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Guided Meditation: Yes

A warm hello from Redwood City, here at the Insight Meditation Center. The imagination is wonderful, thinking of so many of you spread out across the continent and the globe, getting ready for this meditation. It is a gathering together of a community of meditators, as much as gathering together our bodies and minds to be here and now, in the company of others meditating. I think it's important to appreciate that, one way or the other, we don't meditate alone; we're finding our way as a community, as a society, in all kinds of ways that this exists.

Earlier this week, someone had been offering these single words that might be interesting to keep in reserve for your practice, both on the cushion and in daily life. I started off with the word now. It can be a powerful word if it helps place you in the present moment in a way that is supportive, helpful, and attentive to what's here.

Tuesday was the word here. Wednesday was the word yes. It's a positive word, and being able to associate the practice of mindfulness with this positivity of yes sometimes really helps us to settle in here. Today, I'd like to introduce the word no.

It may not be a popular word, but it can be a very wise word—not said with aversion or hostility of any kind, nor as a careless dismissal. If we're in meditation, we can say no to habits of mind that we know all too well don't serve us, are not helpful, and are to our detriment. Or we say no gently and kindly, in the sense of "not now, this is not the time" to trains of thought that are beside the point of what we're doing. When we are doing this precious work of settling in here to develop clear presence in the present moment, we can say no. It is the clarity of no. It's different from the positivity of yes. Yes is a kind of opening and allowing, but with no, there's a clarity to it: "Not this. No."

There are all kinds of underlying beliefs and assumptions that go along underneath the way we operate, think, and act, and that motivate us. One of those is all kinds of ideations of "me, myself, and mine"—ideas of self. "I need to do this, I need to do that." Desires and beliefs are important, and they all have value, but when we meditate, sometimes it's appropriate to gently, lovingly say, "No, this is not the time. No. Not this. This is not what to get caught in. This is not what to get concerned with. Not this."

Sometimes when something occurs in meditation and we start focusing on it, it's not present-moment awareness we bring to it, but rather it begins to be retrospective thinking, analysis, and discussing it with ourselves. Then we lose the thread of the present moment. So, just no. If you'd like, in this meditation today, you might experiment with a clear statement of just no to certain things that take you away from the present moment, things that get you entangled, and habits of mind which are not useful.

The mind is sometimes like a two-year-old child that is going to push against the boundaries and limits to find out where it's safe and where the boundaries are. Sometimes a clear no to a two-year-old will actually settle them, because now they know where safety is, they know what's allowed, and there's a kind of clarity there. Sometimes the mind, too, needs to hear the no. It needs to hear, "Not this."

That is my suggestion for today. Please take a meditation posture that is suitable for you. It could be many different types. I like to think that the principle of a posture is one that is comfortable for a period of time, but also alert—one that promotes alertness. Of course, much of the alertness is coming from the mind, so almost any posture might work.

Soften the gaze of your eyes. If you're looking at your monitor as I speak, you might continue, but just soften the gaze. Make it maybe even slightly out of focus, if that's a relaxing thing to do. Then perhaps point your gaze down 45 degrees towards the floor, imagining that you're looking at a mountain far in the distance. Just relax and soften the gaze, letting the eyes rest in their sockets. If it's comfortable for you, you can also close your eyes.

Gently and carefully take a few long, slow, deep breaths. As you exhale, relax and settle into this body. Relax and settle into where you feel some stability, safety, or well-being in your being, in your body, and in your heart.

Let your breathing return to normal. For the next three breaths, relax your body, face, shoulders, and belly. Then, for the next three breaths, if it's possible, relax the mind, calming your thinking, releasing any pressure or tension to think. Settle into the body's experience of breathing.

Imagine the rhythm of breathing in and breathing out is like gentle waves on the ocean, upon which you are gently floating up and down. You are lifted on the inhale and gently lowered on the exhale. Feel these rhythms of breathing in and breathing out, as if it is a rhythm that can allow you to relax, feel comforted, and feel safe.

Settle into your breathing. If there's anything that takes you away from your breathing—thoughts, or maybe even feelings—if it seems appropriate, you can gently and clearly say, "No. Not that. No," and continue with your breathing. But if saying no doesn't make it go away or stop, then maybe make it the object of mindfulness. It isn't so much that you're saying no to whatever is happening; you're saying no to your involvement with it, your concern with it, so that your concern can remain on your breathing—the rhythm of breathing in and breathing out.

If you are thinking more than you're meditating, say no to thinking. Remind your mind: "Not now. No." And always, when you need to, begin again with your meditation.

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As we come to the end of the sitting, take a few moments to see if there are any ways that you have benefited from this practice. Even if you were restless or it was challenging, are there ways that you are a little bit more attentive or connected to yourself? Are you a little calmer than you were before? Did you learn something about the value of no that might help you better say yes to mindfulness and being present? There is a no that says no to what takes us away from our own goodness, our own well-being, and our own care and goodwill.

At the end of the meditation, reflect a little bit on how we might have benefited. Or, perhaps have confidence that even if we don't see the direct benefits, there are unknown benefits from doing this practice. Whether the benefits are known or unknown, in the last minutes of the meditation, dedicate them to the welfare and happiness of others. Imagine that they spread from you out into the world, through direct and indirect channels of contact with others. May the benefit of this meditation practice spread out across the lands and seas to touch all beings, so they benefit as well.

May the people in Afghanistan benefit from our meditation, perhaps by increasing our capacity to care and be inspired to improve the lives of the people there. May it also reach the people we can support and help much closer to home. May our care extend to the people of Haiti, who are experiencing so many struggles. May the people who feel forgotten by the rest of the world not be forgotten by us. May we care for them, and may they receive the benefits of our practice.

For places in the world where COVID is rampant—still difficult in India, Indonesia, Thailand, and many other places—may they be held in our sphere of goodwill. We wish that our practice benefits them as well. And looking more locally, to here in California, to the many people who have been impacted by all the fires here, losing their homes and their communities.

May it be that our practice here is for the welfare and happiness of all beings, including ourselves, and as we benefit, may it benefit others. May all beings be happy. May all beings be safe. May all beings be peaceful. And may all beings everywhere be free.

Dharmette: Faith (4 of 5) Confidence in Non-Clinging

Today is the fourth talk on faith. The word saddhā^[1] in Pali is sometimes translated into English as "confidence." One of the reasons for this is that a primary purpose of this saddhā, this faith, is to have the confidence to engage in practice—the confidence that engaging in practice makes a difference.

Many times in the teachings of the Buddha, it's clear that when someone learns the Dharma well enough to have faith, the purpose of that faith is so they begin their practice. It's not faith in some belief or something you're supposed to carry with you and then apply to your life as a mere idea. Rather, it's a confidence that there is something worthwhile to do. It's worthwhile to practice, worthwhile to be mindful, to develop our mettā^[2], compassion, equanimity, or our clear seeing of what's happening here—all kinds of things, including the practice of generosity.

As practice develops and we begin having some real feeling for what this practice is about, a particular kind of confidence can arise. For people who haven't experienced it fully yet, it might seem foreign, uninteresting, bland, or not really that important because it is the absence of something. How can the absence of something be something to be confident in? This confidence is in the absence of clinging, the absence of grasping, or the absence of attachment (when attachment means clinging or grasping). It is to have confidence in non-clinging.

It can be very helpful to understand this. At some point, it's not always so clear what to have confidence in. We might have all kinds of questions and challenges. But at a minimum, we can have clear confidence that it's not worthwhile to get attached, to cling, or to grasp onto things. We can have that clear experience—not just because it's a belief.

For people who don't have the experience of non-clinging, there can be all kinds of protests about why clinging, grasping, and attachment are useful and important. But if you have the experience of non-clinging, you then have a clear reference point for watching and feeling how clinging, when it comes back in, is to our detriment. We feel how grasping, as it begins working up, is actually a diminishment of ourselves. It limits us and interferes with the best qualities of who we are coming forth into the world.

At some point, we start experiencing the benefits of non-clinging and how wonderful it is. Maybe the confidence isn't completely strong about it yet. Then, practice has a little bit to do with questioning and debating: How important is it to not cling? Is it okay to not cling? Maybe you're supposed to cling? Maybe in these kinds of areas, we have to be allowed to grasp or get attached? What about here, and here?

There starts to be a natural questioning, a debate, an exploration about where it fits. Is it really valuable to not cling? Rather than struggle and think that it's wrong to have this debate or this question, I believe that at some point this becomes a healthy part of the practice. Questioning, debating, taking both sides, playing devil's advocate, looking at it deeply, and seeing for yourself. If you find a really good reason why you need to grasp—if it's for your betterment and the betterment of others—there's no one to stop you. But if you are really mindful, carefully attentive, and genuinely experience the peace, well-being, and benefits of non-clinging, you might start having confidence in non-clinging. You begin to have faith in it, to trust it.

So then, this faith, this saddhā, is not a belief system. It's not just something you've been told is a good idea. Instead, it becomes a very important reference point for our lives. We could say this reference point is peace; we could say it's a sense of happiness or freedom. But to call it that kind of takes the focus away from what brought it. What brings that peace, happiness, and well-being in a very deep way is the non-grasping, the non-attachment, the non-clinging.

By keeping an eye on non-clinging, you place yourself right at the juncture where the real work exists. Very few people become totally free and totally peaceful once and for all. Most people have a taste of it, and then they get caught up again. Remembering to have confidence in non-clinging puts you at that juncture where the practice really has great value. That's where the work is. It isn't just that you have to let go; rather, the confidence in non-clinging allows you to look at clinging in a deeper and deeper way, to really be present for it, and to realize this is important.

If the emphasis is solely on freedom, peace, or happiness, then when we lose it, we try to get it back, but perhaps we don't quite know what to do or where the focus should be. However, if the focus is only on non-clinging, and we only think about that, we might not appreciate all the wonderful benefits that come from it. Ideally, we are looking at and aware of both.

For someone who is just beginning to practice, the benefits of non-clinging and the well-being that comes from it are right there at the beginning. I don't want to diminish the value of it, but it might appear in small, ordinary, mundane ways. Just letting the shoulders relax a little bit is a letting go, and a sense of well-being comes with that. There's a little bit more calm in the mind. As practice gets deeper and fuller, the value and experience of non-clinging become richer and richer.

At some point, the confidence becomes phenomenally strong. We realize that there's nothing worthwhile losing our non-clinging for—that all the things we need to do and take care of in this world, we can take care of better with non-clinging. It's a difficult place to have confidence in because, many times, the world—family, friends, people in society—expects us to get anxious, get caught up, or participate in the attachments they are involved in. They want us to show that we care by being afraid, anxious, angry, or upset.

It is hard when the people around us expect us to behave in ways that call back our clinging. To truly discover strong confidence in non-clinging and not succumb to social pressures is not easy. That's where the debates, explorations, and deeper looking become necessary. But keep coming back. I think one way to understand the path of Buddhist practice is that it is a path to a greater and greater appreciation of non-clinging, and greater confidence in it. In doing so, we discover what follows in the wake of that: a tremendous sense of well-being, freedom, happiness, peace, and clarity. There are many words for what follows in the wake of non-clinging.

We don't want to latch on or cling to any of that, either. By keeping the focus on non-clinging, we avoid clinging to what is wonderful. Non-clinging opens the door to what is wonderful, and if you stay close to non-clinging, you won't cling to that wonderfulness. May it be that you share your wonderfulness, your goodness, and your non-clinging with others, in such a way that you are being generous, supportive, and helpful. Make it really clear to yourself that this practice you're doing is not just for yourself, but it is also for the welfare of others. Confidence in non-clinging.

Thank you.

Announcements

I have a couple of announcements. The first one is, in the wake of what I just said, I've been very moved by the crises in the world right now. The one that's closest to my heart at the moment is what's going on in Haiti, a neighbor to the North American continent. Often, as I said earlier, it is a kind of forgotten country with tremendous poverty, sitting so close to a country that has tremendous wealth. I wondered if our YouTube community could band together in goodness and generosity. Here is an opportunity to take our practice and benefit the world by raising funds for the people of Haiti.

There's an organization called Partners In Health that does a lot of on-the-ground work with local healthcare workers, bringing supplies, medicine, and medical workers to partner with them. They work with local communities very intimately, so they're really in harmony with what's going on. I'd like to propose something: you could certainly make a donation directly, but for tomorrow (Friday) and maybe Sunday also, for the wider IMC community, any donation you make to IMC through the online button—I think the link is on the YouTube page—IMC will turn around all of it and give it to Partners In Health. That would be lovely if we could come together like that. I'll announce it again tomorrow.

The other announcement is that tomorrow, after our little Dharmette, I'll provide a Zoom link so we can have a community meeting for those of you who can join. We'll just check in, and you can ask me questions about the teachings I've been doing. We'll also do a little breakout group session so you have a chance to meet each other, as many of you are only seeing each other's names and greetings in the chat. We'll meet for about 45 minutes or so. The Zoom link will be in the chat, but I'll also put it in a few other places, including on the IMC calendar for tomorrow's event, and on the 'What's New' section of the IMC homepage. It's possible that it will be password protected, and if it is, the password will be mettā (m-e-t-t-a).

I'll see you all tomorrow. Thank you.