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Happy Hour: Shaping Our Reality With Gratitude

Introduction

Okay, hello, and welcome everyone to Happy Hour. Lovely to be with you and hear your hellos, see your faces. For tonight's practice, I wanted to bring in this framing, something that I learned recently. It has to do with natural sciences, it has to do with the way that our minds work, our brains work, our body works.

The visual system is an example of how we process information. In the past, scientists thought—and when we do naive reasoning, we think—that there's an object in the world, and the visual processing uses the cones and rods to process the shapes, colors, and lines. It's all sent to the brain for processing, and we go, "Aha, it's a cat." That's naive biology.

But it actually turns out scientists have discovered that there are more pathways sending information down from the brain to the eyes instead of from the eyes to the brain. When scientists first realized this, it was an interesting quandary: why is that? It's surprising. And yet, when you think of it, it makes sense, because if our information processing as humans had to process all pieces of information fresh every time, it would be so inefficient, and nature is very efficient.

So guess what? The brain is actually sending down expectations for what it expects to see to the eyes, and the eyes are just seeing the difference. It's actually very similar to many computer algorithms for image processing. If you're processing video, you just process the differential. If there's a movement, you only process that; you don't have to process every frame over and over. So it's just your expectation.

The implication this has for us as human beings is that we construct our reality. We know this, and yet this is such an interesting example where our brain is constructing our reality through its expectations. We expect to see maybe a cat because we just perhaps processed a cat, or this is the animal we expect to see when we open the door. And not only with our visual system in the world, the brain sends to our processing systems what it expects to see, and then our processing system gleans the information to support the suggested delusion that our brain has.

This example of the visual system is so interesting and radical, and yet it's the same with how we process information otherwise in the world. If we are looking at the world with the sense of, "Okay, this person is mean to me, and the world is a mean place, an unfriendly place, an unkind place," well, guess what we're going to see? Guess what we're going to pick up? And yet, if we expect kindness—"Oh yes, the world is a kind place, this person is kind, I am kind, I see my own goodness"—guess what we perceive? Our perception is based on our expectation in the most fundamental way of processing. I just bring up the visual system as an example.

So we create our own reality. Not only physicists and natural scientists share this new way of thinking, but also, of course, philosophers and contemplatives. We create our own reality. Let's create a reality that is kind. Let's set up these expectations that are kind, that are generous, that are onward-leading. Let's set these expectations for kindness, for goodness, for goodwill. That is the part of our training in this practice at Happy Hour. We train ourselves, our habitual patterns, our expectations, our set point—whatever way you want to relate to it—to be one of goodwill and kindness. That's how we act, that's what we perceive, that's how the world becomes through our perceptions, through our set point.

Enough of a framework for tonight. Let's set the conditions for goodwill and kindness. Tonight I think I want to do gratitude and appreciation, seeing the good in the world.

Guided Meditation

So let's practice. Let's settle. Let's arrive in our bodies.

Settling. It's always first with the breath. With the body arriving, arriving. Receiving the breath with appreciation. All the sensations of sitting. Feet touching the earth. Hands touching our lap. Sit bones on the chair. Let's be silent and just settle.

Relax the body. Connect with the breath appreciatively. Right now, giving my heart to this practice. Just letting the breath be received in the abdomen. How lovely to be able to sit in and breathe. Sublime.

And receive each breath in this body with appreciation. As if a new beginning. Receive the sensations appreciatively throughout the body. This feeling of being alive. Through these sensations, we know we're alive. Exhale, letting go a little bit into relaxation.

How can we turn, expanding the sense of presence? As if our breath was a little wider, not just through our body, but a little wider. The breath is breathing us. We're sitting in this space. Spacious, being calm, soothed through the reverberations of our breath, beyond our skin.

And now, as we sit, feeling sensations spaciously, being breathed. A spacious container. Opening our heart. Inviting something that we appreciate to waltz in. Not going out and searching for it, but just opening the door. Letting it gently saunter in.

It can be something close, near. Just maybe your breath. Or the sense of being able to sit upright, something we usually take for granted. Let this goodness, whatever it is that waltzes in, let it fill your heart. Relish with each breath. Keep connected to the breath, relishing, appreciating.

With the breath and sensations, a spacious container. Relax the body with ease, inviting something else that waltzes into your heart. So there's not too much switching here and there; it can imbalance the mind. Settle, stay with something for a little while. And in your own time, invite another guest to come in and be appreciated. Another gift into your heart.

Something about ourselves to appreciate. We often focus on what we don't appreciate, we judge ourselves, but turn, invite something we appreciate about ourselves. What we're doing, we're not doing, or being and not being. This person always doing their best, and thus appreciating this effort.

And now turning, opening up to perhaps aspects that are somewhat challenging or have been challenging. Maybe not the most challenging items, but some things challenging, and seeing the gift, seeing the good in between. "Can I feel grateful for this too? Can I? Is it possible?" And if the answer comes back no, it's okay, don't push it. Move on to something else and ask the question: "Can I?" Not possible.

Imagine a situation that may not be the easiest for you right now; for someone else in a completely different situation, this would be an absolute blessing. For example, if your work is very heavy, very demanding, you're tired—someone else doesn't have a job and would love to be in your shoes. Can you appreciate the good? Not to condone the challenges, but the good.

And as we bring this meditation session to a close, we appreciate ourselves, this opportunity offered to the community through technology, and all the amazing causes and conditions that have to be. Appreciate all of this, and our showing up. We open our hearts wide and appreciate all of that, giving it a big appreciative hug.

And sharing our blessings, our goodness, our gladness with all beings everywhere. May all beings be happy. May all beings be free, including ourselves.

[Bell rings]

I think there was still a problem with the audio. Did you hear the bell? No? Okay, let's try that again. Yes.

Lovely. Thank you all for your practice.

Small Group Practice

So let's move things around a little bit. I'm going to open the chat, but what I'd like to invite us to do actually, instead of inviting your reflections now, let's move into the small groups now and we'll save space at the end for reflections. Just trying something a little different.

The invitation for the small groups is: what are you grateful for? You can share one thing. What are you grateful for? It can be anything. The next person will share something, and then the next person, going around and around. And this practice can be so joyous. Yes, thank you Neil also for posting the survey information again, in case you lost the previous link.

The invitation for the small groups is to go around and around, and this practice can be so happy-making. Such a sense of abundance, both holding one's abundance and witnessing others, supporting others. And of course, you can say pass, just hold space. Offering from your own experience, not asking, not querying, not directing, but just offering something from your own experience if you wish. Let's do reverse alphabetical order just for the fun of it.

I'm going to create the rooms. Take care of yourselves, take care of each other.

[Pause for groups]

Okay, rooms are closed, everybody's back. So the first question that I have for you was, did that feel like enough time or not? If you feel like it was enough time, raise your hand. I see a few hands. Okay, if it feels like that was not enough time, raise your hand. How many hands do I see? Not enough time? Okay, all right, I see half and half.

Reflections

Great, so do we have time for reflections now for a few minutes? Either about the meditation—any aha moments, surprises, questions—or about doing this gratitude practice around what you might have noticed in the group. Fred and Barbara? Fred or Barbara, or both?

Fred: Well, I'm the one who raised my hand jumping in, unless you want to say something too. I was just feeling how well this practice goes with loving-kindness. It feels like a very natural fit. And the three of us who were together, I think we all really enjoyed just bringing to mind things we are grateful for. It's like a little thumbtack note on the wall of consciousness here that, oh yeah, there's so much to remember. And you have to actually do it consciously. You have to remember to remember. And then there is so very much to be thankful for in every day. It seems like it builds on itself. It seems like you erect a kind of pyramid of conscious thankfulness about the day, and that makes it a better day. So thank you.

Nikki: Yeah, thank you, Fred. I appreciate the many observations you made, one being this sense of a pyramid. This is what I like to also call the virtuous cycle. Because when you start to pre-condition yourself to see the good, then you start to see the good, and then you see more good, and then it just becomes a virtuous cycle.

One practice I usually do in the evening when I lie in bed: before I sleep, I think of a few things I'm grateful for today. I go through the day from the morning to the evening. "Oh, this happened, and this happened. Oh, that was lovely, that was—oh wow!" So it really brings a lot of joy to my heart before I fall asleep. I share that if you may want to try it on for size.

Any other reflections? You can also type them in chat. As you know, if you type them to me privately, I'll only read the reflection, not your name. And if you'd like to type it to everyone, you're welcome to. Any other observations about this practice, shaping our own reality through appreciation and gratitude?

Okay, Barbara.

Barbara: What I wanted to add to what Fred said was that he and another person in the breakout session said that they had done the gratitude email to someone else in the group that you gave as an assignment two years ago, and they're continuing to do it. That was something that they were grateful for. And so this virtuous cycle, you've got yourself to thank for that, just saying. [Laughter]

Nikki: Love it! Love it, love it, thank you. Thanks for bringing that in, Barbara. That makes me so happy, just to no end. Thanks for sharing that, oh my goodness! Yay Fred, and whoever else they're doing this for all this time! Thanks for bringing that in. It may inspire other people to start doing that in the community, in the Sangha^[1]. That is so awesome. Love it, love it. Thank you so much Barbara, that's so great.

Diana?

Diana: I was just happy and astonished to hear about the visual system and about the brain with many, many more pathways than the eyes. It goes a long way to explaining why, especially in the recent past, I've been looking for something—looking for an important document, I think—and I can't see it, and it is absolutely right in front of me in an envelope with its name on it. And the next morning it's there, there's been nobody around. There's something else happening in the brain attention-wise, whatever we're looking for or not. And it's happened several times recently, not seeing what's right there with distraction, whatever else is coming in the brain. So yeah.

Nikki: Yeah, thank you, you're so welcome. It's so remarkable, really, just the way that we actually shape our reality. The way we perceive is not what we think it is and has so many implications. Maybe actually what I'll share, and there's so much more in this book where I learned this—it's been blowing my mind. Maybe I'll just share the name. It's called Helgoland by Carlo Rovelli. I trust Neil will send it to the group. The book is about quantum theory, and it's very accessible and it's pretty awesome and pretty wild, really pretty wild.

So thank you all, thank you for your practice. I am grateful for Happy Hour. I am grateful for you all, and that's one of the things that was coming up for me as I was doing this practice tonight. Among the many things I'm grateful for, I am grateful for Happy Hour. So grateful for you. Thank you for your practice. Thank you for being part of this amazing, beautiful community. May all of you, may all of us, may all beings be well. May all beings be free.

Thanks everyone, take good care, be well.