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Happy Hour: Compassionate Activism

Introduction

Okay, all right. So welcome you all, welcome everyone. Wonderful to see you. Always happy-making to come together with the sangha to practice. For tonight's practice, the theme I'd like to invite us to practice with has been requested. Both on Friday when we had our happy hour at the end, I stayed a few minutes extra for those who were here, and a very important question and conversation came about: how to hold compassion and equanimity with these hard practices, with very, very challenging times in the world. If you're in Ukraine, for example, how would you go about that? How would you hold that in your heart?

At the same time, another aspect of what I want to bring in tonight is from one of my students who sent me an email. Actually, I wanted to read part of their email asking—and as many of you know, I am Iranian, I was born in Iran, and there are very challenging times right now in my country of birth. So the student kindly wrote and asked: "In your talks, could you kindly suggest ways for Buddhist Iranians and Ukrainians who practice metta^[1] how to use their daily practice to bring more peace and love for themselves and others around them during these challenging times? Also, how to approach activism with metta?"

I so appreciate these questions because this practice that we cultivate, that we do together five times a week, is not just about easy times. It's not just about sitting and wishing well. It's also relevant, important, or perhaps even the most important practice in challenging times, whether our heart is breaking with the news of the world or if we are ourselves in challenging situations with injustice.

So, with this, I want to say a few words before we get into our practice tonight. I so appreciate these questions and the care that has come with the interest of how do we engage. Two aspects I wanted to address very briefly before we get into the practice. One is this concept of compassionate activism.

Activism with anger can be corrosive. This is something that many activists in the world know. Anger can bring up a lot of energy to do a lot in the world, but it's also corrosive. However, being an activist out of compassion brings people together. It sees all sides. Not to condone the harm, not to condone the pain, not to condone the injustice and the harm that's being done, but one gets to see the humanity of all sides. Again, not to condone, but compassionate activism really is the way through this.

Just to say a little bit about my own reaction, as I was reading the news from my homeland earlier tonight, from the country of my birth, I was grieving, and my heart was broken. I was grieving hearing how peaceful activists in an elite university in Iran were beaten up and taken away with a lot of violence. What I noticed coming up for me was grieving for the pain of the people who were hurt, as well as grieving for the perpetrators, for their karma, for the pain that they are causing.

So there is grief. With compassionate activism, there is a sense of grief and sadness, and compassion for all sides. It's not a separating of us against them. Of course, it is not condoning the harm. And there is action. There is action, but it doesn't come from a place of hatred. It comes from a place of love. And of course, the action might be: "This is not right. This is not appropriate. Stop." As a way of defending and not allowing the harm to happen. However, it comes from a place of love for everyone involved, not a place of hatred.

I acknowledge that this is a very, very high bar to set. And yet, this is a high bar that the Buddha sets in the sutta, the Simile of the Saw^[2]. I'm sorry, this is a very graphic description, but he says that if bandits are cutting off your arms and legs, still, if you are following my teachings, you will have compassion, you will have metta even in that moment for them. So for all sides. Again, you'll protect yourself. You won't be like, "Oh yeah, just do anything." You will protect yourself with all your might. So compassion doesn't mean that you become a wet noodle or you become submissive. But that act of protection, that act of resistance comes from a place of care and love.

Similarly, as one witnesses what is happening with a sense of grief and a broken heart, with compassionate activism also comes a need for holding oneself with care. Because if you're watching and you are off-kilter, there's not much that you can do. You can't do your activism. You can't be a force for the good in the world. You will just be wallowing and lost in grief and turmoil. So wisdom needs to come in to bring some equanimity to hold the compassion so that there is some stability to be able to engage in compassionate activism.

There's a lot more to say. This feels like such a brief introduction and it might even bring up more questions than answers. But I want to make sure we have enough time for our practice tonight. Well, this is practice too, listening to the Dharma and sharing the Dharma, and yet I do want to make sure that we have time for meditating. So let's turn to meditation, and we'll have time for discussion and questions afterwards.

Guided Meditation

So I'd like to invite you to land.

Landing in your body, in this moment in time, in this impermanent moment in time. Landing, arriving. Letting go of thoughts, letting go of preoccupations for this moment, just so that you can settle. So that you can have an anchor. So that you can have stability to respond wisely, compassionately, to what arises in the heart and in the world.

So for the benefit of a wise response, we choose to let go in this moment of all thinking preoccupations. There's nothing wrong with thinking, with planning, but in this moment we give them away and settle.

In this moment feeling the body stable, well rooted. Upright. A sense of integrity in the body. The feet well rooted to the earth, connected to the earth. As the Buddha said with the gesture with the earth mudra on the night of his enlightenment: "Earth be my witness. I am here, I belong here." Claiming, reclaiming your place on this earth.

And letting your torso be upright. A sense of integrity, sitting tall like a mountain. Even if there's sadness, if your heart is breaking, there is stability in the body to hold it all. Stability in the posture.

Letting the breath move through. Calm, settle, nourish. Nourish your heart. If you are not nourished, if you don't have calm, stability, you cannot be of support to anyone. So calming the heart, calming the mind as much as possible with the breath, feeling nourished in this moment.

Taking a bird's-eye view of humanity, of all the comings and goings of generations. At this moment, this experience, this breath is part of the stream of humanity. Can it be a breath, can it be a moment of calm, of care? Not of anguish. To support more love, to support more care in the world. Less hatred, more stability, more friendliness. Less othering.

Can this breath, this moment of this experience here, my experience, be an offering? Be an offering of peace, of care to all humans, all beings? May all beings everywhere, whoever they are, whatever their conditions, seeing their humanity, seeing that in their value system they're doing the best they can. They're doing the best they can.

Wishing clear seeing. Wishing a compassionate heart for everyone. May all beings be awake to see each other's humanity. May all humans see that we are not so different. We all want to be happy. To be free, not to suffer.

Breathing peace. As if with each breath, we breathe in peace into our heart. The moment of peace and offering of peace, and breathing out peace unto the world. If only our breathing, breathing out peace and goodness could calm, could soothe the pain of the world. Bring peace, ease. Let me share with each breath a wish for peace.

And as if our heart could transform the pain, the injustice in the world, each breath breathed in, as if the challenges, the pain, the suffering... breathing into the heart center, transform this heart of goodwill, this heart of care for the world. Breathing out goodwill for all beings everywhere. Especially the places in the world where there is strife right now. There's pain, there is war, there's unrest.

To all sides, not condoning the harm, not condoning the hurt. The perpetrators are also harmed. They're harming themselves. It's so painful. Harming others impacts one severely. So compassion for everyone, for all sides. Not condoning the injustice, that needs to stop and be stopped.

And with each breath, not with anger but with love, transforming the pain in the world. Each breath in, the heart center, as if the pain gets incinerated, gets transformed into a soothing light of goodwill, compassion. Breathing in, breathing out cool, calm, love, care.

And if this practice of letting challenges be breathed into the heart center, transformed, and breathed out seems difficult—this practice of tonglen^[3]—it's okay to just breathe in peace and breathe out peace. Breathing in peace, breathing out peace.

If only this breath could bring peace to those who are suffering right now. Wishing well with each and every breath. So many people suffering. Sharing care, kindness, goodwill, compassion feels both the suffering but meets it with goodwill. It's not just empathic distress. Breathing in peace, breathing out peace, love, care.

Imagining that each breath is bringing comfort, soothing, hope, restoring. Soothing, calming all who are hurting.

And if at any point it seems too much, and the practice of compassion has veered into empathic distress, and it's no longer compassion but just feeling the pain, it's okay to turn to your own heart with compassion, with care. Feeling peace with each breath, a sense of stability, equanimity.

Expanding your view, expanding the view of your heart. The bird's-eye view of humanity. All the challenges, all the goodnesses in this being human. Comings and goings. Touching into equanimity. Offering this moment as a gift of peace to the stream, to the ocean of humanity, past, present, future.

We have come a long way as humans. We still have a long way to go. Can we cultivate this moment to be a moment of goodwill, kindness, peace, as a gift, as an offering to so many moments of human experience? The tide has been turning over generations towards more compassion and wisdom. Humanity at large is kinder. Historians, philosophers tell us the tide is turning slowly. Slowly let this cultivation, at this moment, of goodwill for all beings everywhere, be an offering to turn the tide. If we hate, if we join in hating, we are not so different from those whose ways we want to change. Don't give in to hatred.

Wishing well. Wishing well-being, freedom from pain, sorrow for all beings everywhere, including this being that is yourself. With each breath. With each breath offering: may all beings everywhere be free from suffering. All beings. May all beings be well. May all beings be free.

May all beings, including this one, the being who is me, be well. Be happy. Have peace. Be kind. Be loving and wise.

Wishing well. Wishing peace with each breath. As if our hearts, our goodwill could bring comfort and succor. Could bring comfort to all beings. Radiating out our goodwill. Radiating, all beings will come in contact with the beams of metta, goodwill. May they be calmed. May their hearts be touched. May there be a moment of lightness, ease. May their challenge be lightened. Feeling touched by the power of this radiating compassion, goodwill.

Ryōkan said, "Oh, if my monk's robes were wide enough. If only they were wide enough to cover all the suffering beings in this world." As if our robes, our cloth, was wide enough to cover, to comfort. A wide blanket of metta, karuṇā^[4], compassion. Bring succor to all the hurting beings in the world.

As we bring this practice period, this sit, to a close, wishing all beings everywhere, especially those in war zones living under oppression and strife, wishing them ease, freedom, happiness. May all beings everywhere be free, including ourselves. Thank you.

Q&A and Reflections

Thanks everyone. Thank you for your practice. I appreciate all of you coming together and practicing in this way. Not turning away, not turning away.

So, do we have time for reflections, questions, discussion, conversation? You can raise your Zoom hand, please. You can also type your reflections, your questions, your complaints in chat. You can type them to me privately, in which case I won't read your name, only your question or reflection. Or you can type them to everyone, in which case I might read your name as well.

Easy says, "Thank you from Malaysia." Thank you, Easy, for practicing, joining on YouTube. Any reflections, questions?

Radha?

Radha: First of all, I just want to say thank you so much for the guidance. Something that came up for me during it was this story that I remember from the Philippines during the Marcos dictatorship. There was this turning point in the overturning of the dictatorship where there were hundreds of thousands of women gathered facing these soldiers. It was mostly mothers of that age, and they were facing these soldiers, and they just started chanting "I love you" to the soldiers. It brings up a lot of emotion for me. That was a really big turning point, and what happened after that was that Marcos actually lost support from those soldiers. The rest is history, as they say. I found that coming up for me. I think during the meditation I was feeling a lot of empathic distress, and I found that energy of those mothers, and that quality of the strength of just "I love you"—I found that gave me a lot of strength. So I just wanted to shout out thank you so much.

Nikki Mirghafori: Radha, thank you for sharing that powerful story and the turning point. I'm so touched. Thank you also for sharing what came up for you with this sense of feeling all sides, both sides, and really that sense of "I love you," and how that can be the turning point. I'm so happy to hear that was the turning point when Marcos lost power, and may it be the turning point for what's happening in my country of birth. May it be so through love, not through hatred. Thank you, Radha.

Jamie, please.

Jamie: Thank you for this, Nikki. Boy, just such big topics. You know, it actually is fairly easy for me to extend compassion to an oppressor or someone perpetrating violence because I know there are conditions that led to their actions. Which makes me much more hopeless, actually, because I don't need to counter that person, I need to counter the conditions that led to his or her actions, and that seems a lot more complex and a lot harder.

Nikki Mirghafori: It actually isn't, and I'm so glad you raised this, Jamie. This is fantastic because the causes and conditions that gave rise to what happened are three things: greed, hatred, and confusion, delusion. Not knowing any better, not knowing what causes happiness, what causes goodness in the world. So it's really these three, right? I'm reminded of Joseph Goldstein, who shared that watching documentaries of the world wars, it came up for him that all the aggression, all the killing and dying, it's all the expression of these three roots of greed, hatred, and delusion in individuals. So when you say hopeless, actually it makes me more hopeful! Because here you are practicing love, and when you see, "Oh yeah, I can love the perpetrator, I can see the conditions," you're already changing the conditions in you. So you're already dispelling greed, hatred, and delusion, and that is hope right there. It's one person at a time.

Jamie: I'm not at a point right now where I can see how those three things cause all the pain that is inflicted on people. It just seems to me like a lot of the time it's out of love for a parent who modeled behavior that was internalized and became embodied, without ill intent necessarily. So I don't know what to do with that.

Nikki Mirghafori: Let me ask you to repeat that. A long chat came through and there was a crux of something you said that I missed. Tell me, what is that part?

Jamie: Well, I just think of, let's take a soldier in Iran who's beating a protester. His actions might have been a result of the love for his parents who had very strong beliefs and a certain set of behavior that he took on board and emulated and internalized. I don't see how that is greed, hatred, or delusion.

Nikki Mirghafori: Yeah, it is delusion. Let me explain. Thank you for repeating that. The delusion is not seeing our common humanity. That is a delusion. When you don't see that the person you're hitting or beating is just like you, and you're beating them up, and not being able to take their place, not being able to empathize and see and listen to them. Othering—that is a delusion. The delusion of othering, in the fundamental sense. So thank you for that, Jamie.

Let's see. Hugh says, "Compassionate activism equals nonviolent resistance as taught by Martin Luther King, Mahatma Gandhi, and Thich Nhat Hanh." Yes.

And Dave says, "Thank you, Nikki. It's tempting to direct our gaze over there and point the finger of blame at an 'other,' especially when the media are full of stories of the official enemies du jour. But as the land acknowledgments remind us, we in the U.S. are seen as the perpetrators of genocidal violence. Before we accuse others, let us take a look at ourselves."

Yes, it's everywhere. Absolutely, it's everywhere, Dave. It's something your note points out, and I was also trying in taking perspective, the big perspective of this moment. A moment in the wider humanity, of so much perpetration of violence, etc., which has, again, as historians and philosophers tell us, we've become kinder as humans, and of course we still have a long way to go. Yet, yes, let's not turn our gaze; there's plenty here.

Karina, "What days do I teach?" I teach Monday, Wednesday, Friday.

I wonder actually, it's 6:51, whether tonight, given this topic, it makes sense to stay in the big group. That's actually my feeling right now, that we stay in the big group and tonight we skip the small breakouts. Let me know if you like the idea of staying in the big group. Give me a thumbs up or something and I'll count the number of thumbs up. Okay, I see lots of thumbs up. Okay, we're going to stay in the big group tonight. So we'll take more questions and reflections.

I do want to go back to the question that was put in chat: "What should we wish for the knowing perpetrators of violence and suffering?" I think in a way that was already handled, it came through Jamie's question. It's really to wish that they get to see—and it was also reflected in Radha's reflection—that they get to see that they are loved and they can love, they see the common humanity. This is what I wish for the perpetrators of violence, past, present, and future.

A couple more messages. I agree. Stanford group, thumbs up. Okay, I see that. One person says, "Thank you, I was able to do tonglen tonight when in the past I couldn't." Great, delighted to hear that.

Let me read Jamie's comment: "Maybe the delusion in the example I gave of the Iranian soldier is not seeing that they have other options than the ones their parents and role models gave them." Yep, that too. That too. There's so many ways to see our common humanity. Lovely. Jerry, I see your hand. Please.

Jerry: Just a comment. I read in one of the news services when the initial war started in Ukraine, at least in February, that the Russian soldiers were finding it hard to attack people that spoke their same language. This issue, of course, for me as a psychiatrist is because they see them as human beings and they're not speaking gibberish to them, because they're speaking the language of Russian that both of them overlap. It got to me about your comment about delusion. It helps if you dehumanize the person that you're attacking. So that's my only comment.

Nikki Mirghafori: Exactly. And yeah, that is the delusion of dehumanizing, of othering. "They're different, they're bad," whatever different narratives, right? That's how it's happened so often in the history of humanity, unfortunately. One group dehumanizes the other, or maybe the people in power do that to stay in power.

A couple of comments from YouTube. John says on YouTube, "The challenges that are so real in the northern hemisphere seem a long way away from New Zealand. So thanks for guidance to be there now with love for all the people there and here." Thank you, John, for joining from New Zealand, really appreciate it.

Serena, I'm going to ask you to unmute, please.

Serena: Yes, thank you. It was really difficult, I have to say, to be honest with you. Tonight's meditation was very difficult for me. What I'm really very aware of is that it is really tough to deal with suffering in any shape or form. Yesterday I had to go and visit my uncle—well, I chose to do that—who is in a nursing home type of facility. He hasn't been doing well for a long time. I had to really get my courage up to go and visit and to be with somebody who has very little control over his body and to be there for him. So what I'm trying to say is, in my own personal life, I'm just having difficulty just being there for other people who are suffering or are in very, very difficult situations. Honestly, for example, when the war in Ukraine happened, I was really activated, I sent medical supplies, etc., but it's just hard...

Nikki Mirghafori: I get your question, Serena. In the benefit of time, given that two other people also have their hands raised, I hear you. This is hard. This is hard, people are suffering, and as you said, it already takes a lot of courage to be with suffering which is close. That is close to you, people you care about. And yay for doing so. And people that are far away. It seems overwhelming, right?

So this is what I recommend as a practice for you to build that courage, to build that stability for you to both be with people who are close to you, to show up for them, and far away. When it starts to feel overwhelming, to support yourself with equanimity, with expanding your view. Get your balance, get a sense of stability. And that's what we did tonight. I know it was a hard practice, and I went back and forth between equanimity, stabilizing on the equanimity, and then when there's a sense of "okay, peace is here," then opening up again. Titrating. And again, "oh, this is overwhelming," going back to equanimity. That's the way you can expand your capacity, Serena, to be with suffering. It's not going to happen overnight, but little by little you're going to expand your capacity, and it will both serve you in your own humanity and serve others. Thank you for raising that. Appreciate it. Thank you.

Charles Lee, please.

Charles Lee: Oh, hi. Yeah, thanks Nikki. I guess what stood out for me during practice was really the reminder to wish well for myself. "May all beings not have suffering, including myself." I just really felt it this evening. Just a good reminder to, in some ways, be selfish, but in a skillful, wholesome way that allows me to show up a lot better for my family. I've had to tell my kids, "You know, Daddy needs to eat something before he can help you. Give him five minutes to get some calories, he'll be a much nicer Daddy."

Nikki Mirghafori: Beautiful. Beautiful, I love that. Thank you, Charles Lee, thank you so much for bringing that into the space. It is so important. It's wise selfishness, let's call it. Or maybe it's wise taking care of oneself. I mean, really, you have to take care of yourself before you take care of others. And in this guided meditation, of course, you need to be included. Compassion is 360. Especially if you feel that "oh yes, this overwhelming is too much." Okay, come back. Calm, sweetheart. It's okay. It's all right. Calm, soothing. Because if you don't have the capacity, if you are incapacitated, you can't be available for anyone. So of course you have to take care of yourself. So thank you so much for highlighting that, and that's so important in compassionate activism and just caring for others, caring for your family. Beautiful. Thanks again.

And Diana, it is seven o'clock, so please, it needs to be brief.

Diana: Oh, never mind, I can't be that brief, so...

Nikki Mirghafori: Oh, okay. So tell you what, we're going to respect people's time and close, but I'm going to stay extra afterwards to hear you out. Okay?

Alright, so I want to thank you all. Thank you so much for coming to happy hour to practice compassion, care for the world, for ourselves, turning the tide little by little by little. One breath at a time. Thank you so much. May you be well. May all beings be well. May all beings be free. Thanks everyone, take good care.