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Happy Hour: Deeply Spacious Listening to this Body

Introduction

Hello and welcome everyone to this edition of Happy Hour.

Last Monday, we started with a meditation. I didn't say too many words to frame it, and it was a relatively quiet one, inviting the nourishment of settling in, of peace, of quiet as an expression of mettā^[1]. Many of you expressed enthusiasm for having another similar Happy Hour. Let's see how it goes tonight. I'm not going to say much, similar to Monday. Let's explore together. Let's see what arises, exploring silence as nourishment of mettā. Let's begin our formal practice of meditation together.

Guided Meditation

If you're sitting in a chair, letting your body be straight^[2], not uptight but upright. No tightness needed in the muscles, but a sense of integrity in your posture. If you need to lie down, that's okay, or stand up to do standing meditation, that's perfectly fine as well. I'm going to give the instructions assuming you're sitting, though. So assuming you're sitting, feeling your sit bones on the chair and the cushion.

Paying attention. Pay attention to the body. How are you, body? How are you in this moment in time? Greeting your body with kindness. It's worked so hard all day.

How are you, body? Pay attention. Places in the body that are really tired, heavy, maybe tight, maybe achy. Can you greet them? Welcome them to be just as they are. Maybe there are parts of the body that are feeling good, comfortable, warm, light. Invite them too, to be as they are. And also inviting the body, as it wanted to, relax a little bit. Let go of tightness and tension.

Listen, listen carefully. Listen spaciously. Listen spaciously with your heart to the body.

The listening here is a metaphor for paying attention spaciously. Listen spaciously to the sensations of the breath in the body, in the abdomen. If another sensation in the body is louder, it's okay. Listen to that. Listen to that wholeheartedly.

Listen lovingly, body, to the breath. Nothing needs to happen, just to listen.

If thoughts are arising, you can listen to the arc of them coming and going, not the content. The content isn't needed right now. The fact that thinking might be happening... thank you, thoughts, not now. I'm listening to the body. To this amazing, dear body that is a tuning fork, really. It resonates with emotions, with mind states. It's a tuning fork I want to take care of, attend to caringly. Relaxing the body with the next out-breath. And lovingly listen.

Listen to the sensations. They are loud and clear. Can you hear them? Can you sense them?

Become interested, become curious. Become fascinated by listening. The body relaxes. Rest back. Rest and listen.

This is an expression of mettā: to care, be present for, to listen to our body just as it is.

If thoughts arise to take you away from the body, not a problem. Release them smilingly, listening to their arc coming and going, and not entangled. Listening to the body, giving your heart. The body can teach you stillness. The body can teach you patience, kindness. Pay attention. All you need to know is already here. Already here.

It is an expression of care, of mettā. Be present for the present, or pay attention to, spaciously listen to this body right here, with loving-kindness.

Mettā can show up in so many ways and flavors. Spacious, deep listening, kind presence is one way it shows up. Can we express that for our bodies, for this being who is me in this moment?

Listening, listening to the sensations. The lullaby of the breath.

The body is a great teacher. Pay attention, relax the tension. Pay attention to the stillness. The silence between the notes in this body.

And as we begin to bring this practice session to a close, opening up your sphere of awareness a little wider. Not just where your body seemingly ends at the border of your skin, but as if your body was more extensive, more expansive. Part of the air, the space around it, and beyond. Listening spaciously, internally, externally. This being who is me in this moment in time, interconnected in vast, unfathomable ways. Internally, externally. So much more... this being who is me is so much more than what I take it to be. Connected, supporting others, being supported by others. Appreciating, perhaps, with all this vast universe inside and outside, and offering our goodness, our care, our deep listening to the world as a gift. As we listen to ourselves, as we can be more present to ourselves with mettā, we can be more present for others with mettā.

May all beings everywhere, including myself, be safe, happy, healthy. May all beings be free.

Thanks everyone. Thanks for your practice.

Reflections and Q&A

So, what we did tonight was a practice of mettā as deep listening. As presence, deep listening internally to this body. Listening to the sensations of the body^[3], and really being a good student of the body. The body is a tuning fork. As I mentioned in the meditation, when there are mind states, states of heart, emotions, etc., the body, like a tuning fork, resonates. So the more we get to pay attention and be present for it with mettā, without pushing things aside—in a way like, "I don't want to listen to that." No, let me listen to that. Let me listen to it all, even if it's quote-unquote bad news. I want to know; I want to be present for it all.

Tonight our expression of mettā, our practice of mettā, was deep listening. Deep listening to this body's sensations, and then the mind can get quite calm and settled with this deep, spacious listening to the sensations. There's a lot of stillness in the body in between the vibrations. And all that, as I was describing it, is like the silence between the notes as if it were music. So paying attention.

I'd like to open up the space for any reflections, questions, comments, anything you might have discovered or noticed tonight with this practice offered for both your own benefit and the benefit of others.

Bill says, "When you spoke of seeing thoughts come and go without becoming entangled in the thoughts themselves, I had a real problem with doubt. Not sure how I can do that."

Ah, okay. I appreciate the question, Bill. It takes some practice, but consider a stance of non-entanglement into the thought, but knowing. I mean, thoughts can come and go, and at first, maybe you realize it later after you've been entangled in the thought. It's okay. Then, "Oh yeah, I was gonna be unentangled. Oh, it's okay." But in that last moment, become aware of the thought disappearing, going away. Start there. It starts there. And then little by little, while you're in the middle of the thought, when you're still entangled, then this awareness comes like, "Oh, I'm entangled. Can I just step back and see thinking is happening? Like, oh no, no, no, no, no." There can be a little bit of space. And then through this practice, you can see thoughts are coming and going when the mind gets a little more settled, without getting entangled from the beginning. But it happens step by step by step. You can't just do the whole thing at once. Start when you just wake up, having been entangled in thinking for a while, and start noticing the thought going away. So that's the place to start, Bill, and that way your confidence will be built in this practice, little by little. You are welcome.

Richard, I see your hand.

Richard: Oh my God, yes. You know, there are always different sensations in the body, but there are also different sort of ways of being in the body, or being the body. Like a yin-yang^[4] thing, a very passive thing, a very active thing. It's like every state of emotion and thought just sort of shows up differently.

Nikki: Yes, yeah, there are lots of different ways of being in the body. Tonight I was specifically inviting you, guiding you to relax and to listen spaciously. That was the key word: to listen to the body spaciously. That spacious way of listening, that was an unentangled way of listening. It's a particular way of paying attention, and also I was bringing the sense of mettā, care, with this spacious presence.

Richard: I'll try, I'll try.

Nikki: Yeah, great, thank you. Thanks Richard. Yeah, there are so many ways.

Any other reflections or questions before we transition? Any aha moments perhaps you had being present for this body, this deep listening, spacious listening?

Jesse, please.

Jesse: Yeah, thanks Nikki for this practice. This was great. You know, this deep listening practice, I've done some daylong retreats^[5] with you before on concentration practice, which usually uses the breath as a meditation object. But this felt really different, and I'm just wondering if you could maybe compare and contrast samatha or shamatha^[6] practice with this mindful deep listening that you presented tonight. Thank you.

Nikki: Yeah, thank you so much, Jesse. Samatha practice is often translated as concentration, where the mind gets still when we keep coming back to an object, and usually in the West we use the breath. For this practice, though, there are many different objects. By the way, on February 4th and 5th, I'm teaching a white kasiṇa^[7] retreat, which is a different way of developing concentration, samatha. It's on my schedule if you go to my website. But the body is also another way to cultivate concentration, settling the mind. The sensations of the body are definitely a concentration object. Tonight, with this invitation for deep listening, when I was talking about listening to the stillness, the silence between the notes, that was an invitation for the mind to settle into samādhi^[8], actually. The stillness, yeah, exactly right on, Jesse. Great, thank you.

Elaine says, "I really enjoy tuning into my body and getting a break from my thinking mind." Lovely.

Another practitioner says, "Thank you, this was much needed. I felt a sense of ease amidst the physical pain I've been feeling lately." Thank you for sharing that.

Sandra says, "It was nice to quiet my mind and tune into the body at the end of a busy day."

Yasi asks, "How can one stay with the practice in a rowdy environment? For example, kids are rowdy and shouting, caregivers are screaming, etc. Do we just try to extend the mettā to all of them as well?"

Yes, yes, exactly. So this practice of deep listening, when we practice when it's not so rowdy around and we get to listen, then we can take this to where it is rowdy. We can still listen to our own heart, our own mind when there's a lot happening externally, as well as extend our full presence to others and listen to them without toppling over. It all starts internally, and then of course it extends to all beings, everyone, whether they're rowdy or shouting, etc.

Thank you for the reflections, everyone. Now I'd like to invite us to engage in small groups, in the sangha^[9] breakout groups. The question for tonight's reflection—and you can choose to reflect, or you can choose to just be silent and offer your silent presence—is: This tuning into the body, listening deeply into the body, this act of listening... what supports your deep listening to the body, and what challenges it? What is supportive, and what's challenging? So what's supportive might be, "Oh yeah, an environment that's not so loud," or "Maybe a guided meditation is supportive." What's not supportive is, "When I try to push and I'm really, really tensing up to listen to my body, I realize actually it's counterproductive." Anyway, your reflections, your mileage might vary, but what's supportive may be one thing, and one thing that's not supportive that you discover. And maybe you have one and not the other, like, "I don't know what's not supportive or what's supportive, I'm still exploring this." You can just hold space for others.

With that, I'd like to invite us to the breakout rooms. I'm going to create them now. So as always, please just offer a reflection from yourself and make space for others, not asking questions, not directing. And let's go in alphabetical order. Just offer something, maybe you say "pass," the next person, next person, it'll come back to you. Go around and around. Take care of yourselves, take care of each other. Here we go.

Okay, the rooms are all closed, everybody is back, and it's 7:00. I wonder if there are any very quick reflections from what you learned, maybe something surprising you discovered? Like a 30-second reflection, someone who hasn't spoken? Ali, please.

Ali: Hello, thank you for your teachings and sharing with us. What came up for me is just, like, I'm mostly in the mind, but this thing is more... I mean, with the body, it's more solid, and I can just feel the sensations. The stuff in the mind is more ephemeral, harder to catch. So thank you for that reflection. I'm just going to practice more staying with the body.

Nikki: Beautiful, thank you so much, Ali. Thank you for your practice and for sharing that reflection. It's so fresh, and the way you shared it for the benefit of everyone. Beautiful. So thank you, and thank you all for your practice. May all beings everywhere be free, including ourselves.

Thank you Nikki. Thank you, thanks everyone.