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Happy Hour: Nourishing Our Hearts in Tumultuous Times

The theme I'd like to offer for happy hour tonight is the theme of taking care of ourselves, nourishing ourselves in the midst of turmoil, in the midst of challenge. Especially when challenging times are multifold and they continue and they go for a while, it's important to realize when we become weary. Nourishing ourselves, nourishing our heart becomes very important so that we can sustain ourselves and also be there for each other, to sustain other people.

So the offering tonight will be a guided meditation on turning towards what's good, what's pleasant, what's nourishing, and mettā^[1] (loving-kindness) as a sense of care for ourselves, as if soothing ourselves. It is a way of nourishing our hearts, our bodies, and our minds as a refuge, as solace, so that we can be more resourced and more available to show up for ourselves and for others. We are turning towards what's wholesome, what's good, what's nurturing.

Reflections and Q&A

Hello all. Thank you for joining this meditation, whether on Zoom or on YouTube right now. As I mentioned both at the beginning and throughout, especially in challenging times, it is wholesome, it is wise to nourish ourselves, to nurture ourselves with mettā, with our own care, receiving. Because if we get ragged and rundown, we can't support ourselves and others, we can't be of use to anyone.

So I'd like to invite us in this moment before we get into groups, if there is a one-word phrase if you want to share what's coming up for you, or you can also raise your hand and I can unmute you if you wish. And I'll start. What's coming up for me right now compared to when we started this practice is, yeah, I feel nourished. I think that's the word that comes up for me, as if I've been in a warm, nourishing bath within healing waters. I realized how much I too needed this to sit. So thanks for sitting with me everyone.

[Laughter]

Thank you, Ivana. "Gratitude" is what's coming up. Christine, "sweet and cozy." I love that it's coming up nicely.

Any other reflections you'd like to offer? Miel, "holding suffering." Yeah, great. When there is more nourishing of our own heart, there is more space to hold suffering.

Linda, "Grateful that you're offering this wonderful resource." Thank you Linda, thank you for practicing.

Elizabeth, "Serenity Prayer." Yeah, indeed.

Andrey, "I want to speak to the skillfulness of not always feeling like that you should—there is a 'should' in 'you have to go towards the difficult and hold challenge and suffering.' Sometimes that is not the right thing to do in your heart. If you're running ragged, if you are not resourced yourself, it's wise to take a step towards nourishing yourself so that you can be more open for holding suffering."

Susan offering, "More ease with unease." And she offers, "A struggle to nourish oneself, but good to try." Yeah, and it's not sometimes easy and there are different ways in. And even if you felt nourished for one millisecond, if there was more sense of ease just for a millisecond to go, "Ah, okay, this is enough, I could just breathe, put down thoughts, worries for a moment," that is enough, that's a great place to start. Ceylon, thank you for bringing that into it, that it's not easy, it is a struggle. I always appreciate when practitioners bring what's difficult, what's challenging.

Phil offering, "Realizing how anxious I've been. It's not gone, but better than it would have been, so glad to have a change in trajectory." Yeah, thank you for mentioning that, bringing that into the space. Even changing the directionality a little bit can be supportive. So yeah, thank you all for sharing your reflections.

So the invitation now is just to engage with each other in small groups for just six minutes, groups of three or two depending on how the counts go. And seeing as there is a sense of nourishing yourself, holding yourself with care, if engaging with others, holding them with this gentle care. It's not over the head, it's just a very gentle sense of engaging. And the prompt is, "How are you? How are you right now, just very simply?" And if you decide tonight it's not appropriate for you to engage in this way, it's perfectly fine, you can bow out, it's all good. So I'm gonna give a moment or two for folks to decide if they want to engage in this way or not, and I will now make the breakout rooms. Here we go.

[Breakout rooms in progress]

Hello everyone, welcome back. So how was your practice tonight, either in reflecting in groups, community practice, or the first part? And feel free to unmute yourself if you wish, and let's take some reflections, questions, comments, anything is welcome.

Let's start with how the groups were. Oh, actually Phil asks, "Are you doing this again tomorrow morning? We were speculating in our group, yes or no?" Yes, we are. We actually cancelled tomorrow morning's happy hour, the Saturday morning, because Gil is teaching tomorrow morning at 7 a.m. So we won't offer happy hour at 7 a.m. at the same time, and we invite everyone to join the YouTube Sangha^[3] and practice with that Sangha, and Gil offers a guided meditation. So happy hour is gonna take a break tomorrow morning on Saturday, but thanks for asking Phil.

How were your groups? Let's start there.

"Well, I'll go. I told our little group of three that this was almost the most important part of the evening for me. You know, I don't know these other two people, and yet there's just a connection that I really needed tonight. So this format just continues to amaze me, but that was it. It was very lovely."

Lovely, thank you so much Linda. It's beautiful to hear. Yeah, this format continues to amaze me also. And Elizabeth shares, "Always soothing to my soul." And thanks Christine, their partner in the dyad, how beautiful. Thank you. Sweet, what else please?

"I'm with my other two people, and with your presentation it was getting back into, I would say, the world, as opposed to the place where... I mean, if this is all about seeing clearly, this is the place to be to see clearly. I mean this so wide-open phrase, but I feel like I re-entered the real world. I mean, I don't want to sound [hippy] here, I mean it, but this is what counts, this is what makes it all."

Thank you Kathleen. Thank you for sharing that. And what I'm hearing in the words you're saying—and correct me if I'm wrong—is that sometimes when we are attending to the world, that way of paying attention actually can get us not really attending, because we get a little overwhelmed or in our heads, or we're just not really attending to the world in a skillful way anymore. Even though we feel like, "Oh, we're in the midst of the world and we're paying attention," reading news and social media and listening, and yet we've lost our stability. And then coming back and getting nourished, there is a sense of, "Ah, this is where an appropriate response can come from," and actually attending to the cries of the world more skillfully from the space of being nourished. Did I hear what you were saying right? You're muted, but let me ask you...

"Yeah, yes, yes. And yes, that was yes, thank you."

Thank you Kathleen, appreciate it. Yeah, any other reflections and thoughts you want to share? Anything that was challenging or didn't work and might be helpful to bring out, as you notice you felt differently from the beginning when you entered the Zoom room compared to the end.

"I just want to echo that I really appreciate this format. I don't know what magic you do to connect us with each other as mostly strangers, but I always just feel like I'm with people I care about, you know, more than I have really any reason to. Every time I go into these rooms, it's just a sweetness that I really appreciate. It's lovely."

Mmm, that makes my heart so happy, because it's amazing the sense of connection that we can have when the heart is open and when we practice. When the heart is settled, we get to see other people's humanity, and we really care for them, we hold them and they hold us. It's a field of holding. It brings this care out of us because we are being held with care, and it brings care out of them because they are being held by care. So experiencing this field of care that can be created with random individuals in the world in different geographical locations, and bringing them together is so beautiful and touching and gives me so much hope for what us humans are capable of. Yeah.

So thank you all for practicing tonight. I'll open the space one more time for any last-minute comments, anything that would be helpful for you to say to feel complete.

"Oh, he just caught me waving my hand. Thanks, but I decided it was just the same thing as everyone's been saying, but I wanted to say one more thing. You know, being in Utah with our huge sangha of five here, Audio Dharma used to be everything to me, and I would go into my room and sit. But now having this, this added dimension... I still can listen to you tomorrow if I wanted to, the happy hour again, but this dimension is missing, so again, it's just really beautiful."

Yeah, thank you Linda. It's so important to hear that for us as we're thinking about programming at IMC, what happens after we open up after sheltering in place and how can we serve people both locally and globally. So I really appreciate you bringing that in, Linda, how supportive this format is to you in Utah.

So thank you all for showing up, for supporting yourselves and each other in this practice. What a beautiful, heartwarming practice tonight. I feel nourished, my heart is nourished. And may all beings be free, may all beings be happy, including ourselves.

Take good care and see you soon. Bye.