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Wise Speech (4 of 5) Is it Beneficial?

So we come this morning to the fourth question that we can ask ourselves when we want to speak wisely and effectively. The fourth question is: Is it beneficial? Is it for the welfare of self and others?

A statement might be true. It might be timely; it's the right time. It might be done kindly, supportingly, and nourishingly. The way we say it might be gentle and appropriate. However, given the person we're talking to or the situation we're in, what we're going to say might have no benefit. Maybe people are not going to listen to it, they are closed off from hearing it, or they are too distracted. In such cases, it's not beneficial to say it. Because it has no impact, it has no onward-leading purpose. It has no purpose to say it if it's not going to be received.

Rather than exhausting ourselves by insisting we have to say it because it's true, because we're struggling, or because we're trying to solve a problem and make things better—of course, ideally we would have a chance to have a conversation, if that's the case. But if it's not going to go anywhere, there's no benefit from saying it. If there's no receptivity to what we're saying, why tire ourselves out? Why exhaust ourselves? Maybe we need to wait until it is beneficial. It comes back to the idea of being timely. It might be timely for you—it might be the only time—but still, if it's not beneficial to say it, it has no purpose to say it. Because it's not received, then maybe it's not the time to say it. Maybe it's not the thing to say.

If we ask ourselves the question, "Is it beneficial?" then we can say, "Well, actually, saying the truth right now is not beneficial. Even saying the truth kindly is not really beneficial right now. This is not what the person needs to hear. This is not leading onward." Now, the word benefit here is a very significant word. How do we know what's beneficial? How do we know what is welfare for people?

One of the meanings for this word in Pali is attha^[1]: it has a purpose, so to speak, for a purpose. In other words, don't speak pointlessly. Don't just speak because you want to speak. Don't speak the truth, don't speak the truth kindly and timely, if it doesn't really have a purpose.

When you ask the question, "Is it beneficial?" a very powerful version of that question is to ask yourself, "For what purpose am I saying what I'm going to say? What is the purpose?" There can be multiple layers of purpose in what we say. If someone asks you for directions on the street, you could say the purpose of responding was to give them the directions. But there might be a deeper layer where we really want to impress people with the fact that we know the right directions, and we never want to be wrong. There was one country I visited where I was told that no one will ever admit that they don't know the directions. So, you have to ask at least two or three people, because the first person might give you a wrong direction simply because they think they have to say something. Maybe they wanted to impress. Below that is a fear of rejection, or a fear that people will judge us negatively if we don't give a good answer.

There are all these layers of purposes when we speak. To ask the question, "What's the purpose that I have for saying something?" can really be valuable, because sometimes the purpose for saying something is not really the wisest purpose. To really understand yourself well enough to understand why we're going to say what we're going to say—even if it is the truth, even if it is kindly—is very, very important.

What's interesting is the expression the Buddha uses to talk about speaking what is beneficial. It is actually a compound word. The word for beneficial, attha, has many meanings. It can be welfare, benefit, or advantage. It also apparently can mean a blessing—speak what is a blessing. It can also mean speaking purposefully, for a purpose. It can mean speaking what is related to the goal. In Buddhism, sometimes attha refers to the ultimate goal of liberation and freedom. But the second half of the compound word is saṃhita^[2]. Saṃhita means possessed with, connected with, or endowed with. So it means: Speak endowed with benefit. Speak endowed with purpose. Speak connected to the goal.

That relates to what I did in the guided meditation. It is not only to speak what's beneficial for a purpose—"Is this beneficial for the person I'm speaking to? Is this beneficial for what's going to happen in the situation?"—but to speak in a way that's beneficial now. Speak in a way that's connected or endowed with the purpose of Buddhism, the goal of Buddhism. If the goal is to not cling, speak in a way that has no clinging in it. If the goal of Buddhism is to be free of greed, hatred, and delusion—this is one of the primary ways that the Buddha talks about the goal of liberation or enlightenment: the absence of greed, hatred, and confusion or delusion—can the way we speak partake of that? Can it be endowed with elements of that?

So then this fourth criterion is really connecting speech to our practice itself. It's saying speech itself can be endowed with practice; it can be as rich a form of practice as meditation practice. The core aspect of Buddhist practice is not just to be mindful. The core aspect is to be mindful so that we can be in the world without clinging, without greed, hatred, and delusion.

Nowadays, with all the hatred that's going on in our society, it's even more important to understand the value of non-hatred. And it's maybe more important to speak up—to speak up for truth, for what's right, for the ending of brutality, harm, hatred, and economic exploitation. All these things that go on in our society and our world as a whole, it's important to speak up for it, against it. But it's also important to do so endowed with liberation, endowed with the qualities of the goal of practice itself. The means in practice—the means to freedom—should contain elements of the goal. It is not that the means and the goal are the same, but the means should reflect or mirror the goal.

This is where our relationship to what's happening is so important. It is in the relationship we have that we can begin exercising, finding, and practicing the pieces of that goal: pieces of non-clinging, non-greed, non-hatred, and non-confusion. We're not confused if we know we can always be mindful. We're not confused if we know that the purpose of all we're doing is to do what we're doing without clinging. That is one of the purposes among the multiple layers of purposes. So speaking can be an integral, essential form of Buddhist practice.

I hope that we learn to speak well, and speak up strongly and clearly for all kinds of issues with our friends and our family when we need to speak up. In our society, when we need to stand up for civil rights, we need to stand up against brutality and the harm that people are doing to each other in all political directions and in all kinds of ways. Of course, we should speak up, but can we speak up remembering that we're practicing? We're practicing for the greatest benefit, the greatest welfare of self and others. The greatest welfare is found through exercising our freedom to relate to what's happening without any greed, without any hatred whatsoever, and without any confusion or delusion about what's going on. This is radical.

So, to ask ourselves when we are speaking the question, "Is it beneficial?" is a rich and very important, multifaceted question. Is it beneficial for a purpose? Is it purposefully beneficial? Is it spoken in a beneficial way? Is it spoken in a way that's endowed with the qualities of liberation itself? Is it endowed with non-clinging?

As I said in the guided meditation, we will cling. Unless we're fully enlightened, clinging will happen. The important question when we see it is: How do we relate to that, and then not cling to the clinging? When we do have impulses that shouldn't be acted on, that are harmful, or difficult aspects of ourselves that arise—of course, things like that arise. The important thing is not that we have these things, difficult thoughts, or even hate that arises. The important thing is: Do we see it, and do we relate to it in a way that is non-clinging, without picking it up, without being involved, and without saying it?

If we can ask ourselves the question, "Is it beneficial?" in all the ways I'm talking about, and it turns out the answer is no in significant ways, then don't say it. Or, what might be needed is to find the inner strength to not say it. It's hard sometimes not to speak. The impulse to speak, the drive to speak, the need to speak is so strong. It's so connected to the deep emotional reservoirs or experiences that we have. But if it's going to cause harm, don't say it in a way that causes harm. Find a different way to speak. Find a way to speak about what's happening for you, what's happening in the world, and what's going on in a way that is beneficial, has a good purpose, and is endowed with and connected to the goal of practice itself—connected to freedom, compassion, and love. That would be to speak what is beneficial.

Thank you. We have one more to do tomorrow. See you tomorrow. Thank you.