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Guided Meditation: Self Care

Good morning everyone, and welcome. I'm a couple of minutes early here, and I'm delighted to see the many names here I recognize and know. We have Debbie from Portland, hi! And Joe Hayes, I'm so happy to see your name and know you're here. Hi, and Cindy, hi from La Honda. Nice to see you. And Mary from Redwood City, very glad that we have this time together. And Brian, hi. Anne, and Jane. Now we're getting lots of people here, so thank you all for coming.

Welcome to our Sunday morning meditation and talk. For this meditation, I want to evoke a very important Buddhist concept, which is in Pali: anukampā^[1]. I translate it into English as "care." It often gets translated as compassion, which is certainly inspiring, but the notion of care is broader in scope than compassion. If compassion is caring for the suffering of others, care is caring for all aspects of whatever we're paying attention to. Caring for not only the suffering but also the happiness and well-being—what's beneficial for them.

How different or similar these two concepts are is maybe a semantic issue, but I'm very fond of this notion of care. I associate care with something that is quite free, voluntary, that arises out of an open, relaxed, peaceful heart and mind. It's a sentiment, a motivation that doesn't require a lot of planning, intention, cultivation, or development. It's mostly a matter of not being preoccupied with other things—with fear or anger or conceit, or with fantasy and desires. It is to really settle and be settled on oneself in some very deep way.

Then, free of responsibilities, free of obligation, free of fear, free of cravings and greeds, there can arise this beautiful motivation that's an expression of freedom. It has an openness to it, a lightness to it, a delight, and a warmth and a joy to it. Maybe it's all very small; it doesn't have to be dramatic. But this is a beautiful sentiment of just caring for something voluntarily, willingly, happily.

So for us to care for ourselves, meditation is a time to care for ourselves with that kind of lightness, goodness, freedom, and openness. It's a little bit of a paradox, because we can actually feel pretty bad. We could be very harsh on ourselves and critical, and need a lot of forgiveness. So some part of us, our heart, can meet what's difficult in us with care.

If we sit and meditate, it's not a matter of greedily wanting to get concentrated and have a wonderful meditation experience. Rather, in caring for ourselves, it is to allow and cultivate good qualities, good inner states, good ways of thinking, feeling, and being with oneself. But from this place of non-assertion, non-expectation, and non-obligation. Rather, a willingness, in a voluntary way, to be present for ourselves, for our welfare and happiness.

Take this meditation practice by caring for the posture that you meditate in, choosing a posture which expresses your best care for yourself. Sometimes that might be sitting upright in a cross-legged posture, which can be, for certain bodies at certain times, a very caring way of sitting. It could also be sitting in a chair, or it could be lying down, or it could be standing, or it could even be walking. There are so many different ways of doing meditation practice. Sometimes the four postures are called the four dignified postures: sitting, standing, lying down, and walking.

Taking a posture and adjusting the posture out of care—not only the care of avoiding discomfort, but also the care for what will encourage alertness, presence, and a kind of strength of presence for what's happening for us now. That inner strength is, at least symbolically and sometimes actually, what I refer to as the spine. Have the spinal column be balanced, strong, and upright. Or if you're lying down, adjust the spine and also the shoulder blades. Sometimes rolling the shoulder blades down onto the bed, so they kind of slide down slightly if possible, creates a greater feeling of alertness and openness.

Gently closing your eyes, and then before doing much of anything else, search inside of yourself for something like care, compassion for yourself. Some place where you might have goodwill for yourself and really want the best for you. It's associated with generosity, a feeling of abundant generosity. That includes the generosity of forgiveness, which includes the generosity of giving our attention to our experience—the generosity of attention. Not the attention that wants to override or push things away, but the attention that opens up to know, to see, and to make room for possibilities that are different than suffering.

Within this body, in a caring way, as if it's the most important thing you can do, the most caring thing you can do for the moment, take a few slightly deeper breaths than usual. Fuller breaths. Not dramatic, but as if you're really going to oxygenate. Allow the whole breathing to be fuller, more complete. Allow there to be more oxygen throughout your body.

Take slightly deeper breaths so that there can be a longer, relaxing exhale. During these beginning exhales that are longer, you might silently to yourself—or if you're alone, out loud—just make a sound. Sometimes that sound can help things soften and relax, and can help you to settle into the present moment.

Then let your breathing be normal, and continue for a few moments. As you exhale, roam around your body, and if there's any place in your body you can relax, release, and soften on the exhale, do so. It's a caring thing to release unnecessary tension and holding. And it's a caring thing to attend kindly to the tensions that don't want to release. Maybe as you exhale, offer a sense of allowing the tension to be there if it doesn't want to release.

Then just settle into your breathing. Really trust that all you need to do is to relax with the breathing. Center yourself on your breathing; entrust yourself to your breathing in a relaxed, easy way.

Whatever happens as you're meditating here this morning, bring your mindfulness to it. Allow yourself to be mindful and clearly recognize what occurs as it occurs. See if there can be a spirit of kindness and care. A caringness—not that you have to do anything, but the generosity of care. "This is how it is. Okay." Mindfulness and care, awareness and care, perhaps merge together with whatever you're mindful of during this sitting.

If you're wandering off in thought, let there be a caring attention to that mind which is wandering off. Not to keep wandering off, but as an alternative to feeling bad about it or aversive towards it. There's an opening up to awareness, the non-obligatory, generous act of opening up to your experience now. "This is how it is."

And then as we come to the end of this sitting, turn your care outward. It's kind of like you've had a light shining inward—a light of care and attention. Now at the end, you turn that around and shine it outwards into the world.

Is it possible to find within you a caring, a generosity, a goodwill that is not something you're obligated to do or force yourself to do? But rather, seems to come out of a settled heart, an open heart, at some place of tenderness within.

The care, the generosity does not have to be big. But some sense of staying present, gazing upon the world, gazing upon others, gazing upon the whole earth with appreciation, with awe, with delight, with care, love, and compassion. In such a fundamental way that it's just a feeling, an intention, before any thoughts of action come into play about what you should do. Just a feeling of care and goodwill.

Shine that light, open that up to all beings everywhere. To whatever degree, however small, let your goodwill and your sense of care spread outwards to be inclusive of all beings in your neighborhood around you. All beings in the county or province that you live in. All beings in the country that you inhabit. Out into the whole world.

May all beings be happy.
May all beings be peaceful.
May all beings be safe.
May all beings be free.

And may it be that each of us care enough for this, that in our way, in small ways and big ways—whatever is our way—we support that possibility. We support the happiness, safety, peacefulness, and freedom of others that we encounter. May all beings be safe.