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Brahmavihāras: Compassion (4 of 5)

Introduction

A really warm welcome again, and for some of you who don't know, I'm Diana Clark. I'm sitting in for Gil this morning while he's having cataract surgery. I know he's planning to be here tomorrow; we'll see what actually happens. So maybe we can all send some good wishes to Gil this morning.

Cultivating Compassion

I wanted to talk a little bit about cultivating compassion. As I said at the very beginning of the guided meditation, for me, it feels like such a remarkable thing that we don't have to be satisfied with our "factory setting," so to speak, with the way that our heart opens, has room for, or meets difficulties. Instead, we can cultivate, we can practice, we can develop compassion. It's a remarkable thing.

I think sometimes we underestimate the transformation that is possible with some practice. Certainly, the Buddha recognized this with mindfulness practice and with all these practices—with concentration practices, the Eightfold Path, and certainly with the brahmavihāra^[1] practices. They do make a difference, and they can be transformational in the same way that all other things that we learn can have an influence on us. Drop by drop into the water jug is how the water jug is filled, or something like that.

Each moment in which we spend time cultivating has an effect, even though we might not see it at that time. During meditation, just because we're creating the conditions in which compassion—or indeed loving-kindness or any brahmavihāra—might arise, doesn't mean that it is going to arise. We're just putting the conditions in place. Often, the impact or the effects of brahmavihāra practice isn't felt or seen on the cushion during the meditation. Instead, it shows up in our daily life as a way that slowly our default reaction to difficulties or different situations that we find ourselves in just starts to be one more of warmth and care.

So I just want to offer this: even though the meditation practice is certainly contrived, it's a purposeful way in which we can develop loving-kindness and compassion. Even though it might feel like, "Well, nothing's really happening during this meditation period," don't think that this isn't having an effect, or that it isn't creating the conditions for changes.

Certainly, that's been the case for me. I'll just share that since doing some regular brahmavihāra practice—loving-kindness and compassion, equanimity and sympathetic joy—I've noticed that I'm more often saying warm-hearted or funny things to myself when I notice that I'm making mistakes or when I forget something. Whereas before there used to be a tone of a little bit of disappointment or even some meanness, now there's some tenderness in this little inner voice when it speaks to myself: "Oh, Diana, it's okay." It's quite something.

The Love Child of Mettā and Dukkha

Earlier this week, Gil talked about compassion, or yesterday specifically, he spoke about it having different elements: there's contact with suffering, caring about the suffering, and being motivated to do something about the suffering. These different elements all come together. Of course, at different times there are different emphases, but I appreciate something very much that Jill Shepherd, a really great dharma teacher, has said. She said that compassion is the love child of mettā^[2] and dukkha^[3]. That is, compassion is what arises, what is born, when this warm-heartedness meets difficulties—someone else having difficulties, or ourselves having difficulties. So I like this idea of karuṇā^[4] (compassion) being the love child of mettā and dukkha.

The Buddha's Teaching on Compassion

I wanted to read a short little excerpt from the suttas^[5] that talks about expressing compassion, and one way that the Buddha described it showing up in the world. The Buddha says there are some who have given up a long list of things that aren't so helpful. This long list includes covetousness, ill will, irritability, hostility, offensiveness, contempt, jealousy, stinginess, deviousness, deceit, unhelpful desires, and wrong view.

So there are some who have given these up. And the Buddha continues, saying that when they have given these up, they are practicing the way that is proper for a practitioner who is a follower of his. He goes on and says that when they see themselves cleansed of these unskillful, unwholesome qualities, gladness springs up. There's a certain amount of gladness, like, "Oh, I don't have all those qualities anymore." And then when gladness arises, joy arises. When joy arises, tranquility arises. When tranquility arises, happiness arises. And when happiness arises, concentration arises.

With concentration, the person does loving-kindness practice. They meditate, spreading a heart full of love to one direction, to the second, to the third, and to the fourth direction. We might say this is to the east, to the south, to the west, to the north, and in the same way above, below, across, everywhere, and all around. They spread a heart full of love to the whole world: abundant, expansive, limitless, free of enmity and ill will.

I'll just say briefly, some of you may recognize that little sequence of getting rid of things that are unwholesome or unhelpful, which then goes into gladness, joy, tranquility, happiness, and concentration. You might recognize this as what Gil was calling Dharma, and he did a number of 7:00 a.m. talks on this, connecting that to this brahmavihāra practice.

But then this teaching from the Buddha goes on. After having some concentration and spreading loving-kindness, the teaching says: "And they meditate spreading a heart full of compassion in one direction, the second direction, third direction, the fourth direction." In the exact same way that was said about loving-kindness, it then goes to compassion.

Working with Hesitation and Fear

We can maybe translate the sutta, kind of operationalize it if you will. We can think about it as first letting go of what gets in the way of compassion, which is part of the way to cultivate it as best we can.

Some things that might get in the way of practicing compassion include having fear that we might be too overwhelmed when we meet suffering. Remember that compassion is when loving-kindness and warmth meet difficulties, and then this compassion and tenderness naturally arises. But of course, we might have some hesitation. We might have some reluctance initially to really meet the suffering. After all, we're hardwired to avoid meeting difficulties, so it's natural, and sometimes it's appropriate. Maybe it's not time for us to touch into the suffering of a lovable being or of our own, or maybe we just don't quite have the steadiness to meet the suffering of others.

Part of the way we can practice with this is to cultivate some mindfulness and clear seeing, so that we can first recognize whether our hesitation is just a knee-jerk reaction towards fear, or if it's just a natural hesitation. Mindfulness, stability of mind, and being present for what's happening can help us to become familiar with our own suffering. Often, what happens when we meet the suffering of others is that the unfinished business of our own hearts—to use an expression that Jack Kornfield uses—gets activated.

So maybe it's worthwhile to spend some time working with our own suffering to increase our capacity, as well as to gain some familiarity. When is our hesitation to meet suffering just a natural reaction, and when is it some real wisdom saying, "Now is not the time"?

Grounding and Warming the Heart

We can spend some time with mindfulness practice and maybe get some stability of mind, like we did in the guided meditation. In the sutta, if we use this word concentration, samādhi^[6] can also be translated as collectedness, non-distraction, or a sense of wholeness or integrity. In some ways, it might be like putting a keel in a sailboat. That big, long piece at the bottom of the sailboat helps prevent it from getting tipped over when it hits the winds of suffering. This is one way we can begin our practice and work with some of the difficulties we might have.

Then we might warm the heart. We might imagine having some kindling and lighting it; maybe sometimes it's paper things that can catch a flame quickly and easily. So we do some loving-kindness practice, starting where it's easy and allowing the heart to feel warm—maybe the coziness of sitting in front of some crackling flames in a really nice way.

Then we can imagine some difficulties that the lovable being is having, and allow the warmth that is already there to be transformed into tenderness and care. We are able to connect with the suffering, to care about it, and to have a willingness to do something about the suffering. Recognizing that at the moment we're sitting in meditation, it doesn't mean we're going to get up from our meditation and go fix things, but we recognize that sincere wish for their suffering to end.

Radiating Compassion

We can do this, as I said in the guided meditation, just using our imagination and tuning into the connection that we are having with a lovable being that is having difficulties, and just radiate compassion. That's what is in the suttas.

A later adaptation is to include phrases, which is very common today. I often use phrases, but sometimes I'm just radiating. You can play and experiment with different ways. Some phrases that might be helpful to use are, "May you be free from suffering," and "May you know peace," and you might have your own versions of that.

So this is a way in which we can practice compassion, cultivate it, and develop it by purposefully bringing it into our meditation practice. This will help us bring compassion when we meet difficulties in the world, either in ourselves or others.

I'm wishing you freedom from suffering and freedom from difficulties. But if you find that they do arise, may you have some warmth, tenderness, care, and compassion for yourself. And may our care, connection, and compassion for ourselves and for others benefit all beings everywhere. Thank you.