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Happy Hour: The Illusion of Separateness and Racial Injustice

Introduction

Hello everyone, welcome to Happy Hour. It's good to see you, wherever in the world you are, whatever time zone it is. It's wonderful to see you and to practice with you this afternoon, evening, or morning.

It might be nice to just say hello in the chat, to type where you are zooming in from today. It's a nice little ritual in this virtual space we're in. I'm Nikki, and I'm in Mountain View, California. Hi Katie from Seattle. Hello Lisa from Berkeley, California. Drew from Phoenix. Mel from Singapore, yes, welcome. John and Sue from Mountain View. Ami from Oahu, lovely, welcome. Sheila from New York City. Renaud from Dublin, California. This is great, very sweet, heartwarming. Dawn from Michigan on YouTube joining us. Jared from Ohio. Yuka from Japan, welcome. It is so sweet. I feel happy already, feeling the world is wide and also close. Nancy from Redwood City, yes, with protests underway. There are protests right now happening in many cities in the US and across the world, I hear on the news. Redwood City is actually where protests are happening tonight.

With the hellos, I will get started. Hello and welcome to this evening, to this moment, Happy Hour in this world that's in turmoil. This country is in turmoil, and in many countries, out of solidarity, there are protests around the world. I just saw in the news yesterday that in the country of my birth, Iran, there was a candlelight vigil for George Floyd. So many people around the world are touched by what is happening in this country.

As a part of our practice this evening, I want to invite us to sit with and make space for what is challenging in the world, in our own hearts, and in our own minds. By building the strength and the kindness to be with what is challenging—and even though I'm saying "sit with," it's really to "be with"—we build the resilience to take kind action in the world, to be of benefit to others, and to be of benefit to ourselves.

If we just sat all day in a cave, not to say there are no benefits to that—those are inspiring ways to be in the world and contribute also—but for us lay folks, there are so many different ways that our practice really shows up in the world. We know that the way we live our lives, the choices that we make, the things that we do and don't do, are all part of our practice. Our practice is not separate. It's not that we just sit on the cushion with our eyes closed and then go out in the world and whatever. It doesn't work that way. At some point on the path, we realize that the way we live our lives, the way we stand for values of justice, kindness, and care for all beings, is not just at the end of our practice when we ring a bell and dedicate the merit: "May all beings be happy." How do we actually show up? What are the choices that we make to support justice, equality, and happiness for all beings everywhere, for our kin, for our siblings, our brothers and sisters?

The idea of the waterfall comes up for me. In the teachings of Suzuki Roshi^[1], he likened humanity and our lives to a waterfall. Before the water drops, the molecules, the drops of water are just a river, they are together. Then when the water is coming down in the waterfall, it seems like they are individual droplets, they are separate. That's what we feel like in our lives. We feel like a separate being: "This is Nikki, and that's John." We are separate things. But on the other end, when the waterfall crashes and is done with this way of being, again, we are all one. There is no separation.

What if, as we were living our lives with the feeling of separation, with the illusion of separateness, what if we actually now and then act as if that illusion did not exist? What if we acted with a liberated mind? It is said that you fake it until you make it. What if we faked the perspective of a liberated mind? We faked this perspective that we are all one, we are not separate, no matter what the color of our skin, where we are born, our background, our gender identity, whatever it might be. I could be you. I could be born as you. You could be born as me. There is no separation. What if we just chose to take that on as a perspective, treating your pain as if it is really my pain? What would that awakened perspective be like to take on for a day, to just live that way for a day?

Reflections and Q&A

Thank you all for practicing together and holding space. If there are any reflections you would like to share, please type them in the chat or raise your hand.

Before we go into breakout groups, I'll share with you what's coming up for me in this practice. This is something that I usually don't talk about, which is having done the practice of past lives. There is a sense that I could have been born as anyone else; there is no separation. Part of what I was inviting you to in this practice was to get a sense of what it feels like to experience yourself as if you were a different being, to really break that sense of separation. So for me, what's really alive right now is that transparency. Being the way and the color I am, I could have been born in this life, in this zeitgeist, as a Black man. How would that feel? How can I extend my heart to really feel with compassion the experience of our brothers and sisters in this society?

Thank you, Mel, for sharing the reflection: "Universal suffering for all, universal opportunity to share." Nancy says, "I'm very tender-hearted tonight with all that's happening." Yeah, thank you for those reflections. Part of what we do with this practice is not to turn away. It's okay to have a heavy, tender heart. I feel I have a heavy, tender heart now, and it's appropriate. The practice is about building the resilience and the stability to be with whatever might come up. Richard says, "Turning toward all and holding with compassion the pain, the anxiety, the discomfort, the fear, the kindness, the care, the compassion." Thank you, Richard. Ami says, "I wish you could guide the entire world in that practice." I wish the entire world would want to practice in this way. We do what we can. We don't do this practice just for ourselves, but in service to all beings everywhere.

With tender hearts, however you are showing up right now tonight, the invitation is for us to engage in a brief time to share what's coming up for you. It can be timely and precious to have the opportunity to check in with other practitioners wherever you are in the world. I'm going to invite us now into breakout rooms. If you decide it's not for you, this would be a good time to bow out. If you're willing to just share for a few minutes, be held with compassion, and hold others, I think this can be a lovely opportunity.

[Breakout rooms commence and conclude]

Welcome back, everyone. If you'd like to share some reflections on what's coming up for you, either from the guided meditation or from sharing with each other, you can use the chat, raise your hand, or unmute yourself.

Samuel: What was coming up for me in the group talk we were having is this heavy and shaky feeling, and frustration about the limitations of the impact that I can have in my present environment. I'm actually at a monastery. There's a conflict in me about taking care of the space and cultivating good qualities, but wanting to see something direct and impact what I feel disgust and anger about. Trying to hold all of these things in a skillful way can be challenging.

Nikki Mirghafori: Thank you for sharing that and bringing a lot of clarity in voicing the wholesome wish to do more, along with the sense of frustration about what can be done. It's about how to actually work with that in a wholesome way that inspires you to be in the world and keep that flame alive, rather than becoming disgruntled or detached.

I'll share what comes up for me. The fact that you are in a monastery cultivating these beautiful qualities of mettā, compassion, and karuṇā^[3]—there are so many ways that we can give. You don't know when the seeds you're planting right now will sprout. It may not be immediate, but the dots might connect more brilliantly than you ever realize.

From your voice, Samuel, I gather you might be on the younger side, so I invite you to have a longer-term view. When we are younger, we want to have an impact right now. It's important to try to do things right now, but if your situation in life is such that something else is called for, then continue to cultivate. Continue to brainstorm about ways you can do good in the world. As long as you are creating goodness in the world with what you're doing and planting seeds, that is important. Part of it is working with the frustration that's coming up for you in a wholesome way. Maybe those are also wholesome seeds you're planting. It's part of a longer conversation, but especially given that you are in a monastery, it makes for unique circumstances. Thank you for speaking up.

Michael: I just wanted to share that I feel like my seeds of happiness have been watered by your beautiful guided meditation. I feel a lot of gratitude toward the practice, and deep bows to you and all this evening.

Nikki Mirghafori: Thank you, Michael. Thank you so much for your practice, for joining, and for being here. It buoys my heart to hear that the seeds of happiness in the midst of sorrow are being watered. That's important.

Nancy: I just wanted to thank you for being here so regularly, and especially this evening. I was downtown earlier when they were boarding up all the windows and painting murals, and it was very moving. In my heart of hearts, I would like to be there with protesters, but I am at high risk, so I didn't feel it was safe for me to be there. I went to the beach, but I came back and still would like to be there. I thought maybe coming and sitting might be a way to spread some calm and love to everybody.

Nikki Mirghafori: Thank you, Nancy. Spreading calm, spreading love, and holding witness. You're not turning away. None of us are turning away. That is really important. We have to be creative about in what ways and at what times we can actually do good in the world. In this moment, it might be spreading calm for yourself and others that you care about, and not turning away. At the same time, there are many other ways we can come up with in our own lives and circumstances to continue not to turn away.

Thank you all for your practice. Thank you for not turning away and holding the pain and sorrow of beings, feeling no separation, and holding the injustice with compassion and care. May all beings be free from injustice, the causes of injustice, and the suffering that arises from injustice. Thank you all, take care of your hearts. Be well, good night.