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Guided Meditation: Three Breath Journey

Hello and welcome to our meditation session.

I met an Indian Insight teacher, a Vipassana^[1] teacher named Munindra-ji^[2], many years ago. One of his sayings that he was well known for is, "If it's not simple, it's not Vipassana^[3]." This idea of simplicity is challenging because we have our challenges that we think are complicated, that we can't figure out, that we're confused about, or lost in. There are so many different factors involved. But if it's not simple, it's not Vipassana. If it's not simple, it's not love. Let's leave it at that.

What I'd like to offer this morning is something very simple: a little technique that can be used in so many different situations. It is a little technique where it's going to be hard to say there is no time for it, unless there's something really pressing happening at the moment. It's a variation of what's called the "Three-Breath Journey."

Let's do it together. Take your meditation posture. Very simply—you don't have to do anything really—just close your eyes. With your eyes closed, take three simple, ordinary breaths, but really be present for those breaths. Really feel the breathing in the body.

Is there a difference between how you felt before the three-breath journey and afterwards? Sometimes in daily life, just taking three breaths to stop and close your eyes can interrupt the mind stream. We can step off the trains of thoughts that are spinning along and always in danger of derailing, and take a moment to just let go and be present. It can relax things; we can let go. It can give us a different perspective. It can take the edge off the challenges we have—the edge that comes with our alarm, the tension that we carry with us. I don't know how well it worked in the morning, the first thing, to do this, but I'd recommend that in your daily life you try it.

Now I'd like to suggest a different variation of the three-breath journey. I'll go through it a little bit slowly, and I don't know if my speed is going to match the speed in which you breathe. If I go too fast, then just remember it and follow along afterwards. If it's too slow, then maybe you can do it over again or do two breaths in a row doing the same thing.

With the eyes closed, take a breath and feel the breathing.

Then take a breath, and on the exhale, soften in your body.

And then take a breath, and on the exhale, ask the question: "Where is the love?"

We can do it again. First is just to feel the breath—one breath. Second, soften in the body. And third: "Where is the love?"

Let's do this two or three more times on your own. The softening also means letting go of any criticism or resistance to doing this. Do this without any expectations, measuring, or judgments about how you are. It is just an open, allowing exercise. Breathe, soften something within, and ask, "Where is the love?" Just drop that question in and allow whatever happens to happen.

Having introduced this to you now, kind of starting over again in the meditation, maybe take a few long, slow, deep breaths to re-familiarize yourself with your body and your meditation posture. Take long exhales to settle. Letting the breathing return to normal, still take a few moments to relax and let go in the body. Also, relax and soften the thinking mind.

If you'd like to continue with the three-breath journey: The first breath is to just breathe and be present for it. The second breath is to breathe and soften, to relax something. And the third is to ask, "Where is the love?" Not expecting an answer, but maybe it just opens a sense of curiosity and presence. Or maybe you discover that the love can be found in asking the question—in the care and tenderness from which that question comes.

You can do this through the whole sitting, just to go through the three over and over again, or periodically as you wish, or just sit here silently.

You could simplify the third breath. Do not have a question, but just say the word "love" quietly to yourself in your mind. Breathing for the first breath. Soften for the second. Love for the third. Saying the words as quietly as the mind is capable.

If you find yourself thinking a lot during the meditation, then the three-breath journey might be a better alternative.

As we come to the end of the sitting, perhaps a three-breath journey can be done in preparation for ending the sitting and being ready to enter the world again. One breath to breathe, one breath to soften, and one breath for love: "Where is the love?"

Taking some deep breaths, on the exhales, send out into the world your goodwill, your well-wishing, your love.

May all beings be happy. May all beings be safe. May all beings be peaceful. And may all beings everywhere be free.

Thank you.

Dharmette: Love When it is Hard (5 of 5) Pause to Love

Hello and welcome to the last talk on including love as part of the practice of being with challenges—love in times of challenge.

I think that it's fair to say that when we have challenges, almost the definition of a challenge is that it preoccupies us, it concerns us, it affects us in a sometimes deep way. It's easy then, in that preoccupation, to lose track of some of the important values and capacities we have. One of them is love.

In some challenges, we get caught up in anger and blame. That can be a loop where anger triggers more anger, and blame triggers more reasons to blame. We could be caught up in fear, and that also can be a loop where fear evokes more fear, fear gives rise to more fearful thoughts, and that produces more fear. There could be greed or ambition, or the problem-solving mind comes in. The problem-solving mind is so absorbed in itself that it leaves out a lot of the background of who we are that is actually there to support us and help us find a solution.

We need to pause long enough so that more of who we are, more of our resources and capacities, can be present as we're there with a challenge—so that our attention and concerns haven't been narrowed, haven't been hijacked, or haven't been caught in loops that are not so helpful. One of the classic techniques for the wise life is to pause. A mindful pause can make all the difference in the world so we're not on automatic pilot. Do we pause long enough to see where we have some choice? One of the simple choices we can have is to pause a little bit longer.

This technique of using three breaths to ground ourselves, to interrupt the mind streams, to remind ourselves of what's important, is a valuable thing to do. Hopefully, you almost always have time for three breaths. If you don't feel like you have time for it, then really take a good look at the situation. Is a truck barreling down at you? Is a mountain lion growling? Is there some immediate threat and danger? If not, question whether you can't just pause for three breaths.

One way of supporting that is to realize that love does take time. If love is important for you, it takes time to make room for it. Even if it's not readily available, pause and recognize that it is not present, but find out how important it is for you. Is it important enough for you that you wish it was there? Wishing love was there is in fact the beginning of love, provided the wish is soft, without expectation, without demands, without comparisons and judgments—just a very simple wish.

If you can take the time to pause for the three-breath journey, the simplest version is to simply stop and take three breaths mindfully and presently. Sometimes in a busy life, running around doing many things, that's where it is so powerful to take the three-breath journey. Maybe you drive someplace and you're a little bit late, or you're a little bit tense about it. Before you get out of your parked car, sit there quietly and take the three-breath journey. The busyness, the racing of the mind, might be quieted. You might be reconnected to yourself. Just three breaths can sometimes reset things in a busy life—maybe not dramatically, but enough to make a difference.

If you're standing in a line in a store, take a three-breath journey. If you turn on your computer to look at something, before you look at the monitor, take a three-breath journey. Do this so that the momentum of stress, the momentum of tension or desires of doing, doesn't have the upper hand when you sit down to look at the computer. Ground yourself in something else besides the momentum of the mind that's maybe been busy all day long.

Another variation of the three-breath journey is to have the first breath just be a grounding in the breathing. The second one is to use the exhale to relax and soften. And the third breath is to ask the question: "Where is the love?" Or just say, "Love." Sometimes in these three-breath journeys, it can be helpful if the breaths are a little bit deeper and longer than usual. It might be a little bit hard to keep that up—you might run out of breath—but for three breaths, maybe you can do that. The longer breath is grounding and connecting, but asking the question "Where is the love?" allows you to see what arises.

That might be enough to reconnect you to it. It might be enough for you to realize that you think something else is more important than love right now. If that's the case, it's good to really know that and see that in yourself: "Wow, am I pissed off at someone? Yes, certainly that's more important than love. If I give in to love now or take the time to love during one breath, then I'm not following the requirements of the situation to be angry." Pausing to see that that's what the mind is thinking might give occasion to pause even more. Is that really true? Is that really how I want to live my life? Where is the love?

Can I be angry and have love at the same time? Maybe we can, but maybe then the anger changes its nature to a very different form; maybe it takes the hostility out of the anger. Maybe there's still fear when there's love, but with love, fear doesn't take center stage. It's not the only game in town. Maybe what the fear needs is some love. That's often a good principle: when there's fear, there's a need for love. Unless it's an imminent threat, chronic anxiety or underlying fear that's been going on for some time probably has more to do with reassuring the heart in some deep way—reassuring the fear with love, with care, with kindness, with acceptance, with generosity.

Exactly what happens when you ask the question "Where is the love?" will depend on the circumstance and depend on you at different times, but it's a powerful question to keep in the forefront. Where's the love here? Where's the love in this challenge? "Oh, I forgot that I care about this person." Or, "Oh, I forgot that there's love here for myself. I'm so lost in the challenge that I'm not caring for myself. I'm actually harming myself with the tension that I hold."

Taking time to pause for the three-breath journey is a wonderful technique. It's something that can be applied in daily life in many circumstances. No one needs to know you're doing it. It can be done in the bathroom when no one's around, it can be done in the car when you park, or when you're on your device. It allows us to reconnect to some deeper value, some deeper sense of being alive, which might change the orientation or the perspective for how you want to continue.

It's all too easy to be caught up in perspectives and concerns which are not healthy, caught up in self-preoccupation, giving our beliefs too much authority. To have a way to cut through that, to interrupt it, to question it, and reconnect to something deeper is important. Something as simple as the three-breath journey might do that. It might do it sometimes better than simply pausing to be mindful of the situation. The mindfulness can still come after the three-breath journey to really tune in, but then the quality of the attention might be a little bit different—softer, or more caring.

Where is the love? Where is the care? Where is the kindness? Where is the friendliness? Where is the generosity? Where is the respect? Where is the reverence? Where is valuing yourself, your own well-being? Respecting yourself, caring for yourself, so that you don't perpetuate unnecessary stress, tension, hostility, criticism, and anxiety by living on automatic pilot and not questioning it. Drop down and offer love to yourself in all the challenges that you face. Life is challenging; sooner or later it's challenging for everyone. It doesn't mean we can't stop briefly to love, appreciate, and respect ourselves.

Thank you. I hope that this week on bringing love to bear, letting it inform how we go through challenges, is useful for you. I appreciated the chance to talk about it. Thank you.

Announcements

I'll be here Monday through another week, and then the following week Nikki Mirghafori^[4] is going to come back and do the 7:00 AM teaching. Slowly we're warming up and picking up the activities we have here in person at IMC^[5]. If you're living close enough to come to IMC, you might want to check out the calendar or check out "what's new" and see what's here.

Tonight we have the beginning of the parents' group meeting again that we used to have, and we have things on Saturday and all kinds of things. It's been wonderful to see people coming back here. It's been three years where there hasn't been that much activity here. So thank you, and may you be well.