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Introduction

Hello, and welcome, dear sangha. Lovely to be with you, if not in space, then in time. If you're listening to this later, it is lovely to practice together however it may be.

For the theme for tonight's happy hour, I'd like to invite us to explore a particular perspective—a perception of the way we see ourselves and the way we see others—and to shift it a little bit. From this shift in perspective, which I will name in a moment, a sense of metta^[1], kindness, or compassion can feel different.

The shifted perspective that I'd like to invite us to explore, and that I will guide us in during the guided meditation, is this: We often see ourselves or lean into the way our minds focus on the negative, on what's challenging, on the dukkha^[2] and the suffering. We have this narrative, which is perfectly fine—we're human beings, and this is how we've come to be evolutionarily. In our self-narrative, we often narrate what we want to do, what didn't get done, or we go over and over what we did. We focus on things that didn't go well, so there's often a stickiness with what's unpleasant, what has been difficult and dissatisfying^[3], or what I would call our brokenness. Yes, our brokenness—we often lean into that.

Again, evolutionarily, those ancestors who leaned into the pleasant didn't live long enough to pass on their genes. But the ones who were more afraid—they were the ones who lived long enough to pass on their genes. Evolutionarily, it all makes sense. And yet, in terms of our personal experience, we tend to see ourselves as human beings who are fallible and not perfect. We are working towards goodness, but we often forget our beauty and our goodness.

Happy Hour: Angelic Perceptions of Self & Others

To balance that perspective, what I'd like to invite us to lean into tonight is to see our magnificence, our inner goodness, our brilliance. Not intelligence or smarts, but just this brightness. To see it as if we were an angel. You can use the word or the concept "angel" if you like that, or you can use "as if we were a Buddha within," or "there's the Buddha within us." I want to be flexible with the language so you can see what works for you. Or maybe there's a Kuan Yin^[4] within; see what works for you.

For this, I use the word "angel" because there's something bright about it. Again, I am not making any assertions about the nature of reality, but rather these inner angelic qualities of goodness, service, brightness, and an open, loving heart. What if we saw ourselves as an angel? As an angel who means well, who means to serve, to love, to protect, to be kind, and to guide? What if we leaned into that vision? How would we see ourselves? How would we behave? How would we hold ourselves, our intentions, our mistakes, our aspirations, our work, our daily life, and our interactions with others?

When we wake up in the morning, we could say, "Okay, I'm doing angels' jobs. This is my work today. As an angel, this is what I do." And then how would we see others in the world? As other angels, here to serve, to be kind, to love, to protect. How would our relationship shift to our minds and to our hearts? How would we show up? This might be a sorely needed corrective compared to how we often go about our days and the way we perceive ourselves.

[Laughter]

That's cute. On YouTube, Pat says, "An entry-level angel." Maybe that's fine. Entry-level is fine; just whatever works. [Laughter]

So, dear angels, let's practice together. Let's take on these different perspectives and see how they might shift and guide our practice of loving-kindness, compassion, and more. Perspectives are a dime a dozen; we can choose our perspectives, right? Let's try this on and see what might shift. Maybe some habitual patterns of self-judgment will get loosened a little bit. Maybe we'll give ourselves a break. Maybe we'll love ourselves and others a little more easily. Let's try this on for size.

Guided Meditation

I'd like to invite you to sit comfortably, whether sitting or lying down, in a position where you can be for the next 30 minutes with ease.

Allow the back to have a sense of integrity, to be straight but not over-efforting. Imagine it's being pulled up—as if there is a magnet on top of your head pulling up your back, vertebra by vertebra. Your neck and shoulders can completely relax.

Let your feet and your sit bones be connected to the earth, releasing your earthly weight, your angelic weight, onto this earth.

As always, we start by just grounding in the body. With each and every breath, breathing in or rather being breathed, let it be natural. Let it be received. Receive the in-breath; release the out-breath.

As thoughts arise, it's not a problem. They will arise. It's okay. For the sake of this training together, smilingly tell them, "Thank you, and not now. Please come back later." There's no need for self-judgment. Let there be kindness and ease in your body, in your heart, with yourself, and with the thoughts that arise. They're not adversaries, just untimely right now. It's okay. Later. Thank you.

Let the breath in the body and the abdomen be center stage. The breath is readily received in the abdomen, not in the control tower of the head. It's as if the body is an organ of perception. Received. Soothing, calming. The out-breath is released. Landing here, now.

Here, now. Not now, dear thoughts, just simply here. Let it be enjoyed. Let it be delicious, this moment of just sitting, being breathed. Let it be nourishing to your heart, gladdening your heart-mind.

Now, I'd like to invite you, while we stay embodied—feeling the body, the breath, the body relaxed—to bring to your heart a kind act you offered to someone. The way you helped them, supported them. Maybe a phone call with a friend, a patient ear, a gift, a donation to a cause you care about. Some act of kindness, generosity, or patience. Bring it to your heart-mind. Let yourself relish the goodness. See how it perhaps affected the other being or beings, and how it brings gladness to your heart. This release, this generosity, this giving away. Let yourself relax into feeling this goodness. It is wholesome to relish goodness. It expands our heart and brings more goodness, more kindness, more generosity.

For this moment—you can always go back to the other perceptions later—let it expand. See yourself as kind, as generous. Let these qualities be felt brightly, as a slice out of time. See yourself as an angel: generous, kind, patient. The angelic qualities of service and care.

If your thoughts get in the way—"Oh no, I'm selfish and not so good, there's nothing angelic about me"—wait a minute. Don't believe those self-judging thoughts. Let them go. They're just thoughts; you don't have to believe them. Don't get in your own way. Experiment. An angel serving, helping, supporting other angels, but first leaning into your own angelic nature. Know that your growth as an angel, your freedom, is not independent of others. It's bound with others. So, your giving, your generosity, is not just to help them; it is to free your own heart. It is to give your wings more lift. It is to uplift you as much as it is to uplift others.

Let yourself see yourself as kind, as generous in acts of service, not self-centered. Let yourself see yourself in this way. Again, we can always go back to the other way at the end of the hour, but right now, experiment. See what might open up in your heart and your mind. Maybe there can be more freedom in not being attached to fixed views of yourself and others.

Play around with this image of yourself. Maybe your daily tasks, your work, your cleaning, your dishwashing—whatever it is you do—becomes angel's work. Your work isn't just a profession or a way to earn a livelihood, but a way to serve, to grow, to earn your wings. It gives it more meaning and dimensionality. This angel, doing angel's work.

Angels, like humans, are impermanent. We have limited time to love, to serve, to give, to do this angel's work in this realm, on this earth. This earth, which is sacred. The only planet we have to live on, to love, to grow on.

And seeing others as angels... their goodness, their beauty, their kindness, their freedom is bound up with yours. Their angel wings, their angel rank, is bound up with yours. Let yourself receive graciously so other angels can give and be kind, and earn their wings, just as you do.

See your own goodness. Goodness that is more magnificent, brighter than you can ever imagine. Give yourself credit for it. Let it be expressed.

Notice, from this perspective as we play around with perceptions, if it becomes easier, or if it shifts how accessible kindness, metta, and warmth are for yourself, appreciating your own goodness. Does compassion become more accessible for this being who is you? The ways that you suffer, the things that are hard for you—this angel who's trying their best. Things can be hard in this body and this mind sometimes. It's okay. It's okay, dear.

How does this shift in perspective change kindness and metta for others? If you see them as angels, see their goodness, their acts of service, their kindness.

You can stay with this perspective, or you can release it and see what is here. See how the residue might have shifted things or opened things up for you, perhaps in unexpected ways. Can you accept the grace that is to be human? The grace of living. Having joys and sorrows. Being kind, serving, helping, or acting in ways that are far from your angelic nature—and learning from them, returning, learning, and growing. It's enough to be human. It's actually quite profound to be human. How awesome. How amazing.

May our practice, the wholesomeness and goodness of our cultivation, serve this angel, this human who is me, who is us, as well as all other angels and humans in freedom and waking up. May all beings be free.

Reflections and Q&A

Hello, angels. Welcome back. We have some time for reflections.

Christine says, "Every time a bell rings, an angel gets its wings." That's great. I'm going to ring the bell a lot then.

Claire, I see your hand is raised. Please.

Claire: Mine's short, but all your references to angels made me immediately think—I do practice Christianity, and I love music—there's a hymn that I've always adored. The main lyric is, "This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine." It's so sweet and very much in the spirit of what you're talking about.

Nikki: Yeah, exactly. Thank you for that, Claire. I've brought that in sometimes in the past during similar practices: let your light shine. Exactly, this little light of mine, or this big light of mine. Thank you, Claire.

Bill says, "I found the angel idea hard to accept, but then I thought, 'Assume a virtue, if you have it not.'^[5] After that, it was easier." Beautiful! Assume a virtue, if you have it not. That's lovely.

Aaron says on YouTube, "Well, as manifestations of the cosmos, we are sort of angels of love able to serve others." Absolutely, indeed. Able to serve others in many ways. That's exactly right. That's the spirit of this practice and the invitation for us to see ourselves a little differently—really see ourselves in this service-oriented way.

Oh, cute. Mary Christine says, "My bunny's ears are my wings." I love it. I love it, Mary Christine. That is so cute.

Any other reflections? Did this different perspective—seeing yourself as an angel and others as angels—shift something or open something up in your work, in your metta, and in your compassion for yourself and others? Any aha moments, questions, or complaints? Everything is welcome.

Catherine, please.

Catherine: Yeah, it's so interesting since I was not raised believing in angels, but there's something about an embodied cosmic experience that just feels really good. To feel myself as my body made of light, and then wings. When I imagine it, I feel that in my body. My chest opens. My neck and shoulders are often so tight, and it's just a gift to imagine—and not just imagine, but feel in my body—that blessing. So, thank you.

Nikki: That's lovely. Thank you so much for that. Exactly. My intention and hope, just as you said, wasn't to appeal to any religious views, but just to offer this different perspective. As humans, we have this idea of angels as these great, kind beings. The physicality that you expressed and experienced—just a different way of feeling uplifted, shifting, feeling different. Thank you so much for sharing that. I love that.

Dave says, "Thank you for this practice. It really spoke to me. I was washing windows yesterday and thinking that I want people to know that I love washing windows so that they might feel that love as they look through them." Oh, that's lovely. That is so beautiful. The sense of practice and the service aspect.

So, how about we turn our practice into small groups with other angels tonight? Meeting the rubber to the road. Can we show up just for a moment—again, we can go back to our humanness—with a sense of this goodness, this beauty, this expansiveness, and be with others in this small group for just a few minutes, six or seven minutes? Also, see the goodness in others. Hold them, see them as angels, and see how that perception might actually make how we serve and how we relate different.

Groups will be a size of three, roughly, and the invitation is to speak from your own experience. Just share one nugget for a minute, and then the next person can say a nugget. Anyone can say "pass," and you can just hold silent space if you wish, to see what it's like to engage in a space of kindness together in this way.

I'm going to create the breakout rooms. Again, only speaking from your own experience. Not managing, not commenting, just staying close to your own experience. I'm about to open the rooms. Take care of yourself, take care of each other in the rooms. Here we go.

[Breakout rooms commence]

Okay, welcome back everyone. The rooms are closed, and we have a few minutes left for any reflections. There are a couple of other reflections I wanted to share while you raise your hands.

Lisa on YouTube shared that in thinking of others as angels, it broke down some black-and-white thinking. Their angelic qualities may exist alongside their not-as-angelic qualities simultaneously, not just at different times. Yes, that makes sense. Thank you, Lisa. That's beautiful. I love that thinking of others as angelic breaks down the black-and-white quality.

Syria was talking about how her body felt stress and discomfort at some point, and the idea of being angels was appealing, but discomfort got in the way. It's okay. Discomfort doesn't have to get in the way. It could be an angel that's having body aches; it's not a problem. Can it be included?

Any other reflections? Maybe something that came up in the group. If you haven't spoken for a while, I'd love to hear from you. You can also type in the chat.

Neil?

Neil: First of all, I thought this was a lovely meditation. One thing that came up for me was I thought of someone who I'm having difficulty with at work. And, gee, it like... this didn't work for that. I mean, that was not the point of this meditation, so I dumped him and just moved on, right? It wasn't like he tainted the whole meditation. But someone else in my group mentioned a situation, an interaction with people they had found difficult. So I guess, what do you do when you run into those sticky situations when you're doing a meditation like this?

Nikki: Yeah, good question. There's a reason why these sticky situations come up, right? The mind is still around grappling with just finding a way to find peace with this sticky situation. The invitation, for example tonight, would be to ask if it's possible—and you said in the case that you tried, it was impossible to see them as angelic—but maybe what I would do is persist and try to see something kind they have done in the past, or that they're doing now. Not this sticky situation that is upsetting right now, but maybe they've been kind in the past. Maybe at work, maybe there's something they did—they gave you a compliment, just something kind. Or maybe to others; maybe they're on time, maybe that's one of their gifts, one of the ways they serve. Find something kind, some goodness about them.

Or maybe they have a family; they love their family. Can you see them as an angel loving their child, or loving their elderly parent, or loving their pet? Maybe find a way in.

And if it still doesn't work, it's okay. Then you just bow to it and realize that maybe this is very complicated and needs more time. So those are my invitations. Thank you so much.

So, dear angels, we've come to the end of happy hour. Spending this hour practicing together, cultivating a different way of seeing and being with ourselves first and foremost, and with others in the world. May our practice support ourselves and all beings everywhere. May all beings be free and happy.

Thank you all. Thank you so much.