There's more to Buddhist practice than just the idea of being fully here, but that's part of the function of mindfulness: not to be focused on what we can gain, but rather to find a way to be fully and completely aware, present, and mindful of this moment here. This way, the experience of being alive right now is not compromised by anxiety. Not compromised by ambition and greed. Not compromised by conceit. Not compromised by dwelling in the past and never leaving the past behind, always kind of stuck there. Not compromised by only thinking about the future. You know, like you keep looking at your watch, thinking about enlightenment. "Am I there yet? Am I there yet?"

If you do that, you're going to stay a little kid in the backseat, and you'll never grow up. You have to really start getting into the driver's seat, which in Buddhism means to be fully here, and not compromise this experience of being present. What not compromising it does is it creates space, room for things to grow and develop within us. We have these amazing qualities that can develop. Some of them don't really require a lot of self-conscious effort to grow; they will grow if you learn this uncompromising way to be here at A, right where you are. They'll grow faster if you appreciate them.

If you appreciate that, "Oh, now I'm here and I feel calmer, more tranquil," this is good. That tranquility and calm can grow if it's appreciated. Right here, I have clarity. Clarity not about what to do with my life, but it just feels clear. The present moment. I feel like I'm living in the present moment, feeling awake in it and alive in it, with a certain vitality that feels really good. As we practice this present-moment awareness, there might grow a unification, a gathering together of all the fragmented and scattered parts that we are.

One of the ways that this goal of practice is described in the tradition is with the Pali word sakala^[6], which means all our parts coming together rather than being scattered. A person who has become mature in this practice is described as someone who is a kevalī^[7]. That's someone who has become whole. Part of the goal is kevala, which is to become whole. The entirety of who we are gets gathered here and is working together. This idea of harmonizing all of who we are, unifying all of who we are, and not being divided or scattered is part of the purpose of really being here at A. Because many times, if we're too focused on our to-do list and rushing to get everything done, we're not going to be here very well. We actually become less and less us, and more focused out there in the future, trying to do, trying to complete, trying to get everything done, to be everything for everybody. The more you do that, the less you are for yourself.

One of the very unfortunate things about Buddhism—and you might decide to give it up now when you hear this—is that if you really want to be complete and whole, to allow this gathering together of all of who you are into a peaceful, harmonious place where these wonderful qualities can grow, you probably can't do everything life asks you to do, or everything that you want to do. Some of us are going to have to wisely decide to do less, so that we have the time and the ability to spend time at A, to spend time really here in a higher quality way.

A modern way of talking about it is spending quality time with yourself. That's what meditation is. And some of us need to spend more quality time with ourselves so that we just get to know ourselves. Some people are strangers to themselves.

One way we know that people are strangers to themselves is because when many people first start meditating, what they encounter is bad news. They encounter all the things that are unresolved, all the things that have not been tended to, cared for, loved, and allowed to heal. So we get to notice our fears, notice our hurts and wounds, notice our scattered minds, and notice that we're mostly preoccupied about who knows what. The mind is caught up in certain thoughts and ideas, and we start noticing some of the quieter, normally invisible beliefs that underpin how we live our lives, how we understand ourselves, and how we understand other people.

Some of the underlying beliefs that we have are beliefs that do not help us become whole, but actually keep us divided, keep us partial, and keep us under the thumb of ways we undermine ourselves.

So this idea is about being fully here so we can start doing the housecleaning of what's here. When the house is clean, then there's space to invite the guests. When we become clean, when we've done our housecleaning and really know how to be present here, the calm, the peace, the openness, and the space that gets created in our hearts and minds make room for things to grow.

Things can't grow if we're tense. If we're always tense, then we're closing the space up. And we're not only closing the space up, but we're also preventing the light that lets the plant grow from coming in. The light that these beautiful qualities grow in is awareness, attention. Fully being at A with awareness is the thing that allows things to grow.

The tradition doesn't say it explicitly, but how I understand it is that for some things that involve not being fully connected to ourselves—being selective, attached, or caught in certain parts of ourselves—in order for those to thrive in us, it's better if we're not aware of what's going on.

If there's a lot of greed, it's better not to know the cost that greed has on us. If we have a lot of hate, if we really understood the impact it has on us, we would not have hate. So it's better not to know that, and just keep focusing on the object of hate, keep focusing on the object of greed. If we get caught up in sensual desires, aversions, doubts, or self-deprecating belief systems inside, and we want to be successful at these negative mindsets, it's better not to pay attention. We give them free rein, because if we pay careful attention and the light of awareness goes on them, it's hard for them to keep growing.

I liken it to a greenhouse that has been covered with a blackout cloth. It gets hot in there, but there's no light coming in. The plants that you want to grow there—beautiful flowers or tomatoes or something—can't grow. But what grows is slimy mold, and it thrives in there. The mold is just so happy. But people don't even want to go in there because it's actually dangerous with all the mold and mildew growing. If you clear away the blackout curtains and let the sunlight come in, the slime, mold, and mildew dry out, and the plants can begin growing.

It's the same way with these beautiful plants we have inside of loving-kindness, compassion, joy, wisdom, equanimity, samādhi, a certain kind of happy vitality, and joy and happiness themselves. All these things involve the developing of mindfulness, the developing of strong intentionality, and the Eightfold Path. All these things are emphasized in the tradition, and we want to grow them. The tradition is quite clear about the degree to which it's possible to grow these within ourselves into a place where they're complete. They fill us. We become them.

In the process of becoming them, we become whole, not divided. So the goal of awakening does involve some radical letting go, but it also involves becoming whole in ourselves, becoming complete.

There's a beautiful way I think about that, because we think that this tradition doesn't want to talk very exactly about enlightenment. But I think there's a very precise way that the Buddha describes what an enlightened person is. Now you'll know exactly what it's all about.

Someone would come to the Buddha and say, "Who are you? What are you?" because clearly, he got people's attention with his awakened state, his kindness, or his clarity. They would ask, "What are you? Who are you?" To be very precise, so people would know exactly what he is—it couldn't be more precise—he would say, "I'm like this." Anything else is going to be only a part of the whole. Anything else selects something out of the totality. And why divide yourself? The idea of "I'm like this" is a way of being completely yourself without needing to prove yourself, defend yourself, or be anything for anybody.

In the same way, consider the apple tree with ripe fruit on its branches. What's an apple tree like? Well, look, it's like that one. Is that the perfect apple tree? Go through the orchard. Which one's perfect? They're all perfect. They're all themselves. They're all just whole. I don't think the apple tree thinks about the leaves as separate from the rest of the tree, or the branches as separate from the trunk, or the roots as being separate. It's just one whole, complete organism that's not dividing itself with thoughts and ideas like, "I hope people notice how well I'm stretching out my branches. Boy, am I proud of my branches going just that way. I'm much better than the branches of the next tree." The tree is just being itself. So when the Buddha said, "I'm like this," it's something very profound. It's also a way of saying, "I'm just here at A." But now A has become B, without going anywhere.

Take into account this idea of gradual growth and maturation, and appreciate that this path is not meant to be a path to some quick, sudden enlightenment. I know in the modern world there are a lot of things we're supposed to do, a lot of recreational opportunities, and a lot of Netflix. There are a lot of things that we can do. You might think the best thing to do is to get enlightened efficiently and quickly so you can get on to the other things, but it's the opposite. The best thing going in life is to have the heart be free, the heart at peace in itself, feeling complete, at home, content, and ready to meet this world with care, love, and compassion. I don't think there's anything better.

I think it's well worthwhile to be fully at A on this path, so we can mature these good hearts that we have. Buddhism has a very positive message, and if you emphasize only letting go and only the idea of no-self, then you miss so much of the positive, inspiring message of what the Buddha had to teach. It's a very positive message about what's possible here in this lifetime. The full path can be attained here and now in this life.

For all of you who came here today to be fully at A, here at IMC^[8], I thank you for your interest and your practice. To sit together this way is exceptional, and I thank you for it all. May we continue together for a long time. Thank you.