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Happy Hour: Metta as a Christmas Carol

Introduction

Hello, hello everyone. Good to see you. Good to be with you this Christmas Eve, Christmas Day. Just lovely to be with you. It's a special time of year, the holidays. Whether one is Christian or not, or celebrates Christmas or not, it feels like, "Oh, the holidays." You know, they're going on, other holidays too at this time, and the solstice that just passed.

And what I especially appreciate—what I've been appreciating and pondering today, really reflecting and sitting with today, which is the inspiration for our practice today together—is how in this time of the year, it feels like there's something else in the air. There's a sense of goodness, goodwill that people share. I was appreciating, for example, all the greetings that came in in the chat. "Oh yes, season's greetings, happy holidays." There's a sense of warmth. There's a sense of goodwill that we associate and share with each other.

To really pause and appreciate that this is an expression of metta^[1]. This is an expression of goodwill that we wish on each other. "May you be well, may you be happy. May you have happy holidays, season's greetings. May you have a happy 2021, a better 2021 than 2020. May you have health and peace." All these wishes that we not just make for one another, but also pause for a moment and really receive them.

So that it's not just a formality. It's not just done without thinking. We just sign our emails "Happy holidays." "Okay, I'm supposed to do that because the other person did that." It's our reciprocity. But what if actually we took this time right now, in every email we sent or every exchange we had, to actually receive the goodwill? Really let it register. Really let it register: "Oh, this person is wishing me well." To really take it in and let the metta, let the goodwill, the kindness, really land in your bones. And also, when you give it, not let it be mechanical, but really touching into your good wish for this other human being, really wishing them well.

As I was saying earlier today, there are a bunch of emails that I was receiving and reading. And I decided to really let them land, to really pause for a moment. Connect with the humanity of this person who was wishing me well, who took an extra couple of seconds or even a minute to type these good wishes. To really connect with that and really let it land. "Ah, I really receive it." And then when I was sending it back to them, to really feel it. To really feel my goodwill. Making that into a practice of cultivating loving-kindness and care.

So with that being the inspiration for our practice together, I'll bring that into our meditation—practicing metta, goodwill for ourselves, for others. And as always, we start by settling with the body, with the breath, and also connecting. As I will guide us, connecting with the sense of goodwill for each other, the fellow practitioners who are spending this time together—Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, whatever time zone you might be in right now. Just sharing our goodwill with each other freely.

Reflections

Thank you so much everyone for joining this practice together. So, I'll change the setting if you'd like to share reflections of what this practice was like for you. Metta as caroling, also putting our thoughts as if ornaments, hanging them on a little Christmas tree, the proverbial one, so you don't have to hold them all. Just letting them be gently. And receiving goodwill as if caroling your favorite carol and singing it to others.

If you'd like to raise your hand or type it in chat. I'll just share with you that for me, it was very sweet, this practice. I had never shared it this way, of course. This is inspired by the season, by the time. But just to imagine a carol... and I'm not a caroler and I wasn't really raised in this tradition, but a carol came up for me and it was so soothing and lovely to imagine myself receiving it from my loved ones, living or not, and feel that I'm held in the care and the goodwill, interconnection with the whole world. And also singing it to others.

So Pete says, "Remarkable, this one will become a classic." Oh, sweet, lovely. Thanks Pete. I'm delighted it makes me very happy.

Andrea says, "That was extremely impactful for me. And the visualization of the tree full of all my thoughts was something that I'm going to use going forward. Really registered with me. O Christmas Tree, my care, O Christmas Tree was my carol and it really connected with the image I conjured." Oh sweet, that makes me so happy. I feel joyous as I read that, as I feel that. Thank you Andrea. Thanks for sharing that. So sweet.

And on YouTube, we have a reflection: "That was wonderful, maybe the best ever, I'm serious." Wow. "Wow, thanks Nikki. Got to go, I'm giddy." Oh, that is sweet. Thanks for joining us, Paul Hellmuth. I forget what your first name is, but your handle is paulhellmuth, so Paul Hellmuth 7. Lovely that he joined.

Anybody else like to share reflections? Either type them or raise your hand, please. And if you raise your hand physically, I may not see you, but I'll try. But if you raise your blue hand—if you go to participants, you'll see "raise"—it'll be lovely to hear how this was for you. Hear your reflections, especially if you don't usually share. I want to invite folks who usually are shy or feel like their reflection isn't important.

Vicky says, "I was raised chanting instead of caroling, so I chanted instead, which was beautiful." Lovely. Fantastic, that's great. That makes me so happy to hear, Vicky, how you adapted the invitation to work for you. Yay, love it. I love the chanting, that's sweet to be chanted to. How sweet. Oh, as you say that, actually, now I imagine... I have this image of monks and nuns chanting their goodwill and me chanting to them. Oh, that's sweet. Thanks for bringing that image. And I don't know if it was monks and nuns, but that's what it conjures up for me. Oh, that's sweet.

Oh, that's Mark. Got it, thank you Mark. So that was Mark on YouTube who says he can't figure out how to change his name, but "Good night." Thanks Mark, lovely to have you join us.

So, any other reflections before we go into our small groups? Okay, and also I realize maybe folks on the phone can't raise their hand, so maybe if people on the phone want to share something... Oh, I see Bill's hand is up, so here we go. Okay, Bill.

Bill: "The part that I related to most is when you talked about being a caroler to people that I didn't know, people that were different in one way or another. And there's something about that, trying to cross that boundary and not be caught up in differences, that is appealing to me, and it's emotional to me. That was the part I liked the best."

Nikki: Yeah, great. I'm delighted to hear that. And you highlighting that, as I was leading that, for me also, it was very emotional for me to also do that, and imagine someone in so many different criteria different from me. Imagining them receiving this carol and feeling moved, feeling happy, maybe moved to tears, and that moved me to share this bond with them. So thanks for bringing that in and highlighting that. Appreciate it.

And Diana, please. We'll make this the last comment before we go into groups.

Diana: "There were several very important images for me, but the first one, with the ornaments on the tree, I got to reflecting on that. Not only do you hang them on the tree, but your Christmas tree in your home, it's not in the center, and it doesn't fill up the whole room. It's in a corner, or it's small, or it's big, but it's there. And it may be pretty and all of those things, and it's respected and liked, but it's not the whole space. And so that whole image was very welcome for me. It's just there, and it's pretty, and manageable. Thank you."

Nikki: Thank you. Well said, Diana, well said. I couldn't have said it better. Thank you for those reflections, lovely.

Yeah, so dear ones, the invitation for practicing and connecting with small groups tonight is to share your goodwill. To really share your goodwill with others, your season's greetings with each other. Maybe it's taking the first 30 seconds or a minute sharing your goodwill with each other as a gift. And then, if you'd like to share what your favorite carol or chant was, or what came up for you, you're welcome. But really, the chance to connect with others and share your goodwill and receive other people's goodwill, it's so powerful to be able to do that. So we'll hopefully leave some time for reflections at the end. So I'm going to create the breakout rooms. And let's see. Here we go. Okay, so... all right, oops, let's try this again. All right, here we go. Okay.

(Breakout rooms session)

Welcome back everyone, the rooms are closed. And yeah, we have about a couple minutes for any reflections you'd like to share, especially about how the rooms were. And again, I'd like to invite folks who usually don't speak up first. So you can either type in chat or raise your hand, please. What was that like? What came up for you? Especially if you're new to Happy Hour, delighted you're here, I would love to hear from you. Your reflection, your voice is important.

Okay, so I'd like to open it up to everyone now. Neil, please.

Neil: "Hi. Thank you for taking the extra night, Nikki. So one of the things we discussed was that... we talked a lot about the caroling and stuff, but one of the things that struck me was that, you know, it's not too often that we think about random people giving us metta. I mean, the fact that it was in the form of caroling all around, but you don't generally think of random people giving it to you, and it was sort of interesting, right? It produced sort of like a... you know, at least for me, it produced a warm and connected feeling. It was really quite sweet, you know? And something that I will... I think about myself giving metta to different groups of people, and I will look to incorporate this into my practice."

Nikki: Beautiful. I so appreciate you noting it and really naming it in that way, Neil. The importance of realizing or appreciating—in this case, imagining, having the vision—but also appreciating that in many ways people are giving us metta, they are giving us goodwill. Random people we don't know, so they're doing it all the time in so many different ways: at the grocery store, at the cash registers^[2] in so many ways. So I so appreciate you naming how impactful that appreciation, that noticing has been for you. Yeah, thank you, Neil.

And Claire, you gotta make this quick, it's already past time, so... Oh, you're still muted. Okay. All right, so tell you what, let's close, and I'll stay extra time if anybody wants to stay extra time and just share a couple more minutes, but let's close at 7:02. And as I said, I am trying to stay respecting the time. So, and somebody, Neil, says, "Love the hat, Claire." Yes, love that, Claire.

All right, so thank you all. Thank you for your practice, thank you for joining. Thank you for singing your heart's song, chant, carol of metta to the world, to each other, and receiving that.

May all of us be safe, happy, free, and all beings everywhere. Thank you for your practice.