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Happy Hour: Metta in Light of Mortality

Introduction

Hello and welcome to Happy Hour, to this rendition of Happy Hour wherever you're joining. We are indeed international, from so many time zones around the world.

For today's practice, I'd like to share a quote that I saw earlier today that moved me and inspired me, and I'd like to share that with you. This quote is from Francis of Assisi^[1], and he says: "Remember that when you leave this earth, you can take with you nothing that you have received, only what you have given: a full heart, enriched by honest service, love, sacrifice, and courage." Let me read it one more time. We'll use this as the basis of our practice today. "Remember that when you leave this earth, you can take with you nothing that you have received." Nothing that you have received. It's quite profound. "Nothing that you have received, only what you have given: a full heart, enriched by honest service, love, sacrifice, and courage."

This quote has moved me so much, and it also stopped me in my tracks today. As many of you know, I love teaching and practicing mindfulness of death, and this practice of mindfulness of our mortality—realizing that we are going to die. We're all going to die. Everything is impermanent, but especially our life is impermanent. And as we stop through our day, as we stop in moments and realize we are going to die, and everything that we are concerned about getting in life—as Francis of Assisi beautifully says, we take nothing. We take nothing that we have received.

The only thing that we take is what we have given. And really, what we give is a heart that's enriched by service, by love, sacrifice, and courage.

[Zoom-bomber interruption] Let's see. Oh, yeah, we have the Zoom-bomber. Okay, we are going to remove this person there. Okay, all right. Well, thank you for the heads-up, Neil, I appreciate that.

All right, back to where we were. Realizing that it's only what we give, and what we cultivate is a heart full of love. So that is the inspiration for our practice tonight: cultivating generosity, cultivating a heart that gives.

In our practice tonight, what I would like to invite you to do is, after getting settled in our bodies with silence and spaciousness, to bring in the contemplation of our impermanence. From that perspective, what we give is this feeling of love, this feeling of generosity of our hearts. We are giving to cultivate that. So that is our practice, that's the invitation.

Guided Meditation

So let us begin our practice. Landing in our bodies. Landing in our bodies. Landing. In our feet contacting the earth. Our sit bones contacting the cushion, the chair. Our hands contacting each other.

Landing, arriving, and letting go of whatever has come before. Letting go of whatever has come before: the thoughts, planning. And arriving, arriving in this moment. Arriving right in this moment. Arriving in this body, in this moment.

Allowing the breath to be received. Allowing the breath to be received in the lower abdomen. Allowing the breath to be received.

So now I'd like to invite you, if you would, to release, to let go some more. To release and let go. Have any contractions, worries, concerns—just this moment. And you know, you can't always bring them back after this practice period, but for now, what if you released, just simply released?

The same way that we would release all that we have received. At some point in our lives, we will release everything that we have been given. Everything we have received, we will release. The only thing we "take with us" is what we have given. These are wholesome karma^[2], our good actions, our good deeds, our kindness, our love. The way we have lived, that's all we take. It's all that travels with us. The way we are remembered in the hearts of people we have touched.

From this perspective, we are here, we are alive, we have this gift of life, and this opportunity to give love, to give care. And the practice of cultivating loving-kindness, cultivating mettā^[3]—inclining our heart, inclining our mind to give love, to give kindness. Both in action and in the actions of the mind (what we think), actions of speech (the way we speak), and actions of the body (the way we act in the world).

From this place of release, of generosity, of cultivating giving... bring to mind, bring to heart, people you care about. It could be just one or two, it could be a group, whatever works for you. Maybe start small. As if you were giving gifts, you're giving away love with generosity. I wish you well. May you be safe. May you be happy. May you be healthy. May your life unfold with ease.

Noticing that this gift of care, love, friendliness, and warmth is also a gift to yourself. Notice if your nervous system relaxes, unwinds, resettles with this gift of kindness.

Bringing to mind, bringing to heart, beings or beings for whom mettā, loving-kindness, flows with ease for you.

May you be safe from inner and outer harm. Dear being, dear one, may you have safety. May you be happy and joyful. May you be healthy and strong. And may your life unfold with ease. May your life unfold with ease.

Tuning into how good it feels to be generous with kindness. Expanding our heart in giving. Giving love in an act of service.

Offering kindness, care, good wishes, goodwill. It could be one or two, or maybe a circle of beings. May you all be well. May you have well-being. I care for you. I wish to live my life with kindness, generosity, care. This is the biggest gift I take.

Expanding the circle of kindness, goodwill to include more people, more beings. Maybe all beings. May all beings be safe from inner and outer harm, especially the harm they cause themselves. Sharing goodwill. May all beings be happy, have joy. May all beings be healthy in their body, enjoy good health. Expanding our heart, the capacity to wish well and being generous. May all beings have ease, take care of themselves happily.

As we expand our kindness, goodwill, as we rest, as we relax, release our heart, our body into generosity, kindness, let us extend our goodwill also to those beings—being or beings—who are Zoom-bombers in our Zoom room tonight. Persons who are hurting so much they don't know any better than to disturb, disrupt, act out, creating unwholesome karma, disturbing others. May they be well. May they know goodness and well-being.

May they be safe from inner harm and outer harm. May they be free from pain and sorrow. May they not hurt—hurt people hurt people. May they not hurt. May they be graced with love internally and externally. May they be free. Free from enmity, free from ill will. Free from pains.

May all beings everywhere have goodness. May their hearts be at peace. May they feel loved. May they give love freely. May we model what we wish the world to reflect.

May all beings, including myself, this being who is me—may I have a loving heart. May I be free from enmity, ill will. May I be safe from inner and outer harm. May my heart be expansive, generous. Knowing that nothing I receive, nothing that I receive I will take with me when I die, which is inevitable, ungovernable. May the generosity of my heart be expansive. The gifts that I give, the cultivation of goodness. May it be the way I show up internally with my thoughts, externally with my words and actions. I offer myself care, love, forgiveness. As much as possible offered to myself and the whole world.

May all beings everywhere be well. May all beings be free, including ourselves.

Reflections and Q&A

Thank you, everyone. Thank you for your practice tonight, or this morning or afternoon, whatever your time zone might be. So, we have time for reflections, for comments, for questions. And before we begin, I want to thank and acknowledge Neil and Nav who offered support while we had these Zoom-bombers, to remove them, lock the room, and wish them well.

Bill says, "Wonderful session, thank you." Thank you, Bill. Thank you for being here and practicing.

So what came up for you? What would you like to share, if you would? As an invitation to offer whatever has come up as a gift to the sangha^[4], whatever was insightful, whatever was challenging—anything is welcome. Anything is welcome in this session.

Deborah says, "I learned from your example. Thank you, Deborah."

Neil says, "It was lovely the way you offered compassion to the Zoom-bombers. It's so easy to be irritated by annoying people. Thanks for being a beacon of compassion."

Thank you, Neil and Deborah. I mean, it really... as I was saying, it's hurt people hurt people. So, you know, someone or beings, if their entertainment is disturbing a meditation session, there must be so much pain. Just imagine how much pain there must be. And you know, we're irritated by them for a few minutes, right? But they live in that body, in that heart, in that mind. How painful it must be that that is your entertainment. It's so painful. So of course—how can compassion not arise? How can compassion not arise? May they be free. May they be well. May they be free from suffering.

The floor is open for any reflections. You're welcome to raise your hand, you're welcome to type in chat. Any reflections, anything is welcome. Let's see, I see Joe's hand is up, the Zoom hand. There you go, Joe, please.

Joe: So a couple of years ago I was in a day-long class, not a retreat, with Ajaan Geoff^[5], and I can't remember the context, but the subject came up of compassion for people who hurt other people. Traditionally they're called enemies, usually called difficult beings now. How can you have compassion for somebody like that who's hurting others? And he offered a mettā phrase that might be useful, which is, "May you find the causes of happiness and act on them." And you said you could wish that for anybody. It's very easy to wish for anybody, so I thought I'd throw that out. I do that, it's part of my mettā practice now.

Nikki: Beautiful, beautiful. Thank you for sharing that, Joe. Yeah, causes of happiness, exactly. And may I say that being happier is a cause of happiness for me and many people. So yes, yes, thank you.

And he says, "May we open our hearts with the offerings of our benefactors, to trust them and not be suspicious of their motives." Yes, indeed, indeed.

And we have appreciations coming on YouTube from Richard: "Challenging, much gratitude. Challenging due to busy mind but was able to settle into a bit of the tenderness and heart space offered here." And from Barbara: "After a busy day, appreciating wisdom and compassion in this space." And Susan: "Right view." And Emma: "Joining from Sydney after exercising, great good afternoon to you."

And I think I saw maybe Mima's physical hand earlier? Yeah, sometimes I do see physical hands here. Yes, there you are, Mima, please.

Mima: I was noticing that coming to this mettā practice with Happy Hour, with this sangha, I've noticed some internal changes within me. They're very subtle. I look for certain reactions that I used to have that I don't have anymore, and it's so much easier to feel compassion. It's almost like before it used to feel strange because I'm fairly new to the practice, but now I can notice it more and I can get really comfortable in it, and it's really sweet. It's a good experience, and I noticed, like, I've had a hard day today, but looking forward to coming to the practice, I just let everything go and feel full, like I'm being fed. And I so appreciate everyone. I appreciate you too, Nikki, thank you.

Nikki: Thank you. We are feeling so much appreciation for what you shared, your practice report and observation over time. This is so beautiful, thank you. Oh, and I saw hearts in the space and appreciations for what you shared. Sweet, Pepper says, "Vitamin Mettā." So cute.

Nav says, "I was moved by what you mentioned in the guided meditation on taking nothing with us when we die. It makes me wonder if the only thing we really take are these ideas and how far they might lead us."

Yes. And you know, for those who are open to the multi-life model or rebirth^[6], to the idea of rebirth, our wholesome karma follows us. The potentiality of our actions is what gets reborn into our next life. So really, that is what—not the self, but that's what follows us. So these ideas, these generosities, these services... yeah, thank you, Nav. It's something that I want to continue to sit with, being met with a sense of mortality contemplation.

And Deb is the last reflection before we go into groups. Please.

Deb: My thought is that the focus isn't about what we take with us as much as what we leave. Like, not the possessions that we leave, but all the good actions and generosity that we've practiced during our life. To me, I don't know, there's just a slight distinction because I'm not really sure we take anything with us, I think. But if we focus on what we leave, the intangibles that we leave behind, I don't know, it works better for me.

Nikki: Yeah, I appreciate that. And I think those are two different perspectives, yes. And again, what I'm gently bringing in is, for some people, they are open to this multi-life view and rebirth, and in that case, yes, it is what you kind of take with you. And for some, no, it's a sense of the one-life model, and you know, there's a sense of "don't know" mind. So both of those frames, let's be open to either or both. And if we feel challenged by one, ah, let's have a "don't know" mind about the other. Because what we leave, that's an easy one. I agree, of course, we can all sign up to that one, that's what we leave. And what we take? I know, it's like, "Yeah, do I think...? I don't know about that." Okay, cool, let's have a "don't know" mind about that, or not. It's all good.

Debra just says, "Happy to take it with me to the next life too." That's great.

So dear ones, we have come to the invitation for us to enter and practice in small groups together, size of three. Take care of yourselves, take care of each other, sharing as little or as much as you wish. And remember, you don't take anything—anything you have received you don't take with you. So I'm creating the rooms and we're ready and opening, and here we go. Take care of yourselves, take care of each other.

[Break for small group discussions]

Okay, welcome back everyone. We have just about one minute, so I'd like to invite burning comments, especially if you haven't spoken tonight or for a while. You can raise your hand. It's best if it's your Zoom hand because a physical hand I'm not going to see.

Going once. Any last-minute reflections, nuggets?

Okay, well, we're going to end with a reflection from Maria M on YouTube. She says, "The quote 'what we take with us' will stay with me this week, a pivot point for me."

So that'll be the last word: what do we take with us or leave? So thank you all. Thank you for coming, practicing together, cultivating kindness, generosity. Ah, what a gift, what a gift we give each other to practice in this way. Thank you. May you all be well, safe, and cultivate gifts to yourself, to others, that you take or leave. Thank you all.