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Happy Hour: Compassion + Mindfulness of the Breath = Tonglen Practice

So welcome. Hello and formally, welcome to Happy Hour, dear sangha^[1]. Lovely to see you, whether this is your first time, as for some of you here, yay, welcome. And if you're a regular Happy Hour participant, yay, welcome. Lovely to be with you and practice together in this moment in time.

So for our practice in this moment in time, whatever time zone you're in, I'd like to build on a practice we did on Wednesday. And if you think, "Oh wait, I wasn't here on Wednesday," don't worry, everything you need I'll share with you, no problem. And also to say this practice we've done before in other ways, I just want to relate to it in a different way. So let me set the context, as I always do in a few minutes, and then start the guided meditation.

The practice I'd like to invite us to explore is a merging, a combination of compassion, karuṇā^[2], the second brahmavihāra^[3], the second heavenly abode, together with mindfulness of the breath, also known as ānāpānasati^[4], if that term makes sense to you. So mindfulness of the breath and compassion combined.

And the reason why I'm saying it's building up on what we did on Wednesday is because Wednesday, for those of you who might remember, we explored mettā^[5], loving-kindness, and the breath, just the sense of the breath being very easeful. The mindfulness of the breath, the breath being infused with kindness, with ease, as if you were petting a kitty and it would start purring in the sense of calm and ease. And many of you observed about that, "Oh yeah, what a lovely combination of these two practices." Mettā, loving-kindness, in fact for ourselves, for our bodies, that's what we did on Wednesday together with the breath.

So related to that, today we'll explore compassion practice. Compassion when mettā, when kindness meets suffering, when challenges are held by love, kindness, care, and combining that together with the breath.

And today what we'll do is we can start with ourselves and then we'll turn it outwards. We'll turn it outwards to both have a sense of nourishment, of compassion for this being who's ourselves, as well as turning it outwards, compassion for the world as we breathe in and out. Especially because right now there's a lot of turmoil in our world and there are many beings who are suffering right now and in a war zone. So not to turn ourselves away or gaze away, but to sit with, to make space with compassion, with care, and stability. Stability not to fall into it, not to fall into grief and despair, but to hold, to witness, hold presence with compassion, with love, with care for what is happening in our world.

Okay, the last word I'm going to say about framing the practice tonight is compassion practice plus mindfulness of the breath is also what we have explored before in light of, some of you might remember, tonglen^[6], the practice of tonglen. And yes, in the later schools of Buddhism, not so much in Theravada, but in later schools, especially in Tibetan, it's a primary practice. And we've practiced that before, compassion and the breath, it's a beautiful practice, many of you have shared that it's been nourishing to you. So this is another way to enter into the same practice. I didn't mention tonglen at the beginning, I mentioned it at the end so that you realize, oh, there are other ways to get into this practice, ānāpānasati, mindfulness of the breath, plus compassion. All right, enough theory, let go of theory. Okay, I've set the frame, we can let it all go. Ah, let go of the thinking mind.

Guided Meditation

So now I'd like to invite you to sit, enter the sacred space of practice together, letting go of thoughts, letting go of words. If you need to move and shift so that you are comfortable, whether you're sitting in a chair, on a cushion, whether you're lying in the bed, it's all okay.

And arriving, first and foremost, we always arrive in the body, letting go of thoughts, of memories, of plans. Taking refuge: I am here, this moment of this precious life, here, now. Right here, right now, in this body. Releasing, relaxing.

Letting the animal of your body to just be. To just breathe. You don't have to be any particular way. You don't have to be impressive or great or grand or smart, nothing. Just ah, let go. Let go, release. Release, oh dear heart, dear heart. Release, it's okay. Your body, your heart, your mind can just be. Can just be breathed. In-breath and out-breath.

As the breath^[7] enters your body, for the purpose of this practice, can we imagine that it's entering, being breathed in and breathed out from the center of our chest, the heart center, proverbial heart center. And with each breath, ah, more kindness is breathed into the body. With each out-breath, we let go.

Maybe with each in-breath we become aware of the body, if there are any challenges, pain or tightness, and with the out-breath, ah, there is goodness, ease, love, care, breathed out unto these challenges, unto whatever is ailing us in this moment in our heart or mind. Practicing self-compassion with each breath.

And if challenging thoughts are arising, the in-breath noticing with brightness, "Oh, this is challenging, sweetheart, this is hard." With the out-breath flowing out of the heart center, ah, releasing, releasing, and breathing out goodness and ease onto yourself, onto the thoughts.

With every out-breath, releasing of goodness, care, love. With each in-breath, recognizing this moment, especially if there are challenges in the body, mind, and heart. And in the out-breath, letting the love, the care wash over the difficulties. Hence it becomes a practice of compassion. Challenge is met with care, with love, with warm-heartedness. It doesn't have to be any different in this moment, we can meet this moment with love, with care, with ease for ourselves.

Remember, if thoughts are arising, it's okay, you can release. We can release with kindness, with care, without judgment.

Turning the gaze inward, are there any areas of the body that are achy or tired or tense? The neck, shoulders, the usual areas. The jaw, the forehead. Eyes, maybe the lower back. As if you were breathing in, breathing in the challenges, collecting the challenges, the tightness, the pain of the body. They're being collected, they're being observed through your breath. Collect it in your heart center, where the breath is breathed in, transformed. Transformed into a healing light. And breathed out to the whole body.

Challenges, difficulty, breathed into the heart center. This amazing space of transformation, transfiguration. Challenges breathed in, transformed in the holy fire and the bright light. Ah, they become goodness, love, healing energy, and breathed out. Breathed out through the heart center, through the whole body, wherever is aching, tired, either literally achy or figuratively aching. Even if it's your heart that's aching right now, breathing in. Challenges breathed in... [unintelligible]^[8]. Thank goodness, ah, sukha^[9]. Healing light breathed out, ah, covering the whole body. Breathing in, breathing out.

Leaning into there, breathing out, releasing, releasing. Ah, the tail end of the breath. The tail end of the out-breath, release, relax, ease, goodness, healing here.

And this orb of light, this holy fire in the heart center, transforming, transformative. Transforming challenges, sorrow, pain, into goodness, into love. The path through love. Suffering as a path to love. This bright, bright healing light. The heart center is both yours and not yours, it transforms, it heals. Just holding witness with the breath, don't let it become effortful. Let ease be your guide.

If there have been any challenges today or right now arising, let them be breathed in. Let them be breathed into the heart center, transformed into healing light, and breathed out throughout the body.

The out-breath bringing healing, love, care, releasing, holding. As if wrapping this body in the blanket of mettā, love, compassion with the out-breath. There, there, sweetheart.

Now I'd like to invite us to expand our blanket. As Ryōkan^[10] says, respected Zen monk, "Oh, if only my monk's robes were wide enough to hold, to protect, to cover all the suffering beings in this entire world." Expanding our blanket.

As we have stability and care for ourselves, "May this being have ease, this being who is me. May she, he, they, me, may I have ease. May all beings everywhere have ease, be free from their sorrow."

And just as with the practice of our breath, challenges were being breathed into the heart center to this magnificent, beautiful, bright holy fire, transforming suffering into bright light of love and healing and goodwill. So too, challenges, difficulty, pain can be breathed in. It's not ours. This heart center is not ours. It is ours and not ours, it's bigger than ours, greater than who we imagine ourselves to be. Greater humanity, access to this amazing possibility of universal compassion.

This heart center of ours has to trust, to trust, just holding witness without tightening our body or our mind. Ah, challenges, difficulty, sorrows breathed in, and witnessing it be transformed. "Wow, I didn't know my heart could do this, wow." Transformed internally into love, goodwill, healing wishes for the entire world, and breathed out. Shared with the entire world.

May all those beings who are living without safety in war, may they have ease. With each breath I hold witness and share my goodwill, personal and universal goodness for you dear sisters and brothers, dear siblings in common humanity. May you have ease, may all of us have ease. Breathing in, breathing out. Breathing out kindness to the entire world.

And for the last moments of this practice period, letting your heart shine, letting it shine. Trusting in the goodness of our heart, the goodwill for ourselves and others. Don't get in the way, let it shine, it's empowering, it's powerful to just be humbled for a moment. Move aside, let your ego move aside and be humbled by the capacity to care. The capacity to love, capacity of goodwill beyond our imagination for ourselves and all beings everywhere. May all beings be free from sorrow and suffering. May they be safe, may they have well-being, may they be free.

Thank you so much for your practice everyone.

Reflections

So we have time for reflections. You can type them in chat if you wish. If you type them privately to me, I won't read your name. If you type them to everyone, I will read your reflection and your name. And if you'd like to raise your Zoom hand, you're also welcome to do so.

Bill says, "Warm and comforting. Thank you, Nikki." You are welcome, Bill.

Another reflection, this one private: "Nikki, your voice after a long day, so soft, so relaxing, zzzzzzzzzzzzzz." [Laughter] I'm putting you to sleep. You are so welcome. If that is what is needed, what is healing at this point, yeah.

So any reflections about the practice, about what you observed, what came up for you about this practice in particular, to support you, to support others? Lisa.

Lisa: Hi Nikki. I was just feeling like I woke up into the fact that it's Friday night and I'm here practicing and tending to compassion, and it's just, I'm just ecstatic about this. Like I'm with everyone, it's like, oh yeah, like this is how I'm spending my time, and I couldn't be happier about it. So it was like I felt like I just arrived in, yeah, I'm doing this. Like other people I know tonight in particular are doing other things, and I was feeling care for them and joy for them, but like, and I'm doing this! Yay, in your word, so thank you. Yay.

Nikki Mirghafori: Yay! Thank you, Lisa. Thank you for that reflection. I am so touched by that. Your realization of landing: I am here. You know, Friday night, quote unquote, has all these right associations, right, in the culture? Friday, and here this is what I'm doing. And I see hearts going off here, people are sharing, are loving your reflection, so beautiful. Here I am, actually gives me chills, here we are, here we are turning our hearts to compassion for ourselves, for the world, how beautiful, how profound. Wow. "Yay, I'm doing this in my precious time, in my precious life." Yay. Wow, thank you, Lisa. Thank you so much for that reflection, beautiful. Thank you.

Yay, yay. Another appreciation: "Thank you, this was very calming." Yeah. Another one: "Lovely inner healing meditation. Now I am better prepared to reach out and send healing energy to others." Oh lovely. Oh, that's beautiful. That touches me, yeah, it's lovely.

And Charlie sends a heart on YouTube. Thank you, Charles Lee. Good to be with you, practicing. Ah.

So dear ones, how about we turn now that perhaps we've had a few moments to be with ourselves, to open up and both hold each other and hold ourselves in community, the nourishing healing power of sangha. So healing. Yay, here we are. Yay, Friday evening or Friday morning, if you are in Australia or other time zones, uh, yay, uh, dear practitioners.

So with that, I'm going to invite us into small breakout groups for us to practice together, and we'll start with 15 seconds of silent mettā for each other, silent compassion for ourselves, for each other. And you're welcome to share as little or as much as you like about your practice or just hold witness. If you don't want to speak, it's okay, just compassionately hold witness. Just your presence is enough. Your presence is enough, no words needed, and stay to connect with each other, so precious. So I'm opening the rooms. Here we go. Take care of yourselves, take care of each other. Yes, period of practice. Here we go.

Okay everyone, welcome back, the rooms are closed. And we have just a couple of minutes for any reflections that might have come up as you engaged and held each other in community after practice, either about your practice in sangha with care and compassion, or any reflections about the meditation at the beginning. You can either type them in chat or raise your hand. Richard.

Richard: Can you hear me? Yes. Okay, well, I found myself sort of breathing in the pain from my loves and passions from my youth, you know, and sort of the unfinished element of those experiences. And what I found, you know, and I tried to just breathe out vanilla compassion, but what finally worked for me was, you know, bringing out the gratitude. You know, grateful that I had these experiences and that, um, you know, not everyone does, and um, and they were very, you know, deepening and transformative at the time.

Nikki Mirghafori: Beautiful. Beautiful, thank you for sharing that, Richard. And there are so many different flavors of the brahmavihāra, right, the heavenly abode. It doesn't always go where we want it to kind of go, it's like, yeah, mettā shapeshifts sometimes to compassion, sometimes to gratitude, sometimes to equanimity, sometimes to joy. So what you're actually describing is it's shapeshifting to joy, to vicarious joy for yourselves. Like wow, I'm grateful, I have joy that these things happened, even if they were challenging, which is surprising and lovely. Yeah, thank you, Richard.

Richard: Well, I'm a very lovely person, I know. [Laughter]

Nikki Mirghafori: Yeah, as we all are. Yeah, it's great.

Closing

So thank you. Thank you for your practice. Thank you so much for showing up, for practicing, for being together, supporting each other in community. May all beings everywhere, including ourselves, may all beings who are in challenging circumstances right now in places of war, may they have ease as much as possible. May they be safe. May all beings be happy. May all beings be free.

Thank you all. Take good care.