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Happy Hour: Nourishing Peace

Introduction

Thank you, Neil, for posting information about the Google Groups in chat. One last thing I need to do in order to set up the settings... Okay, I'll start with the theme.

Also, one thing to share with you is that, given that we've had some Zoom bombers visiting us after the little dharmette, from now on, Diane and I will lock the room. I will share this with you so that if you want to come and be part of the Zoom gathering, please come in earlier. Otherwise, we will be locking the room so that latecomers will not be getting in, to protect the space.

With that, I would like to share a few words about the practice for tonight. The invitation for today's practice is mettā^[1] and care for ourselves. How can we care for ourselves? This being a Friday—and for some it will be already a Saturday, joining from different time zones—and at the beginning of a weekend, how can we take care of ourselves? How can we take quiet time? How can we take some downtime?

How can we take care of ourselves by taking care of this body, taking care of this mind, taking care of this heart? What are some wholesome ways we can care for ourselves? Is it through sleeping some more, just a simple way of caring for this body? I think of the food pyramid, you know; there's the care pyramid. In the care pyramid, I think of the first layer, the most important layer, being sleep. Maybe it's sleeping and taking care of this body if it's tired, if it's been working hard. Is it through going into nature? Is it through being silent, being quiet, and not engaging so much with the world, with stuff? Could it be through perhaps listening to a dharma talk, connecting with goodness, connecting with the dharma in wholesome ways?

What are some ways for us to take care of ourselves? Mettā is also a way to take care of ourselves—kindness, goodness, entering into silence, connecting with ourselves.

So, with that as the invitation, I'd like to invite us to practice together, to enter the space of silence together.

Guided Meditation

Let us begin by entering into a space of practice. Landing, landing, landing deeply. Landing into our seats. Landing into this body.

Connecting, connecting. Connecting with this body. Connecting with a moment of silence, quiet. Taking refuge. How can we deeply connect to the space of quiet, the space of quiet within? Connecting to the breath. To our feet connected to the earth. Receiving, receiving the breath.

Taking a moment of refuge and silence. Enter silence as a moment of care. How can we care for ourselves?

Relaxing the body. Receiving the breath. Releasing whatever is not wholesome, whatever is not helpful in this moment.

May I be safe. May I be safe from inner and outer harm. May I be happy and joyful. May I be healthy and strong. And may my life unfold with ease.

Tuning into the inner peace, inner silence, as a source of healing, as a source of care. It's a source of nourishment. Knowing, trusting that connecting with silence, connecting with the inner silence as an expression of care for ourselves, is soothing and healing, nourishing each breath. Inviting ourselves to connect with the inner stillness, the inner quiet, as an expression of care, goodwill for ourselves and others.

May this being who is me feel nourished—heart, body, and mind—with the grace of connection. Connection to silence, to peace, to stillness, to care.

May I be safe from inner and outer harm. May I be happy and joyful. May this body be healthy and strong. And may this life of mine unfold with ease, as much ease as possible.

May I be nourished, healed, calmed through silence, through the grace of peace in my heart. May I offer this goodness and peace to myself and to others.

May I know and taste for myself the peace of the Buddha. May I know and taste for myself the peace of the Buddha to serve. To serve this being who is me, in this shape and form, in this life. And to serve others in goodness.

May all beings everywhere know peace. May all beings everywhere be free.

Thank you all. Thank you for your practice.

Q&A and Reflections

Nikki: So, we have time for questions or comments. Jane, I see your hand is raised, is that correct? No.

Yes, we have time. I see Gabriel's hand is raised. Is that correct, Gabriel?

Gabriel: Yes, yes.

Nikki: Please.

Gabriel: Hello Nikki, thank you. Every question that popped up in my mind during the session was about the teachings on mettā and on anattā^[2], that self. I was curious to hear you say a few words about how we can work with both of these and if they can help each other.

Nikki: Yeah, there is so much I can say about this. But without going into a long dharma talk, tell me how this is coming up for you. How is this question showing up for you, so I know what to say that might be helpful to where you are in your practice right now with this?

Gabriel: Yes. I'm working in my practice on some insight practice and just trying to see how the self is constructed. And I'm wondering... let me say that again. The self-construct is constructed—sorry, yes, it's built by the mind. And at the same time, this can sometimes feel a bit dry, you know? At the same time, there is the mettā practice. It's just not clear still in my mind how they work together. I know that they do, but I'm not sure, I don't know yet how precisely.

Nikki: Got it. Okay, so the way I hear your question, the way this is arising for you is that you're working with insight practices and anattā, seeing how self is constructed—how the self is constructed from our thoughts and ways of seeing and being. In some ways, it feels kind of dry, and you have this intuition that mettā, care, and love have something to do with this practice, but you don't quite know how it fits in yet. Did I hear you correctly? You can keep yourself unmuted if you like when you do the back and forth.

Gabriel: Yeah. To be more specific, it may be interesting: I'm working with this in relation to my music practice. Because I try to see, when I play, there is no "me" in there; it's just happening by itself, and it feels very rich to explore those ideas, and that's why I'm working with that.

Nikki: Got it, okay. Well, that's very helpful. That's beautiful to hear. There is a sense of co-creation. There's so much in creativity that it feels like it moves through you. And of course, part of it is your volition, part of it is your will, and also all the causes and conditions. I'm so glad you brought up music especially, because seeing love, mettā, in that...

Let me say this: The teaching, of course, as you know, is not that there is no self. There is a self for conventional reasons; it's very helpful. And yet, from a particular way of seeing, from a particular perspective, we can see how it's all constructed. In that construction, it doesn't mean that things become meaningless or that there is a lack of love, care, or beauty. In fact, with what you bring in with music, you can see the beauty, you can see the grace. There is this beauty that moves through. There is this impersonal love and beauty and grace that's not yours; it's above and beyond you, and yet it is you, and you are a part of it.

So this love, beauty, grace, music—all of this can infuse the impersonality. It's not just you. See? Does that make sense?

Gabriel: Yeah, it does.

Nikki: And instead of it becoming dry, actually, it becomes more graceful. Wow, this beauty! Because as a musician, you know this, it's amazing, right? When, as a jazz musician, it clicks, it's like, "This is bigger than me. It's not me." This is wow. You know when you just get goosebumps, like, "This is bigger than me. This is me and not me. Yes, I am creating this music, and yet this is bigger than me." So that is where the sense of mettā, love, and grace can come into play with that. Invite it.

Gabriel: Thank you. Thank you very much.

Nikki: Thank you so much for this question. This was great. I really appreciate it. Beautiful.

Maybe we have time for one more reflection before we turn to practicing with small groups.

Okay, so how about we turn to small groups of roughly size three and start with maybe 15 seconds of silence? Our theme has been peace and silence. See how you can care for yourself, care for others in the space of silence, mettā, care, and then share as much or as little as you like. Take care of yourselves. Take care of each other. This is a sacred space; it's both about you and not about you. I really appreciate Gabriel bringing that in. See how you can make beautiful music of mettā with people in your small group.

The rooms are created, and here we go. I'm going to open them up now.

Welcome back everyone. The rooms are closed. Everybody's back, and we have a couple of minutes for any reflections, questions, comments, what you noticed, anything. It's part of your gift to the sangha^[3] from your practice. I see Bill's hand, Fred, and Abraham. Okay. All right, Bill.

Bill: Hey. I just find the silence, I mean, the peace appealing, but of course, my mind wants to go off and find entertainment somewhere else, you know? And it's always that.

Nikki: Yeah, and you know what? I'm glad you're noticing this, Bill. What you're reporting is not unusual at all. It's a matter of seeing the delight and the joy of peace because we're not used to that. We are so not used to that.

I'll give you a little example. You know, when I was younger, I loved ice cream that had all kinds of stuff in it—rocky road, marshmallows, nuts, and chocolate—and I couldn't understand why people liked vanilla. It seemed so plain. And yet, when I've gotten older, it's like, "Wow, vanilla is so sophisticated, it's so subtle, it's sublime, right?" But I needed to train my taste buds to appreciate the subtle.

Think of your mind that way. The mind kind of likes the entertainment, but it's a matter of training your mind to appreciate the subtleness.

Bill: Thank you.

Nikki: Thank you. And that's completely normal, a completely normal part of this path. Thanks, Bill. Fred, please.

Fred: Thank you, Nikki. I was just starting to say this in our group, how appreciative I am for this practice. Today I was sitting in the AT&T office after several hours of trying to unravel a bureaucratic snafu. As I was sitting there in silence, I could picture myself at another time—enraged, cynical, impatient. I was a little of all those things, but I wasn't flaring up to make it worse. Everybody around me was being as helpful as they could be, and it was a drag for them too. By behaving better together, we all got a resolution with minimal—you know, with no damage, really. I thank you, and the sangha, and this practice for being helpful in that kind of everyday way. Thank you.

Nikki: Thank you, Fred. Thank you so much for this practice report, this report from the field! Yay! My heart, and I see lots of other hearts have lit up. Thank you. Thanks for your practice and sharing it with so many others at the AT&T store.

Abraham, please, and this will be the last comment, please.

Abraham: Yeah, I just wanted to thank you for that invitation at the beginning of the hour that if all we needed was maybe some little quiet time, and maybe sometimes we just need rest... I really appreciated that. That hit a chord. But it was so nice to be in a room with a bunch of guys who had spent the day sending love out into the world. It was nice, and the same thing in all these other rooms I see here, too.

Nikki: Sweet. Thank you, Abraham. Thank you so much for that. We'll let this be the last comment. And Claire, I'm happy to stay a couple of minutes extra as the time is ending.

I also wanted to say, speaking of the importance of rest, I'm going to be taking a little trip for about 10 days. There are some wonderful guest teachers who will be holding Happy Hour Sangha, and Diana will be here too, so I just wanted to let you know. Please continue to come, support each other, support the teachers who will be supporting you, and I look forward to seeing you in a couple of weeks.

May you be well. May you be safe. May you be happy. May all beings be well, including ourselves. Thank you.