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Guided Meditation: Steady Attention on Breathing

Okay, there we go. So good morning and welcome to our meditation session.

One of the important qualities or approaches to meditation that can be very helpful is to steady the mind on something and have a continuity of attention where the mind doesn't jump off that very easily, and so it doesn't get distracted. I don't know if it's a good analogy, but if you're driving on a road to go far to the east, and you just stay on the big highway that goes east, there's a lot of exits you could take. But if you jumped off every exit, you would never get to where you want to go. So if every time the mind is thinking about something, or every time something different happens in your experience and you jump off the exit, you don't really go very far. You don't settle in for the long haul.

This is called a continuity of attention on one thing. And one of the interesting things about a continuity of attention on one thing, something like just the breathing, is it can be seen as very simple and simplistic. We might think not much of our complicated, rich life is in the breathing. And so all this interesting stuff comes up in our minds: our thoughts, our emotions, and feelings. But there's something about staying on the continuity of something, staying on the road without getting off, that allows a deepening. It allows us to connect to something that's deeper and deeper within us. If we keep getting off at all the different exits for all kinds of things that might be important enough in themselves, it interrupts the process of winnowing out a lot of extra stuff that keeps us from coming down to the kernel, to the source, to that something that's really much more deep and connected.

So it's not to hold on tight to one thing, but to have a love or a dedication or a real kind of intentionality: "Okay, let's really do this. And if I can, I'll just stay with the breathing. And if I get pulled off into thoughts and other things, it's okay." You practice with that. But to not do it too casually, have a little strength or a little gentle, loving intentionality. Just stay here. Let's see it through. Let's stay on this road and see where it takes us, and let everything else kind of fall away like all the exits. Let them just go by. Thoughts come, emotions come—let them just kind of wash off to the side. Let them just pass by for now, unless you come to a place where you really need to change roads. Sometimes you have to take detours, and sometimes the road isn't straight, and you have to take a different road for a while. That's okay. But what I'm emphasizing here is a little emphasis on just stay, and stay, and stay.

So assuming a posture, and really spend a little bit of time settling into your posture in such a way that you're settling in to really be in the driver's seat. Really stay engaged, stay present. Alert. Maybe a certain intentness to stay alert enough to not wander off easily.

And to then gently close your eyes. If you're going to use the breathing as your primary focus, make a strong connection to the breathing by taking a few long, slow, deep breaths. You're breathing in deeply and a long exhale. Long exhale, relaxing as you exhale. Relaxing the whole body.

And then letting your breathing return to normal and continue to relax your body. The muscles of the face, the shoulders. Relaxing the belly. And then settling yourself on the body's experience of breathing, wherever that experience is most comforting or most pleasant or most compelling for your mind: the movements of the belly, the chest, sensations in the nostrils, or the whole breath body.

And as you exhale, settle into your breathing, as if breathing is the main highway. Breathing is where you'll stay, just as you would stay attentive to the road as you drove on the freeway and not let your mind wander too much from the road, or at all. So let your attention be with your breathing, not straying from the breath, not easily pulled aside by all the exits that come along. Just with the breathing.

Continuity with breathing that's supported by relaxing with every exhale. Relaxing into the breathing, and rather than straining to be with the breath, relaxing into the breathing as you exhale and receiving the inhale.

And for these minutes that we're meditating, trust that all you really need to do is to stay close to your breathing, letting your thinking recede behind you like the exits that you've passed.

Keeping inside your breathing. Staying connected to breathing. Remain feeling the sensations of breathing one after another. Just breathing.

In the last few minutes of the sitting, gently persist with a focus on your breathing for these minutes, as if it's all you have to do. Let everything else just recede with breathing in the foreground.

And then as we come to the end of the sitting, direct your steady gaze onto the world of others beyond you. A steady and kind gaze, being still and looking upon all things kindly. And the steadiness of attention that can come from meditation can then be directed as a steady gaze, a steady presence on which travels our kindness, our care, our compassion.

It's invaluable to persist in our kindness, in our non-harming, in the peacefulness that we provide for other people so they can feel safe. May it be that what we learn in meditation supports us to find new ways or fuller ways to benefit the lives of others, to live with a wonderful, happy concern for the welfare and happiness of others, as if their happiness and welfare is our own.

May all beings be happy. May all beings be safe. May all beings be peaceful. And may all beings be free.

Dharmette: Sutta Stories - The Lady and Her Servant

So I'll continue today with some stories from the suttas^[1], the ancient discourses of the Buddha. The Buddha himself was a storyteller in that he tells innumerable stories as part of his teachings. Some of them maybe are events that he experienced, some of them I think he just made up for the purposes of teaching. He also makes up many analogies and metaphors, and he's kind of a wonderful storyteller who has a rich vocabulary of storytelling techniques for helping us understand better.

And so here's a story the Buddha told. It seems that there was a monk who, when he was criticized, would easily get upset and get angry when someone pointed out that he wasn't behaving properly. So he told this story.

Once there was a lady, Videhika^[2], who was known for being gentle and kind and peaceful. She had a reputation around town that that was how she was. But this lady also had a servant by the name of Kali, and Kali worked hard. She was very clever and competent in her work, was very neat in her work, cooked delicious food, and did everything for the household that made everything go smoothly and easily.

Then one day Kali, the servant, thought to herself, "You know, it seems that people have this idea that the lady is kind and gentle and peaceful. But I wonder if this is really the case. Let me find out."

So the next morning, when usually Kali would wake up before the lady and get everything ready for the day, on this day Kali slept in. The lady woke up and found that the servant was still sleeping. So she spoke harshly. First she said to her, "What's the matter, Kali, that you're sleeping?"

And Kali said, "Nothing's the matter, I'm just sleeping in."

Then the lady got upset and angry and spoke harshly to her: "Don't do that again. You shouldn't, you can't, you have to do your work."

So then the next day Kali slept in again. And the next day the lady asked, "What's the matter?"

And Kali said, "Nothing's the matter, I'm just sleeping in."

And so then the lady got even more upset and spoke even more harshly. The next day the same thing happened, but this time the lady got really upset and she got a rolling pin from the kitchen and started hitting the servant over the head. Terrible! "You're wicked, you're bad, how could you do such a thing?"

With blood running down her face, the servant ran out in the street and said, "Look everyone! You thought that the lady was kind and gentle and peaceful, but it doesn't take much to provoke her. She actually carries a lot of anger underneath, and that anger, given half a chance or even a mild chance, will surface, and look what she's capable of doing." And from then on, the lady's reputation of being kind and gentle and peaceful was no longer in that town.

I imagine the Buddha made the story up, and maybe we don't like the story too much, but still, it's an example of him using a story as an analogy. Because then he goes on and he says that there are five ways that people might speak to you. He's talking to the monastics. He says that someone might say something that's true or not true. Someone might speak in a timely fashion or a not timely fashion. Someone might speak gently or harshly. Someone might speak with loving-kindness^[3] or not with loving-kindness. Someone might speak to benefit others or to harm them. So these are the five ways it's possible to speak.

Regardless of how they speak to you, you should have loving-kindness for them. You should have kind regard for them. You should be concerned and care for their welfare and their happiness. In other words, don't succumb to anger, bitterness, or resentment. If they speak to you in a way that's not kind, not beneficial, a way that's harmful, that's untimely, or that is false, that's not a reason to get angry, to get upset, to be distressed. You should always maintain a heart of kindness. That doesn't mean that we're a pushover, it doesn't mean that we go along with what they want, but it means that we find our way without getting angry.

And then he goes on to make some analogies. He says, "What do you think? If a person comes along with a shovel, maybe a wheelbarrow, and starts digging up the dirt on the earth to take it away, could that person succeed at hauling away all the dirt from the earth?"

And I imagine those listening kind of laughed and said, "No, you can't take the dirt away from the earth, where are you going to put it?"

And so in the same way, you should make your mind like the earth. No matter what comes your way, you're undisturbed, you're balanced. You're unchanged by the harshness or the trouble when people speak to you in unkind ways or in untruthful ways. Rather, you should continue to spread loving-kindness.

Suppose, he said next, that a person comes along with paint, all kinds of beautiful colored paints, and a paintbrush, and dips the brush in the paint and starts painting in the air. Would that person make any kind of painting?

And they say, "No, you can't paint that way. You have to paint on something, you can't just wave your brush in the air."

In the same way, make your mind like empty space. So that whatever words come your way, they don't paint a picture on your mind. Your mind doesn't react, it doesn't take the colors that are thrown at you when people are unkind or speak words that are harmful. Rather, maintain loving-kindness and stay concerned, care for the welfare of this person, and start with that person and then spread that care and goodwill through everyone in all directions.

And then he goes on to say that if you put a little bit of dye—I think this is right, and I don't have the story 100% accurate, so you have to be a little bit generous that I'm being a storyteller myself in some of the details. But anyway, he says, imagine that there's the Ganges river, and someone puts a little bit of dye, a few drops of dye, in that Ganges river. Would that change the river? Would it color the river?

And the person said, "No, a few drops might change the color in a small glass of water, but it has no impact on the Ganges river."

And so in the same way, make your mind like the Ganges river: broad and wide and flowing. The words that other people say towards you, let it be like those few drops so that it has no impact on you, it has no effect on you. So that you can maintain a heart of kindness, goodwill, and loving-kindness for this other person. You can maintain care. You can stay caring for their welfare and their happiness even if they want to harm you. And with that person, cultivating your loving-kindness to that person, then spread it out to all beings everywhere.

So the first story of the lady and Kali is a story about how there are underlying tendencies^[4] we have. We can behave one way, but deeper down in the mind, there might be triggers for us to get angry, upset, even hostile, violent even. And the point of Buddhist practice is really to touch the deeper place and transform it and to change it, so that our kindness is not superficial, or feigned, or pretend, or doesn't really come from who we are, or we're not in danger of really causing harm ourselves.

This is one of the reasons why we want to develop concentration in meditation. There's something about concentration that can sometimes bring us deeper under the surface concerns we have, the surface mind and preoccupations and concerns and stories we tell ourselves, deeper down to really see what's there. And sometimes what we find is that there are underlying layers of resentment and anger or upsetness or fear or greed that's there. And that is something really good to touch and to see, so we know it's there and then we can practice with it and resolve it, dissolve it, solve it. All these words having "solve" in them have to do with releasing, untying them—in the Latin root, to untie.

And to cultivate loving-kindness, not just to be neutral as we untie the knots of the heart, but to cultivate loving-kindness no matter what, even if people are speaking words that are difficult for us to hear. It's a kind of a tall order, it's a challenge with the lives that we live. But here the Buddha is really pointing to the role of practice. We practice because this is a valuable way of living. This is a valuable way, not as a moral obligation to be kind or to uproot our anger, but rather this is both working for the welfare of ourselves and the welfare of others. To really uproot our underlying tendencies to anger and to cultivate the ability not to succumb to anger and hostility no matter what people say to us, this preserves our own peace and well-being and is for our own welfare. And as we do it, we are also creating the conditions where other people might work for their own welfare, that other people might relax, making it possible for other people to be at peace if they know how to use it, if they know how to allow for it.

So thank you, and we'll continue a few more stories this week.