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Happy Hour: Metta for Collaborators

Hello and welcome to this edition of Happy Hour, practicing metta^[1] and the brahmaviharas^[2] together.

For our practice today, I'd like to invite us to bring to our minds and hearts metta for our collaborators. Our collaborators past, present, and future. Our co-creators—people or beings with whom we have collaborated in the past on personal projects, work projects, or volunteer work. None of us is an island, and the work that we dedicate ourselves to, whatever it might be, is always a collaboration, the co-creation of some kind. Sometimes it's more apparent and easily noted that it is supported by the work of others. Sometimes it's a brainstorm and working together, creating.

One reason why it's helpful and important to practice in this way is that with the practice of metta (kindness, goodwill), we do this practice in concentric circles, as you know. We start with ourselves and go to benefactors, friends, neutral beings, and then to those we have difficulty with, and finally all beings.

When we get to the "all beings" category, one way that traditionally "all beings" practice is taught is to divide it into lots of different categories. If you just think of all beings, in a way the mind kind of goes a little numb. It's hard to imagine all beings. We divide it into lots of different categories of beings that are like this, or beings that are like that, just so that the mind can grasp it, so that there's a sense of relatability.

One way to think of this practice as I'm introducing it tonight—to consider people we've collaborated with, will collaborate with, or just collaborators as a category—is both as a unique category we usually don't think about, so that we can connect with them, and also because it's a category that is spread over some of the other categories. Amongst the collaborators could be people who are our benefactors. What we contribute to the world really depends on their work, their goodness, and their gifts to us. Some of them might be dear friends. Some of them might be in the category of neutral—we don't quite know them yet, maybe we were just thrown into a project to work together in the past, present, or future. Some of them might be in the category of those we have challenges with: that wonderful category of people who are our best teachers in really seeing the areas of entanglement in our heart.

This category has a lot going for it. Right now you may not be working—you might be retired—but I trust you've had collaborators in your past, either at work or in family groups. Maybe you've hosted a party together or a reunion, and you've had collaborators, just people you have co-created with. We're not an island. In this way, humility comes in. We don't do things on our own. So many causes and conditions and people support us, and we support them to co-create what is here in this world. It brings up a sense of humility to not just say "all me, me, me." We come together.

I hope I have convinced you that this is a juicy category that has a lot of implications. I invite you to be creative with it. Don't say, "Oh, I'm retired, am I working right now?" Just be creative with this. Who are your collaborators now? Who have they been in the past? Who knows what the future might bring? Have fun with this. See how you can fill in this category with all the gifts that it has, with humility and co-creation, seeing our parts and other people's parts. It has a lot going for it. There are a lot of good threads here.

Guided Meditation

I have set the topic up. Let's begin. Let's land. Let's settle.

Let's arrive in our bodies. As always, we start by landing and arriving in our body with our breath. Turning our awareness, inviting our awareness to turn to this body, to the breath.

All the parts of this body collaborating with each other. All the systems. Our lungs collaborating with the oxygen, collaborating with the blood carried through our body, collaborating with the heart, with the central nervous system in the brain, the muscles, the digestive system, the bones, the skin. Gosh, so many collaborations within this body alone. Appreciating all this orchestration, coordination, where we seemingly don't have to do anything about it. We are the beneficiary.

Receiving the breath in the abdomen. Settling, relaxing muscles with each out-breath.

First, I'd like to invite us, as we continue to stay embodied with this theme of collaboration, to bring to your heart this being who is you. As a partner, as a collaborator in your projects, in your life. This collaborator who is you sometimes is a benefactor. Supports you, loves you, is caring, is generous, supportive. Sometimes they show up as a dear friend, as a good friend. Patient, appreciating your good qualities as you appreciate theirs, what they bring to this collaboration.

Sometimes you show up for yourself as the person you're having challenges with. Having patience: "Gosh, why couldn't this person do it better as part of this project?" Have some humor about this invitation I'm bringing in, seeing all the ways in which we are our own collaborators, and how these categories show up for us.

See if you can appreciate all these different ways that you show up for yourself, this collaboration that is your life, your projects, your work. The sense of humor, appreciating the gifts, the goodness, the talents. The idiosyncrasies, the challenges, the shortcomings, with humor, with warm-heartedness. See if there can be some tenderness towards these variations, especially towards the collaborator you're having challenges with now. They're doing the best they can.

May you be safe. May I be safe from inner and outer harm. Wishing for all these versions of yourself: May I be safe. To all these versions I offer myself psychological safety. Benefactor, dear friend, maybe even neutral sometimes, and especially to the version I sometimes have challenges with, to the self I sometimes have challenges with: May I be safe. For myself, may I be safe to myself.

Offering safety. I offer safety to all the ways I show up for myself. It's okay. Doing the best I'm able to, given all the causes and conditions of my birth, my genetics, my upbringing. All these collaborators, different versions of me.

May I be happy. May I be healthy. And may I have ease. May I meet the moments of my life as I co-create moments of my life, with ease. As much ease as possible.

May I be safe from myself, for myself, from inner and outer harm. May I be happy and joyful as I co-create my life. May I co-create it with joy as much as possible. May I be healthy. May this body have the ease of well-being and health. May my life unfold with ease. May I co-create my perception, ways of being, ways of seeing that meet the conditions of life. May I co-create my life. May I meet moments with as much ease as possible.

Now I'd like to invite you, if you would, to bring to your heart some collaborators. People you're collaborating with now—work, volunteering, family. People you have collaborated with in the past. Letting there be open-hearted appreciation for the gifts, for the goodness, the talents, for the challenges. For the streams of our energy coming together to co-create something bigger than ourselves, than each of us individually.

Appreciating with metta and care and warmth: Thank you. May you be well. I wish you goodness. I wish you ease. May you be safe. May you be happy. May you have health. May you have ease in your life.

You can consider each individual one at a time, wishing metta to them one at a time, or as a group. All of you, all of us collaborators. See what works best for you in this moment, what's needed. It could be with the phrases of metta as you wish them safety, happiness, health, and ease, or without. Make sure you include yourself in the metta, goodwill, good wishes, appreciation.

May all of us collaborating, co-creating together for something greater than each of us alone could bring to this world, offer this world—may all of us be safe. Have a happy heart of health and well-being. Have ease.

Appreciating that the sum of all of our efforts, talents, devotions, including challenges, is bigger than each of us alone. Appreciation, gratitude, loving-kindness for the grace of this co-creation, collaboration, being bigger than me. For each person's talents and gifts, their values, their goodness, the complexity of their lives. They have just as rich an inner life and world as I do. Wishing us all well, present or past.

If you start to think about the project or people, come back. Come back to the breath, to the body, and just to the sense of goodwill.

Acknowledging that your collaboration with these collaborators is impermanent. It has arisen and it will come to an end at some point, if it already hasn't. It's all impermanent. What is more important to you in collaboration, if it's ongoing right now? Fostering goodwill, care, generosity, service.

May all beings everywhere be free. Thank you all. Thank you for your practice.

Reflections

I've just changed the settings, so you're welcome to share your reflections, questions, comments, and observations. What did you notice? What was it like for you? What did you discover?

Barbara: As I was thinking over a lifetime, a career of working in different ways with different people, there are so many collaborators. I must say, now that I'm retired, my very best friends are former collaborators from different jobs decades ago. The bonds formed by someone who's really a good collaborator are just worth their weight in gold.

Nikki: That's a beautiful reflection. So many friendships have come from deep engagement together. Thank you for sharing that.

Abraham: Two thoughts. One was that, maybe because I'm a very opinionated human being, there's a lot of collaborators that I have in my life that we didn't necessarily call ourselves collaborators—more like competitive. But that's the whetstone that sharpens the knife. The people that you rub up against really hard, they teach you so much. The other thing, because I have such a lifetime of people, it was just flooding me at times. As I was doing metta for this one, it would trigger me to go here and trigger me to go there. It was quite a flow of ideas, so I'm just interested in how that happened for other people.

Nikki: Thanks for that share. For me, what called to me most today was to have metta for one project that I'm currently working on with some collaborators. They just lit up. I appreciated their contribution, their goodwill, their talents, their skills, and just taking their perspective was so heart-opening. It brought in more humility and appreciation for their roles. All of us together, the streams coming together, so much bigger than any of us alone. That's the way it showed up for me.

Neil: I found myself thinking about the people who come and pick up my trash. That's not a direct collaboration perhaps, but gosh, they sure make my life easier. And who made the truck that they pick it up in? I found myself thinking about lots of people, and who made the discoveries. It went far back in time and wide across lots of areas. Certainly my parents, who gave me their DNA. Even if that was the end of their goodness, that was a pretty big collaboration to make Neil happen. There were just so many people who seemed involved, like the people who keep the lights on.

Nikki: Thank you, Neil. I'm just delighted hearing the way it showed up for you—the uncountably many collaborators through your life. It makes me happy to hear the variety, the way it showed up for Abraham, and for me, and for you. It's all good, whatever is needed, whatever the heart is calling for. There's no right way to practice this; these are just invitations.

[The group breaks into small breakout rooms for discussion]

Welcome back everyone. As you're coming out of rooms, I heard folks say "deep bows and hugs." That just warmed my heart. What did you discover with this practice? Sharing your insights, your wisdom, your questions, your confusion for the benefit of all beings.

Lisa: I had a class that I've been in for four months, and today was the last day. It was such a wonderfully supportive group with the teachers and other students—definitely a collaboration. I was feeling really sad about the impermanence. Then, hearing my two groupmates talk about other phases of the journey—where they are in the process of starting a collaboration and what comes up with that, or being past one years later and reflecting back—helped me remember and not be so stuck and focused on the ending. Dovetailing with the impermanence reminded me of the fuller cycle.

Nikki: Thank you for sharing that. I love the juxtaposition of appreciation and the sadness for this ending. Yes, it is impermanent, and there is a cycle to all of that.

Katie: It's my first time in the sangha^[3], and I'm very thankful to be here. I really reflected on all the collaborations I've had throughout my life, and the culmination is the advocacy that I have now. The past year or half year, I've just been in spaces where the people around me couldn't be more perfect, supporting each other and supporting the same cause for a more peaceful, loving world. It's all in these intimate and beautiful spaces.

Nikki: Beautiful, thank you so much for sharing. Just the synchronicity, and what a blessing good collaborations can be. There's so much appreciation and gratitude: Oh my goodness, all these collaborations. Wow, I'm so blessed. Gratitude for that arising. And here you are, you're new, and here's a new set of collaborators for you. Thank you and welcome.

We're at time, so let's bring it formally to an end. Thank you all for showing up. Thank you for your practice, for your collaboration, your co-creation in this sangha. May all beings be well. May all beings be happy.