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Happy Hour: Miracles of Each Moment

Introduction

You have another minute until we formally start. It would be lovely to hear some hellos, maybe your name and where you're calling from. You can either unmute yourself if you wish, or you can type it in the chat and I will read them out loud. I'll start. I'm Nikki, and I am in Mountain View, California.

"Hi Tim, welcome. My name is Catherine, and I'm joining you from the East Coast of Australia." Lovely, beautiful. Welcome to our friend. "It's Saturday lunchtime here on Saturday." Wow, wild! That's beautiful, welcome. It's great. I was going to ask you what time it is in Australia, and you just read my mind. So that's beautiful.

We have Holly also from Melbourne. Wow, Melbourne, Australia. Of course, this is lovely, this is great. We have two Australians. Liz from Ventura. We have Amy. Aloha and Metta^[1] from Hawaii, also a different time zone. This is lovely.

Anyone else want to say hi? "Hi, this is Belle from Redwood City." Great to see you, welcome, lovely. Hi Houston in Honolulu also, oh so sweet. Kim from British Columbia, hello Kim, welcome. I'm loving this part of the ritual. Oh, we have Rangana from Sri Lanka on YouTube. Welcome, Rangana from Sri Lanka. This is very sweet tonight. We're quite international, I must say. Different time zones. It just makes me very happy, touches my heart. Wow, this can be the starting point for our meditation tonight: the gladness, heart's gladness. Just the sense of connection, interconnection internationally.

Note to self to remember to record. Here we go. So formally, welcome. Welcome to Happy Hour. Lovely to see you all, to be with you virtually wherever on this planet you are. Whether you're in Redwood City like Belle, or Catherine and Holly you're in Australia, or Rangana from Sri Lanka, Susan from Santa Cruz, Kim from British Columbia, and Houston and Amy from Hawaii. Anyone I missed? Houston in Honolulu, yes. So I probably have missed a few. Liz from Ventura, California. Anyway, lots of folks from various places, so I'm just feeling the gladness of feeling connected with you all.

For the theme for tonight, for the offering for the guided meditation, the theme I wanted to present or talk a little bit about was the miracles of each moment. Miracles of each moment, and in fact, our being together in this format right now. The miracles of technology that we can sit together, coming together from various places from around the world, and connect virtually, connect in this space, and practice together.

So I will start the guided meditation as usual with some grounding with the breath, with the body to really settle, especially this being Friday evening, afternoon, or Saturday lunchtime in Australia. Wherever you might be, it's the end of the week. I wanted to acknowledge that and really have a settling in with the body. Just calming, settling, and nourishing the body. You might be tired from a long week. Even if not physically tired, fatigue of the body sometimes comes from the worries or fatigue of the mind. This is a time if worry is visiting you, you're definitely not alone. Lots of thoughts or what's happening in our world can take a toll on our bodies. Acknowledge that and have a sense of refuge.

After the settling, calming, and nourishing with the body and the breath, I want to open it up tonight to sounds, to feel held spaciously, a sense of opening up. Then moving to the contemplation and the invitation for the miracles of this moment, and meeting this moment and miracles with gladness, with a tender and open heart. So that's the arc I'm hoping for tonight, and let's see what happens.

Reflections and Q&A

Thank you all. I would love to hear your reflections on chat, or if you'd like to unmute yourself and share a word or two about how you are right now, what's coming up for you in this very moment. What's coming up for me right now is I'm feeling much more settled and spacious than before leading the guided meditation, and much more open to the miracle that this life is. There's more I can say, but I'd like to hear from you.

"Restful," Erica says. Beautiful. Any other reflections? Wonderful, thank you.

"I feel less captured by my sense of a small self." Beautiful. Thank you, Susan. Less captured by the sense of your small self. Beautiful.

Beverly: "Deeply settling." Thank you.

"Compassion for my situation, and like I'm more in touch with the reality of it." Beautiful, thank you for that. I think that was Holly, right? Yes, more compassion for your own situation, the situation that you're in, more in touch with it, and holding it with much more compassion. Beautiful.

Midori: "Roomier inside." That could be a double entendre: room here with more room, or Rumi^[2], the poet, inside. I love it! [Laughter]

Any other reflections you'd like to share? Great. So this is the time that we have the option to have some interactive practice of deep listening. I'd like to give you the option tonight whether to stay in a large group or have the interactive practice in small breakout groups and come back to the big group. I'm going to run a poll. I did this last time, and I'll let you decide if you want breakout groups of size three, large groups, or if you have no preference.

I'll wait for a moment for folks to put in their votes. Seventy percent of you have voted now, 75 percent. I'll take another moment. All right, so it seems like the large group is winning tonight by 53 percent. No preference is 33 percent. Breakout groups is 13 percent. So we're going to stay in the large group tonight. That means there needs to be some Q&A, so there can be some comments or answers. I would love to hear from you. More reflections about what came up for you if you want to take a little more time about this practice period, or if you'd like to ask specific questions, everything is welcome. Complaints!

Oh, from YouTube, which is delayed, "Feeling relaxed" is a reflection that is coming up from Rangana. Thank you, Rangana.

Especially those of you who voted for staying in this large room, take it away! You can raise your hand or just unmute yourself; I may not see everyone on the screen.

That's sweet, I like this from Holly: "I feel so much warmth when people's pets come into the screen." Yes, me too! It's really sweet to see the sweet little kitty. So this is your time, folks. Questions, reflections, complaints, anything about your practice.

Catherine: Nikki, I'll dive in and take advantage of this wonderful opportunity to not just be listening to you on AudioDharma, but to be in the same space, which is incredible. I already feel a little sad because one day this will come to an end, and I'll be back to AudioDharma and won't have this opportunity to sit with this Sangha^[3]. What I really appreciate about those opportunities is that there's a particular intentionality. I'm two hours north of Sydney, and I'm meditating with groups in Melbourne, and I've been fortunate to be able to join Zoom groups with Andrea and also participate in the YouTube sessions that Gil does in the evening, which I then get at lunchtime. I've been meditating for 16 years, and I'm by myself because I live in a rural area, and it is just such a blessing to be able to join with others and experience that intentionality. So I really appreciate it. I thought I'd have to one day get to Redwood City to meet you all, and of course, here you are in my bedroom. It is really great.

While I've got this opportunity to be with the Sangha, I care for my mother with Parkinson's disease, and I have to work with a lot of resentment. My heart is very good after my meditation practice—it stands me in very good stead—but I can just shrink back like an elastic band so quickly with resentment. It's an odd fit, it's a funny feeling. I don't really quite have my head around it, but I'm just wondering if there are any comments on what is going on with resentment. I acknowledge it, and that's there, and that is the gift, as you say, that is the opportunity. But if I could wave a magic wand and remove something from my life, it would be the feeling of resentment. So in lieu of that, I'm wondering if anyone can offer any thoughts. Thank you.

Nikki: Thank you, Catherine. So wonderful that you're here joining the Sangha from Australia. Well, you are the Sangha. You are the Sangha wherever you are. Regarding the first piece that you shared about the opportunity and the sadness of this coming to an end, we are actually talking about ways that some of the programs could continue to support our international Sangha because we know that AudioDharma has an international following, and it's not just Redwood City. So we are thinking of ways, so that's the good news there.

Regarding what you shared, that you care for your mother who has Parkinson's, that's very challenging. It is challenging to be a caretaker, and the sense of resentment comes up. Resentment is part of human emotions. No one of us here in this room hasn't had it before, or will have it at some point. It comes up when the conditions are right, when the causes and conditions are in place, resentment arises. There's nothing wrong with you, you know, you're not defective. It's just born of causes and conditions that make it arise.

In a way, seeing it as an emotion that's arising, that again is born of causes and conditions, makes it feel less personal. So there is no self-flagellation on top of the resentment. In a moment I'll talk more about working with the resentment itself, but it is important not to add insult to injury. Already, resentment is painful enough. It's hard enough to have resentment in the heart, but adding, "Oh, why am I resentful? I must be a terrible daughter," or—you didn't say any of those, but having been in situations myself, they could arise. So it would be helpful to see, "Ah, it's just resentment arising out of the causes and conditions of my life and everything else." That can soften it already a little bit, soften the resentment just a little bit, so there's not another layer on top of it holding it down.

The other aspect of resentment—there's so many, and without going through more interactive dialogue, there could be different things under the resentment. Sometimes it can be a sense of not being able to care for yourself. I don't know exactly what the various conditions are, but if I'm on the wrong track, you can correct me. What I want to say is, in terms of caretaking specifically, sometimes resentment comes up because we are not taking care of ourselves enough. Taking care of ourselves first, I would say, which is really, really hard. And that can bring up a sense of resentment.

So as a caretaker, I really encourage you, if there are ways that you can care for yourself, to really take care of your own heart, your own body, your own needs, so that you're more available to care for your mother. And the care can come from a place of appreciation and love and devotion and learning, and all the beauty that can be in caretaking. Not feeling bad about taking care of yourself, not feeling bad about doing what you need to do to take care of yourself. I'm sure there is a lot more there, but this is the little I can offer right now without this being a private one-on-one where you can divulge more personal information. Is that okay for now?

Catherine: Yes, thank you so much for the question.

Nikki: Actually, Amy is responding to the question I was just about to ask. "Looking at difficulties as a miracle was helpful. I'm wondering how to work with it. Is the suggestion to recall my current pains, challenges, and pair it with a compassionate inner voice, and 'this too is a miracle,' to see if it will soften?"

I really appreciate the question, and also the acknowledgment that by looking at your difficulty as a miracle, it was helpful in this guided meditation. What I would say, though, is not so much recalling as a practice to bring up something from the past and pair it with a compassionate inner voice. Doing that to see if it would soften can backfire. Let me distinguish what I'm recommending and what I'm recommending against.

What I recommend against is really trying very hard to make a challenge appear as a good thing or a miracle. It's as if you're pushing it, like, "Oh, this thing is really hard, but can I look at it as a miracle? Okay, come on, it's a miracle, really!" If you try to force yourself, it becomes painful because it becomes spiritual bypass^[4].

However, if it's really invitational, such that you bring it up to your mind, "How can I see this as a miracle?" and the answer in that moment might be, "Hell no!" Okay, fine. It's done, don't push it. But after the invitation, if the answer comes, "Actually, yeah, it's expansive, it's beautiful. I can see how this is amazing that this is happening." Then that is how I would recommend the practice. I hope that answered your question, Amy.

Amy: "Okay, thanks. Yes."

Nikki: You're welcome. Beautiful, great.

Closing

So in the last moment that is left, I wanted to actually share an image with you. Let's see if I can do this. One of the inspirations for this guided meditation tonight was a friend of mine, a Zen teacher. Last week, I saw this on his wall when I was having a Zoom meeting with him. You see this painting? I asked him what that was, and he explained it to me. This is the work of—actually, here's another one, I'll put this one up, which is quite beautiful.

The artist is a Zen artist, and the name of these pieces, the series of pieces, is "The Empty Circle" or "The Emptiness Circle." The empty circle with multiple colors or with one color. The name that he gives the series is Miracles of Each Moment. I believe that's the name, let me just make sure I'm not giving you wrong information. Yes, and his name is Kazuaki Tanahashi^[5], and he does calligraphy.

So I've been sitting with the miracles of each moment in my own practice, inspired by these images, by this beautiful artist. So I wanted to offer that to you tonight, and to also thank him and give him credit for this inspiration.

May you be well. May you be safe. May you be happy. May your hearts and minds be filled with the miracles of each and every moment. Thank you so much for joining Happy Hour. Take good care, bye.