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Dharmette: Kusala (5 of 10) Seeing Wisely the Unwholesome

So I want to continue my thoughts on the topic of these two weeks: wholesome and unwholesomeness, skillfulness and unskillfulness. This week I wanted to continue a little bit more focus on the unwholesome, and next week, more on the wholesome.

I'll begin with a story. When I was twenty-seven, I was ordained as a Zen monk and Zen priest. It was a big turning point in my life to enter into the religious life as a calling, as something that was going to be my life. One of the surprises to me from doing the ordination ceremony was that afterwards, I had a shaved head, I wore robes, and I was now much more of a public figure. People could see that I was publicly demonstrating—in how I shaved my head and the clothes I wore—that I was dedicated to this religious life, this Dharma^[1] life.

I felt much more accountable to people. I felt much more acutely sensitive to other people studying me and seeing how I behave. I think as a consequence of this, I became much more acutely aware of my own shortcomings, and I had lots of them. I became much more acutely sensitive to them.

But at the same time, and this was the remarkable thing, is that because I had been ordained, I felt, metaphorically or figuratively, that I was now a child of the Buddha. So it was more okay to have the shortcomings. I was accepted, in a sense, with them. This combination I thought was really precious: that I became more aware of my shortcomings, and it was more okay to have them.

In a certain way, it didn't mean that I indulged in them and had free rein to act them out, or just continue merely going along with my shortcomings. I had a practice to look at it, to work with it, and to find freedom from it. This combination of heightened sensitivity to one's own shortcomings as a good thing, as a helpful thing, and at the very same time, not to be troubled by it, not be defined by it, not feel somehow belittled or ashamed of it—this is the way forward in the Dharma.

We keep saying that many of the Vipassana^[2] teachers, when we give talks about the hindrances—the hindrances^[3] are five unwholesome states of mind and unwholesome forms of behavior and thinking: when we get caught in greed, ill will, sloth and torpor, restlessness and remorse, and doubt—the Vipassana teachers will often say, "Don't take them personally. Don't define yourself by them. Don't judge yourself by their presence."

It's completely natural for a human mind to produce hindrances. We have millions of years of evolution behind us that has shaped us in the way we are, and we can't undo that in some automatic way. You didn't choose how many arms and hands you were born with. You weren't sitting there as an embryo forming your body parts and thinking, "This time I think I want four arms or six arms, and I can be much more efficient and do more things, and that would be a good idea." [Laughter]

Our genetics operate in a certain way. Before we're consciously aware and can make choices, so much of who we are has been shaped by the continuum of evolution, of genetics, of this natural unfolding of our lives that's part of the natural world. With that comes the tendencies to behave in certain unskillful ways, unwholesome ways, unbeneficial ways. But we can see this as part of nature, as opposed to seeing it as somehow a sin or a great moral crime that we should behave this way. We can have a willingness to see clearly, to acknowledge, to recognize our shortcomings.

If we think even the word "shortcomings" is a little bit judgmental, maybe you could say your foibles, or maybe just recognize our unwholesome states of mind. If even that seems a little judgmental, you could use the translation of akusala^[4] as unskillful. "Well, that's unskillful." Unskillful can be much more simple and straightforward, like, "Oh, that wasn't useful. That's not beneficial. That's not a good skill to do."

Somehow or other, there is this combination of being willing to acknowledge we have shortcomings. Sometimes we might be amused, sometimes maybe be a little bit sad that they're there, because there's a way they cause harm to self and others. But we learn not to carry the weight of them and not allow ourselves to be defined in some negative way, so that they add more suffering on top of suffering. Just see it as natural, and then work with it, be wise about it, and be very careful not to cause harm with it.

There's a wonderful list of unwholesome states in the suttas^[5], in the teachings of the Buddha. In this particular teaching, seeing the presence of these—really acknowledging them—and then seeing when they're no longer there, when they're definitively and clearly absent, shows us the movement and the potential of what we're looking for here in the Dharma. We're not looking just to simply accept our foibles; we're actually looking in the Dharma to live without them, to be free.

This is a radical teaching that some people feel is unattainable or unrealistic. But it's phenomenal how much we can redo the software of our minds so that certain tendencies and habits that we have can fall away. It takes practice. It takes dedication. It's not going to happen from wishful thinking. But to see the presence of these unskillful states and then to really experience the absence of them, we say, "Wow, this is a possibility." To be inspired by that—this is what inspires me to practice. This possibility of freedom, of fresh air, open space, clarity—this is possible. And now that I have a taste, this is what to practice with.

A List of Unwholesome States

I think it's a wonderful list about unwholesome states. What's interesting about it is that almost all of them are social in nature, meaning that they are motivations we have that usually exist in relationship to other people. These are unwholesome states where we can feel, as you hear them, how they are painful for the person who has them, and they inflict pain, suffering, or problems for the people they are inflicted upon.

Here is a list of unwholesome states of mind or unwholesome motivations:

• Covetousness: Coveting the things of other people.
• Ill will: Having ill will or hate towards others.
• Anger: Often directed towards others.
• Resentment: Often directed towards others.
• Contempt: Towards others.
• Insolence.
• Envy: Often related to others.
• Avarice^[6]: Again, it's usually wanting the things of other people.
• Deceit: Usually we do that in relation to social situations. You can deceive yourself, but fraud is even more so in relationship to other people.
• Rivalry.
• Conceit: Often formed in relationship to others—we're better than others, we're worse than others, we want something from others, status, or something. Without other people around, maybe there wouldn't be much reason for conceit.
• Arrogance: Same thing, arrogance is often done in relationship to others.
• Vanity.

All these things could be addressed to oneself, perhaps. One could have ill will towards oneself, anger, resentment, even contempt, and deceit towards oneself, or self-deceit. In rivalry, some people have inner wars between different sides of who they are, so they can be within us. But I want to highlight how much these are social emotions.

If we want to contribute to a better society, a better world where we don't want to harm others, how useful it is to settle and resolve these unwholesome states within ourselves. As we do that, we don't experience the self-harm that all of these create. I think it's really fantastic, amazing, that it's also a natural thing that we can resolve, settle, and undo these forces in our lives. Simultaneously, it benefits ourselves. It also benefits others—maybe not in the exact moment, but it will, because we're not going to go around acting on these unhealthy behaviors.

This brings motivation for us, hopefully, to look at our unwholesome states, to look at the unskillful things we have—greed, hatred, and delusion in all their different forms. And in doing so, not doing it unskillfully, not doing it in unwholesome ways. To look at our unwholesome behavior, thoughts, and motivations in ways that do more of the same, that have ill will in them, just adds suffering upon suffering.

The Dharma approach is to see it as natural, and in a certain way, impersonal. See it as if you are a child of the Buddha, a child of nature, of the world. The world is not judging you. Nature is not judging you. You're accepted, you belong here. But please, in this deep sense of acceptance and non-criticalness of oneself, be realistic and honest about the shortcomings and unwholesomeness that we have. In a certain kind of way, be inspired by that: "Wow, if I see this in me now, it's possible to work towards freedom." Without knowing it's there and seeing it clearly, where's the freedom?

This is a call to a loving, peaceful, and very clear recognition of your foibles, your shortcomings, your unwholesome tendencies, and what you do that is not healthy. Try to see it, be with it, and relate to it in healthy ways, in skillful ways, in wholesome ways. We can be inspired by the wholesome, and that will be the topic for next week. We can't really separate these two so much—they'll go back and forth a little bit—but next week we'll look at the wholesome. What I have in mind is to look more at translating kusala^[7], the Pali word for this, by the alternative translation, which is "skillful." We'll look more at skillfulness next week.

Thank you so much, and I look forward to next week.