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Happy Hour: Metta and Impermanence

Introduction

Hello and welcome, dear sangha^[1], to this edition of Happy Hour today, whatever the time might be in the time zone you're in around the world.

The theme for today's practice is metta^[2] and impermanence. I want to say a couple of words about that. Impermanence is a fact of life. Nothing that's challenging stays ever the same; everything will change. Everything that is "good" or "bad" in our lives, whatever the experience, everything changes.

Sometimes we feel that impermanence is on our side when something is challenging and we know it's going to shift and change. Even though our minds think, Oh, this will never change, it will always be the same, but of course, they will shift. And of course, if there is a period of ease, enjoy it, because it will shift, it will change. Try not to grasp, not to cling, because clinging to it can cause undue pain. So it's wise to realize everything shifts and changes; it is part of this life.

So, metta and impermanence. Can we love what is, knowing that it will shift and change? Especially knowing that it will shift and change ourselves, situations, and people in our lives. Can we lean into metta, goodwill, care, and love, especially in light of impermanence, in the light of the shifting nature of life? That's just the way it is on this dimension of being human.

I want to offer a poem as our inspiration. The poem is called Eternity, which is interesting because it actually talks about impermanence. It's by William Blake. Here's the poem, many of you probably already know it:

He who binds to himself a joy Does the winged life destroy; He who kisses the joy as it flies Lives in eternity's sunrise.

I'll read it one more time. Apologies, it's gendered language, but he lived from 1757 to 1827, so you can change the gender as it works for you. I'll read it as he has written it:

He who binds to himself a joy Does the winged life destroy; He who kisses the joy as it flies Lives in eternity's sunrise.

So this idea of impermanence, it's joy as it flies. Can we kiss the joy? Can we kiss the joy as it flies instead of binding ourselves to it? By binding ourselves, by the sense of clinging, we destroy ourselves, we destroy it, we destroy the joy as it flies. So can we kiss it as it flies? Can we have goodwill, metta, love for whatever the circumstances are as they're flying? As they're flying, they're changing all the time. Changing all the time. So can we live in eternity's sunrise by appreciating with love, with gratitude, with metta the impermanent nature of all things?

That is the loose theme of tonight's practice.

Guided Meditation

Let's settle. Let's begin together.

Let's arrive in our meditation posture, whatever might be supportive for you in this moment. Sitting, standing, lying down, or maybe walking for those who might listen to this later on AudioDharma. And for most of us right now, sitting.

Sitting, feeling our sit bones on the cushion, on the chair. Landing in this moment, in the impermanence, the fleeting nature of this moment. Kissing this moment as it flies. Ah.

Letting our feet, the bottom of our feet, sense and feel their contact with the earth. I am here. Just as the Buddha touched the earth with his hand the night of his enlightenment. Let the earth be my witness^[3]. Touching the earth with our feet, with our body, with our bottom on the cushion. I am here.

Allowing the breath to move any way it wishes in and out of the body, received, felt in the lower abdomen. Just receiving this breath. This in-breath, this out-breath, with appreciation if it's available right now. This impermanent moment as it flies.

Just tilling the soil, calming, inviting the mind to settle, to be calmed with each breath. In the body. Received in the body. Each breath. Received in-breath. Received out-breath. Received in the abdomen. Embracing, appreciating. As if each breath is a winged life. A winged life in the poem. As a butterfly. Appreciating.

Turning our kind awareness, receiving with kind awareness each breath as it passes through.

Now let us turn our kind awareness to this being who is us, who is myself. This impermanent being who's of course impermanent in the big picture, but also shifts and changes. Aches and pains, energy of the body—this body keeps shifting and changing every hour, every day. Moods, emotions, thoughts, coming and going. This dear, dear being with arising and passing sensations, thoughts, and emotions. So much in flux. This being is in flux and highly impermanent^[4]. Oh dear, dear being who is me.

Holding this being, shifting, changing. Being with metta, with love, with care, with friendliness.

Any phrases of metta that work for you, feel free to use the phrases. Any phrases you have. I'll offer some typical phrases.

May I be safe from inner and outer harm.

Knowing fully well that there is no complete safety in the world, we're just expressing a wish, out of kindness for safety for ourselves. May I be safe.

May I be happy and joyful.

May I be healthy and strong.

May I meet every changing moment with ease.

May I be safe as the conditions internally and externally change all the time.

May I be happy and joyful in the changing world, internally changing, externally changing.

May I enjoy as much health as possible with shifting circumstances, internally and externally.

And may I meet with ease every changing moment.

The phrases adapted for our theme today. You can shorten them if you wish.

Safe. Happy. Healthy. Ease.

Perhaps synchronized with the rhythm of the breath.

Safe. Happy. Healthy. Ease.

Now if you wish, opening up. Opening up our kind awareness or loving awareness, appreciation, from internal to the external. All the beings in our life. All the circumstances in our life. All shifting, changing, impermanent.

Let's start with the beings. Beings in our life. Sharing metta, sharing our goodwill. The understanding that they too are impermanent, and their circumstances. Now their lives, their bodies, their minds, their emotions—it's all in flux. Wishing well for these shifting, changing winged life forms. Dear beings all around us.

May they be safe. Safe as possible in the shifting nature, internally, externally. Happy. Healthy. And have ease with every shifting moment, changing moment of experience.

And opening further, opening further for all beings. All beings everywhere. All impermanent beings. And their circumstances impermanent too. Wishing all beings well. Including ourselves, this impermanent being with impermanent circumstances internally, externally.

And for the last moments of this practice period, can we meet the passing circumstances of our lives with friendliness, with metta? Internal, external circumstances, these fleeting conditions^[5], can we befriend them, meet them with friendliness? Whether easy or challenging, they too shall pass. This too shall pass. Meeting this passing moment with friendliness.

Thank you. Thank you for your practice. Metta and impermanence.

Reflections and Q&A

So we have time for reflections, or questions, comments. And always remember that your sharing your insights—what came up, whether it was challenging or something interesting was realized—is really a gift to the community. So that's the spirit in which I invite you to please feel free to raise your hand or type in chat. And if you type in chat your reflections, on Zoom we have the option to be anonymous, you can just send them to me, in which case I'll only read the reflection.

Mark, I see your hand. I usually don't see everyone's, but you I see. Please.

Mark: Two years ago I had three dogs, two golden retrievers, and I've lost all of them at early ages. I lost this last one just this past Saturday night, unexpectedly. A few weeks ago, the opportunity came to me to have a golden retriever puppy, which I got. Even though it diluted the passing of the last one, there's obviously the definition of cute. I've been working on the meditation question, 'What does love without attachment look like?' You have answered it with this entire practice tonight, with the Blake poem and everything: to appreciate each moment. Having this puppy, I found to my surprise it was very anxiety-producing that I would lose it. An eagle could swoop down and grab it and take off and eat it. If something were to happen, one would lose it. And as you say so very truthfully, each moment must be met with ease, and that if the puppy was gone tomorrow, I enjoyed it and loved it today. And I meet tomorrow with as much ease and love as I can for that miraculous moment.

Nikki Mirghafori: Thank you. Thank you, Mark. Thank you so much for your reflection. Oh, and thank you for sharing your puppy, the image! That was so sweet to see. He is the definition of cute, he really is. Oh my god, brings up so much metta.

And Mary Christine is also loving your puppy in chat. She says, "He who loves in the present moment lives always in love. He who stands alone in the present moment is eternally lonely." Interesting, thank you.

One more reflection: "Because I have a relationship with this William Blake poem, I've created an art series inspired by it. I felt a wave of gladness and excitement when you read it. Anchoring on the breath helped me stay grounded. It was a wonderful combination." Thank you. You are so welcome. Beautiful reflection.

And I see Wayne, your hand is up. Please.

Wayne: Well, I'm in my 13th hour here sitting in school. Because of the emails from the principal demanding that all the teachers get their Google Slides together for tomorrow's parent back-to-school thing on Zoom, I'm working. And I'm thinking, all I could do was besides hearing the noises... And this year I'm adding a whole lot of—and I'm learning myself because I need it—executive functioning skills for my students. And I was just pondering, what would the Buddha say about executive functioning skills? But then the more I think about it, it's like yes, they can be applied to my life and my practice. I'm certainly no expert. God knows you must have heard a lot about that living in Silicon Valley. But I don't know, I'll ponder it. But in seriousness, I realize, you know, about not wasting time and being organized in my daily tasks and my meditation periods and my Zoom sitting groups. And teaching requires executive functioning that I need to work on.

Nikki Mirghafori: Yeah, thank you, Wayne. And bless you for being part of the community of teachers, and your 13th hour in the classroom preparing and serving and supporting so many students. So what I would say is, you know, executive function is not a term or concept that the Buddha talked about. However, one thing that might be helpful to consider is perhaps reframing it as wisdom. How can you be wise with your time? How can you be wise with your purpose? How can you be wise with the way you spend your time and serve your students? So I'll just leave you with that reframe. Thank you.

So dear ones, dear, dear impermanent beings in impermanent conditions of our lives internally and externally. We are going to now change. Everything changes. So we now are going to shift and change from being in the larger community and turning into small groups of size three to support, to share our practice with each other. Practice in small breakout groups. As always, we'll start with 15 seconds of metta for ourselves, for the other people, and then we will turn to sharing, saying as little or as much as you wish about impermanence and metta, what came up for you. So the rooms are formed and here we go. Take care of yourselves. Take care of each other.

[Following the breakout groups]

So we have just a few minutes for reflections, comments, questions. What came up, what you realized? So please don't be shy, especially if you haven't shared or spoken for a while.

Jerry says, "The poem, the moment." Was there just something specific also that came up in the group? Did you mean the moment in the group or the moment for the meditation, Jerry? You're welcome to unmute if you like, you don't have to.

Jerry: Both actually. At the very end the timing was perfect, and I said, 'Oh, this is a fleeting moment, we need to say goodbye.' And it was a moment of real enjoyment because it was a very enjoyable period to be with another member in the group. But the other part that we talked about—because both of us were reflecting on one hand, everyone's in a lot of pain. Gil^[6] has mentioned in his talks that the pain is never going to be constant, there's always a nuance. And then of course, I reflected on the other side that when you're in joy, there's a tendency to want to cling to it and not let it go. But in both places, it's that space of trying to recognize things are always changing. I gave the example of a cardinal that I buried, that I saw the other day. I took a picture and sent it to the neighbor. But many times I just see the bird and absorb that moment and enjoy it, recognizing it's going to go without having a sense of loss. But you can get into a sense of loss when you're in a period of joy.

Nikki Mirghafori: Right, exactly. Exactly. And you're bringing this up as also Mark brought it up earlier with the puppy. Like, Oh, enjoying this puppy, I love the puppy so much, I love this bird flying so much. Oh, what if it goes away? That sense of angst. So befriending, befriending that impermanence because that too is impermanent. That sense of grasping and clinging. So all of that. Yeah, beautiful. Thank you. And thank you all for your practice, such rich practice with this theme.

One last thing quickly I want to bring in is, Jerry as you're talking about pain, physical pain, realizing everything is impermanent can bring a sense of sweetness, a sense of befriending for what is only here for a limited amount of time, whether challenging or more pleasant.

And Henry on YouTube says, "Hello in-breath, goodbye out-breath. Thanks." So that's another way to summarize our practice. So thank you all. Thank you so much for your practice, for showing up for yourself, for each other, for all whose lives yours touches. May all beings be well. May all beings be free, including ourselves. Thank you.

Happy Hour: Equanimity = Metta + Wisdom