Dharmette: The Precepts (3 of 5) : Keeping Us Safely on the Path
- Date:
- 2022-11-09
- Speakers:
- Kodo Conlin [Talks] [@AudioDharma]
- Location:
- Insight Meditation Center [Talks] [@YouTube]
- Generation:
- 2026-06-09 (gemini-3-pro-preview) [Raw Markdown] [YouTube Video]
- Keywords:
This is an AI-generated transcript from auto-generated subtitles for the video above. It likely contains inaccuracies, especially with speaker attribution if there are multiple speakers.
Dharmette: The Precepts (3 of 5) : Keeping Us Safely on the Path
Hello again. For some of us, it's morning. For some of us, it's evening. Wherever we are in the world, welcome. Wonderful to be together.
Continuing this discussion of the five precepts keeping us safely on the path, this is our third day. This morning I would like to talk about the third lay precept: "For the sake of our training together, I undertake the precept to abstain from sexual misconduct," and to discuss that in terms of a teaching that I often hear at IMC about ethical sensitivity.
Maybe for 1,500 years or more, it's been very common and traditional in the Theravada[1] Buddhist tradition and other Buddhist traditions to organize the teachings into three trainings. They are ordered as if first we develop Sīla[2]—ethics, virtue, precepts, restraint—and then Samādhi[3], a second training—the training of the mind and heart in collectedness and concentration—and the third training of Paññā[4]—wisdom, discernment.
It is very common to hear them developed in this order. What's interesting is, as we watch the development of the Buddha-Dharma in the United States, certainly many practitioners first encounter meditation. They first encounter the practices of Samādhi, and maybe of wisdom and discernment, before finding their way into Sīla. One of the ways this often happens[5] is that, through our mindfulness practice, we become more and more attuned to what's happening right here. What's happening right here in the body? What's happening in terms of emotion? What's happening in terms of thinking? We become more attentive to our actions and how we're influenced by all of these. Becoming more attuned to this, it's quite a natural movement very often to start to develop what we're calling ethical sensitivity.
In terms of the third precept to abstain from sexual misconduct, it's noteworthy that the Buddha did a lot of his teaching to monastics, and that the monastic rules very clearly state that their practice for monastics[6] was celibacy. He took this very seriously.
Part of what this means for us—probably almost all of us as lay practitioners—is that we have the task, if we want to live according to a Buddhist interpretation of wise sexuality or to abstain from sexual misconduct, of taking on some interpretation on our part of how to apply this in our lives.
My inclination is to explore, or to begin looking at, a wise sexuality through the principles we've been looking at so far in the precepts. If you think back to the first day, we have this teaching of the Buddha teaching Venerable Rāhula[7] to discern or reflect before, during, and after an action: "Is this actually going to do harm? Is it not going to do harm? Is this action skillful? Is it not skillful?" We can apply those understandings and apply those principles to this very multifaceted, sometimes quite complicated world of our romantic life and our sexual life, with the understanding that mindfulness practice is fit for every area of our lives.
And maybe to state it most softly, it sure can't hurt to bring our mindfulness into this realm of our life: sexuality.
I think it goes without saying that many of us are aware of all the many ways that we get caught in our sexuality, and in getting caught up, cause suffering for ourselves and cause suffering and stress for others. So I think we do well to examine: "Am I harming? Am I not? Am I skillful? Am I not?"
One of the close principles to examine when we're looking at our own sexuality, that I think many of us can relate to, is the difference—the distinction, the discernment—between short-term pleasure and our long-term happiness. Part of what's so fascinating about the influence of sexuality is the way that it can stir up the roots of delusion, or a kind of blindness. The passions can get so activated as to influence us to operate out of greed, or even ill will. So we see how sexuality can be very closely tied to these three: delusion, greed, and ill will. And these, in turn, can grow into other unwholesome conduct, harmful conduct.
It may sound a little... I don't know how you'll receive this idea, but here, we'll do it this way: imagine yourself floating along in a river, in a stream. You're floating along on your back, just flowing along. The water is a comfortable temperature, and you are carried along. As long as you're floating, you don't notice just how strong the flow of the river is, how strong the pull of the tide is.
Then you decide as you're floating there, "Oh, I'm going to stand up. I'm going to put my feet on the riverbed." And so you do. You put your feet on the riverbed and you decide, "I'm going to stand still here in the middle of the stream." And when you plant your feet, only then do you see, feel, and sense the utter power of this river, the utter power of this stream. You feel the pushing of the water, and how much force it takes to not be pushed downstream.
I think this can be very closely related to the influence of sexuality on our lives, or how sexuality can influence us. It's just amazing that as we float along in the currents of, say, sexual impulse, sexual behavior, or romantic life, if we do it in an unreflective way, we can just be swept along—totally swept along—and not notice how powerful its influence is. But if we take up a practice, we may plant our feet and finally see, "Wow, look at all this force, influence, and power that these impulses have on my heart, my mind, and my activity."
One of the ways that we do this, or one of the traditional ways we do this—you might see it on retreat, say for a seven-day retreat—is we take up a practice for that set period to observe a deliberate refraining from any sexual expression at all. We take up the practice for those seven days to observe celibacy and to not express our sexuality. It's not an evaluation of sexual impulse or sexual behavior as wrong, bad, or somehow misguided. I think we can see in a time such as that, when you've made a decision, a strong resolve—"Okay, I won't be taken away, swept away, by sexuality for these seven days"—then you can really see the currents. Then you can really feel the pull on your life and see it all the more clearly. And then, as we see through mindfulness practice, as we see more clearly, we have more opportunity to decide to live in a wholesome, skillful, non-harming way for our long-term benefit, for the long-term benefit of others, and for the long-term benefit of the whole world.
I think those are my reflections on this third precept for the morning. My sense now is, why don't we continue with our practice and recite the five precepts? Then we can even see what reflections or questions are coming up in the YouTube chat. So let me share this, and then we can chant together.
Reciting the Precepts
Follow after me:
For the sake of our training together, I undertake the precept to abstain from harming living beings. For the sake of our training together, I undertake the precept to abstain from taking what is not given. For the sake of our training together, I undertake the precept to abstain from sexual misconduct. For the sake of our training together, I undertake the precept to abstain from false speech. For the sake of our training together, I undertake the precept to abstain from intoxicants that are a cause for heedlessness.
May our consideration of these precepts, and considerations of how we can live wisely with our whole life, nourish us. May it support us, support our Sangha[8], and support the community. May all beings benefit. Please take good care until tomorrow.
Theravada: The oldest surviving branch of Buddhism, commonly practiced in Sri Lanka and Southeast Asia. ↩︎
Sīla: A Pali word representing ethical conduct, morality, or virtue. It is the first of the three trainings in Buddhism. ↩︎
Samādhi: A Pali word often translated as concentration, collectedness, or meditative absorption. It is the second of the three trainings. ↩︎
Paññā: A Pali word meaning wisdom or discernment. It is the third of the three trainings. ↩︎
Original transcript included the phrase "by seed" here, which was removed as it appears to be a transcription error. ↩︎
Original transcript said "from an Aztecs," corrected to "for monastics" based on context. ↩︎
Venerable Rāhula: The Buddha's only son, who became a monk. The Buddha gave him famous teachings on truthfulness and reflecting on one's actions. ↩︎
Sangha: A Pali word referring to the Buddhist community, traditionally the monastic community, but often used to refer to the wider community of practitioners. ↩︎