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Guided Meditation: Meditating with Courage

So good evening those of you here and on the West Coast, and hello to everyone else wherever you are. I am happy to be here, to have a chance to be here on Monday evening. For a good part of the last thirty years, I've come down to teach these Monday evening talks, so they're quite close to my heart. I appreciate this opportunity.

For the meditation this evening, I would like to suggest an idea that you're welcome to ignore if it doesn't work for you. But the idea is that you would practice mindfulness during this next thirty minutes or so, and to do it with courage. If you have any indication that there's fear, sit with courage. You might be surprised by the layers of fear that we go through. As the mind relaxes, it's like going through the layers of the mind, the layers of the heart. Not uncommonly, there are places of fear in certain layers or certain corners. Try not to see it as a mistake, or as an indication that something's wrong with you or wrong with anything, but rather see it as something for this period of time, something to sit with.

Sit with courage—a courage that maybe also allows you to do it with the heart. Cœur^[1], in French; the word courage comes from heart. It is the kind of courage that keeps your heart open, keeps you present and aware and willing to experience what's here for you. This is not the courage of bracing yourself or steeling yourself through something, but rather the courage to be present for whatever is, to be present kindly, but with a kindness that's strong. To sit with courage.

Begin by assuming a meditation posture that has some qualities or characteristics of courage, a posture that evokes some courage for you. If you're sitting, maybe sit a little more upright, confidently. Adjust your neck so that it also somehow has space at the back, allowing for a kind of strength and courage. Maybe the chest is a little bit expanded—not proudly, not effortfully, but just as you sit up straight, allow the chest to expand in a confident way. Do this in a way that perhaps brings your heart to the forefront. The sensitivity, the emotional sensitivity that is there in your heart, is awakened.

Then gently close your eyes and take some long, slow, deep breaths. See if it's possible to do so with a sense of courage or strength. Perhaps, to use a dangerous concept, even with some sense of power. The power of presence. The power of showing up and being present here and now. As you exhale, relax without giving up the strength and the courage, relaxing whatever tension is unnecessary. Soften, relax.

Let your breathing return to normal. If it's available, maybe you'll feel a gentleness in the breathing. The cycle of breathing might feel gentle, soft, peaceful. Courage and strength can coexist with this tenderness, softness, and gentleness of the breathing. Gently relax on the exhale.

Relax the mind. Relax and quiet your thinking so there's more room and awareness to show up and be present here in this body, with courage and strength. And with peacefulness and gentleness. Breathing in and breathing out.

As we come to the end of the sitting, can you tap into a place of quiet courage and strength? The courage not to assert yourself on the world, but the courage to show up fully. Be present for yourself, all of who you are. Be present for others, for all of who they are.

When there's some courage, perhaps it's easier also to have respect for oneself and to have respect for others. May we, as we come out of this meditation, aspire to be present for others and for ourselves with a steady presence, with attentiveness, listening, and curiosity.

May all beings be happy. May all beings be safe. May all beings be peaceful. And may all beings everywhere be free.

The Gift of Fearlessness

So hello. On this evening of the Martin Luther King Jr. holiday, I would like to read a quote of his:

"People fail to get along because they fear each other; they fear each other because they don't know each other; they don't know each other because they have not communicated with each other."

Someone read this to me or posted this just a couple of hours ago, and I was struck by it. Thinking of Martin Luther King as a great champion for nonviolent civil disobedience and nonviolent protest, I remembered that my first real interest in Buddhism was when I was a freshman in college. I was of the age that could be drafted for the war in Vietnam, so that was a big topic of discussion with the other freshmen. I always had what seemed to be the extreme pacifist position. I didn't believe in war and wasn't going to fight in a war.

I had this very strong pacifist ideal, but I didn't think of this kind of pacifism as being passive, or as doing nothing. I felt that to live up to this ideal, I had to be willing to put my life on the line at a protest or to confront some of the injustices in society. And I recognized that I was afraid to do so. I didn't feel good about having fear and not living up to my ideals.

I searched around for how to address this fear. I don't think I had any strong rational reasons^[2] for this, but for some reason, I came upon Buddhist practice, seeing that this was the way to find how to work with this fear, to work through it. It didn't propel me into the world of practice immediately—that was still a year or two away—but it was my first real interest.

To hear this wonderful quote from Martin Luther King today about fear, that people fear each other, I think he's saying something very important: sometimes the assertion of power over others, sometimes hate, and mistrust can have their roots in fear. There are many things that we fear. I think it's a hugely pervasive attitude; many people have anxiety. Part of Buddhist practice is to encounter that fear, to meet that fear, to learn to be present for it, and to not cower from it, but rather to show up for it. It is to really find a place within that has the capacity to be with fear without succumbing to it. Part of the wonderful possibility of meditation and mindfulness is to learn how to show up in a strong way, how to be present in a strong way to what is challenging and difficult, including fear.

Life is very different if we are not influenced by our fear. Now, there are certainly things to be appropriately afraid of, and Buddhism recognizes that there is appropriate fear and inappropriate fear, skillful fear and unskillful fear. Compromising our ethical integrity is something to be appropriately afraid of. Succumbing to hatred or greed is something to be appropriately afraid of. But succumbing to anxiety and to our imagination of what we think is dangerous is not appropriate; it's not helpful. Being able to distinguish between the fear that's appropriate and the fear that's inappropriate is part of the benefit that comes from stopping and taking a good look at fear, understanding what it's about. Is it about the future? If it's about the future, how much does the imagination play a role, and how strong is your imagination?

Sometimes the imagination is so strong that its tendrils reach down into our muscles and activate them with fear sensations and fear contractions, making the fear feel so much more real. It doesn't feel like it's imaginary; it feels real because the imagination has triggered a real response in the body. This is not to be dismissive of the power of fear or the challenge of fear, and it's certainly not to be dismissive of fear itself. Fear maybe should always be seen as a messenger—a messenger that something here needs attention.

Sometimes what needs attention is what's in the world. As Martin Luther King said, if we don't know each other, we can be afraid of each other. The fear of others might be a message that we should get to know the other person. I've had many negative feelings for people, but by going and talking to them, I'm surprised how quickly they go away. Sometimes that can happen with people we're afraid of. Occasionally, it's because we have a reason to be afraid, and we have the wisdom to know when it's appropriate. But sometimes we can act counterphobically, showing up and saying, "Can you tell me what's happening? Can I get to know you? Let me tell you something about myself."

Fear is a multifaceted, complicated thing. One of the things we want to be careful of when we are mindful is not to see fear as a mistake, or as an indication that we're bad or that something is wrong, but rather as a sign of something that we want to show up for. Sometimes we want to show up for ourselves, as there are layers of fear within ourselves that really could use our attention.

The attention that I've learned is most helpful for the layers of fear within us is the attention that helps the fear feel safe. It helps the fear feel like it's not being dismissed, seen as wrong, or treated as something we're trying to escape and run away from. It is an awareness, an attention, a mindfulness that holds the fear and is present for it. The image that has been very valuable for me is taking my hands, cupping them together, coming underneath something, and just holding it there. Coming underneath, touching the fear, holding the fear, helping the fear rest in the palms of awareness, and then breathing with the fear.

Meditation is a fantastic place to do this because, hopefully, when we sit and meditate, in that time there's nothing to fear. There are no external dangers threatening us, so maybe it's a place where it's safe enough to offer this kind of attention to fear and see what it opens up to and where it takes us. Sometimes it takes us deeper and deeper into ourselves, and sometimes it takes us into the ability, the strength, and the courage to talk to others, get to know them better, and hopefully let them get to know us better.

I wonder how often people's despair or upset about what's happening in the world is based on fear that is reasonable enough to have, but the fear is unduly influencing us. Somehow we've allowed the fear to take over, as opposed to having the fear accompany us. I learned some years ago that I had fear, and I just imagined the fear was sitting on my shoulder. It accompanied me through a situation that had some danger involved. I was not afraid, but fear was present for me. I didn't think I would be able to not be afraid—to not have the fear—but I knew how to not let the fear take over. So I just imagined it was sitting on my left shoulder, acting as my companion as I went through the dangers.

One of the possibilities with mindfulness practice is to cultivate a new relationship with fear, a new relationship with anxiety. It is one in which fear doesn't somehow have an impact on us because we show up strong enough, courageous enough, that we're able to be present and breathe with it without necessarily believing it, identifying with it, or taking it on. We do this without letting all the muscles contract and react around the fear, which only accentuates it.

What if the gift that we are able to give the world is the gift of fearlessness? What this means in Buddhism is giving people the gift that they don't have to be afraid of us. Rather than being so focused on our own fear, one way to put the fear up on its place on the left shoulder is to turn the whole fear thing around and offer ourselves to the world as someone that others do not have to be afraid of. To offer the gift of fearlessness.

There's also a gift of fearlessness for ourselves, that we do not fear. When we don't fear others, that's a gift to them as well. It's not a healthy thing to have anxiety and fear for others. Now, there are times where it's appropriate to be afraid of others if they are dangerous, but there are plenty of times when the social fears we have are not as appropriate as the emotion believes. Maybe we don't have to succumb to it. So we can learn how to give ourselves the gift of fearlessness, either by not having the fear or by having a strength and a presence where we recognize the fear, but we are stronger than the fear.

Sit with fear, practice with fear, and begin discovering that we have strengths that we didn't know we had. To have courage. To have a heart that has the strength to stay open, present, and sensitive to this world. A heart that can look directly at what is happening, look reality right in the eye, and see it for what it is.

I don't think what I'm saying this evening is easy. It is something that requires wisdom and care, but it's a wisdom that comes from stopping and taking a good look. Really study a situation, recognizing what's really happening so that fear doesn't evoke the imagination, running away, or cutting ourselves off from what's happening. Instead, we use it as a reminder, a messenger: now is the time to pay more careful attention to what's really happening here. If it is a real-world danger, then perhaps we're in a better position to take care of ourselves and find safety. And if it comes from social anxieties or imaginary fears of what could possibly happen in the future, I wonder if there isn't an alternative to changing the world or running away. Perhaps it is the opportunity to really stop and breathe with fear, to take a look at it, hold it, and find the strength, the power, and the courage to be with the fear in a way that helps it feel safe and reassured because it's being held in the strength and courage of your good heart.

So those are my thoughts this evening for the Martin Luther King Jr. holiday. I don't know how much fear Martin Luther King had, but he certainly was a courageous man who kept showing up in all kinds of situations of great danger. It took a lot of courage to show up in his nonviolent way when others wanted to harm him. I think it's a great lesson, and it's a great Buddhist lesson to live the power of nonviolence with courage—the dedication to change the world for the better. Because if we can change the world even in the smallest of ways, we do change it for everyone. And to change it in the direction of fearlessness, of safety, of getting to know people, of communicating deeply. In that knowing, in that communication, in recognizing the depths of other people and our shared humanity, perhaps we learn not to fear others ourselves. But maybe also, more importantly, we teach others not to fear us.

May we give each other the gift of fearlessness. May we all live in safety. Thank you.