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Happy Hour: Metta as Strength, Giving and Receiving

The theme for tonight is mettā^[1], cultivating friendliness and kindness, starting with ourselves. As always, we'll start with some breath and body settling, tilling the soil with the body and the breath before we move gently to cultivating mettā.

The theme for tonight, the theme for mettā, is exploring friendliness, goodwill, and kindness, which has a sense of strength to it. Sometimes we may only associate friendliness, kindness, goodwill, and warmth with softness. Yes, it can be soft and gentle, and yet there can be a sense of profound strength, stability, and power. It is the same way that a lioness protects her cubs; the sense of love and care is fierce. It's a fierce heart, a fierce love that shows itself in a slightly different way.

My invitation for tonight is that we will explore not just the gentle aspect, but also this aspect of caring for ourselves from a place of deep care and strength, exploring what that feels like. What is the flavor of that as we explore it in our meditation? What does that feel like? Is it familiar? Is it unfamiliar? That is our exploration for tonight.

Reflections and Community Practice

I always like to ask at the end of a guided meditation practice period for you to check in and notice what's arising for you. The reason is that by taking stock, by realizing and becoming aware of what has shifted and what's present, one enables and empowers that shift. Especially if it's a wholesome one, to land more deeply in your body, in your mind, in your heart, and also neurologically.

So I invite you to check in: what's present right now? What's happening? You're welcome to unmute yourself and share or put it in chat.

I'll start. For me, there is a sense of love that's imbued with power and a sense of agency. There's a sense of love, potency, and power. So your turn. What's present? The chat is enabled to everyone if you wish, and you can also unmute yourself.

Rob, please. Yes, oops, I can't hear you. Oh, still can't hear you. Can anybody else hear him? It seems like something isn't working with the audio, Rob, so I might ask you to type it in. Sorry.

Bobby offers, "A feeling of light." Thank you, Bobby.

Austin: "Snow globe settled down." Lovely.

Lisa offers, "Feels like solidness and loving presence is really possible." Beautiful, thank you Lisa. "Feels like solidness and loving presence is really possible." That's lovely.

Rob, let's try you one more time. Can anybody else hear Rob? If nobody else can hear you, Rob, I think there's a problem with your audio.

Kim offers, "A vibrating, powerful love, like the sun." That's lovely. A vibrating, powerful love, like the sun.

Another offers, "Giving and receiving like waves softly ebbing and flowing." Beautiful. I appreciate all that's offered and put in the space.

Victor offers, "My puppy is calling me to take a nap." Silly puppy! Oh yes, the puppy of the mind. I don't know if it's your real puppy or the puppy of the mind. Yes, that's what they do! Be gentle, be kind, and sweet. Everything is welcome, by the way, even the puppy of your mind calling you to take a nap. It's all good, whatever is arising.

I appreciate everything that has been offered and put in this space.

In this moment in our practice period, we transition from practicing on our own to practicing in community. What's beautiful about this every single time we do it is how the rubber meets the road. After you have sat with this feeling that has been cultivated—the sense of holding yourself, being held, whole, giving and receiving, the sense of powerful mettā, or whatever came up for you—now you get to be in relationship with another couple of people.

We'll be in small groups of three. Each person will speak for just a couple of minutes, and the prompt is: "How are you? How is this practice?" There's no right or wrong. You can say, "I fell asleep," "I didn't follow it," "I loved it," or "I hated it." It doesn't matter what you say. What's really crucial in this practice is how you hold yourself: the sense of care, allowing yourself to be surprised, allowing whatever comes up to come up. Not wanting to sound smart, just accepting and loving yourself here. Being held in that way, and holding others with a sense of appreciation. They can do no wrong, and see if you can hold them with just a sense of mettā.

That's the crux of this practice: being held with mettā and holding others with mettā for a few minutes. See what comes up when you meet someone from some other place in the world. Engage in this way without any expectations of what's going to come out of your mouth or what's going to come out of their mouth. It's a practice, it's a sandbox.

I invite you, especially if you're on the fence—like, "Oh, I'm not so sure, I think I want to leave the meeting"—I invite you to hang in there and see what surprises might come up for you. And if tonight is really not the right night for you, that's fine too, you can bow out. It's all good. But check it out, especially if you're on the fence.

With that, I'd like to create the breakout rooms now. They will be a size of three or four; we'll see how the chips fall. And here we go. Let's see.

[Breakout Sessions Occur]

Great. Okay, welcome back, everyone. Lovely to see you. We have just a few minutes before we close to hear how your practice was tonight. Either the first part of the practice, the guided meditation—questions, comments, complaints, everything is welcome—or the second part of the practice, holding each other in this way and interacting.

Please feel free to unmute yourself because I don't see everyone on the screen, so you don't have to raise your hand. You can just unmute yourself and speak if you wish. Don't be shy; I'd love to hear from you. I talk too much. The time went too fast!

Speaker 1 (Barry): This is my second sit today, and I fell asleep during both sits today, so I obviously need some rest. I was telling my subgroup about the Big Sky meditation which I've been playing around with lately, so that's what I'm up to tonight.

Nikki Mirghafori: Lovely. I'm delighted that you joined, Barry, even though you're tired, and I hope you sleep well tonight. It's almost 10:00 p.m. your time on the East Coast. Hope you sleep well. Thanks for showing up. Who else? I saw somebody else unmuted themselves. You're welcome. Lisa, please.

Speaker 2 (Lisa): I just want to extend sincere gratitude for the calming presence that you brought out in me. It was nice to feel it; it was kind of magical. I meditate for 10 minutes every day, and this was tapping into a different kind of joyful magic that I will remember is available. Thank you.

Nikki Mirghafori: Beautiful. Thank you, Lisa. I love your words: the joyful place of magic is available inside you every day. Love it. Beautiful. Delighted you joined.

Speaker 3 (Bobby): I wanted to add that it was just really wonderful, the space that you created. Both parts of the practice I felt were nutrient-rich, creating such a peaceful space, allowing us to feel present, and tapping into that mettā really beautifully.

Nikki Mirghafori: Thanks, Bobby. I'm delighted to see you and you showing up. You know, this wouldn't be the same if you guys weren't here present, right? If I was just talking to myself, it wouldn't be the same without us creating a field together. So I really appreciate everyone showing up and practicing together. It's a co-created field. Thank you, Bobby.

Any last reflections?

Speaker 4: I would like to extend gratitude to Catelyn and Trudy, who I was in a group with. All three of us were talking about the fact that we give more easily than we receive. The collective learning that we came up with was that by giving people the opportunity to give, it's a gift to them in a way. So the act of receiving is a gift to those who would give. So thank you both, and thank you Nikki, as always.

Nikki Mirghafori: Beautiful point you brought up. Indeed, it is a huge gift to another being to let them be generous to you, and it is a radical practice of humility in this tradition to allow yourself to receive. It's so important for us to practice receiving, not just giving. So practice receiving, people! It's important. And giving too, of course, but receiving is just as important. Both are very important in different ways.

Patricia, you want to say something?

Speaker 5 (Patricia): Nikki, I know it's time to leave, but I was wondering if I could ask you a quick question before you leave. It's kind of like a private thing, I don't want to bother everybody.

Nikki Mirghafori: It's all good. I'll formally bring the session to a close and I'll just stay back and you can ask your question.

It's seven o'clock. I want to thank all of you for showing up and for practicing, both for yourself and for all beings whose lives you touch. This is really sweet.

I see an offering from Neil: "My first time joining live. It was even more powerful than the recording. Thank you kindly."

Thank you, Neil. I'm so delighted that you joined live. I think they are more powerful live, especially with the interaction, so I'm glad you joined. What a delight.

May you all be well, safe, happy, healthy, and have ease, and may you spread your light in the world powerfully, both giving and receiving with humility. May all beings be well. May all beings be happy. Thank you, take care, good night, or good morning for those in Asia. Bye-bye.