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Guided Meditation: Mindfulness with Equanimity

Welcome to the last week of the year. It's quite something to have gone through all the challenges of this year since March. Perhaps we're wiser, perhaps we are more equanimous about things that a year ago we would not have been wise and not had some healthy equanimity about. And so it happens to be that the last topic of the year is equanimity, right up until the first day of 2021 on Friday.

Thinking about equanimity, I think of it as maybe a mind at rest, or very similar to a mind at rest, with the following analogy the Buddha gave^[1]: A cowherd in ancient India, when the growing season for the rice was happening, it was very important for the cowherd to stay close to the cows, shooing them away from the rice paddies and directing them where they had to go. They had to be very attentive because there wasn't a lot of space between the rice paddies where the cows could graze. So, a lot of effort and a lot of attention. But once the rice had been harvested, there was no longer any need to shoo the cows around. Rather, the cowherd could now lean against a tree in the shade and just keep an equanimous, broad gaze out across the fields, generally tracking and being aware of where the cows are, but no longer needing to be for or against them going in this direction or that direction.

A mind at rest is the same way. When it has done its work, there's nothing that has to be done. The mind is at ease, and there's no longer a need to follow every little movement of the mind, to move in this direction, back to the breath, or avoid those kinds of fantasies which maybe you've done ten thousand times. But the mind can sit back and just not be for or against anything, but watch it all in a spacious, equanimous mind. This idea of not being for or against, not needing to shoo things this way and that way, from a mind that's settled, equanimous, and non-reactive, is one of the great gifts of this Buddhist practice. We'll talk more about that this week.

So for now, assume a meditation posture. Gently close your eyes, and without much more, notice the quality of your mind. Is your mind jumping around? Is it strongly concerned with certain thoughts and ideas? Is it agitated, energized, or is it lethargic? Is it hesitant and reluctant? Notice how your mind is, and see if you can notice it with equanimity—with not being for or against how the mind is, but just to notice, "This is how it is for me."

Then, noticing the knowing in and of itself and the simplicity of knowing something. There are qualities of equanimity, qualities of not being for or against, just to know. As you're sitting here now, bring that knowing to experiencing your body. How is your body at this time? For a few moments, just know as if nothing needs to change. You don't need to be for or against, because if you're for or against something, it's harder to know it clearly, to really see what's happening.

But if there are some ways in which you can adjust your posture so that you're a little bit more comfortable and at ease, maybe relaxing parts of your body. There is a subtle way in which, in the movement of the mind as it relaxes the body, there can be a feeling of equanimity. A feeling of also letting go of being for or against needing to do anything, even though you are relaxing.

Softening the shoulders, softening the belly. Softening the arms, the elbows. Maybe you can soften the whole waist area, around to the small of the back. Maybe by relaxing the tops of the thighs, and maybe relaxing the muscles of the face.

And then, if it's possible, letting your mind be at rest. As if, for this time, there's no more work, there's nothing more to be afraid of, or to prove, or to avoid. Trusting that the mind is broad enough, wide enough to hold all things, to make space for all things that are. Because there's so much space in the mind and the heart, it's possible also to be equanimous—to not be for or against, but to be at rest in the awareness of what's happening.

Then within your body, as part of your bodily experience, allow there to be room in your mind, in awareness, for breathing. Let there be room for the body's experience of breathing to occur within awareness.

Experiment a little bit with your mind, your awareness, to see if you can find a way to really feel and sense the inhales and exhales without it needing to be any different than the way it is. Whether it's comfortable or uncomfortable to breathe, whether your attention on the breath is clear and continuous or not, whether you're controlling your breath or not—whatever way it is, can you experiment or look for that way of being with the breathing that is spacious and equanimous, balanced and even? Allowing it to be just the way it is, and the mind at ease with that.

As you exhale, relaxing the thinking mind. As you exhale, quiet your thinking. As you exhale, let go of your thinking. Thinking is often part of an agitated mind, a mind that's for or against things. As thinking becomes quieter, you might look for the increased equanimity, or the way in which the mind is more at rest, at ease.

You might find or see ways in which the mind is not equanimous. When you step back with awareness and really notice how your mind is, you might find that it's very much involved in wanting or not wanting, being disturbed or being depressed in some way. Can you experiment with knowing that? Knowing how the mind is, so the knowing itself is relaxed, at ease. The knowing itself is equanimous.

With some modicum of equanimity in recognizing how you are, open up again to your breathing. Letting breathing be at the center of it all. Ever so gently, breathe a little bit deeper, exhaling a little bit more fully. Gently enough so that the mind is restful as you do so. The mind is curious, present. Let go as you exhale. Let go of all things while you let go into the breathing.

Taking a few moments now to notice to whatever degree your mind is equanimous, or at rest, or at ease. Or perhaps your heart is at ease, at rest, equanimous here in the present moment with how things are. Breathing in and out.

To whatever degree that the mind is not agitated, the heart is at ease, can you now feel your goodwill, or your love, your capacity for care and warmth, kindness? It's almost as if equanimity clears the air, clears the agitation that allows the capacity for love, for kindness and friendliness to be more clear, more available.

Perhaps there's a way in which there can be love, compassion, goodwill, that is itself at rest, or is itself easy or equanimous. Not really involved in being for or against anything. Just gazing upon all things kindly.

Allowing whatever sense of kindness you have to now open up and take in the people in your life, the people in your neighborhood, communities. As if you're opening the doors of your heart wide open to take in all beings everywhere. And with equanimity, with non-agitation, sending your well-wishing out into the world:

May all beings be happy. May all beings be safe. May all beings be free.

And may you bring an equanimous care and love in your communication with other people today. Experiment with a heart that's at ease and equanimous as you express your generosity and care and kindness for the welfare and happiness of the people around you.

May all beings be happy.