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Guided Meditation

Good morning, good day, good afternoon, good evening. Welcome to our meditation time together.

Imagining what it would look like if there was somehow looking from space, looking down at the Earth, and seeing lines drawn between all of us—a line from each of us to all the others—and what a marvelous web or net they would create. And maybe it's a line of goodwill, friendliness, care. So thank you for being here.

One way of understanding meditation is that it can be a continual act of appreciating oneself. Appreciating oneself sometimes is in short supply, and so we practice it. We practice it not to override or to pretend or to have some kind of Pollyannaish attitude towards ourselves, but we find a way to appreciate ourselves.

Even knowing that we have faults, knowing we have challenges, knowing we have things that maybe are hard to appreciate. But to not define ourselves by our faults or what's hard to appreciate. Do not limit how we relate to ourselves based on those. Maybe even because of those, it's so important to expand the vision to see how we can respect our basic humanity just like we would respect everybody else. And in that respect, to have a fundamental appreciation for our value, for being alive, for being a person, for our capacities, for our potential. As Buddhist practitioners, we are living ourselves into our potential to be free, to be kind, to be caring. To be not caught in anything that we come across in ourselves or in the world around us. To have the opposite of appreciation for ourselves is to be caught in something. So, to a continual act of appreciating ourselves this morning.

To assume a posture that is right for you, that would support you to be alert and present and support you to have this practice of self-appreciation, self-respect. Relax the gaze of your eyes, soften the muscles around your eyes, and if it feels comfortable, closing your eyes.

And then approaching your body, settling into your body with a gentleness. To awaken a greater sensitivity to your embodied experience. Being here with a body, with the weight of your body resting on the chair, a cushion, floor, a bed.

One way to appreciate oneself is to appreciate that you care enough about yourself that you're meditating. That you're engaged in this practice is a wonderful thing. And there's a way of appreciating how caring for your breathing is a good thing, and you might gently, quietly, and without ambition to breathe in a little bit deeper. Fuller breaths, fuller inhales, fuller exhales. Appreciating your breathing, feeling it more fully. Relaxing as you exhale.

Letting your breathing return to normal. And if there are difficult states for you, emotions or concerns, it's okay to have them, to be that way. Maybe appreciate yourself with them. In that whatever preoccupies you, maybe at the root they exist because you're important, you're valuable, your well-being counts, your safety counts. Appreciating that something deep inside wants to keep you safe, wants to keep you well. And if you have some sense of that, to rest there, breathe there. Maybe that's one of the ways to appreciate yourself as you meditate.

If the mind wanders off in thought, appreciate yourself as you notice that that's the case. When you wake up to the fact you're thinking, with appreciation or with delight, begin again with the breathing, with the body, with present moment awareness.

In the last minutes of the meditation time, see if you can rest or abide in a relaxed self-appreciation. An appreciation which takes very little effort. From which you recognize that non-appreciation takes more effort, more stress. Relax, allow for an appreciation of yourself, or appreciation for this expression of life that exists here in you, with you, in this body.

And then to end this sitting, dedicating our practice for the welfare of others^[1]. I would propose that the less we appreciate ourselves, the less we're able to dedicate for the welfare of others. The more we appreciate here this life within us, this heart within us, this being we are, the more we have to offer others. The more appreciation, the fuller, the stronger, the more understanding, more resonating is our appreciation of others.

And finding a way to always appreciate, always meet others with goodwill, so that our wish for the welfare and happiness of everyone can be that way for everyone, no one excluded. May all beings be appreciated. May all beings be respected. May all beings be free of our judgments, hostility, and prejudice. May all beings know that they are cared for. May all beings be happy, safe, peaceful, and free. And may our capacity to appreciate others support this as a possibility.

Thank you.

Dharmette: Joy of Compassion (3 of 5) Joy of Appreciation

Continuing with the third talk on the joy of compassion^[2]. Perhaps it's the easiest to understand this third kind of joy related to compassion, and that is the joy of appreciation^[3].

When we appreciate others, when we appreciate anything, ourselves included, appreciation has a positive feeling to it. It's an uplifting feeling, it's an opening feeling, it's a delightful feeling. The delight of appreciation, the delight of saying, "Oh, this is good, this is valuable, this is something I care for, this is something that is important, this is something that is well done, and this is something I celebrate." This idea of appreciation usually comes with a positive disposition, a positive feeling, and so it may be easier to find the joy of compassion this way.

This means that it's actually important to practice appreciation or find how to appreciate others if we're going to be compassionate. I think it's easy enough to feel obligated to be compassionate. To feel the suffering of the world or suffering of others, and we are buffeted by it, oppressed by it, or contracted or tense because of it. We feel like, "I have to do something, I have to be compassionate." And so one way or the other, there's a headlong movement into compassion, into doing compassion, doing what seems like the right thing to do, doing the helpful thing. But we want to be heart-long, moving in with a heart. We want to ideally take time so that we're not doing compassion out of obligation. We're not doing it as a "should" that we have to now deal with things.

We certainly want to act compassionately in the world. But let that compassion be a flowering of what's wonderful within us, a flowering of something which is medicine for the world. The world does not need more people who feel the weight and the heaviness of obligation and responsibility and a headlong attack on the causes of people's suffering. The world needs us to address the suffering, but to do it in a way that's medicine for the world, that supports it, that's healing for the world, and brings out the best in people.

And so appreciation, for me, is one of those qualities: to take the time to appreciate. Of course, sometimes it's hard to appreciate others. So in the same category as appreciation, I think is respect. To respect everyone, to respect their autonomy, their dignity, their value, to respect their potential. Even if we disagree with someone, even if we feel like what they're doing is wrong, we never want to condemn people, we never want to have hostility towards anyone. Rather, we want to have respect. With respect or with appreciation, to say, "You know, I appreciate you, I care about you, but no, you cannot do this, this is not right." The person clearly feels that we're not condemning them, we're not closing them down, we're not judging all of who they are, as if they're now a bad person or a wrong person always.

If you can't find appreciation, maybe we could come to find a place of respect. That relates to ourselves as well. If we can't find appreciation for ourselves, can we at least respect ourselves? Respect our basic human dignity, basic human value, autonomy. There are professions in the world where the fundamental ethical attitude that people are supposed to have—like doctors, nurses, and medical folks—is to always have respect for the dignity and respect for the autonomy of the people they are supporting. They might not love them, but they still have that respect.

And so, appreciation, respect, taking the time for that. Sometimes that's all that's needed is a little bit of time. I've been struck many times by how easy it is to rush through the supermarket line where the clerk is there and not really take time to take in the clerk. But then at other times where I take my time, and the extra second or two to look the checkout clerk in the eye or appreciate them, or ask a simple question—"How are you?" or some little comment that makes a human connection—there can be a spark of familiarity or recognition of something really nice that happens. It doesn't come with any requirements, meaning or implying anything else than just a recognition of our kindness or appreciation.

Many people are not appreciated enough in our society. So one way to cultivate great appreciation for others is actually to take the time to appreciate folks. Say, "Thank you, that was well done," or "That was helpful," or "That was wonderful, thank you." Find ways to appreciate people and say it. Find out what goes on inside of you that resists the expression of appreciation. I know for me, sometimes it's been embarrassment. Sometimes it's been, "Well, if I appreciate them, they're going to want more from me and I'm opening up myself to be taken advantage of," or "It'll seem Pollyannaish" or something.

But learning to find a way, in a healthy, appropriate way, to appreciate people is important because a lot of people are underappreciated for who they are. I think there's a huge starvation of appreciation in many corners of our world. So to offer appreciation helps to oil the gears of appreciation inside of ourselves. What I found is that as I've appreciated people more, it seems to be natural to appreciate myself. Not that I'm trying extra to do it, but just there's more space to do it, less being caught up in the negativity of life, in the aversion to how things are. Appreciation is a beautiful thing.

But it takes time. I'd like to propose that healthy compassion takes time. Slow down, wait before you act compassionately, and see if you can have a little heightened awareness, a little heightened attunement, and a heightened appreciation. In doing that, finding the joy, the light, the positivity, the lightness, the ease, the openness. It's a beautiful thing to be compassionate. It's wonderful to find that wonderfulness, it's wonderful to find that beauty, that sweetness. It's medicine for the world, it's medicine for ourselves.

Today, if you'd like to experiment or stretch yourself in this regard, see if there are simple ways—and underscore the word simple, because it can get complicated if the appreciation is really big—but in simple ways, appreciate the people around you. Appreciate strangers, appreciate people who are helping you in stores or places of work or anything. Offer appreciation and see what happens to you as you appreciate others. Learn about yourself as you appreciate.

Thank you. I certainly appreciate that all of you are here, that you're listening, you're engaged in this practice, and that in certain ways we all support each other to show up here for these teachings and be together. I feel like it's a wonderful thing, and it's been one of the bright lights of the pandemic as we went through it, and now we continue. It's just a wonderful thing. So thank you, and I look forward to tomorrow.